I've hooked up with plenty of women but...

[NewMan]

Yeah.

So I have been dating and hooking up with plenty of women recently.

There's been 8 since I broke up with my ex - 6 months ago.

May not sound to many to some people, but for me it's a lot - it's taken me many years to get where I'm at now.

The problem is the following:-

Whilst all of these women have been fun - they are just not the knockout chick I'm looking for.

I seem to compare them all to my ex - and they just don't match up.

I end up sabortarging the whole deal, because I only want to be with those fun/hot/cool chicks.

There just seems to be a lack of quality women out there - or women who are able to keep my interest.

I sometimes wonder if it's me - since I can always seem to find something wrong with the girl I'm seeing.

Anyone had/have this problem?

 

[Sex0r]

Word of advice:
Try to see the positive aspects in a person, rather then the negative ones.

 

[drake]

Man, I know exactly what you are talking about. But I also remember that before my ex, I thought nobody was better then the ex before her. But after meeting the current ex, and having gone out on a couple dates, and even turned down a couple dates, I can actually say that my ex had the PACKAGE. But, other girls out there have the package as well.

Once you find someone with the PACKAGE, that is where your new standard begins to come in. Its tough, but think about it. The next girl that you finally let into your world, is going to be up to those standards and probably even better. You just keep upping the annie!!

High standards are not a bad thing man, Trust me. Look at all the failed marriages today. You know what you are looking for. Dont settle. Dating after 6 months kinda sucks I must admit. I personally like to date for a month or 2 and hope that I find a girl that I can kick with for a medium LTR. But if that dont happen, its back to the dating pool again. Ahhhhhhhh

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

newman, my thinking on this issue is the same as yours...only more radical. I only go after quaity chicks no matter if there is a long void in between. Not getting what you want just isn't satisfying and uplifting as being with someone that you desire.

Dating alot of girls just to date is too taxing, timely, and costly!! Why should I expend all that effort on someone who is not worth it, in my eyes at least!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Finding quality women is definitely a difficult thing to do. The fun part is meeting all of women that could possibly fit. However I must say that one of your problems is that you keep comparing these women with your ex. If you ex was so good, you'd still be dating her, wouldn't you?

Having high standards isn't a bad thing. Looking for specific qualities are good too, it's all a part of the qualifying that should be done to determine if a woman is someone we should expend some effort.

You may be suffering from a mild case of One-itis. You've dated several women since your breakup but how many women have you seen concurrently? For me, having several 'possibilities' in the works made things fun for me and kept me a challenge for the women. It allowed me to see what they were truly made of while the competed for my attention.

The fact of the matter is that no matter how good of a DJ you are, there will always be an abundance of women around who don't have a clue. Having DJ skills just allows you not to succumb to their games BUT it allows you to see women more critically for who they really are. This makes it easy to tell if a woman merits your attention for the long term.

In the meantime just enjoy the process. Meet tons of women, have a good time, improve your DJ skills and in time you'll recognize the woman for you when she comes along.

 

[sux2bu]

I have a confession to make: In all seriousness, I don't hold any guilt or remorse for all the girls I've f***** and dumped.

That is all.


Happy Valentine's day!

 

[NewMan]

****
However I must say that one of your problems is that you keep comparing these women with your ex. If you ex was so good, you'd still be dating her, wouldn't you?

Having high standards isn't a bad thing. Looking for specific qualities are good too, it's all a part of the qualifying that should be done to determine if a woman is someone we should expend some effort.

You may be suffering from a mild case of One-itis. You've dated several women since your breakup but how many women have you seen concurrently? For me, having several 'possibilities' in the works made things fun for me and kept me a challenge for the women. It allowed me to see what they were truly made of while the competed for my attention.
*********

I agree to some degree.

But let's take it a little further.

Shouldn't we be comparing these women to our ex's?

It's a way to figure out whether we want to spend time with them - or whether they measure up. I'm certainly not looking for a duplicate - but there certain qualities in my ex that I want in any new girl. After all we have to compare these women to something..... and out ex's determine our choices for today.


As for the number of women I've see concurrently - the most is 3. It does make things a little more exciting.

It also makes me think - why did we break up with my ex?

Sure nothings ever perfect - but she was a damn site better than any other women I've meet thus far.

Tough deal.

**********
PuertoRican_Lover

newman, my thinking on this issue is the same as yours...only more radical. I only go after quaity chicks no matter if there is a long void in between. Not getting what you want just isn't satisfying and uplifting as being with someone that you desire.

Dating alot of girls just to date is too taxing, timely, and costly!! Why should I expend all that effort on someone who is not worth it, in my eyes at least!
**************

I understand where your comming from PRL - but you have to spend time with these women in order to see if they measure up. Dating is the only real way to do this.

I meet women, and if I like them from first impressions I'll ask them for their number.

After dating them a few times, I quickly figure out if I want to spend more time with them - lately it's been a huge NO.


I'm just a little put off by some of the women out there. I know my standards are high, but I don't intend on compromising.

My life pretty damn good - and I want a woman who's going to improve my life - add to it, not detract from it.

 

[DJnomore]

Try being friends with them...

There is nothing quite like going out with women and rejecting them but in such a way that they think you are all that and a bag of chips. Then you meet their fine friend and they set you up and you live happily ever after.

Seriously if you are honest with women and don't over play interest most women will respect you and in the long run respect==attraction.