i've had sex with close to 100 woman. but can't get a girlfriend.

[bukowski_merit]

another one gone...

for like 6 years i've been perfecting my ability to meet, greet, lay, and leave woman...

i'm in my late 20's now, and the itch to settle down with one has hit me (i'm even feeling like i want a kid)...

i'm having a real hard time figuring out how to do this...

i've tried it with the last 3 woman i've felt were worthy... had no problem laying them... building chemistry...and all... but something seems to keep going wrong...

girl 1: was a long time sex buddy who actually has been expressing to me for some time that she's be interested in a relationship with me... i started realizing one night while we were together that maybe i wanted one with her... the minute i express this - she basically falls off the map...

girl 2: was from work. she's always been flirting with me and i decided to take it to the next level. she left her 6 year boyfriend to be with me. the sex was mindblowing between us. we started saying 'i love you' to each other... dating... then one day she decided to go on a 'closure' date with her ex, and the next day - we were no more and they were back together.

girl 3: just ended tonight (via text messaging). girl i meant from the gym. we've been doing the 'dating' thing for about a month. she goes out with her girls last weekend - i go out with my boys... she meets an old high school friend and suddenly i'm option #2.... i never settle for being option #2 - so i ended it...


i AM NOT just picking any girl i meet to settle down with. there's girls inbetween these girls who i'm meeting and not finding them to be relationship material. These 3 girls are over about an 8 month period...


i just know all the in's and out's of maintaining the build up until the sex... i'm clueless when it comes to maintaining attraction... i've never had to when i was focused on getting the sex...


someone give me some good advice on taking what i know and applying it so that i don't keep having problems... or links to articles... etc... cuz this is depressing me...

 

[Bible_Belt]

Were any of these girls fun to be around when you two were not fvcking? If you can find a woman that you actually enjoy being around, completely separate from sex, and yet still have good sex too, then those things are the beginnings of a decent LTR.

 

[bukowski_merit]

girl 1 and 2 were incredible to be around outside of bed... like i said - i think i qualify these woman pretty good before i decide to move in on them... #2 was possibly the best girl i've ever been around, we had unstoppable fun in and out of bed... perhaps that's why her ex fought to get her back so hard...

but yeah... maybe i'll join a church... get a religious girlfriend (and have boring religious sex with her haha)...

 

[DonJuan11]

for like 6 years i've been perfecting my ability to meet, greet, lay, and leave woman...

i've tried it with the last 3 woman i've felt were worthy... had no problem laying them... building chemistry...and all... but something seems to keep going wrong...

girl 1: was a long time sex buddy who actually has been expressing to me for some time that she's be interested in a relationship with me... i started realizing one night while we were together that maybe i wanted one with her... the minute i express this - she basically falls off the map...

girl 2: was from work. she's always been flirting with me and i decided to take it to the next level. she left her 6 year boyfriend to be with me. the sex was mindblowing between us. we started saying 'i love you' to each other... dating... then one day she decided to go on a 'closure' date with her ex, and the next day - we were no more and they were back together.

girl 3: just ended tonight (via text messaging). girl i meant from the gym. we've been doing the 'dating' thing for about a month. she goes out with her girls last weekend - i go out with my boys... she meets an old high school friend and suddenly i'm option #2.... i never settle for being option #2 - so i ended it...

i just know all the in's and out's of maintaining the build up until the sex...

option 1: why are you teling a girl, that is just for having sex, that you like her? a girl for sex is just for sex, you can't turn it into a relationship one night after the sex. you have to build trust, emotion, intimacy with her. Of course she got scared. Going from an "Orgasm" to an "O I love you" would scare anyone.

option 2: Again, what is with all these "I love you's"? Maybe that's how are you getting them to sleep with you so fast. I love you is a nono to a girl. You have to show it to her if you want a relationship with her. Be caring, be considerate, be fun, be interesting, introduce her to your parents, your friends, you friends friends. A quick sex and "I love you" doesn't qualify her as your gf, it's an easy way out. Girls are all about feelings and not words.

option 3: what is "the dating thing?" If you're not her bf, who cares if she met someone? Doesn't sound like anything serious happened here.


If you don't want sex anymore with girls you just met and want a girlfriend, treat her like your girlfriend. Be fun, be nice, be respectful, reward her with her good behavior, take away your attention with her bad behavior. Again, "I love you" or sleeping together on the first date might make her knees weak, but it does not make her your girlfriend.

 

[leftForDeadPhoenix]

Date a conservative church girl. A lot of them seem to want to go long term. I had one try to get me to marry her after dating only a month. We hadn't even had sex yet.

 

[bukowski_merit]

option 1: why are you teling a girl, that is just for having sex, that you like her? a girl for sex is just for sex, you can't turn it into a relationship one night after the sex. you have to build trust, emotion, intimacy with her. Of course she got scared. Going from an "Orgasm" to an "O I love you" would scare anyone.

option 2: Again, what is with all these "I love you's"? Maybe that's how are you getting them to sleep with you so fast. I love you is a nono to a girl. You have to show it to her if you want a relationship with her. Be caring, be considerate, be fun, be interesting, introduce her to your parents, your friends, you friends friends. A quick sex and "I love you" doesn't qualify her as your gf, it's an easy way out. Girls are all about feelings and not words.

option 3: what is "the dating thing?" If you're not her bf, who cares if she met someone? Doesn't sound like anything serious happened here.


If you don't want sex anymore with girls you just met and want a girlfriend, treat her like your girlfriend. Be fun, be nice, be respectful, reward her with her good behavior, take away your attention with her bad behavior. Again, "I love you" or sleeping together on the first date might make her knees weak, but it does not make her your girlfriend.

1) like i said - she'd been expressing to me for some time that she would like to do more than just have sex, even going as far as to tell me she'd like to be my girl. but i'd always told her i liked it better how it was. one night i told her i thought we should give the relationship thing a try, and i've barely heard from her since. i WOULD NOT have even considered it had she not brought it up in the past... in retrospect - i might have been best off if i had waited for her to ask me again since she seemed to ask every 2 months or so... and i never in my life told her i loved her or anything of that sort...


2) i did tell this one i loved her, but only after she dropped a million hints that she was ready to hear it... and honestly - it was about 2 months into our 'relationship' and i felt like it was real, and still kindda feel attached to this girl. i've said "i love you" to like 4 girls - and she happens to be one of them. and i said it well after we had had sex at least 30 times... i did introduce her to my parents and family and she introduced me to hers... i even stayed down at the beach with her and her cousins... everything was good until her ex came back into her life... and i guess the new love she had for me couldn't overcome her 6 year ex coming back into her life... after a 2 month layoff - he was a new man to her... and i tipped my hat and moved on...


3) she had plans with me and blew them off to do something with this new guy she meant last night... and didn't even have a fake excuse... she just told me that much... i know - it was quite possibly a sh!t test... and if it was - i failed.


but yes, to pick up woman - i do rely on my sexual game habits... all of these girls were easy pickups and once i was around them i decided they fit my idea of what a good girlfriend would be. i'm just not sure what goes wrong... they all tell me how fun i am... how great i am in bed (#2 said i was easily the best)... how much they love being with me... but something happens...

perhaps i'm sabotaging myself... i dunno... i do wear my heart on my sleeve though... which is more or less why i decided to do the pickup thing 6 years ago (after about 7 straight failed attempts to get with various woman). this is bringing up memories from my past... the only difference is that i'm having sex with these girls and i wasn't back then...

 

[bukowski_merit]

Date a conservative church girl. A lot of them seem to want to go long term. I had one try to get me to marry her after dating only a month. We hadn't even had sex yet.

i've honestly thought about something along these lines (or an older woman - most of the girls i date are in their early 20s). but i like really rough sex, and i don't think many conservative church woman would find that appropriate haha

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Go overseas women in North America are junk

Yea seriously, www.nomarriage.com for life

 

[Darth]

Go for a hot, but young, conservative girl (why go for older women when there are plenty of younger ones that want to get married too)

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

From what I have seen. Most relationships that are based on sex or started out by sex usually don't last too long. From my own experience... Girls that I was starting to date (some of them) we didn't have sex until a week or two later sometimes. Our relationships did last awhile too.

Building a friendship within a relationship before sex can really go a long way. Most guys though, just want to hurry up and get the pvssy. Which, is fine. But, at your age; looking for a LTR. Take things slower and really connect and get to know each other. You also might be trying too hard or wanting to force the relationship.

I wouldn't go for the young ones. They're more immature and don't know what they want yet. Church girls are more conservative, faithful, and not hors.