I've gottin a bunch of numbers but no dates

[static]

What am I doing wrong?

My latest call to an HB went as follows. First, I cold appraoched her and got her number on Friday. My vocal projection was on its bad side then, and it was the same in this conversation (probably my subconcious was telling me that I had to project the same person to her). So I again projected the image of a dull personality.

HB:Hello
Me: Hi, I'm calling for HB
HB:Hi
Me: Hi, it's static
HB: Hey
Me: Hey what's up, what r u doing?
HB: I'm just laying down in my room taking a break from studying and just relaxing
Me: Oh, so how was your weekend?
HB: It wasn't bad...not bad...not bad
Me; That's good
HB: How was yours
Me: It was all right
Me: I'm about to go to get something to eat, would you like to come along?
HB: Ohhh, I just ate downstairs at the dorm's brunch.
Me: What did you eat?
HB: I had Pizza and an omelette
Me: Oh....What time do you get off school next Friday?
HB: 2 p.m.
Me: Oh, I get off at 6
HB; That must be tough
Me: No it's actually O.K. because blah blah blah
Me: So what days are you gonna be free this week?
HB: Well I have homework all the way till thursday
Me: Homework?
HB: Well, it's really hard homework.
Me: Well, I get off of class at 6 on thusday, how about then?
HB: Ooook, (thinking), oh wait, I have tutoring from 6-7 on thursday.
Me: Ok, then at 7:30
Pause
HB: Well, r u asking me in the friendship sense because to be honest with you I'm already seeing someone.
Me: I don't know because I don't know you
HB: Right, of course.
pause.
Me: ok well seems like really busy.
HB: yeah
Me: ok well the maybe I'll see around campus
HB: well I think that's great
Me:Ok, bye.

There was also a little conversation about where she use to live-it was led on by me telling her where I was going to eat today. This place happens to be at an old residence of hers.

My other convo's weren't as pushing as this one, but they all had the pattern of asking if she can do something some time, and then getting told that she already has plans that day. Then I'd ask what days they're free, but they didn't know. I'm actually this way myself, I don't know what days I'll feel up to going out and be considered free ,especially due to the homework and not knowing when I'll be done,etc. Since these are college girls, would a different approach help?

 

[Grey Fox]

Dude save the conversations for the date. The phone is for asking her if she wants to go out or not. Don't be angry that these numbers are not working out, this some process where you go through a litany of steps and viola, you got a girl. It takes work and patience. Just have more confience in yourself and a little bit of patience and in time things do happen.

-Grey Fox

 

[The Dominated1]

Great post and good work!

The reality is that cold approaches are going to be less successful than other types of situations.

But keep in mind that if you dont take the shot there is a 100% chance of failure.

I generally don't cold approach - If I see a HB then I will find a way to run into her again - it could be weeks but during that time the other HB's are in rotation.

To overcome my dissapointment at the kind of situation you described above I decided to ask out 10 girls just to see the date rate / flake ratio was therefore one No wasn't important because I was focused on the results of 10.

Worked for me and the results were better than I expected.

 

[JJMcLure]

First off, nice work getting the numbers, you're way ahead of most people on this board.

Some comments:

- Should always be upbeat on the phone, don't maintain that low state you talked about
- At least the numbers are real
- Convo was a bit long and the topics weren't very interesting. Try to recall something from your last meeting and talk about it, to try to get her to recall the state she was in when you last met and remember you. Do a little fluff talk then set up the date. Talk on the date, not the phone.
- Don't say your weekend was "allright" or "OK". Sound exciting, like you always have a great time - someone she would want to be around. Consider if this weekend was allright, but last weekend was AWESOME. But then she only hears about this weekend, and she gets that picture of you.
- Your date idea was pretty uninteresting. Girls without HIGH IL have a good chance of not taking you up on that. Do action dates. Plus you gave her no advance notice (you know chicks spend ages getting ready, especially to meet a hot guy right?).
- She isn't interested, that much is obvious.
- Telling her you don't know yet how you want to get to know her is weak and you BOTH know it. She will think you lack confidence. Yes, you're not asking for a relationship, but NO you aren't trying to be her FRIEND.

Plus, good work pinning her down on days to gauge her IL, you now know not to waste more time on her.

 

[LionFox]

Good work on getting the number..

I'd say, she might have thrown you a classic bull**** test-- she doesn't have a boyfriend, she just wanted to she how you would respond and you caved my friend, caved mightly like a 16 year old virgin to the captian of the football team..

Remember, keep it ****y and funny and let nothing she says phase you. You determine your reality, not her!

Lastly, if you can cold approach and get real numbers, you have a lot of opportunities that aren't present to other guys. My style utilitizes the "only approach women interested in you" described by pook, anti-dump and some others, because it just works better for me. I would like get good at cold approach someday though.. it's just not in my style right now.

 

[DJ_Dork]

conversation appeared boring and forced. the phone is used for either conversation or making a meeting. try to avoid combining the both together, it is disastrous.

think about it like when you call up your friends to do stuff.

 

[rjherche]

In all fairness, when you're dealing with a girl who has low interest she's likely to make the conversations boring and forced anyway.

 

[One on One]

I think the problem you had here was you were fishing for a date. Just do what you did and ask her to join you for brunch. Then, when she said she already ate, just say something like "aww that sucks, well maybe another time." End the convo there.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Originally posted by static
What am I doing wrong?

My latest call to an HB went as follows. First, I cold appraoched her and got her number on Friday. My vocal projection was on its bad side then, and it was the same in this conversation (probably my subconcious was telling me that I had to project the same person to her). So I again projected the image of a dull personality...would a different approach help?

my 20 year old daughter told me she can easily spot when a guy's the least bit nervous when he approaches her, and she knows right away this guy is not the confident, relaxed, smooth, bold type of guy she prefers. Perceptive creatures aren't they?