Ive been in an exclusive RS for the past month: The grass isnt greener

[AJ84]

If a girl is out at the bars flirting with other guys, that's just ridiculous.

Of course yeah. That’s not right if she is in a relationship. But if the me time is her doing her own thing like her hobby, reading a book or binge watching some show she knows you hate lol, that’s different.

When you have the me time to do exactly what you want to do, even if it’s just to be alone with your thoughts, it’s very nourishing and helps you reset. It’s vital to have that time to reconnect with yourself and just be, esp when we are exposed to other people’s energy most of the time.

 

[sosousage]

So it's been a month.

Before this it had been almost 3 years since my last (With the BPD one)

The relationship is good, my girlfriend is attractive and a very kind and caring person. We have heaps in common.

But already I'm starting to think .."man I wish I could just chill on my own tonight"

It's not that I'm not happy with her or want anyone else, I am and I don't. But I think I'll always be a guy who just likes plenty of his own space.

I'm just saying this because I know there's guys who think just having a good girlfriend will "fix everything" but trust me, there's downsides, and having a share of someone else's emotional wellbeing is pressure.

men need sex or social life (or both) and healthy/fulfilling career to be in best mental condition

 

[zekko]

If a girl is out at the bars flirting with other guys, that's just ridiculous.

Another reason to pick a girl who is not a drinker.

 

[greatsnake]

Let her know you have your own interests early or else it could get worse. If she complains about that/continues to be overbearing, I’d cut it loose....

 

[17 shots]

What the hell man... I thought we were players for life

 

[greatsnake]

What the hell man... I thought we were players for life

LOL

 

[CMNILS87]

Dude this sounds like you’re just not happy on the inside or you’re just so used to playing the field you don’t know how to be in a normal relationship. Sack the **** up and tell her you’re taking alone time after work 3 days out of 7 to focus on you. This isn’t rocket science, enforce your boundaries

 

[Sunnypoo]

The best relationship Ive had is the one I'm in now. She gives me my space with no hassles, it's great.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

The issue is we men know that women get approached at bars, hell thats half the purpose of them.

I don't mind if my gf goes out now and again with the ladies for a happy hour, but if its an evening out with the girls, then she is well aware she is placing herself into oncoming traffic of men hitting on her. I am not cool with that and neither is any man if they are honest.

Agreed. The way women can Stone wall, dudes need to put their foot down.

The way to flip the script is in setting up your prerequisite for commitment.

Hypergamy is celebrated. Women crater SMV. Meanwhile, hotter girls are turning 18 19 20 21 every day.

A egg drops every month. The wall is coming. The girl power fiasco is cheering women in the abyss. I welcome the impending doom.


A man's willingness to walk is Goat status. Its the upper echelon of game. Unconditional love is cuck as is much of modern religion and Christianity.

Nearing 40 and now found god. Man up and raise her bastard children.

Danger mate, respect!

 

[logicallefty]

I’ve had some arguments like this with my GF, more so in the first few months. I’ve pretty much said “I need my alone time and I am going to have it . Get mad if you want, try and guilt trip me if you want. Or if it’s a real show stopper for you then dump me. But I’m going to have my alone time and that’s my final answer, end of discussion. “ After about 3-4 times of this she doesn’t nag me so much on it anymore.

 

[The Duke]

So it's been a month.

Before this it had been almost 3 years since my last (With the BPD one)

The relationship is good, my girlfriend is attractive and a very kind and caring person. We have heaps in common.

But already I'm starting to think .."man I wish I could just chill on my own tonight"

It's not that I'm not happy with her or want anyone else, I am and I don't. But I think I'll always be a guy who just likes plenty of his own space.

I'm just saying this because I know there's guys who think just having a good girlfriend will "fix everything" but trust me, there's downsides, and having a share of someone else's emotional wellbeing is pressure.

This is why its important to set boundaries from the start. A girl has to be really awesome for me to give more than 2 nights a week to. Define your expectations and stick to them. Don't cave because you get horny either! If she likes it great, if not then go who cares. Most of the time they will go along with it.

Always stay true to who you are. Always be yourself. That is the only way to attract and keep the right girls.

 

[Roober]

It's important to find balance and how it works with your life. While I would agree that "me time" is important, it's more a matter of what works for you. Some people are good with spending oodles of time together, others are not.

Nobody can tell you the proper time, because it's your lifestyle that will dictate it. And there is no two situations that are the same either. For example, if you hit the gym 3 hours a day when single, then a relationship may be affected by that. Or of you played excessive videogames, that be a problem too. on the flipside, you may spend more time talking and traveling and 0ther things people do in relationships. It's important to understand how all topics should be on the table, regardless of how uncomfortable they may be.

The key I see from your post... you use this womans attractiveness, which is completely irrelevant, as an excuse to delay discussing a difference in values. I think you sense the difference, and are afraid to speak up about it. You're merely prolonging what your gut is already telling you.

 

[bob2007]

She wants you to spend more time cause her aim is marriage. I think I realize this years later. Marriage is 24/7 and if you're not being prepped for that then she is less happy. I think women are wired like this.

Ya they're bored. They find pointless activities to do cause they are novel (archery, ax throwing, etc. etc. .
As a man of substance, I'm multi-talented and can work on my own hobbies.
Most women don't have hobbies esp. now it's mostly foodie ( which is not a hobby ).

 

[lizardking82]

I know the exact feeling you got. You have been playing the field so much and are so caught up mentally in the "game" and in the fact you "got so many options, girls hitting on you so why should you settle down". I guess since you gave this girl a relationship, she must have earned/deserved it from your point of view. But you're still restless and your heart is "crying" for all the goodies left on the other side of the wall.

I can tell you this: any significant change in lifestyle will make you feel kind of trapped at first. Give it some time, test it out, embrace the feelings that come out of it. Not all are valid feelings, a lot of them are fueled by insecurities and similar negative emotions residing within you. Don't lose something good cause of some feelings from the past. Give it time.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Dont marry someone who doesnt make you better. The right wife is like plugging a turbo charger on your engine. Enhanced power and performance. The wrong wife is like sticking balled up socks up your inlet path, more restriction and decrease performance. All women arent bad for you. Thing about it is the glam queens are normally gold diggers which means they are out for blood, money and resources. Im not sure how they help.