Hughman
Senior Don Juan
As the title says, my time in this community, my time reading Roissy, RooshV, VK, the Female Misogynist, and other MRA/MC blogs has corrupted me.
Once I used to be a nice guy. Not just a Nice Guy, but a good person in general. I had faith in humanity. I wanted to find the good in people. I was friendly to people before I knew them. I'd trust them. I'd turn the other cheek if they offended me, directly or otherwise.
Now...well, I just don't know anymore. I don't trust people. I see duplicity, Machiavellian scheming, manipulation wherever I go. I refuse to backdown when I know I'm right. My sense of humour, always a bit dark and twisted (but kept under wraps as not to cause a scene) is now in the full view of light.
I've been called an arsehole to my face, a womaniser, a schemer.
People have said 'Is that how you talk to all women/people?' 'How far does that normally get you?' 'You're one of those guys are you?'
And yet, and yet I don't care as much as I should do. A few months ago the thought that I'd be called, even thought that I was, a **** or a jerk would keep me up that night. And the reason for me doing that would keep me in a guilt-ridden state for weeks.
Take last night - a girl pushed me to my limits. She had mad IOIs at a party we were at - making-out etc etc. I've since played it cool, chatted now again, but she's always 'busy'.
So I joked yesterday I'd at least see her at my birthday. She then goes she isn't sure as another friend has the same birthday as me. I (joked) that my birthday invite came first and her friend shouldn't be sabotaging our social groups. She then got mad, called me a nob and saying that what I said was nasty and then stormed off. Within 30 minutes, 3 of her friends were attacking me over text and Facebook (who normally don't talk to me). I told them I was being humourous, and it's not my problem if they don't get that. 'My bad' for not making it clear was how I concluded. No 'sorry'. No 'apology'. I've heard nothing since.
Something like that before I found this community would have mortified me. I would have been practically on my knees asking for forgiveness. Now I'm for all intents and purposes making them ask for my forgiveness. It's not my problem they are disorganised and can't take a joke. Leading me on and goading my temper and patience with cause me to react. But not in a way a beta chump would.
So what I'm asking is this: Is it no better I'm now a ****, rather than a chump? Does reacting amorally, without concern for others feelings, make me no better than the nice guy I once was? Or am I progressing to a state men should be in? Or am I part way there?
*mind dump over*
Once I used to be a nice guy. Not just a Nice Guy, but a good person in general. I had faith in humanity. I wanted to find the good in people. I was friendly to people before I knew them. I'd trust them. I'd turn the other cheek if they offended me, directly or otherwise.
Now...well, I just don't know anymore. I don't trust people. I see duplicity, Machiavellian scheming, manipulation wherever I go. I refuse to backdown when I know I'm right. My sense of humour, always a bit dark and twisted (but kept under wraps as not to cause a scene) is now in the full view of light.
I've been called an arsehole to my face, a womaniser, a schemer.
People have said 'Is that how you talk to all women/people?' 'How far does that normally get you?' 'You're one of those guys are you?'
And yet, and yet I don't care as much as I should do. A few months ago the thought that I'd be called, even thought that I was, a **** or a jerk would keep me up that night. And the reason for me doing that would keep me in a guilt-ridden state for weeks.
Take last night - a girl pushed me to my limits. She had mad IOIs at a party we were at - making-out etc etc. I've since played it cool, chatted now again, but she's always 'busy'.
So I joked yesterday I'd at least see her at my birthday. She then goes she isn't sure as another friend has the same birthday as me. I (joked) that my birthday invite came first and her friend shouldn't be sabotaging our social groups. She then got mad, called me a nob and saying that what I said was nasty and then stormed off. Within 30 minutes, 3 of her friends were attacking me over text and Facebook (who normally don't talk to me). I told them I was being humourous, and it's not my problem if they don't get that. 'My bad' for not making it clear was how I concluded. No 'sorry'. No 'apology'. I've heard nothing since.
Something like that before I found this community would have mortified me. I would have been practically on my knees asking for forgiveness. Now I'm for all intents and purposes making them ask for my forgiveness. It's not my problem they are disorganised and can't take a joke. Leading me on and goading my temper and patience with cause me to react. But not in a way a beta chump would.
So what I'm asking is this: Is it no better I'm now a ****, rather than a chump? Does reacting amorally, without concern for others feelings, make me no better than the nice guy I once was? Or am I progressing to a state men should be in? Or am I part way there?
*mind dump over*
)