I've become AFC, and she's losing interest....can I save it?

[Dgwizdal]

Maybe if I were a virgin that would be the case. But now I honestly wouldn't care if I didn't have sex with her til we're married. If I just wanted to have sex I would just go back to hooking up with sluts for a night. Trust me, if a guy has only sex in mind, who's gonna go after a girl that believes in waiting it out for a year? F**k that! I'm in this for the aspect of this is the most I've ever loved a girl, and I want the relationship aspect of it

If you break up with her FIRST - she will be more in love with you than EVER.

I can give you a step by step guide on how to get her interest back full throttle but you are going to f*ck it up because you'll be putting on a show. When she calls your bluff - chances are that you won't be able to keep your composure.

HOWEVER.

DO NOT VERBALIZE ANYTHING TO HER ABOUT BEING A FAGGOT. NOTHING.

You need to not respond. You need to give short vague answers. You need to pull away. Do not send a bitter text about doing other things than hanging out with her - that is overtly communicating. You need to make things COVERT. "Busy" "Guys night" "Hit you up later" etc.

Do this for the next 4-5 days and then turn the game up. If you see her, ****y smirk and aloof attitude the whole time like you don't give a f*ck. If she wants to hang out you tell her "We'll see if I can fit you into my schedule" If she asks what you're doing tell her "Dancing on tables" Start saying NO instead of YES. Start answering her questions indirectly. Reframe. Tease her. Accuse her of hitting on you and being a bad influence. Then tell her she should stay away from you because "I'm trouble." Get your game tite. She won't know wtf is going on. When her hamster finally spins off its wheel because her vag is tingling again and she can't figure out WTF happened to her AFC boyfriend she'll say "WTF is wrong with you or why are you acting weird?." You look her dead in the eye and tell her you've never felt better and then turn your attention to your bros, your phone, or whatever sloot you should be lining up.

You are the prize. Start acting like it.

Play it cool and aloof and she will crack. GAURANTEED and from there you better stop being a faggot and never look back.

On a side note: You need to be talking to other girls and filling your day with sh*t that don't involve her. Especially cause you haven't filled her vag with anything yet. Personally, me thinks you are wasting your prime time here.

 

[AttackFormation]

The whole her having sex with another guy, non factor. She's too uncomfortable in her own skin. She doesn't even like being half-naked let alone complete clothes off.

This kind of thing is such a common rationalization blue pill AFCs make, but you already know you've become one so it's fine. "She doesn't feel this way with me, so she must not be able to feel this at all". You think she's your special snowflake, but the right guy will make her feel comfortable sexually. She just doesn't feel that way with you, virgin or not virgin - because there are countless stories of basically the same thing. Stop making up all these excuses and rationalizations in your head.

 

[Greasy Pig]

You're fingering her, OP but are you at least getting loads off?
BJs, wristies etc? There's no way in hell this is a normal, healthy, ADULT relationship. Until a woman gives a man her body, I don't think she's really his.

 

[Stfoley23]

Not trying to flame you, but in my mind, you want to be given the answers you want to hear, rather than invite the solid feedback you've been given about walking away/ignoring her. I've read lots of posts like this on SS over the years. Yours is an attempt to walk the fine between "alpha" and AFC. It won't work. IMO she doesn't respect you know, and she never will, until you're willing to walk away from her without regard for her continued affection.

Stop with the half measures and either walk away or settle.

No you're right, it's all solid advice. And while anyone would prefer to hear what they want, I'm more taking all the advice and modifying it to try suit this particular relationship best. Because every relationship is different from the next, and I'm the one who knows most about mine.

Yeah I know I know, sounds ignorant and that I may not be listening. But hey what do I have to lose? By learning to do more my own thing and less dependent on her it could bring her back. Hell even if it doesn't, then if she does break up with me I won't be destroyed by it, I'll simply be able to tell her "hey your loss, do as you wish"

 

[Stfoley23]

You're fingering her, OP but are you at least getting loads off?
BJs, wristies etc? There's no way in hell this is a normal, healthy, ADULT relationship. Until a woman gives a man her body, I don't think she's really his.

She's grossed out by BJs, she said MAYBE a handjob at some point.
I'm telling you guys, she's not a sexual kind of girl. I think her mind just hasn't fully matured sexually yet. She's ready to have sex with me at this point she's said, she just has to be in the right mood. And she probably won't be in the right mood til I can be a man again

 

[Cerwin Vega]

The whole her having sex with another guy, non factor. She's too uncomfortable in her own skin. She doesn't even like being half-naked let alone complete clothes off. 100%, any guy she's with is gonna be looking at while til they get in her pants. She still let's me finger her though, find that kinda strange. If at all possible I'd like to save it and get myself back to how I was in the beginning of the relationship, less dependent on her and her doing most the chasing

Brother,

She's gonna fvck you up so hard you'll wish you've never ever met her in your life. I just met an old "friend" who told me my ex was flirting with him hardcore a week before she broke up with me. (some "friend" - he was about to ask her out) My gut was telling me this the whole time and I ignored it and only tried to rationalize that "she's not like that".

You've already lost her man. Under the right circumstances SHE WILL leave you for that junkie just because her stupid hormones told her to.

Be willing to lose her completely. Be willing to let go. Be willing to go through pain.
She will stick to you, but that's only a side-effect. You aren't doing it to get her back, you're doing it to become a better man.

Trust me man, I am walking this path as I write this post to you - it hurts so f**king much to lose her - physical pain ! There will be nights you won't be able to fall asleep, there will be days you'll burst into tears until your eyes are sore, your stomach will twist and heart will sink every time you hear her name or see her picture, you will throw up when you'll find out she's dating and someone else is now stuffing that "pure" organ which used to be yours. It happens man, we all go through it. It'll be a long journey, it will be hard as hell but the sooner you start, the sooner it will end.

 

[nismo-4]

If your gut is telling you that your princess is in another castle (hence her being cold and distant toward you), she is.

When a woman gets cold toward you, drop back. It's the beginning of the end. Go back out and find another chick.

Case closed.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

A good read for you.


How long ago did she say she was ready to have sex with you?

Wow, that IS my ex. On the outside she seems like the nicest, sweetest, most innocent girl, but once it's on, she'll do things you never done with anyone before. Let me say my butthole was always clean thanks to her cleaning abilities.
Sadly I didn't know her appetite is much bigger than I have ever imagined.

 

[Dgwizdal]

Wow, that IS my ex. On the outside she seems like the nicest, sweetest, most innocent girl, but once it's on, she'll do things you never done with anyone before. Let me say my butthole was always clean thanks to her cleaning abilities.
Sadly I didn't know her appetite is much bigger than I have ever imagined.

It wasn't her appetite for other buttholes. It was because the guy she left you for had JL Audio speakers.

 

[goldengoose]

Tonight she told me things like "I still love you and care about you a lot......I just don't know if I'm IN love anymore" and "I just never feel lovey anymore" and "I just feel blah about the relationship anymore".

OP, you are delusional if you think this is going to work. Having sex is the biggest expression of love. She won't have sex with you and tells you she isn't in love with you anymore. Do you think she is going to spread her legs for you now? When she isn't in love with you, she isn't going to have sex with you no matter how hard you try. You put in a long time with nothing to show for it. You want to be her first guy, that's why you are hanging on. You want to be rewarded for all your work. Her actions and words are telling you different. When she does give it up, it is going to be for a guy that she really wants. If you were going to be the guy, it would have happened when her love and interest was sky high. It sure won't be happening now after she told you this. She is looking for a way out of this. You aren't even having sex man, this isn't a real relationship. You are getting her off, what is she doing for you? Nothing. You are right, you are an AFC. Change your ways.


I suggest you start doing your own thing looking for other girls. She won't even suck your c0ck, what good is having her around? Don't say it's love because she isn't in love with you. You can't force love on another person. Stop rewarding her by fingering her and letting her know your business. She doesn't deserve to be fingered or to know what you're doing. She isn't in love with you, so treat her like a friend from now on.

The whole her having sex with another guy, non factor. She's too uncomfortable in her own skin. She doesn't even like being half-naked let alone complete clothes off. 100%, any guy she's with is gonna be looking at while til they get in her pants. She still let's me finger her though, find that kinda strange.

AFC thinking at it's best. Always assuming what the chick might be thinking. She is uncomfortable around you for this not to happen. Give her a guy she is crazy about and she will be naked in 2 seconds flat. It has to do with love and attraction. She admitted she doesn't have it for you.

Why is it strange that she lets you finger her? She wants to get off some way, she won't give you sex, so fingering is the next best thing in which you are dumb enough to do. You get her off and what does she do for you? Nothing. AFC's do that, they give without getting anything in return. Stop being a chump and feeling left unsatisfied.

She's grossed out by BJs, she said MAYBE a handjob at some point.

You think she is going to give you sex when she won't even touch your d1ck?
Quit being a chump, you're letting her dictate sex. Find a another girl who will do these things for you without making excuses. The least she could do is this, she won't even do that. She isn't going to be with you for very long.

I can give you a step by step guide on how to get her interest back full throttle

Full throttle? It was never full throttle to begin with haha

 

[Cerwin Vega]

It wasn't her appetite for other buttholes. It was because the guy she left you for had JL Audio speakers.

No speaker (owner) can thrust like this Cerwin Vega (fan).

 

[JoeMarron]

This sh!t got worse the more I read. OP you need to sit down and read the DJ Bible and every entry in the blog that Danger posted. Read all of it, right now, then read it over and over again until it sinks in. I'm not even going to give you any further advice because you're too lost for it to help. Sylvester nailed it. Your delusion is far too deep to be fixed with a few paragraphs of advice from random dudes on the internet.

AFC thinking at it's best. Always assuming what the chick might be thinking. She is uncomfortable around you for this not to happen. Give her a guy she is crazy about and she will be naked in 2 seconds flat. It has to do with love and attraction. She admitted she doesn't have it for you.

Why is it strange that she lets you finger her? She wants to get off some way, she won't give you sex, so fingering is the next best thing in which you are dumb enough to do. You get her off and what does she do for you? Nothing. AFC's do that, they give without getting anything in return. Stop being a chump and feeling left unsatisfied.

You think she is going to give you sex when she won't even touch your d1ck?
Quit being a chump, you're letting her dictate sex. Find a another girl who will do these things for you without making excuses. The least she could do is this, she won't even do that. She isn't going to be with you for very long.

Laughed my ass off at this. Dude....she won't even touch your d1ck. You're sitting there rewarding her by fingering her and she won't even touch your d1ck. You're jumping through all kinds of hoops, doing everything you can for this chick and she won't even touch your d1ck. You desperately need a mindset change now or you're going to have a very painful and miserable life with women. Read, do it now.

http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/

http://therationalmale.com/

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/

 

[Formerlyrossitheking]

....

 

[Formerlyrossitheking]

You can't convince her and regain her attraction with logic reasoning OP.

But you can certainly regain your masculinity and self belief with a silent 'fvck off' to her and never look back.

Plenty of other opportunities In life. It's all a lesson pal.

 

[Echoes]

Op,

You're so young...why are you getting hung up on this girl?

I don't mean to sound condescending. I'm sure you feel pretty grown up...I know I did when I was 20. But the fact is that you're still SO young. You don't see it now, but TRUST ME...you will when you're 44 like I am.

I look back on my life and say to myself, "why the **** was I so intent on having a deep connection with a girl when I was 20, rather than getting out there, meeting and banging as many girls as I possibly could in order to build the skills necessary for a real relationship when I'm older?"

On top of that, your girl is still a teenager! She doesn't know WTF she wants....****, I know girls in their 30's who still don't know what they want.

Don't give your power away so readily. You are young and you have so much ahead of you. Enjoy as many girls as you possibly can while you're still young enough to get the hottest youngest girls in the prime of their sexual attractiveness!

Man, what I would give to be in your shoes right now, knowing what I know....

I didn't have the internet when I was your age. There was no way for me to go online and try to figure out how to deal with the ladies. There was no community of dudes comparing notes and empowering themselves to try to get a leg up in the dating world. Either you had it or you didn't. I didn't.

You're young and should be looking at this as a GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY to have a ****ing blast while you still can, while developing the skills to deal with women so that when your future wife comes along (should you choose to go that route) you will be ready to make that relationship the best it can be, and keep her around instead of sneaking off to **** the pool boy.

GO GET LAID DAMMIT!!

 

[jay07]

Wanna know whats going to happen?

This is probably going to end, take that in (gulp). Now, when it does, two things will happen because you are worried about what this chick wants.

A) youre gonna blame yourself

And the most important part,

B) your gonna sit in your room and sulk in sadness until youre over her, and you will eventually get over her.

And there will be a point when you get over her, where youre not even upset at her anymore. YOU WILL BE PISSED @ YOURSELF!. WHY? Because at 20 years old you let a chick who is second guessing youre relationship stop you from living your life. All that time you tried to fix it was wasted on a relationship that will probably fail.

Go out with your buddies who are pulling tail when youre not around. Get some numbers, and when your girlfriend asks you why youre always out with them and why youre texting ashley, you tell her "if youre not gonna fvck me ill find someone who will"

And when she says "if all you want is sex then just leave" you get up and yell "SEEEE YAAAAA" And end it before she does.

She will be hitting you up to bang within 2 weeks. Then when you take her v card youll be back askin how to get rid of a stage 5 clinger. Peace.

 

[Echoes]

^^^^^^
Truth

 

[TARKUS]

She will be hitting you up to bang within 2 weeks. Then when you take her v card youll be back askin how to get rid of a stage 5 clinger. Peace.

For some reason I don't think he would mind that.

 

[Stfoley23]

UPDATE:

So I didn't really text her the entire day yesterday. Sent her maybe one or two messages in the afternoon before I went to work and she's used to talking to me all day everyday. I worked 5-11 and she went to a softball team pool party. After the party she came and surprise visited me at work. She sat down and talked to me for about 30 minutes. When she left she turned around and hugged me and said "I love you" which she hadn't said that to me in person without me saying it first in a couple weeks. Then she stayed up and waited for me to get home to talk to me before bed, I even told her she could just go to sleep but she said "nah I'll stay and wait for you". When I got home she texted me for a little saying things like "were you surprised to see me?", "I didn't wanna just go home after the party, I wanted to come visit you cuz I missed you" and "you look really good clean shaven, I caught myself staring at you a few times"

After just one day of barely texting her!

 

[Stfoley23]

Now it's 10:38am and she's texted me three times ready saying "babe wake up!" And "sweetie?" And what not. Since yesterday she's using a lot more terms of endearment. Now she's calling me trying to "wake me up". I think this is working. I also notice I'm not as obsessed by her, I don't constantly think about what she's doing and I have more desire to go out with my guys now too.

Crazy how fast girls can go from losing interest in you to clinging on to get your attention back after withdrawing a little bit from them! I just don't see why so many people said there's no hope?
I mean it's only been a day so I'm not getting my hope too far up yet, but look how the tables are starting to turn