I've asked, but no answer

[T|CK]

I know you guys say not to use text messaging to ask a girl out. That's my first mistake. Anyway, I've asked a girl out, and she replied with "what do you have in mind?" and I replied with an answer. I haven't received a reply from her. Since I haven't gotten an answer, what is the best course of action? Should I just let it go, ask her what she thinks about it, or wait and just tell her I've made other plans when (and if) she does reply? Keep in mind I see her fairly often, and I could always remind her later that she didn't reply.

I feel like that if she didn't have the decency to reply, that I shouldn't even waste anymore time because if I allow her not to have any decency towards me, I'm not having any decency towards myself. At the same time, I don't want to be reactive.

Any suggestions?

 

[Warrior74]

Go out and meet other women. Give it a week or two and hit her up again. Don't sweat it. If she doesn't follow up then...don't worry about it. Meet some new ones. Always keep moving forward. Like Biggie Smalls said:

I'm a pimp by blood, not relation
yall be chasin, I replace em!

 

[Igetit!]

I know you guys say not to use text messaging to ask a girl out. That's my first mistake. Anyway, I've asked a girl out, and she replied with "what do you have in mind?" and I replied with an answer.

Well,what was your reply to her? What did you have in mind for the two of you to do?

I haven't received a reply from her.

So how much time has passed by since this whole interaction between the two of you went down?

Should I just let it go, ask her what she thinks about it, or wait and just tell her I've made other plans when (and if) she does reply?

DEFINATELY DO NOT ask her what she thinks about it. If you do bring it up again,I'd say something like,"Hey,so what's up? You never answered my question".

I feel like that if she didn't have the decency to reply, that I shouldn't even waste anymore time because if I allow her not to have any decency towards me, I'm not having any decency towards myself. At the same time, I don't want to be reactive.
Any suggestions?

Yeah,I agree with you on this one. Just don't let it drag on too long. In other words,if you do talk to her again about this,and she pulls another stunt like she did the first time by not giving you an answer,then just forget it. If she starts saying things like,"maybe"or "I'll have to think about it",or my personal favorite,"I don't know",then just go on about your life. Don't let her being indecisive cause your dating life to come to a standstill.

 

[T|CK]

Well,what was your reply to her? What did you have in mind for the two of you to do?

I asked what she was doing for new years. She replied that she had no plans. I asked if she wanted to celebrate with me, and she ask what I had in mind. I said "buy a bunch of fireworks and blow 'em up, what else?"

So how much time has passed by since this whole interaction between the two of you went down?

This went down last night. The conversation ended when I didn't get a reply after I answered her question.

 

[T|CK]

Go out and meet other women. Give it a week or two and hit her up again. Don't sweat it. If she doesn't follow up then...don't worry about it. Meet some new ones. Always keep moving forward. Like Biggie Smalls said:

I'm a pimp by blood, not relation
yall be chasin, I replace em!

I think you're right, and it's something I've never tried. I'm one of those guys that burns bridges when things don't go my way, and I think that's very weak.

The only problem is that all I get are no's. If I get a yes, it's usually a woman I don't desire.

 

[Igetit!]

Well,what was your reply to her? What did you have in mind for the two of you to do?

I asked what she was doing for new years. She replied that she had no plans. I asked if she wanted to celebrate with me, and she ask what I had in mind. I said "buy a bunch of fireworks and blow 'em up, what else?"

You made an error here dude. You probably don't see it,but it's clear as day to me in your reply to her. This is crazy,because I used to do this ALL THE TIME. Alright,here's the deal:Women are emotional,right? I'm sure you already know this. They like fun,excitement,unpredictability. When you asked her what her plans were for New Years and she said she didn't have any,to me that meant she was at least open to what you had to suggest. What happened (imo) was that your response to her sounded boring. Read your response to her. Does that sound exciting?"...buy some fireworks and blow'em up,what else?". You see how boring that sounds? You have to stir up some type of emotion in women. You have to make them feel something. Believe it or not,you'd be better off making her feel angry than bored. Now blowing up fireworks is fun and is exciting. It is,but the way you said it to her didn't stir any emotions in her. When she ask what you had in mind,you should have said something like,"Nope,nope,I'm not going to tell you. All I have to say is that you'll have a "banging" good time,I promise you that". If you had said something like this in an energetic,upbeat tone,this would have stirred up her curiousity.

Look at what you said vs. my suggestion. Which do you think would have stirred up more emotions in her?

This went down last night.

I guess you can call her again if you want,but don't be surprised if she tells you that something came up,and now all of the sudden she has plans for New Years.

 

[T|CK]

It is,but the way you said it to her didn't stir any emotions in her. When she ask what you had in mind,you should have said something like,"Nope,nope,I'm not going to tell you. All I have to say is that you'll have a "banging" good time,I promise you that". If you had said something like this in an energetic,upbeat tone,this would have stirred up her curiousity.

The problem I had with doing that is that she's a devout Christian, and I didn't know how to handle her. If she was just a regular girl, I would have invited her to a beer drinking, fun time, party.

But now looking back to it all, I could never be myself around her anyway. No big deal.

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

You're an idiot. Cowards use text messages, and become easily disheartened when things don't go their way. Call her up. Keep it short. Confirm your plans.

Do it for no other reason than that you obviously need the practice.

 

[Igetit!]

What does her being christian have anything to do with my suggestion? There wasn't anything dirty or vulgar about it. When I said "banging good time",I wasn't referring to sex. I meant "banging" in the sense of the fireworks. You know,when they explode,they made a loud bang? You get it?
Anyway,you do see that her being christian doesn't negate the fact that she's still female,therefore,she still responses to her emotions. Like I said before,when you asked her what her plans were for New Years,she said she didn't have any,then SHE ASKED YOU what you had in mind. She asked you. And again I say,"she asked you". So there was an interest there,even though she's christian. It was only after you said the "buy fireworks and blow'em up,what else?" remark that she seemed to lose interest and not respond to you. You see that?

 

[verysuave]

personally i think text messaging should is best AFTER you call her for the first time EVER.. meaning the first time you call that number of hers

I know guys in the real world who fvcking text hot chicks to initiate conversations.. and these guys are your average joes who actually get laid from texting (ridicilous, yes in my opinion)

These guys on this board who tell you "COWARDS USE TEXT MESSAGES", they are telling this from their personal Point of view.. of what they think is right to them.. thats their personal belief.

The reason why Calling direct vs text messaging is because it just increases your chances. Don't mean you are a coward.

Thats like saying, "ALWAYS END the converstation first when talking to chicks" Does this mean, you are running away from a conversation like a coward?

 

[verysuave]

You made an error here dude. You probably don't see it,but it's clear as day to me in your reply to her. This is crazy,because I used to do this ALL THE TIME. Alright,here's the deal:Women are emotional,right? I'm sure you already know this. They like fun,excitement,unpredictability. When you asked her what her plans were for New Years and she said she didn't have any,to me that meant she was at least open to what you had to suggest. What happened (imo) was that your response to her sounded boring. Read your response to her. Does that sound exciting?"...buy some fireworks and blow'em up,what else?". You see how boring that sounds? You have to stir up some type of emotion in women. You have to make them feel something. Believe it or not,you'd be better off making her feel angry than bored. Now blowing up fireworks is fun and is exciting. It is,but the way you said it to her didn't stir any emotions in her. When she ask what you had in mind,you should have said something like,"Nope,nope,I'm not going to tell you. All I have to say is that you'll have a "banging" good time,I promise you that". If you had said something like this in an energetic,upbeat tone,this would have stirred up her curiousity.

Look at what you said vs. my suggestion. Which do you think would have stirred up more emotions in her?
I guess you can call her again if you want,but don't be surprised if she tells you that something came up,and now all of the sudden she has plans for New Years.

yeah i like this

 

[T|CK]

You're an idiot. Cowards use text messages, and become easily disheartened when things don't go their way. Call her up. Keep it short. Confirm your plans.

Do it for no other reason than that you obviously need the practice.

Talking down to people gets you no where in life. If you think so, good luck with that.

 

[T|CK]

Well, I texted her back around lunch time asking if she had decided anything about new years, and she replied that she thought it would be nice to hang out.

 

[verysuave]

its very easy to see through REAL posts vs immature posts. Keep it up, i hope u bang this chick good ^_~

 

[T|CK]

its very easy to see through REAL posts vs immature posts. Keep it up, i hope u bang this chick good ^_~

I actually got a smiley face text message tonight. That's cool...

 

[T|CK]

She called me up and asked if I had any wrapping paper and asked if I'd bring it over. So, I went over and hung out for a couple hours. There was no booty or sugar though, but a good bit of touching. She invited me over to her family's party tomorrow night, so we'll see how things progress.

 

[Igetit!]

She called me up and asked if I had any wrapping paper and asked if I'd bring it over. So, I went over and hung out for a couple hours. There was no booty or sugar though, but a good bit of touching. She invited me over to her family's party tomorrow night, so we'll see how things progress.

Cool man. Looks like things seem to be going well. My only concern is it seems like she's in control of everything. I mean originally you invited her to hang out with you,to which she never responded,now she has you coming over to her place with her family and hanging out in her environment/world/frame. Don't get me wrong,I'm glad you're sucessful in the two of you spending time together,and yes,definately go to the party tomorrow. It's just that whenever a woman is in control of a relationship, eventually it always seem to go bad for both the guy and the girl.

There's something that I just noticed that seems kind of interesting/odd to me: Now originally,when you asked this girl what her plans were for New Years,she said that she didn't have any,right? Well,where did this party come from? You see what I'm saying? My guess is that she already knew about this party when she asked you about your plans for New Years. I think she already had planned to go to this party,but she asked you what you were doing to see if you had anything line up that would be more exciting than her just staying at home with her family.
Then,when you said the "buy fireworks and blow'em up" line,then she decided to just stay home at the party. Maybe it means nothing,but it peak my interest. However...

Go to this party and enjoy yourself,but make sure you put yourself in the leadership role here. Or otherwise,sooner or later this girl unintentionally will lead the both of you into the ditch.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Well, I texted her back around lunch time asking if she had decided anything about new years, and she replied that she thought it would be nice to hang out.

You took a chance with the texting again. After she showed some interest in your proposition, you should have called her and taken the assertive role of making definite plans. Your text in itself was a little too vague and non-assertive.

Good job on saving this one. Things migh actually turn out better than they usually do when you don't take the lead with girls. With that being said, be prepared to follow intead of lead, to go along with her and her friends/family's plans, etc. and for her to change them at any moment, including an unexpecteldy change of plans that might not include you.

She's interested enough, so be fun, and amplify the attraction.

 

[T|CK]

You guys are absolutely right. She has taken the lead. Last night she texted me when I got home and ignored it just to keep her on her toes and guessing.

I had some parties I was invited to, but unfortunately drinking is involved. If she were a "regular" woman, it would have been easy to lead, but since I have no clue where to go and have clean and sober fun on New Years, I was at a loss.

Anyway, it seems like every time I get involved, it's always on the woman's terms and every relationship has consequently failed. What can I do to change this with the women in my future?

 

[Igetit!]

You guys are absolutely right. She has taken the lead.

This is true,but you can't blame her for this. Somebody has to lead in the relationship,and to be honest,the woman actually does want the guy to take the leadership role. But if he doesn't,then she'll do it because she doesn't have any choice. It falls into her lap by default.

Last night she texted me when I got home and ignored it just to keep her on her toes and guessing.

Things like this are pretty good to do from time to time. Like you said,it keeps her on her toes.

Anyway, it seems like every time I get involved, it's always on the woman's terms and every relationship has consequently failed. What can I do to change this with the women in my future?

Well,for one,you need to take control from the beginning. If you don't,the longer things go on with her in the driver's seat,the harder it will be for you to take back control.
This is actually a loaded question. I can give you a couple of things to do,but the problem is being a man isn't something you do or some "technique",it's what you are. Well anyway,here are a few things to get you started:

Number 1:ABOVE ALL ELSE,remember that women are EMOTIONAL. Keep this is mind. In fact,if you had been aware or had this in mind when she first asked you what you had planned for New Years,you probably wouldn't be in this situation right now. Just remember that women follow their feelings.

Number 2: Don't be afraid to say no. I repeat: Do not be afraid to tell her no sometimes. It shows her that you're confident,and aslo that you have boundries. Oh yeah,another thing:Unfortunately,every now and then you have to treat women like children(hence,the saying no thing). You have to be willing to dish out consequences for direspectful behavior from women. If you have a date planned for a certain time,like for 4:00pm,then you show up like 3:55,then only wait like 20 to 25 minutes,then leave. AND DON'T TRY TO CALL HER TO FIND OUT WHERE SHE'S AT,OR WHAT HAPPENED. You know why I say this? Because if you're still there waiting for her when she's 30 to 45 minutes late,all you're doing (by your actions) is teaching her that she can disrespect your time,and that you'll be there no matter what time she shows up. Then the next time you have a date,she show up ever later. You know what I believe? I believe if a woman can show up to her job everyday on time,then she can she up to a date that she agreed to,once or twice a week. If she can call her employer to let him know she's goiing to be late to work,then if she has a date with you and she's going to be late,she can call you instead of letting you show up at the meeting place and waiting not knowing what's going on.

3:When you set up a date,do it own your time and terms. In other words,then next time you ask her out,don't say,"So what are you doing on "so and so night? Instead of asking her when she's free,tell her when you're free. Something like,"I have to work on Friday,but I should be finished by 7:00,come to "so and so place" with me. You see how this works? You're setting up meetings on your schedule,therefore you're leading. Instead of her telling you when she's going to be free,and having you meet up with her on her timetable.

Like I said,this is a loaded question. These few suggestions are only the tip of the iceberg. If I were to go through everything in my head about you leading,I'd be here typing all day. Just start with these,but you'll need to impliment them as soon as possible. Because if you don't lead,she'll find someone who will.