It's lonely on the pedestal...

[Psycho`Sexual]

Hello everyone,


I'm not exactly sure how to start off this thread..

Either way, I'm sure you all know of a girl or two that is up on a pedestal. She seems to walk into a room and every guy tries to impress her, if for none other reason than just because its HER.

The kind of girl who can't walk past construction workers without being yelled or whistled at.

Well I've turned into a person like that. (not the rude construction worker, but the pedestaled prize)


I'm in High School, so the level of immaturity also adds to my isolation, but it seems like I can't go from class to class without being idolized.

I'm treated like Brad Pitt or something. I'll stand in the lunch line, or sit there doing my work, and all of a sudden I'll find myself surrounded by a group of giggling girls, asking me all sorts of silly things.

This gets old, fast.

However, on a more positive note, I've been able to experience what it's like for the girls who are constantly on a pedestal. We have a mutual understanding of each other.

This is why I've decided to make this thread, a lot of DJ tactics that apply to regular girls, dont apply to girls who are isolated on the pedestal.

We are just humans too, instead of being treated like an exhibit at a museum, I would much rather prefer someone who can see past my IMAGE, and really connect with my self.

 

[Trance]

So what's your problem again? Having a lot of girls around?

You dont care about these "silly" girls cause they are all pretty much the same, (and you should be banging them instead of talking to them). About women in a pedestal, you gotta offer them something diferent, cause they are so used to being aproached, that you gotta pull out something special.

 

[Psycho`Sexual]

For one thing, I dont want to "bang them." That's the whole point.


It's like ive got movie star status and everyone is just running around me bending over and saying "I'm not worthy."

The only girls I can sit next to, without being harrassed, ARE those women on the pedestal.

 

[xprezo]

How the fyck is this a bad thing if girls are drooling over you? If you are as hot as you say you are, then why don't you just chat with these "not so worthy" girls and make them your friends. They might know other people who could be more "bangable" or "worthy" of your approval . You say your getting harrassed for being "sooooo good looking," gimme a fyckin break. If anything, it's a blessing.

 

[ScrewIt]

I kind of understand how this dude feels.

it may not go as extreme as equally being a girl on the pedestal but it does have it's negatives.

for one thing, looks CAN be intimidating. even tho they may not say "you handsome hunk you, you intimidate me."
but i can just feel it in the air.

they think I'm taken, which im not.
and tehy're too afraid or intimidated by you to actually get to know you.

just think once in the past when you saw a HB9+ and you were intimidated by her confidence, atitude, and hot looks.
you go damn!! I bet she's already taken. OR "she's outta my league and she seems more important than me." I hear this complaint from hot girls all the time that some guys just wont really approach them or try to hook up with them, cause the whole time the guys think she's already taken. This goes for guys too.

sure most places you go, girls may check you out and some will give you eye contact. but looks will be intimidating, no matter how much confidence you try to exude, it will still affect you in some way.

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by Psycho`Sexual

We are just humans too, instead of being treated like an exhibit at a museum, I would much rather prefer someone who can see past my IMAGE, and really connect with my self.

Go make friends with guys, duh

Or if you mean in a romantic way, heck, go talk to the chicks who are on pedestals.

 

[MetalFortress]

And what about parents and siblings? They'll see you the same way no matter how much of a star you are elsewhere.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Originally posted by ScrewIt
I kind of understand how this dude feels.

it may not go as extreme as equally being a girl on the pedestal but it does have it's negatives.

for one thing, looks CAN be intimidating. even tho they may not say "you handsome hunk you, you intimidate me."
but i can just feel it in the air.

they think I'm taken, which im not.
and tehy're too afraid or intimidated by you to actually get to know you.

Yep and if you have confidence too you are very scary. It's actually not comfortable being stared down either always. If you are very good looking and confident it has alot of negative sides. The attention you get and give other girls make them believe you are taken etc.

 

[xprezo]

I agree with what your saying, but come on bro, for guys the PROS outweigh the CONS by 100:1.

If you are 99% that you make people (guys and girls) get intimidated JUST upon eye contact, then you pretty much have the world in your hands. You will be seen as one of the "elite males" (with respect to your outter appearance) in today's society. You know, the people who just walk in anywhere, be it a restaurant, grocery store, etc., and get MAD attention. People may seem uneasy around you, but it's only b/c you have the "outter package" which most people can only DREAM about having. To say that such a blessing can be viewed as harrassment by a girl I can see, but for a guy??? I'm still bewildered. You can pretty much go for ANY single girl, and your success is pretty much guaranteed even if your game is not that good b/c your an "elite male," and just being in your presence makes them feel important.

 

[ScrewIt]

I dont know why , but there was also another guy that told me having too much confidence can be scary sometimes.

I dont belive there is anyone out there who has such a thing as TOO Much confidence. i bet if u did you'd be a pretty ignorant person. and ppl would hate you or fear you cause you dont listen to reasoning and think everything you do is correct.

but im not saying I or anyone else on this board has that attitude.
but i feel that you should realize where to draw the line.

not ONLY girls wil lthink you're taken, other guys will also think you're getting action.

i was talking to this dude in my class. i asked him if he was going out w/anyone on campus. he says no he broke up w/his gf a while ago. then he asks me, i say "dont got a gf."
then all of a sudden he calls me a liar. yea he thought i was lying at first, but later he believed me. I didn't ask him WHY he thought i was lying, but i pretty much know the answer.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

You can be TOO confident actually. It can scare people. Girls can even get angry because you will state anything confidently and without flinching even though you are wrong.

Too much of confidence also gives you alot of power, your EC can turn girls into submission and what not. It has it's pros and cons, learn to deal with it.

 

[Psycho`Sexual]

It's not that I "intimidate" anyone, its just that I am seen as someone from a "higher league."

It's NOT about looks at all, are the most popular girls always the most beautiful? No.

At my old school, the girl every guy drooled after was a chubby blonde with lopsided boobs. It's not that I am so gorgeous, its that everyone THINKS I am the ****.


When I first transfered to THIS school, I used to DJ a lot more. Sometimes I would be about 80-90% of my full DJ-potential (100% would be me employing every possible technique I know, I've never had to use more than half of what I know to get a specific girl, sometimes 70% in a really social environment).


But now, I am sitting there Idling at less than 20% and girls are blushing and stammering while trying to say a 'witty' remark to me.

And then, I give a one word response and they go on laughing for about a minute.

Now multiply this kind of airhead interaction by 5girls at once, and then by about 4times a day, and you see why I'm a bit annoyed.


PS- to prove its not my looks, here is a pic http://www.geocities.com/roundrobinjournal/haha001.jpg

[EDIT]: The link doesnt work when i click it, but it works when I type it in the URL address area on my browser...

 

[CLOONEY]

hahah, man this is funny. Well I say enjoy it while it lasts. Because once u finish highschool, all these little girly crushes will not be happening anymore. It will ocassionally, but not to this extreme. Have fun with it!!

 

[golf299]

relax... your self-proclaimed "movie star status" will soon fade, right about the time high school ends...

 

[Devestator]

Yeah, just enjoy it.

It might help some of us if you told us how you acheived your status without the help of looks (as you said). Is it something simple, like being a star athlete? HS popularity tends to be based on things like that.

Your image is everything and I'm glad you developed an effective persona. In social situations, there is nothing but image. I made the mistake of being real when I was your age. Suppress all your real feelings for the sake of social expediency. I'm working on a fake personality that, when completed, will be a work of art. A masterpiece of propaganda; the image of a perfect man.

Good luck with your "problem". Peace.

 

[Trapspringer]

Originally posted by golf299
relax... your self-proclaimed "movie star status" will soon fade, right about the time high school ends...

I agree.

When I first read his post, I thought "BS."
Then I remembered feeling this way during high school; definitely not to the point he decribes and I no where near got movie star status attention. I was shy instead and didn't identify with girls on a pedestal. All I wanted a nice homegrown girl until I got turned out in my senoir year by a couple of freaks and gradually became more attracted to freaks in general. Still like my nice girls though.

I even transfered to another school in my senoir year to another highschool to get a fresh start. My first day at my new school, a girl I had just met in my homeroom that morning, asked me if I wanted to have sex with her during our seventh hour class. She stated it very bluntly. I was in a relationship but that wasn't the reason I said no. I was scared as hell. She looked like some porn actress.


All of that attention went down significantly after graduating from HS. It was probably a fifth of it by my time second year of college.
Fortunately, I became a lot more sociable afterwards. Women are much more challenging after HS and not as shallow.

 

[Julian]

Sh1t man im kind of an attention ***** so ive never really minded being fawned over. I like having my ego stroked, it gives me a power trip.

Just go with the flow, if any of these 15-16 year old hos are hot, then i say bang away my friend.

 

[One on One]

I hear ya bro. I feel that way because of my looks. It's like when I go to the club, I get a lot of girls checking me out so it's a lot of pressure to make a move. I stand by the dancefloor and usually within a minute at least one girl has ventured over to where I am and she's shaking her ass at me. Sometimes I move in, sometimes I don't. It gets annoying because sometimes I'm just not in the mood, yet it's right there in front of me. To make it worse, my buddy notices this and gets on my case for not making a move.

I try my best not to give off an arrogant vibe, but I think I do because of how I look. I dress well and I'm a clean cut, good-looking guy. If I walk in somewhere, I have gotten in the habit of avoiding eye contact because I just assume girls are checking me out. When I do make eye contact with people, often they are intimidated so I try to avoid it.

I made another post about this a while ago and I still haven't figured it out. It's tough to approach girls because I feel that she'll think, "oh, so he thinks he's this hot shot who can get any girl he wants whenever he wants, ill show him!"

 

[jakethasnake]

I think that for a handsome or even just 'well put together' guy to not intimidate and alienate 'mere mortals', he has to make sure to be gregarious and easy-going/relaxed in front of other people to not risk being alientated by others.


You see, looks/stature/accomplishments ARE THREATENING to people that don't quite have that same level of status. It is, that's a fact. So the only way to put people at ease is to show then that you don't think you're above them with some humor or smiles.


Unfortunately that's just the way it seems - if you really are all that and want to be liked by most, you have to go out of your way to comfort those around you, who would otherwise be threatened if you didn't at least pretend to have a personal interest in them.



In a nutshell: charisma. Charisma is the ability to put EVERYONE around you at ease, no matter how big or small.

 

[pharoh]

Originally posted by One on One
I hear ya bro. I feel that way because of my looks. It's like when I go to the club, I get a lot of girls checking me out so it's a lot of pressure to make a move. I stand by the dancefloor and usually within a minute at least one girl has ventured over to where I am and she's shaking her ass at me. Sometimes I move in, sometimes I don't. It gets annoying because sometimes I'm just not in the mood, yet it's right there in front of me. To make it worse, my buddy notices this and gets on my case for not making a move.

I try my best not to give off an arrogant vibe, but I think I do because of how I look. I dress well and I'm a clean cut, good-looking guy. If I walk in somewhere, I have gotten in the habit of avoiding eye contact because I just assume girls are checking me out. When I do make eye contact with people, often they are intimidated so I try to avoid it.

I made another post about this a while ago and I still haven't figured it out. It's tough to approach girls because I feel that she'll think, "oh, so he thinks he's this hot shot who can get any girl he wants whenever he wants, ill show him!"

Hey, I can understand where you're coming from. Do you have a link to the post you mention?

You mentioned that you avoid eye contact with people cause you intimidate them. How do you handle situations like passing by someone on the sidewalk or hallways? You just walk by them looking down?