It's like I'm giving her an interview! Help!

[tapout632]

I spotted a hot babe at the mall outside and I approached here, here is how it went:

Me: Hello
<Hello>
Me: How are you doing today?
<im doing good how are you>
Me: Can I ask you a crazy question?
Me: What's your name is my first crazy question
<Allison>
Me: Allison? I'm Kyle, nice to meet you.
Me: Shoppin? What'd you get.
<Yes I am, I got a Pair of shorts and a top>
Me: Oh.........::trying to think what to say to keep the conversation going):: Why aren't you workin?
<It's my day off, I'm getting ready to go to that store>
Me: Ah.. Doin some more shoppin'?
<Nods>
Me: I gotcha...



From there it's like I ran out of things to say, this felt like I was talking to her for a lifetime and then I was clueless!!

What am I supposed to do next? After a conversation like I had? I think I could've gotten this girl but I blew it because I didn't know what to say next. It just felt like I was just going to keep interviewing her and asking her tons of questions and it never would've ended. Any help I would appreciate.

 

[t00dumb]

quickly anaylze what she said and pull a joke out of it! usually the joke breaks the ice. or go by the mood you're feeling from her. i think women can go on and on talking about their mood.

 

[Seeph]

first of all dont say "i have a crazy question" that is saying to her you dont have much confidence and you are getting her ready for some stupid B.S.
Instead it should have gone something like this...

You: Hi, whats your name?
Girl: Allison
You: Im Kyle, its nice to meet you.
You: So what do you do?
Girl: blah blah
You: I see, shoppn on your free time i guess..
Girl: blah blah
You: Well how about you give me your number and you and I will go do something another time...

short and sweet.

 

[alphawolfx]

You said it yourself... to many questions

have some statements or some stories to entertain her with...

if you find a topic she likes, stick on it like flies on s.hit

for example

Me: Hey, you look interesting. What's your name?
<My name's HB. Why do I look interesting?>
Me: That's exactly what I cam over here to find out, HB. So what are you doing?
<Shoping, I got a Pair of shorts and a top>
NOW YOU STICK ON THAT FOR A LITTLE BIT, TRY TO FIND SOMETHING SHE ENJOYS
Me: Really from what store?
<JCPenny>
Me: You shop there a lot?
<Um, no not really>
UH OH IT"S DYING OUT
Me: Well, you look like you have a good fashion sense, where do you normally like to shop?
AT THIS POINT SHE EITHER STARTS TALKING TO YOU OR TRIES TO LEAVE WITH A LAME EXCUSE, depending on HOW you approached, among other things.

Keep trying this until it works.

 

[Agressor]

Originally posted by alphawolfx
You said it yourself... to many questions

have some statements or some stories to entertain her with...

if you find a topic she likes, stick on it like flies on s.hit

for example

Me: Hey, you look interesting. What's your name?
<My name's HB. Why do I look interesting?>
Me: That's exactly what I cam over here to find out, HB. So what are you doing?
<Shoping, I got a Pair of shorts and a top>
NOW YOU STICK ON THAT FOR A LITTLE BIT, TRY TO FIND SOMETHING SHE ENJOYS
Me: Really from what store?
<JCPenny>
Me: You shop there a lot?
<Um, no not really>
UH OH IT"S DYING OUT
Me: Well, you look like you have a good fashion sense, where do you normally like to shop?
AT THIS POINT SHE EITHER STARTS TALKING TO YOU OR TRIES TO LEAVE WITH A LAME EXCUSE, depending on HOW you approached, among other things.

Keep trying this until it works.

sounds good but instead of asking what shes doing and talking about fashion like a queer, you could ask her what she does which can move towards more interesting topics that she obviously will be passionate about

 

[alphawolfx]

yea, that too

 

[t00dumb]

yeah i like that thought, you know that she's shopping and of course women love shopping! ask her what she like to do besides shopping? and her response can open up many ways to talk about what she likes.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

You need to enter that approach style with questions that will give a long,elaborate answer.Then switch it up from there.

It's proper to take your time answering the same questions.

It takes a while.

Then slowly break the ice.

Don't ask for names till you aks for her number..Use "excuse me" rather than "hi" if you use that approach style.

 

[Desdinova]

Me: Shoppin? What'd you get.
<Yes I am, I got a Pair of shorts and a top>

I would have inserted one more word in your question here:

Me: Shopping? What'd you get me?
(laughing), I got you a pair of pink shorts and a baby blue top
Me: And you didn't get me some panties to go with it?

The conversation would continue to build around humor. Excellent rapport would be developed, and she'd quickly become comfortable talking to you.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by tapout632
I spotted a hot babe at the mall outside and I approached here, here is how it went:

Me: Hello
<Hello>
Me: How are you doing today?
<im doing good how are you>
Me: Can I ask you a crazy question?
Me: What's your name is my first crazy question
<Allison>
Me: Allison? I'm Kyle, nice to meet you.
Me: Shoppin? What'd you get.
<Yes I am, I got a Pair of shorts and a top>
Me: Oh.........::trying to think what to say to keep the conversation going):: Why aren't you workin?
<It's my day off, I'm getting ready to go to that store>
Me: Ah.. Doin some more shoppin'?
<Nods>
Me: I gotcha...

You: So...Allison...have you ever thought about Heaven?
<Huh?>
You: Have you ever considered your personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ?
<Uhh....I gotta go.>

Seriously...playing 20 questions does not generate rapport. It makes it feel like you're trying to FORCE rapport to get something...and it's blatantly obvious. You can always tell when a stranger comes up to you and starts plugging away at you with questions and pretending to be interested in answers that they WANT something from you and they're trying to be sneaky about it.

What you SHOULD do...well that varies with the situation. But catch a thread and RUN with it. If you ask about her clothes, don't just wait for her answer and move on to the next thing, dig a little deeper:

"So, you like polka dots, huh?"
"Hey, my sister's birthday is coming up...I wonder if she would like that."
"That outfit reminds me of...launch into a story"
"I'm tryign to picture how you'd look in that...get her to try it on for you"

I won't lie to you, I haven't tried any of this sh!t, but if you're not really interested, she will pick up on it. If you're not interested in what she bought, don't ask about what she bought. Find somethign in common and talk about it.

If you just ask, "What did you buy?" and she says "a top and some shorts", then you go on to, "Where do you work?", it says instantly that you don't give two sh!ts about what she bought OR where she worked...you're trying to force rapport to get about to what you REALLY want.

In that case, you're better off just being direct and asking for her number. In any case, even if you DO initiate conversation, don't try to hide the fact that you're interested in her. You are not trying to find out about mundane details of her life...you are trying to find out more about her as a person, trying to see if you CAN hold a conversation with her, and most importantly, trying to determine if she is a romantic prospect. PROJECT that.

 

[alphawolfx]

f.uck, dammit, i'm going to a mall either today or tomorrow, i'll go sarget and then i'll let you know how the conversation went...

jeez

 

[Alpha Male]

Yeah please do. This is really a sticking point for me at the moment.

 

[gav]

observation is essential

observe your surroundings, spot something interesting, funny etc and talk about it, as if you were just talking to herself. the more input she gives into the conversation the more worthy she is of you

 

[ScrewIt]

A major problem i noticed is a consistent pattern.....

what is it?

YOU asked all Closed Ended questions!!!
which can be answered with a simple yes/no or a few words.

if you plan on getting the convo going smoothly use open ended questions -

 

[Royal Elite]

A quick lesson for you guys:
WOMEN DONT HAVE A SECRET SCRIPT THAT THEY EXPECT YOU TO KNOW THE LINES TOO!!!!!!

There are no rules brother just be honest. If you approached her you noticed something about her-complaint that ONE thing. There's is no difference in I love your eyes, to I love that scarf you have on. After take it to what old school people use to do "STATE YOUR INTENTIONS".

Hello thats a nice scarf (i love you hair style, eyes, shoes) whatever you noticed.
THank you
Your welcome-whats your name
Allison
Hi Allison my name is Royal elite.
Listen Allison I would love to get to know you better, so give me your number so we can go together in the near future.

SIMPLE
PS dont just ask for the number, let her know why you want it. For all she knows you can be a jerk who just like to call women a 1000 times all times of night.

 

[stalluproar]

Originally posted by Desdinova
I would have inserted one more word in your question here:

Me: Shopping? What'd you get me?
(laughing), I got you a pair of pink shorts and a baby blue top
Me: And you didn't get me some panties to go with it?

The conversation would continue to build around humor. Excellent rapport would be developed, and she'd quickly become comfortable talking to you.

I like this one

 

[Delta]

actually,

i'm under the impression that it's NOT so much about the guy's PERFORMANCE.

if she's INTO getting to know you, she'll bail you out.

if it ever becomes like pulling teeth, she's not into this for whatever reason.

anything past this point is trying to CONVINCE her.... and is that worth it?

cut and bail.

delta

 

[Broham]

Originally posted by gav
observation is essential

observe your surroundings, spot something interesting, funny etc and talk about it, as if you were just talking to herself. the more input she gives into the conversation the more worthy she is of you

I find this tactic very challenging. I can never pick out anything intruiging to discuss, especially at a mall........unless its xmas and Santa is there. We all know canned lines don't work either.

Can someone give some examples of things they've noticed that can be used for convo topics?

 

[tapout632]

Okay after speaking to a girl I will just close the conversation with "I would love to get to know you better, so give me your number so we can get together in the near future" sounds good and she probably would give the number up.

Would it be better to say "So GIVE me your number" or "How about you give me your number?" because when I say the "so give me your number" it sounds a little bit too demanding.

 

[KnightRyder]

Originally posted by Delta
actually,

i'm under the impression that it's NOT so much about the guy's PERFORMANCE.

if she's INTO getting to know you, she'll bail you out.

if it ever becomes like pulling teeth, she's not into this for whatever reason.

anything past this point is trying to CONVINCE her.... and is that worth it?

cut and bail.

delta

beautiful advice to the T. But you see, by him stopping pulling teeth would mean a nick to his ego.

ultimately there is a limit to which you can do you best to get her to open up without getting to the stage of "pulling teeth", mentioned :

1) built rapport, try to open her up with some humor, levity take it easy

2) ask open ended questions

3) find her topics of interest which shops ? etc.


If you do all these things and still it feels like you are prying ****ing teeth listen to delta boy above and cut the lights ( if you want to save your energy ) ,.. .it s not going to be a two way street and you can probably call her bad names whatever, but if she's already made up her mind, your convincing is probably going to support her conviction and maybe pull you further into enemy terrotory where you want to avoid at all costs. ( but if your there already , you can do what ever you want then right ? )

Originally posted by tapout632


Would it be better to say "So GIVE me your number" or "How about you give me your number?" because when I say the "so give me your number" it sounds a little bit too demanding.

If you demand it from her, She MOST LIKELY will not give it out to you, she has to feel like she;s the one in control giving it out to you. you can't make it seem like you are demainding.
Pimpologist said so beautifully, Just three sentences that are like harmony ;

It was nice talking to you , let me give you a call sometime , ( Flip the cell open) whats your number ?