It's been 6 months of celibacy. My Mentality.

[typical]

You're wasting your words here guys, you have to travel down this path in your own life to really understand where your coming from. The lazy people in life and on this forum won't/don't have a clue as to what you're trying to tell them.

Once you hit rock bottom (financially, emotionally ... both of them together) you see what the world really is like, only then can you really rise up and become a person of character.

People can read about this all they want but it will never hit them as anything but the babbling of some guy that "fu(ked up" and is now working his way towards a better future. They simply don't get it.

I've just gone 18 months without a g/f and not because I can't get a girl but because I hate having to "make ends meet". That constant nagging thought of what I used to have and what I know I can have again keeps me in the exact words of the last girl I dated "Distant and Cold" group.

The guy she knows she can't munipulate or control so she keeps wanting to go out of her way to change me but I'm too busy trying to claw my way out of this rut.

BTW Loved that "where have all the good men gone" explanation BB, well said mate

 

[Boilermaker]

he's a lot closer to the truth than a lot few guys, even here, want to believe.


the problem with most guys, even here.... just too god amn.... lol, nice. i WTF have any of these women done to you to go out of your way to give them all the benefit of the doubt and be so damn overly cautious with. I mean, in real life i"m not what you would call a jerk, or even heartless though my post may seem so, but a woman has to earn any type of feelings she has with me or else i'm goign to look out for number 1 in every last action i take.
as rollo points out often the guys are the romantics. we want to believe or you want to believe in this hall mark equqe **** that just doesn't e
the same way warrior is looking at these women, the women are looking like you are their long lost love and ****. the truth is at the beginning of any relationship, nothing is there, and in that case, yes she is a "utility". WTF can you do for me that is going to add value to my life. if you can't and any value to m life as it is you need to go. That's, exactly how women look at you.

I don't want to say be a jerk, b ut you need loosen up that tie and become a little bit more selfish and even more so honesty abut what you want out of a woman.

it's like the old saying that the AFC's real problem is that he tries to act like he is "above" the **** the DJ wants like he wants something more when in reality he wants the exact same thing, he just tries to go about it in a different, more feminist way, instead of being a man he tries to bond with the woman and ti's a turn off to women.

game, in a nutshell is just being brutally honest and not being afraid to live with the consequences either way. warrior is being 100% honest./ if you can't add value to my life as it is you need to go. you either respect it or you don't. it doesn't mean he hates women. doesn't mean he looks down on them. just means he doesn't have time for the BSE and you are either on board or you aren't.

so it's either the path of the AFC or the fierce utilitarian?

Well, I am neither.

 

[sodbuster]

Lets put it this way, if I was married, and my[ex] wife found I had money saved...would she want a bigger house or newer car? YES, would she b1tch about my investing the money in land,apartments that would pay off over time? Yes[and she's smarter than 99%...] SO, until I'm close to where I want to be with investments, I'm not going to get serious enough with women for them to think they have a say. May not have the time to date while working on a deal. Just the way it is....

 

[Warrior74]

Warrior women are not utilities if you have your own resources..

Props to you in your ambitions and recent client but your slightly misanthropic touch bothered me.

It's sad that it has to come to this, money/hot pvssy or connections, all for me otherwise you are out mentality.
Cheers,

Well, I don't have my own resources now do I?

misanthropic? I don't think it means what you think it means.

Misanthropy is generalized dislike, distrust, disgust, contempt or hatred of the human species or human nature. A misanthrope, or misanthropist is someone who holds such views or feelings. The word's origin is from Greek words μῖσος (misos, "hatred") and ἄνθρωπος (anthrōpos, "man, human being").

I don't hate anyone. I'm just doing what I have to do.

It's sad that it has to come to this, money/hot pvssy or connections, all for me otherwise you are out mentality.

Ah, but you see hot pvssy isn't even a part of the equation, hence the title. Listen, I have some female friends who are good people, but they can't do anything for me. All they want to do is to chat on the phone like girlfriends because they find me entertaining. I just don't have time for that. I've been at work since 8 am this morning and I'll be here till about 12. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate them, they are good people for the most part but at this point in life I have to sort me out. This goes for my boys as well. I find myself spending most of my time with clients and connections because I have to. I'd like to sit around on Saturday nights or Sunday evenings watching football and drinking whiskey, but I just can't afford to waste my time like that right now. Because you see they can afford to, I cannot if I want to get out of where I am right now. It's crunch time.

 

[Warrior74]

There's another angle that you may not have seen with this... A woman can be a cheerleader and a valuable support when you're feeling lost and worn out from fighting the battles that life can throw your way. This may sound cold, but I've used women for this very purpose. Once I'm back on my feet, I throw them away. You don't even need to fvck them, just spend a little time with them. If they're sexually interested in you, they can and WILL wait for sex.

I have one friend who is my constant cheerleader. She's an ex FB and she's married. But she calls me every day and tells me to keep fighting the fight. She is trying to connivence her neighbor who owns a very lucrative architecture firm to work with us. This is what I am talking about. I was there for her in her bad times and she's being there for me in mine. She's probably the only person I can really talk to about what's going on with me in real life. This is a woman I make time for, I'd never throw her away. She's the real deal when it comes to being a friend. She's my exception to the rule. If she wasn't married, I'd put her on the team today.

 

[guru1000]

To all the evolutionary sycophants, here's a good read for you: Biology--once again--succumbs to convictions. Warrior's not starving; he has higher aspirations. To him, being a "Warrior," in his own image, trumps p**sy.

My prediction, as prognosticated by his "iron will," in the next five years--he succeeds in ALL his aspirations, while all the Darwinian junkies will ponder how he arrived there, as loyalty to their inherent predilections proved fruitless.

 

[Kailex]

*ninja edit*
I still like coming here to read a few things and to post about game. But honestly, I see so much wasted time energy and potential worrying about women. From my POV it just isn't a luxury I can afford. As the rappers say, I need a down ass bytch, a ride or die bytch. A chick of flakes, she's not a down ass bytch. A chic who doesn't return phone calls, worthless to me. A chic who plays games, worthless. A chic with no money, worthless. A chick playing "gotta wait so many dates and pay my way also" completely worthless. I had a chick I wanted to bone for a while invite me up for the weekend this weekend. Turns out she lives with her mother now and wanted me to take her to dinner, get a hotel room and also take her to the club as she doesn't have a job now. Worthless. Told her I had to work. Which I will, working on my website and writing some emails and creating promotional materials.

Whatever happened to Charlie Baltimore?

Anyway. Warrior, long time no chat, my man.

I just had to quote this last piece, because I can relate to it.
You have no idea how in the last year, women have been the lowest of my priorities. My life comes first.

So I can completely relate.



BTW, I've learned that all of the women that ask "Where are all the good men" are usually the women that ****ed 20 assh0les along the way, I don't even worry about them anymore.
All I see is high quality women anymore, because I just ignore the code for the lower ones now.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

To all the evolutionary sycophants, here's a good read for you: Biology--once again--succumbs to convictions. Warrior's not starving; he has higher aspirations. To him, being a "Warrior," in his own image, trumps p**sy.

My prediction, as prognosticated by his "iron will," in the next five years--he succeeds in ALL his aspirations, while all the Darwinian junkies will ponder how he arrived there, as loyalty to their inherent predilections proved fruitless.

I can't agree more with these words.

Warrior -- stay true brother.

You are the steaming ship. Don't let the leaches breach a hole in your vessel.

Make your own needs priority #1. As that journey continues and you meet your successes, you will find greater quality women than those who are looking for free rides.

I believe in you man!!!

 

[Buddha_Mind]

"Convictions" and impulses can exist at the same time. Just because he suppresses an impulse does not mean it isn't there. Biology succumbs to convictions, sure - that should tell you something about which came first. If that makes me an "evolutionary sycophant" then fine. Organizing one's priorities does not disprove or discredit evolution. That's all I'll say about it; have the final word if you will sir.

I'm not sure he's trying to discredit evolution but more so trying to say a strong will may overpower say, his needs to go bang some slvt.

To not sacrifice long-term needs for short, momentary rewards.

 

[guru1000]

"Convictions" and impulses can exist at the same time. Just because he suppresses an impulse does not mean it isn't there. Biology succumbs to convictions, sure - that should tell you something about which came first. If that makes me an "evolutionary sycophant" then fine. Organizing one's priorities does not disprove or discredit evolution. That's all I'll say about it; have the final word if you will sir.

I have nothing against evolution: I love my testosterone, especially manipulating it to augment productivity; however, this is a different subject altogether. My preoccupation lies in allowing biology to control you rather then YOU controlling, and being responsible for, it. Any one can say, "Hey, I was just following my natural inclination." This is the herd mentality, as we ALL have the same biological inclinations, and following this ubiquitous thinking makes you common--not GREAT.

The conundrum, as I constantly allude to, is engendered by the all-too-common justifications of failure to one's biology, rather then to ONESELF, thus denying many the capacity to learn from their failures, readjust, and strive with an alternate modus operandi.

Entrepreneurs, as an example, succeed greatly not because they have done everything right; rather, they have done everything wrong, and anecdotally learn what actions not to repeat. The financially savvy understand that great success demands multiple antecedent failures. Here is where the Darwinian scapegoat falls short, as we are best to be responsible for, learn and metamorphose from our failings, rather than pass it to "influences" outside of our control.

So, to which side of the coin am I loyal? The side for which I will never fall into subordinating defeat, as I keep pushing with alternating "game plans"; this side is called my "will," and within the confines of its walls and deep chasms, biological deviations have no influence.

 

[Warrior74]

Update

It's been a rough week. Started off with my power getting turned off. Had to dip into the funds to keep it on. Starting working for my new employer as a freelancer at $50 an hour. I already have 5 hours of billing. Made a deal with a radio show for free ads in their show in exchange for helping them with their audio recording and setting up their podcast. We cut my radio spot on Thursday.

I raised my rates. Two of my regular customers came back and agreed to my new rate, I lost two clients due to the new rate. I cold called about 20 businesses this week for leads and failed on all of them. I talked to my cold calling/marketing mentor. He told me I should be calling 100 a day and expecting a close rate of 1-2%.

I've been a horny bastard and even ugly chics are looking good to me right now. I find myself flirting with just about every female I run across, I've gotten 2 numbers from average looking chic but I've only followed up with one as I've been busy.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Update

It's been a rough week. Started off with my power getting turned off. Had to dip into the funds to keep it on. Starting working for my new employer as a freelancer at $50 an hour. I already have 5 hours of billing. Made a deal with a radio show for free ads in their show in exchange for helping them with their audio recording and setting up their podcast. We cut my radio spot on Thursday.

I raised my rates. Two of my regular customers came back and agreed to my new rate, I lost two clients due to the new rate. I cold called about 20 businesses this week for leads and failed on all of them. I talked to my cold calling/marketing mentor. He told me I should be calling 100 a day and expecting a close rate of 1-2%.

I've been a horny bastard and even ugly chics are looking good to me right now. I find myself flirting with just about every female I run across, I've gotten 2 numbers from average looking chic but I've only followed up with one as I've been busy.

Dude hang in there. Cold calling is one of the hardest things to do. I know this from experience. What is your pitch? Do you feel confident in your approach on the phone? How about going door-to-door. I know you don't probably want to reveal too much of your business, but I wonder if there is some way you could target your demographic more and find a new approach.

Stay strong man--keep working to improve yourself--this is the only way!!!

Hang in there!!

Nothing wrong with enjoying some female attention! Just stay focused on YOUR serious goals!!!!

 

[Warrior74]

Just giving you guys an update.

Still dealing with clients, looks like I may have a full time job with the asian company. I may be able to start climbing out of the hole soon. January was a rough month but Feb is looking bright.

On the woman side. Here is something I've noticed. Lately I have been having all kinds of serious horniness going on. Like popping boners while talking to average looking girls and being unable to think about anything other than fvcking in the presence of beautiful women. I was trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. I lose 15 lbs and start becoming a damn uncontrollable horndog?

Nope. It hit me this morning when I woke up with painful jr. high style boner. I haven't looked at porn in about 3 months. I don't have magazines, I don't have any porn on my computer, all of my porn dvds are either broken or trashed (I have a kid and I don't keep that stuff in the house, the internet was good enough for that). I don't fap on a regular basis either. I wasn't intentionally on a no masturbation kick, I just fell into it, but man, it's had me revved up.

I've been reading Think and Grow Rich and I think I need to re-read the chapter on sexual transmutation. I need to channel this energy into making more money instead of wasting it chasing tail. I'm close to getting out of the hole, so I'm trying to stay focused.

 

[L B]

Thanks for reviving this thread. I needed this today. I have been very comfortable this last 3 years with my night job. It's like a long vacation with plenty of time to myself. For the first time in my life, I am stagnant. It's great for my health, but it's making me lazy. I having been struggling since Jan to figure something out.

Keep up the good work, Warrior.

Also, your losing weights and being healthy are what's giving you the boners. It's nature's way of saying, stay healthy.

 

[Warrior74]

Thanks for reviving this thread. I needed this today. I have been very comfortable this last 3 years with my night job. It's like a long vacation with plenty of time to myself. For the first time in my life, I am stagnant. It's great for my health, but it's making me lazy. I having been struggling since Jan to figure something out.

Keep up the good work, Warrior.

Also, your losing weights and being healthy are what's giving you the boners. It's nature's way of saying, stay healthy.

Maybe so. I know I've been flirting with chics nonstop. Kinda glad no women work in our office. I might be tempted.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Warrior,
Great to here how proactive you are,tremendously impressed with the Radio Station bit.....Your latest posts are classical....But as Guru says in his short but profound post,it really all boils down to priorities.....I think yours are in the right place.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Just giving you guys an update.

Still dealing with clients, looks like I may have a full time job with the asian company. I may be able to start climbing out of the hole soon. January was a rough month but Feb is looking bright.

On the woman side. Here is something I've noticed. Lately I have been having all kinds of serious horniness going on. Like popping boners while talking to average looking girls and being unable to think about anything other than fvcking in the presence of beautiful women. I was trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. I lose 15 lbs and start becoming a damn uncontrollable horndog?

Nope. It hit me this morning when I woke up with painful jr. high style boner. I haven't looked at porn in about 3 months. I don't have magazines, I don't have any porn on my computer, all of my porn dvds are either broken or trashed (I have a kid and I don't keep that stuff in the house, the internet was good enough for that). I don't fap on a regular basis either. I wasn't intentionally on a no masturbation kick, I just fell into it, but man, it's had me revved up.

I've been reading Think and Grow Rich and I think I need to re-read the chapter on sexual transmutation. I need to channel this energy into making more money instead of wasting it chasing tail. I'm close to getting out of the hole, so I'm trying to stay focused.

Keep going bro! You have made gains, it is just beginning! Don't stop now! Tail will be there for you when you are making more $ AND feeling better about your body!!!!

 

[hansol]

It's bizarre that this sort of conversation takes place here, but it's always really nice when I see posts from guys like Warrior and Backbreaker that either directly or indirectly deal with the issues of running your own business. Compound that with the fact that a lot of these guys are really intellectual and willing to share their experiences, and it makes for a heck of a sounding board.

I too run my own business, and I'm fortunate because the industry I'm in (accounting) lends itself to dealing directly with other self-employed types. And in the course of this, I'm going to echo what another poster said: guys who follow the self-employed path are a certain breed, and the experiences you get in the process cannot be explained to another person. It really is a case of you either "get it or you don't."

Everything you've brought up Warrior is a direct result of the pathway you've chosen. When you don't have the security of a 9-5 gig and guaranteed money coming in (whether you have a good day at the office or not), everything you do winds up having a purpose that is almost directly related to your own survival. When you are cut loose in that ocean, you realize how vicious it can be, and you don't have the resources and/or time to waste on frivolous things.

The thing to remember is that times are hardest for the first 3 years; if you can stay alive for that period, you'll probably be alright. Backbreaker had it right though; during that time period you become a hardened f*cker. Because if you aren't, you get eaten alive by the guys who are. It's where the whole "It's business, not personal" bit comes from. You may be the nicest guy in the world, but at the end of the day I have to eat, and if you don't have your business squared away I (and everyone else including your clients) will take advantage of that due to the fact that I enjoy eating.

Your personal life also starts to take on that mindset as well. We all know women are work; when you have security, you can afford to take your mind off the job in order to deal with the inherent female issues. When you're on your own, you can't afford that. Client's don't give a crap about your home life; they expect results. And if your spouse (I use the term out of convenience, don't interpret it the wrong way) is distracting you from producing the results, she will literally be taking food away from your table. So through all of this, you wind up having the "what can she do for me" mindset when it comes to a spouse (and unfortunately, to a lesser degree, your friends as well), purely due to the nature of your enterprise and the need for survival.

These things are extremely difficult for people "outside the circle" to understand. I was born into a self-employed environment, where my dad hasn't taken a paycheck from someone else for 40 years, and as he is mostly retired now, he most likely never will. So I'm used to the lifestyle and the quirks. However, my mum was not born into it, and even after living with a husband who has been on his own for 40 years, she still doesn't quite understand. So I guess my point is two-fold: (1) When you voice this "self-employed lifestyle" stuff, you'll have guys who either know exactly what you're talking about and guys who won't be able to relate at all; there is no grey area in this case. And (2) the "lifestyle" you find yourself leading right now is right where you should be given your circumstances.

 

[backbreaker]

in a world where everyone expects to be handed everything, it really is somewhat like a plight to manhood or one of the few left. make no mistake after 2-3 years of being self employed you will be every bit of a MAN in every sense of the word.

some people think i'm arrogant. i probably am lol. but you will have a confidence in yourself that women can sniff at the end of the day. because you actually have a real reason to be confident. you literally handled everything life could throw at you and you came out on top. women can smell that. I'm quite humble in real life as far as not thinking I'm the best at everything but I feel like i am a person people should want to be around

 

[Warrior74]

It's bizarre that this sort of conversation takes place here, but it's always really nice when I see posts from guys like Warrior and Backbreaker that either directly or indirectly deal with the issues of running your own business. Compound that with the fact that a lot of these guys are really intellectual and willing to share their experiences, and it makes for a heck of a sounding board.

I too run my own business, and I'm fortunate because the industry I'm in (accounting) lends itself to dealing directly with other self-employed types. And in the course of this, I'm going to echo what another poster said: guys who follow the self-employed path are a certain breed, and the experiences you get in the process cannot be explained to another person. It really is a case of you either "get it or you don't."

Everything you've brought up Warrior is a direct result of the pathway you've chosen. When you don't have the security of a 9-5 gig and guaranteed money coming in (whether you have a good day at the office or not), everything you do winds up having a purpose that is almost directly related to your own survival. When you are cut loose in that ocean, you realize how vicious it can be, and you don't have the resources and/or time to waste on frivolous things.

The thing to remember is that times are hardest for the first 3 years; if you can stay alive for that period, you'll probably be alright. Backbreaker had it right though; during that time period you become a hardened f*cker. Because if you aren't, you get eaten alive by the guys who are. It's where the whole "It's business, not personal" bit comes from. You may be the nicest guy in the world, but at the end of the day I have to eat, and if you don't have your business squared away I (and everyone else including your clients) will take advantage of that due to the fact that I enjoy eating.

Your personal life also starts to take on that mindset as well. We all know women are work; when you have security, you can afford to take your mind off the job in order to deal with the inherent female issues. When you're on your own, you can't afford that. Client's don't give a crap about your home life; they expect results. And if your spouse (I use the term out of convenience, don't interpret it the wrong way) is distracting you from producing the results, she will literally be taking food away from your table. So through all of this, you wind up having the "what can she do for me" mindset when it comes to a spouse (and unfortunately, to a lesser degree, your friends as well), purely due to the nature of your enterprise and the need for survival.

These things are extremely difficult for people "outside the circle" to understand. I was born into a self-employed environment, where my dad hasn't taken a paycheck from someone else for 40 years, and as he is mostly retired now, he most likely never will. So I'm used to the lifestyle and the quirks. However, my mum was not born into it, and even after living with a husband who has been on his own for 40 years, she still doesn't quite understand. So I guess my point is two-fold: (1) When you voice this "self-employed lifestyle" stuff, you'll have guys who either know exactly what you're talking about and guys who won't be able to relate at all; there is no grey area in this case. And (2) the "lifestyle" you find yourself leading right now is right where you should be given your circumstances.

Thanks for the insight. It's always great to hear how other people think and deal with this.


My asian client is loving my work and wants me to speak at their conference about designing graphics for international companies and being sensitive to how things are perceived by different cultures. The best part, he's paying me to come to the conference and to speak.

I did a radio interview yesterday promoting my company and I received a few phone calls and a couple of emails immediately after the show. I was nervous as hell but everyone said I did a great job. I did a grand in billing this week, got my phone turned back on, paid off a couple of late bills. Still in the hole though.

A friend of mine took me out for drinks afterwards. I ended up hitting on some chic who started crying about an ex boyfriend killing her cat and wanted me and my friend to beat him up when he came in the bar. Bailed on that. Ended up running into some other fellas and we all got ****faced. Total cost for me $15. Ran into a lot of girls I haven't seen in a while, got a lot of "call me" and "we miss partying with you". I was very tempted to call some of those club slvts up, but I'm trying to stay focused.

I've spent today working on my bookkeeping and taxes (I've learned my lesson, don't get behind on this stuff, its a nightmare to sort out later), and now I'm storyboarding a video for a client and then calling it a night. Tomorrow, prepping for two meetings in which I'm trying to sell web design, video marketing and social media marketing to two companies here in town.

I gained back 7lbs when I finally could afford food. I renewed my gym membership, I think I can spend 10 bucks a month to go work out. My neighbors were complaining about the noise. I found that a big group of my friends go to the same gym and they go every day, so I may start joining them in the afternoon.