It's amazing how deep BPD women can F you up.

[DreamAgain]

I just wanted to post this to find some solidarity with any BPD aftermath sufferers.

No matter how hot she is, I just want to warn you guys, do NOT get involved with these women. Do NOT get sucked in.

They will build up your ego only to destroy it later mercilessly. You will try not to get attached but you'll succumb to her beauty if you don't run away early enough. You'll probably think she's the most attractive girl you've ever met in your life.

I'm suffering heavily now due to this, and it's my own fault. I'm completely mind f*cked and can't comprehend how a person can go from so high to low against me with the flip of a switch. How literally every problem was my fault and that I'm the "crazy" one for accusing her of anything. I don't know how long it will take to recover but I'm doing my best to try and forget about her.

Here are the red flags I ignored (because she was hot as hell):

-Called her dad by his first name, never "dad", and disrespected him openly many times.
-Was habitually late, very disorganized with her schedule. A very unreliable person, making plans with her was like doing PhD math.
-Always flipped the script that it was my fault if there was a problem.
-Had many guy "friends" who she liked to mention from time to time (like I gave a single f*ck what these dudes were doing).
-Hot and Cold, a f*cking rollercoaster ride leaving me to question my sanity many times.

Just run. Do not stop to collect $200. Delete the number now and run away.

 

[Roober]

This should be titled "it's amazing how I LET a BPD women F me up"

Learn from it, build a bridge and get over it. Is your making threads, you still have oneitis. Work on that!

 

[DreamAgain]

This should be titled "it's amazing how I LET a BPD women F me up"

Learn from it, build a bridge and get over it. Is your making threads, you still have oneitis. Work on that!

It is my fault, I agree. She sucked me into her vortex, when I should have ran away much earlier.

 

[fastlife]

Let’s be honest, we were fvcked up a loooong time before we ever met these women. We just didn’t know it. Now you do; you know exactly the extent of the pain you’ve been carrying with you all this time; you know exactly what your insecurities are & the places you are weak.

What you do from here is on you. Now you know & that comes with a certain level of responsibility. Trust me, it’s not easy. I literally wanted to die. But you have access to so many resources and shared experience. You’re only a victim if you choose to be.

 

[sosousage]

thread title should be:
its amazing how people can f you up

and they can do it as much as you let them.

no need to study bpd. just separate toxic from pleasant and spend time with the latter

 

[Chev.Chelios]

and the more time you invest trying to make things work, the more they laugh at how much your trying and will degrade every good quality about yourself. and in the end they always get pounded by a dude thats neither more pathetic then you, or a physcotic loser that abuses/cheats on them hahaha

 

[skinnyguy]

A BPD can only manipulate you if you let her.

Why does she act that way? Cause guys let her. I guarantee she’s well behaved at her job. She turns on this act because she uses her looks as a weapon. BPD can always be kept in check.

 

[DreamAgain]

It isn't about letting her, it is about having the mental capacity to break out of the fog she puts you in.

It seems like you're very familiar with their tactics, I'm assuming you were in a relationship with one earlier.

What we are willing to tolerate just for physical attractiveness is absurd, and yet the cycle repeats. I'll admit, when I first met this one, I had no idea that such women existed, so I was easy prey.

 

[DreamAgain]

Whether or not she's "bpd" is moot.

You got played. It happens to all of us.

I had a date where the girl double-booked. This huge muscle-head shows up, and she says "that's my friend". The guy slams the chair down and turns his back to me. I'm like wtf is going on?

The look on her face is smirking and enjoying that she has put two guys in this position.

I heard a torero podcast recent where he showed up for a date to get punched in the face by a guy waiting there.

These things happen. You win some, you lose some. And sometimes you end up in weird situations with weird people.

All part of the game.

Calling people bpd and viewing yourself as a victim is not helpful. In fact the entire bpd thing is completely useless, and has no real application other than soothing arse-ache.

Mature way of dealing with it is having the humility to accept the L, and perspective to improve your game moving forward. Each girl is practice for the next.

Onwards and upwards.

I did, but it isn't so simple when you are in a relationship with one.

In the beginning she took such a keen enthusiasm to my interests I was amazed I found someone so "compatible".

I was amazed that she had such superlatives for me and was so sweet.

Of course she was extremely physically attractive. Perfect curves, very pretty.

I was amazed that everyday in her life was somehow "epic", and that she was either drowning in work or obligations, and that her professors were out to "get her".

Then the tear down afterwards of course, out of nowhere. When she knew she had me, so that it would cause the most and prolonged pain.

I'm just writing this so any fellow men out there in these situations realize this, and get out while they still can.

 

[btownbuck2012]

A BPD can only manipulate you if you let her.

Why does she act that way? Cause guys let her. I guarantee she’s well behaved at her job. She turns on this act because she uses her looks as a weapon. BPD can always be kept in check.

Completely wrong.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Getting caught up in a cluster b's trap is a nightmare. It's the closest thing to hell on earth a person can experience other than maybe having a loved one die or you yourself being terminally ill. Guys who downplay it simply haven't experienced it. OP - if you are strong enough to make it through this and take time to grieve what you went through you will come out on the other side with a new perspective on life. Hang in there. PM me if you want to talk when your thoughts get really dark. Just know that you can make it through this.

 

[QuadDeuces]

As a guy who has been involved with 2 diagnosed borderliners who initially got me on this forum totally emotionally wrecked I can say this.
A BPD cannot fck you up, only YOU YOURSELF can fck you up.

You were having expectations, You fell for someone who didn't want to bond with you, You had your ego bruised when she went on an XTC bender and had a threesome with 2 strangers (what my dear old girlfriend "did to me").

You have issues with yourself, an ego that's being bruised, dependent personality, maybe narcissistic traits yourself. Or maybe just lack of options.

Trust me, once you realise that you are not a victim, but actually the perpetrator of your own pain, you get over them.

 

[Trump]

Yes, there are some who, having merely experienced a poorly behaving woman, will just incorrectly label her bpd and never learn from their mistake of not walking away.

Shouldn’t they walk away in either case?

 

[DreamAgain]

Sure they should. Have you ever walked away from an addiction when you didn't think you were addicted?

Danger, how did you react to all the gaslighting? The constant projection of blame was unbelievable to me because no matter what I said, it was always my fault. It happened so many times that I almost started to believe it.

My turning point was when a good friend of mine told me to snap it out it and forcefully block/delete her, and he made sure I did it. Only after that was I able to slowly regain my senses.