It's a shame...

[Tictac]

Seems like you are bowing down to the false gods of the external.... I'll be happy when: [1] I get good with women and have this great woman;[2] I have a million in the bank[another common one];etc. With no realization of the fact that no matter where you go...there you are.

When you couldn't get a date, you never knew about the problems of relationships-nuts, she wants me to go to her cousins wedding,she wants a commitment,she wants to go to a romantic comedy and I want to see Rambo 10.

When you have a million in the bank: you study the market....because you read inflation is a problem,I need to invest. The market is up 4% -great made 40k.When it drops like 08 and 09-wow I lost 300K!

Life is yin and yang,good and bad in one package. Are you happier knowing about women or dreaming/hoping you could find one? sounds like you'd like to go back to ignorance. You aren't alone...read Proverbs. Solomon- a king with hundreds of wives and concubines,more money than Bill Gates ...and issues

This. ^^^^

There are many poster children for where many of us have arrived. My lead man (probably my age) is O.J. Simpson. A man that had it all insofar as things outside himself. Every goal he had ever set he met and exceeded, ususally wildly. The man was literally a god among us - came from nothing and excelled at everything he ever set his mind to.

Then comes the day when pursuing 'the external' (great perspective 'sodbuster') loses its meaning. Then what?

Men particularly define ourselves by what we do. But we are more. When you've got some or all of - the hot car, cool pad, great job, all the women you could ever want, there is still (and there will forever be) more out there, someone else has it and you may want it too. But it is all outside, external.

As told in every myth and every great novel or biography, this is the moment when you can either begin to grow or commence dissolving. But the tools that got us 'here' will not take us further. Another HB10 or hot car is not going to do it any more.

We cannot unlearn what delivered us here. And all of it was very likely worth it. We can look at all of it and work on deciding life's three most important questions 1) who we are, 2) how will we choose to live knowing what we know and 3) how do we relate to those around us.

Simple questions, tough answers. The questions are worth living with. The answers worth working for.

It takes a 'mature man' to even get here. Now for the hard work. We're not losing it, we're trying to (at last?) grow up.

 

[The_411]

It's a good thing that you are questioning things it means you are thinking and being aware and seeking out answers to life's questions. The problem that results is that you are often caught up in the existential debate which can be very depressing and can turn into a downward spiral. I don't think too many people read Sartre's works to get into a good mood.

What does this all mean? Simplify things ... if a woman makes you unhappy then there one of two conclusons to be drawn either you are unsatisifed or she's not the right chocie. Either way it means you need to work on you.

Women can be all that it's just that there are very few of them that will be all that for you and even if they are all that for you you have be all that for yourself.

That's the "grand revelation" all the gaming in the world won't help you if you can't get to a point that allows you to say I'm happy because whether I'm with someone or not I'm enjoying life and not worrying about my happiness being affected.

That's what it means when people talk about not being outcome dependent.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Maybe this is further proof that really you are a latent homosexual.

Just spent two days with a girl I've been seeing for a while. It was nice, we can be ourselves with each other, no games... Spending two days with someone and doing everything together is obviously too much for me: walking around the city, doing groceries, cooking dinner together, spending all night talking and drinking, going to bed, fvcking, cuddling, waking up together, taking a shower together, dressing up together, then doing groceries again and fixing some sh!t in her house. Just like we're a "couple" (yegh!) And a part of me likes it a lot, I like the intimacy, the sharing... But at the same time, it makes me sick to my stomach!

She dressed you up huh? Did you both wear matching panties?

Whaaa Whaa Whaa!

When are you going to quit whining and MAN up dude?

A DJ-MASTER knows what he wants. He doesn't let his GIRLY comb his hair....did she do this before or after you both talked about your feelings regarding your poor relationship with your mother?

When you're ready to address your latent sexuality, I'll be there to help you -- I've had friends who went Gay. You aren't alone Die Hard.

 

[hithard]

Maybe this is further proof that really you are a latent homosexual.



She dressed you up huh? Did you both wear matching panties?

Whaaa Whaa Whaa!

When are you going to quit whining and MAN up dude?

A DJ-MASTER knows what he wants. He doesn't let his GIRLY comb his hair....did she do this before or after you both talked about your feelings regarding your poor relationship with your mother?

When you're ready to address your latent sexuality, I'll be there to help you -- I've had friends who went Gay. You aren't alone Die Hard.

Lol three threads calling out gay cluster B, what gives?

 

[sodbuster]

Sean Stephenson has a website time2stand.com. He's a psychologist that deals with inner issues. He was born with osteogenesis imperfecta ... his bones are brittle and growth is stunted. 3' tall, broken 200 bones, totally disfigured. We are all a bunch of puzzies compared to him. Saw him speak live a couple months ago and recently bought his stuff[still going through it, so no advice on how well it works]