Long story, so bare with me. I dated a woman this spring and into the early summer. 20 years younger than me and while not a 10, most definitely cute and sexy. After being divorced for 3 years this was the first time I actually liked someone and felt feelings.
One of the things that we had in common was that neither of us wanted to get married again and despite her relatively young age, she had no interest in having a child. I already have 2 and had no plans to have more. It was perfect: a young woman who wanted sex without marriage or kids!
But then a shocker - she got cancer. It wasn't the first time she's had it and she was panicked - as were her doctors. She was put on radiation treatment and each time the prescribed period of time was over - the docs still found residual cancer and put her on more radiation. I stuck by her, was worried and couldn't wait for her to get the all clear. Plus the treatments and their aftermath put our sex life on hold. Nonetheless our connection grew and while I was careful to never use the L word (love not lesbian, that is) I really cared for her.
Finally, I got the call I'd hoped for. Her scans were clear. Why then I wondered did she not sound happier? Because the life threatening experience had made her re-evaluate her life. She wanted to get married again and maybe even have kids. And she'd spoken to an old male friend with whom she'd always fantacized about a relationship. They decided to pursue it.
Without anger I said goodbye. In the subsequent 2 months I called her only once just to make sure she was fine healthwise. I decided to move on and having read on this and other forums, decided the only chance of having a relationship with her again was no contact; let her miss me.
Time passed. I often wanted to call her but didn't. I dated other women but none of them interested me like she did. But still I'd moved on and not pined for her and that was progress. I assumed I wouldn;t hear from her again.
A couple of nights ago I got a brief email from her, stating that while I probably did not want to communicate with her again she had been thinking a lot about me and was wondering how I was. Amazing - it worked! Last night I called. While we danced around things and got a bit caught up on the last couple months, she admitted how much she missed me and I acknowledged the same. We're gonna get together in a few days.
I'm excited at the possibility to rekindle this relationship but think my emotions are so strong that I will screw it up. While I don't want to game her, as a middle aged AFC I know I need to maintain my frame but in this case don't even know what it is.
One of the things that we had in common was that neither of us wanted to get married again and despite her relatively young age, she had no interest in having a child. I already have 2 and had no plans to have more. It was perfect: a young woman who wanted sex without marriage or kids!
But then a shocker - she got cancer. It wasn't the first time she's had it and she was panicked - as were her doctors. She was put on radiation treatment and each time the prescribed period of time was over - the docs still found residual cancer and put her on more radiation. I stuck by her, was worried and couldn't wait for her to get the all clear. Plus the treatments and their aftermath put our sex life on hold. Nonetheless our connection grew and while I was careful to never use the L word (love not lesbian, that is) I really cared for her.
Finally, I got the call I'd hoped for. Her scans were clear. Why then I wondered did she not sound happier? Because the life threatening experience had made her re-evaluate her life. She wanted to get married again and maybe even have kids. And she'd spoken to an old male friend with whom she'd always fantacized about a relationship. They decided to pursue it.
Without anger I said goodbye. In the subsequent 2 months I called her only once just to make sure she was fine healthwise. I decided to move on and having read on this and other forums, decided the only chance of having a relationship with her again was no contact; let her miss me.
Time passed. I often wanted to call her but didn't. I dated other women but none of them interested me like she did. But still I'd moved on and not pined for her and that was progress. I assumed I wouldn;t hear from her again.
A couple of nights ago I got a brief email from her, stating that while I probably did not want to communicate with her again she had been thinking a lot about me and was wondering how I was. Amazing - it worked! Last night I called. While we danced around things and got a bit caught up on the last couple months, she admitted how much she missed me and I acknowledged the same. We're gonna get together in a few days.
I'm excited at the possibility to rekindle this relationship but think my emotions are so strong that I will screw it up. While I don't want to game her, as a middle aged AFC I know I need to maintain my frame but in this case don't even know what it is.