It’s Tuesday night. I’m bored and a little restless, so I throw on a jacket and walk across the street to the neighborhood bar to see if anything interesting is happening. The place is dead. There are no more than ten people in the house, and the majority of them appear to be 3 times my age. I sit down and order a glass of water.
There is, however, an extremely attractive girl sitting at the bar…….by herself.
Talk about convenient.
There are two guys at a table behind her who keep trying to talk to her, but she doesn’t appear to be very interested in whatever it is they have to say. Oh wait, I think she knows me.
“HEY!” She stumbles over and sits next to me. “How are you? It’s been so long!”
Wow. Can she make this any easier for me?
I’ve never seen her before in my life, but I don’t want to scare her off. “Who the f*ck are you?”
She’s cracking up.
Hmm. She’s acting drunker then she really is. Perfect!
When I tell her I’m just having water, she proceeds to buy me drink after drink after drink.
Well things just keep. getting. better.
Now we’re both drunk and having a blast. She's completely into me, laughing at everything I say, leaning in real close to talk to me. She's responding very well to my aggressive but still casual touching, and reciprocates it enthusiastically.
As we start to get more touchy feely, she starts dropping hints about it being late, but she isn’t tired. She doesn’t want to go home because her roommate’s boyfriend is there. She’s too drunk to drive, but doesn’t want to take a cab and leave her car overnight. She wishes she could hang out somewhere until she sobers up. Amused, I continue to play dumb as her hints become less and less subtle.
“Come on, we’re going to my place” I finally tell her.
“Great!” She says. “I need to close my tab first. Can you pick it up?”
You f*cking b*tch!
It’s perfectly clear now. All I have to do is pay for her 70 dollar bar tab and we’ll be humping like bunnies in no time, right? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I’m sure this sneaky stunt works for her almost every time. But I keep my composure, because after all, maybe I'm wrong about her.
“Sorry, honey. This one’s all you.”
She hands the bartender her card. “I think I’m just gonna go home.”
Maybe not.
There is, however, an extremely attractive girl sitting at the bar…….by herself.
Talk about convenient.
There are two guys at a table behind her who keep trying to talk to her, but she doesn’t appear to be very interested in whatever it is they have to say. Oh wait, I think she knows me.
“HEY!” She stumbles over and sits next to me. “How are you? It’s been so long!”
Wow. Can she make this any easier for me?
I’ve never seen her before in my life, but I don’t want to scare her off. “Who the f*ck are you?”
She’s cracking up.
Hmm. She’s acting drunker then she really is. Perfect!
When I tell her I’m just having water, she proceeds to buy me drink after drink after drink.
Well things just keep. getting. better.
Now we’re both drunk and having a blast. She's completely into me, laughing at everything I say, leaning in real close to talk to me. She's responding very well to my aggressive but still casual touching, and reciprocates it enthusiastically.
As we start to get more touchy feely, she starts dropping hints about it being late, but she isn’t tired. She doesn’t want to go home because her roommate’s boyfriend is there. She’s too drunk to drive, but doesn’t want to take a cab and leave her car overnight. She wishes she could hang out somewhere until she sobers up. Amused, I continue to play dumb as her hints become less and less subtle.
“Come on, we’re going to my place” I finally tell her.
“Great!” She says. “I need to close my tab first. Can you pick it up?”
You f*cking b*tch!
It’s perfectly clear now. All I have to do is pay for her 70 dollar bar tab and we’ll be humping like bunnies in no time, right? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I’m sure this sneaky stunt works for her almost every time. But I keep my composure, because after all, maybe I'm wrong about her.
“Sorry, honey. This one’s all you.”
She hands the bartender her card. “I think I’m just gonna go home.”
Maybe not.
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