Dark thought but I could get a vasectomy then just play dumb.
This isn't worth doing for a lot of reasons. If you want to play dumb, you could claim to be open to possibility of having children. If you haven't had a vasectomy, that's technically true. Then, if you get to your late 30s/early 40s and beyond are childless and are dating similarly aged women like most men, this isn't an issue anymore. If you're a 45 year old man who is childless and you start dating someone 40-43 who is childless, having children likely isn't going to be a major issue.
I think you are simply setting yourself up for failure with your wants. Not wanting kids is fine but you are basically left with table scraps then because most women want kids.
Your options to choose from are far lower than a man who wants kids or is at least open to them. You are basically stuck with career oriented women who don't want kids and those are the furthest thing from traditional women you can get.
This doesn't make much sense from a logic standpoint to me. You can't want "x" but then not want what makes up the biggest part of that.
He can run out the clock so to speak. Women who reach 40 and are childless aren't going to have kids. There are more and more of the women with the Millennials turning 40 now. It's still not a big segment of women. Most women on the verge of turning 40 have children. It's likely easier to find childless women 35-44 on swipe apps than in real life approaching, but swipe apps are a difficult venue for most men, even when pursuing 35-44 year old childless women. 35-44 year old childless women are still going to have hundreds of options in their swipe queues.
Traditional women are family oriented. Having babies is what a woman’s body is built for at the end of the day, and women who do not want kids are some variety of careerist or whack or both.
It not normal for a woman to eschew childbearing I don’t care who she is.
There are cases woman who had medical problems that didn't enable her to conceive. There are also cases of women who didn't have children because they never found a good relationship arrangement between 15-35 for having children, a scenario that's become more common with the Millennials. These are women that might have wanted children at some point in their lives but it didn't happen.
Most women who want children do find a way to have them. In relationships, most guys are thirsty so even if they are ambivalent about kids, they'll give in to the woman and have kids. Additionally, there's IVF and adoption for women with fertility changes. There have been some IVF babies in my social circle with women in their 30s.
Careerist, whack, or both is a good way of putting it. With childless women, whack only is better than careerist only, if the whack is manageable. It's difficult for a woman to get to 35, be childless, and not have some damage.
All you can do is go through life & keep an eye out for women who share your value system. From your content I’d wager your value system is to find a cool chick who isn’t so conservative as to be super religious and desirous of motherhood but has a conservatively trending value system and seeks leadership in a man.
My guess is you are going to have to give on your body count expectations to have any hope of finding what you want. You want someone who is fun & enjoyable to be around, not going to pester/pressure you about marriage, not going to wear you down over children, and not a religious zealot relative to you.
Those are going to be your women who have had a party phase followed by a realization that the party phase is unfulfilling and they then circle back to where they value something more than a good time.
Those women are not going to be boring. My suggestion would be that you accept that women who most closely meet your stated criteria are going to have a past of some sort. What you want is mental stability and a kind natured person who is after a good partnership/relationship.
Low body count isn't going to happen. That's a requirement that would need to be dropped. I think there are men like
@FlexpertHamilton who would want girlfriends but not want marriage and babies. There's a market of women for men with these attitudes, but they aren't low body count. I agree that they aren't going to be boring and that they will have a past. Is their "whack" manageable? The mental stability and kind natured person is important.
Most of dating people in one's 30s/40s is making concessions, for both men and women. It's possible to concede low body count and get someone childless and willing to do an extended relationship without playing house.
There are going to be challenges with finding women like this, both on swipe apps and with approaching strangers in person. Both are going to take massive amounts of time, and it gets worse for most men are they age with this.
