Interesting... I am dating a quite conservative and sheltered hardcore Christian girl (no sex before marriage, no moving in before marriage, pro-life, church every week, prayers every day etc) . Recently, Christianity became an issue in the relationship... for her.
Note: The last part of the paragraph might be the quick and useful information of my thread and advice seeking for you guys
She had family issues, dad issues, they are around 12 (siblings), they grew in a ''us'' versus the ''world'' and 2 of her sisters have become nun at 30, her friends are just her family, grew in poverty. Her uncle and aunt family are more ''like a normal middle-class family with good and well-paid professional job'' but also hardcore Christians. All of them are hardcore Christians.
My LTR: She has a stable and good professional job, she's submissive, traditional, love the 50's style of dressing, dancing, smartest women around and you can have great conversations, she's also cute looking (totally attractive) with a great body. Quite an improvement from all my previous LTR... every day I see her and every time we talk she fills me of joy and more love (finally a girl you can talk philosophy,science, religion, etc..) ... so I am happy of about my self-improvement and having her in my life
She had a hard life, she has issues, she is strong and always had to fight to make it. She's the only example of success in her family of a stable, committed, no where I am going, got a good job person. She's working hard to help all her siblings. Only admiration for her. She's stubborn, strong-willed, and can quite have some anger that she manages.
I see the importance of Christianity and Jesus... after 3 months of dating: She did mention how her parents were fine with her dating a ''non-believer'' but she came to tears mentioning ''I never thought I would date a non-Christian Von'' ... this weekend, she wanted me to go to a seminar about Christian theology and girls. My answer: ''no, got more important stuff to do, like studying for my business and don't need others to tell me how to handle US''
We never had 1 single fight in 7 months. Only 2 angry moments (the first one because she thought I was pushy about being physical) and the 2nd was this weekend: ''About how she is sad that I was not Christians, how are we going to raise our kids since she believes in this and that but not me, how she wants our house to be a house of prayer, how people are ****ed up since they lost the Church, kids to be raised Catholics and no-sex before Mariage, etc.. (she's a nurse... so she sees every day old people being abandoned by their family for being old and sick but also unproductive, etcc)''... what I saw from this episode from her: 1) how I am doing a good job at seducing her (I am serious about her) and 2) her feelings are getting bigger for me and she's becoming serious... 3) Some of her issues are blowing up as sh!ttest too. PS: Gotta mention, I am her first BF or first BF/GF among her and the siblings.
I calmed her down, reassured her, discussed (and the night ended well)... the next day I got a message about how an awesome weekend we had, we will build a future together with some help, and we have to find time to study together, have a good day etc..
I replied: Yes, we are building something and it must be on valid and respectful foundations. I will make it a good day and wish her the same. (Plus send me her dress size and that I sent her a funny salsa video)... since then NC (she works at night this week).
My issue is this: She's starting to feel crushed by my ''non-christian way'' which is a big asset in her life. Added that I am behaving in a way she was taught it wasn't a way of dating or screening for marriage and that she's also exposed this behaviour through my friends/clients/parents that are all non-believers typical people living happily, with the same partner for years and DECADES (with kids etc) in harmony (and they, of course, aren't married).. .thus only positive stuff from the non-believers... It's clashing with her upbringing (she can't believe other ways than the Catholic Truth can work and it's the first time she experiences it close). I know she's dating me cause 1) she around 30 (biological clock) 2) couldn't find a real christian 3) wanted to expand her horizons
Personally, I find believers like any religions (ANY) who are extreme to be really pushy in the promoting the Truth... quite disrespectful and hypocrite too because often they go to a total lack of ''respect'' for the non-believers (especially those open to it) and actually this ''total lack'' goes against their very own teaching.
I value her and her religion, respect her at all cost (I only need to know the relationship is progressing and going somewhere)... but I see how exposing her to the real world of dating and diversity. The fact: I am positive in her life yet so '''from a different world'' is making it difficult for her... while so many believers are experiencing ''pain'' or how her ways have yet to deliver ''good from the expectations'' from what she lived in her family, her extended family, etc..
She did mentions already expecting the worst in our relationship (fights etc...)
For me, I am open to her religion, her belief, but I expect to be respect in how I live it, how I do it, where I am going... she has everything I seek in a partner including the room for improvement. Glad to be with her, but I need someone who's serious, respectful, and with a common vision