Issue with Sister and friend of her daughters who she seems to be hitting on

[cordoncordon]

Ok I will try and keep this as short and sweet as possible. I am really at loss as to what to do.


Sister is 40 although still very good looking for her age. Married 15 years. 4 great kids. Husband and her make mid 6 figures income together. I like the bro in law a lot. Good guy and great father. Very normal, stable, all American family. Own a big house and also a big cottage on a lake.

My wife and I were visiting them over July 4. First time we had seen them in 3 years since they live across the country.

After a couple beers my sister shows me pics of a party she had for her daughter at the cottage. She had at least 20-25 pics of this kid, a friend of the daughters who LIKES THE DAUGHTER I guess. He is 16 or 17. Most were of him shirtless on the lake, posing, water skiing etc. I kept swiping pics and there were just more and more of them. I was like wtf???

She started talking about how wonderful he was. Great person. And the kicker....how hot he was and what a great body he has. My wife and I looked at each other and looked some more thinking........."this is awkward".

Finally her husband and her daughter told her to knock it off.

So fast forward to this week. The kid is moving away from my sisters city to play hockey. All week on facebook she has had pics of him and talking about how wonderful he is. At least 6 different times/posts. Then Friday night she threw a going away party for him. Just him. Although other friends of him and her daughter were invited, but he was the man of honor so to speak. Cake, presents, etc. My wife and I keep looking at each other with dumbfounded looks on our faces when we saw these pics.

Then today she wrote again on FB and talked about how wonderful he is. I finally texted her and said isn't this the kid that you said was so hot? She replied "he is a stud, everyone knows this". More dumbfounded looks appeared on my face and my wifes. I texted my bro about it and he noticed the same thing but didn't want to say anything. I told him about her saying he was so hot. He was stupified.

So my question is this. Should I just leave it alone? Mind my own business? Our family has always been close so I am torn. This is very bizarre behavior from her. Wondering if I should talk to her husband, my mom and dad, her...I don't know. I try and stay out of stuff like this but this is just weird.

Opinions are welcome.

 

[Ruleit]

If you keep your mouth shut she is going to bone this kid if she hasn't already -- and that is going to split up a family of 6.

If you open your mouth you're going stir trouble with your sister. If you think your bro-in-law can step up and put her in her place, you might save the family. But you will be the devil for a while.

Which is the better option?

 

[Hmm]

WTF lol...this is VERY weird behavior.

The type of behavior that only a mentally ill person would not be embarrassed to do.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Cordon,
Delicate situation.....Whatever you do will be seen as wrong in the future..Soo..Do nothing,but be prepared and ready to pick up the pieces...Life is rather like a Crucible in which given the right timing and chemicals,inevitable reactions will occur...nothing you can say or do will help!

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

If you keep your mouth shut she is going to bone this kid if she hasn't already -- and that is going to split up a family of 6.

If you open your mouth you're going stir trouble with your sister. If you think your bro-in-law can step up and put her in her place, you might save the family. But you will be the devil for a while.

Which is the better option?

My first thoughts.

My second: damn, lucky kid.

Maybe someone should point out how her behavior is coming across to everyone else. If she has some infatuation with him, the least she could do would be to pipe it down. Then take it from there.

Seems your brother in law just has his head in the sand? Maybe you should refer him over here! Haha

 

[zekko]

That is one of the weirdest stories I've ever heard, obviously very inappropriate behavior from your sister. Maybe the fact that he is moving away will save the situation here. LDRs seldom work, after all.

 

[( . )( . )]

Whatever it is it's definately not healthy .Hate to say it mate but this isn't even a case of "hypergamy gonna hypergamy", it's a teenage boy FFS, there is no ladder climbing with teenage boys, they are reserved only to tingle (and the tingles legitimacy is debatable) the more warped minded Western rot entrenched wall slamming yougogrrrls. At least if her boss was banging her there's still some semblance of hope (she's normal and just exercising her encouraged feral hypergamous instincts). This however is not that.

Personally I'd just say fvck it, cut bait and walk away from it. I'm not really close to any family members so I don't know if that might be easier said than done for you.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

On third thought, I'd probably mention something to her. Inform the rest of the "inner circle" of your intentions, get their thoughts, then say something to her. Then, when she thinks your over reacting and tries to get the others on her side, they'll back you up. If she is thinking about "taking advantage" of this kid, then the very LEAST she can do is not shout it out to the whole world. You'd think if she was trying to do something with him, that she'd be more secretive about it, but you hear cases like this of teachers banging their students, and for some reason those teachers don't seem like they're ever trying to hide it. So....

Say something, if she gets pissed, so be it. But really, she shouldn't. If she does, but realizes the error in her ways, then that's better then the other likely outcome.

If you don't say anything and goes ahead and bangs this kid, then you will regret not stepping in when that outcome may have been avoided. If you do say something and she still goes ahead with it, then it's all on her, you tried. Time to walk away.

 

[Alvafe]

well 2 things are around my head, is she hot? hot enough for a younger dude nail her? if so maybe the deal was already done. guess if oyu want to do anything do a 1vs1 with your sister and tell her or to stop to act like a teenager girl or flat out ask her are you banging him?

or do the easier way and do nothing

 

[Mr.Positive]

Cordon,

From what you posted, it sounds like your sister and brother in law are successful people in a healthy relationship. This does seem like a very odd situation, however there probably is something that you don't know about.

What I would suggest, is talking directly with your sister about it. Find out why she's giving this kid all this attention and being so public about it.

I seriously would doubt she's sleeping with the kid, that's statutory rape, he's under aged, he's just a kid. Perhaps this kid has self esteem issues and she's trying to help him. Maybe she thinks he's a great kid and is trying to get him out of his comfort zone, and encouraging other young women to date him.

There's got to be some logical reason for this strange behavior.

 

[cordoncordon]

It's bizarro world to me and I can only imagine the reaction I would be getting from people if I was telling my sister how sexy this 16 year old girl I knew was, how great her body was, and posting pics of her on my facebook with all kinds of glowing words about her. And oh throwing her a party.

I don't think anything has happened between them, but who knows. In the past he has expressed an interest in dating the daughter, who is 16, so he would come over occasionally to the house to hang out with her and the other kids. And this summer he worked for my sister on weekends for her business and he would go up to the cottage with them on occasion, so the opportunity certainly was there for something to happen. He is a good looking kid and a very good hockey player who is going away this fall to play for a traveling team. So I don't think self esteem is an issue for him.

What I just cannot understand is how A) my sister does not see that this is wrong and in fact she almost seems proud of the fact that she is so into him and B) that her husband doesn't put his foot down. I mean I saw the looks on his face when she was going on and on about the kid when my wife and I were there. He was not happy. And finally he said something. And he is no afc. Good looking guy. Makes great money. Good athlete. The ONLY possibility that I can see is there are rumors that he may have cheated on her in the past. Maybe this is her way of getting even? I don't know. Maybe she knows she can hold that over his head and he can't really say much.

I know the daughter really has no interest in the kid romantically. Probably because she sees what her mom is doing and is repulsed by it.

 

[sodbuster]

You need to tell her she's not 16 and needs to act her age. IF she keeps hitting on all the boys her daughter brings home, her daughter is going to date and marry a TROLL to keep her mom off her man. Seen it happen with my aunt.... BOTH daughters married LESS than they could have given their looks....

 

[Bible_Belt]

My favorite English teacher in high school was a 40ish milfish blonde. I found out years later that she was having sex with one of her students. They started when he was 14, and it continued all through his four years of high school. He was the son of one of her fellow English teachers. They would smoke weed and fvck at school during the day. They never did get caught.

 

[ChrisFloyd]

Stories like this make me realize why I like this place:

This is like a bar for dudes to chat sh!t, but it's more open in subjects than in real life.

 

[cordoncordon]

Ok you guy will find this funny because it is a prime example of everything we talk about on SS.

Just had a convo with the husband. He is well aware of what is going on and doubts anything is happening between them. He said he believes his wife, my sister, is talking up and posting about the kid on FB because she really wants her daughter to date the boy since the kid likes her daughter so much and my sisters family thinks so highly of the kid. I guess he is really nice, considerate, mature, etc etc. I guess he keeps asking her out, coming over to the house, etc. But get this. The husband says that the daughter does not like the kid at all because he is way too nice and instead likes this other kid who does not treat her nice! :rockon:

So even at the age of 16, girls still go after the bad boys haha.

Hope everyone remembers this!

 

[ChrisFloyd]

Ok you guy will find this funny because it is a prime example of everything we talk about on SS.

Just had a convo with the husband. He is well aware of what is going on and doubts anything is happening between them. He said he believes his wife, my sister, is talking up and posting about the kid on FB because she really wants her daughter to date the boy since the kid likes her daughter so much and my sisters family thinks so highly of the kid. I guess he is really nice, considerate, mature, etc etc. I guess he keeps asking her out, coming over to the house, etc. But get this. The husband says that the daughter does not like the kid at all because he is way too nice and instead likes this other kid who does not treat her nice! :rockon:

So even at the age of 16, girls still go after the bad boys haha.

Hope everyone remembers this!

"He said he believes", but he does not know. :nono:

Otherwise, he has to take the fact that his wifey is a pedophile wh0re. :moon:

Let me get this straight: Your 40-something sister wants to fvck a teen boy, and her husband cannot face that fact, so he has to find another reason for her behavior.

 

[cordoncordon]

"He said he believes", but he does not know. :nono:

Otherwise, he has to take the fact that his wifey is a pedophile wh0re. :moon:

Let me get this straight: Your 40-something sister wants to fvck a teen boy, and her husband cannot face that fact, so he has to find another reason for her behavior.

My brother in law is a sharp guy. High level exec at his company. No dummy. And his explanation fits with how my sister is. She is very VERY involved in her kids lives. Like OCD involved. And her and her oldest daughter have always been super close. So I could see how she would take it too far like this. And I know the kid has always been a family friend and is involved with her other kids with sports, the cottage, and working at my sisters business during the summer.

I told the husband if they like the kid that much and want their daughter to date him, first tell my sister to stop talking about and posting pics of him because no 16 year old girl likes their mom to be involved in their personal life, and also tell the kid to go no contact and to totally ignore the daughter. He said he would try that haha.

 

[Ruleit]

Just had a convo with the husband.

I'm glad you took this route.

 

[cordoncordon]

New twist in the drama. The husband must have told my sister that we talked because she texted me basically saying that her daughter already has a bf and she did not say those things to try and butter him up for her. And she was kinda upset with me. Whatever not a big deal. But that does tell me there may be more to this then first appears. I am really starting to think that she does have feelings for him and was using the excuse of "she was doing it for her daughter" to hide her inner feelings.

Hope I'm wrong and I doubt if anything ever happened but damn. I have a weird family.

I will stay out of this for now but if anything new comes up I will update.

 

[Ruleit]

But that does tell me there may be more to this then first appears. I am really starting to think that she does have feelings for him and was using the excuse of "she was doing it for her daughter" to hide her inner feelings.

Yup. Told you that you would be the devil for a while.

If you feel up to it you should give your sister "the talk". i.e.

Tell her to cut all the cougar sh!t and concentrate her efforts on improving her marriage before she flushes it down the toilet with her inappropriate behavior. Tell her that her infatuation with this kid is EXACTLY how affairs start and the "it just happened" BS is the next step forward.

I guarantee you this though: Your bro-in-law is being a bit short sighted in this. He needs to read up on emotional affairs, because this is what your sister is doing. In her mind she has screwed this kid every which way from here to Sunday.

38 to 40+ is a dangerous age for married women. Every guy should be on alert during this time and keep an eye on their wives ACTIONS. Your sister's actions are betraying her, never mind what sounds her moving lips make.