Isolating Asian girls?

[JonJuan]

Background Info:

There is a University near where I live that has a ton of Asian exchange students studying English. I come across new Japanese, Korean, and Taiwanese girls every day just by walking around my neighborhood. They all seem really excited to talk to me and eagerly give me their contact info. They usually do not have American phone numbers and I contact them through a smartphone app called LINE which apparently everyone in Asia uses. This limits me to texting with them, whereas I prefer talking on the phone to set up dates. They ALWAYS travel in packs. I have not come across a group of less than three yet.

My issue:

Whenever I try to text (hate doing it this way, but no choice) one of these girls to set up a date, they ask if they can invite their friends along. If I answer no and make clear it is a date between her and me, I either get an excuse or no response. If I say yes, then it turns into a group hangout instead of a date. I have only had one exception to this when the girl (Korean) had made plans with me but her group had made other plans. Out of obligation to our plans, she met with me alone, had a great time, and I kiss closed her. She had no problem meeting me alone after that and the second date had a happy ending. But other than luck getting rid of bothersome friends, I am at a loss on isolating these girls. I'm thinking it is a cultural thing because I find it pretty easy to isolate American women. It feels like mission impossible with these chicks. I think it is maybe a cultural thing. Am I moving too fast? I like a good challenge but am open to any ideas or experiences anyone else has had with isolating Asian (from Asian, mostly Japanese) women.

Sample Texting:

Me: Hi ____! It was nice meeting you I'm going to a festival this Saturday. Would you like to join me?

Her: Good evening JonJuan! Me too but, I was sorry... lol (Not sure what the sorry was about. Maybe she was saying it in advance for the pending rejection)

Her: Wow! What's festival? Can i invite UG1 and UG2? I want to go together (Her predicted response makes me cringe)

Me: I would like to go alone with you (Trying to make sure she knows this is a date, not a hangout)

Her: hum... I'm sorry, I don't think I will like festival

 

[CrispyG]

First of all, you have to realize that a lot of asian women, Japanese women in particular are eager to meet anybody who speaks english - so don't think for a minute that your positive early encounters are anything much to go by, other than the fact that it gives you a number.

Do you go to this University or are you literally just walking around the place and then meeting random girls? In which case I would say there's one of your problems right there, it's a little unnerving this random dude just approaching groups of asian girls, I can see that it would look really weird...just a thought. I'm not saying you shouldn't do any cold approaches but if you expect high success rates you might have trouble.

I've found that yes, they often travel in groups because they are in a new country, nervous, shy, whatever. So unless they're seeing you daily in class and having regular familiar and safe interactions with you where they see you're a fun classy guy to be around, you will have trouble.

Also keep in mind that at the end of the day, these women are women. If they want to meet you alone, they will...but again, unless you're in their class and having regular contact I doubt they will trust you enough to go on a one on one date (Unless they are really attracted to you and are willing to take the risk).

In general the advice is to avoid group situations - that goes without saying as you know. However in this case I wouldn't rule it out, personally I've had some good success this way especially with Japanese girls. If they like you, you'll know it, believe me. You may have to just hang out a couple of times as a group and get to know some people.

I don't know what it is, but there's juat a weird vibe from your post. Whenever I see a dude going around trying to hit on every asian girl who walks around campus I cringe because I've seen it 100 times before and it just screams loser and low value to me. Not saying that's true for you personally, but it just happens that most of the guys that have that little system going seem to have nothing else going for them socially. There is nothing wrong with hanging out as a group, bringing some of your friends over, being a relaxed cool guy that comes into contact with these girls, expanding your social circle. Could be the way to go. Not such a fan of this type of creeping.

I rarely ever set up 'dates', and have no problem hanging with new girls in a group(to clarify, as fun nights/days out - NOT as a date where she says 'can I bring my friend' thing), I find it does me more favours because I find I am more natural, more myself, the girls get to see how I am respected among my peers and they also get to see me in my most relaxed form where I am not trying to pick up women. As a result I've found this has given me an incredible amount of recent success. I joke around, I tease, I make everybody in the group laugh, other girls who know me will run into us, and the new girls respond to this, because it's just basic social value. If there's any interest whatsoever it can blow up in a huge way. Just a few random thoughts.

 

[VikingKing]

I dated a chinese girl, lived with her for two years, she was a more conservative one. Top priority you have to make her feel comfortable and safe, 2nd increase the contact a little more than you normally would with western girl at first, be a little bit beta and then cut that **** out. You dont have to be as much as a **** as you do to western women. But be wary of emotional **** tests.

make friends with an asian guy in the targets circle. This is very important, you have to be accepted into her circle. But once you pull away she is very likely to chase.

 

[JonJuan]

Hi CrispyG,

I go to a different University and I am NOT approaching them at their University (Might come off a bit creepy picking them up there since I don't attend). I usually come across them when walking to the bank, grocery store, riding the bus, etc. When I leave my place, there is about a 80% chance I will happen upon a group by just walking a couple blocks.

I will try taking it slower and do some of the group hangout stuff.

Thank you for the advise.

 

[JonJuan]

noobolgy,

I will do the group hangout thing and try becoming friends with the friends. Just think that may land me in the LGBF zone, but maybe different because of the different culture. I don't know if I can pull off the acting beta thing though...

 

[Wolfgang D]

To find a girl alone, go to the grocery store. People are more likely to do their grocery shopping alone. Then start talking to her when you both leave the store at the same time. If you know what direction she is likely to go back to her dorm, you can act as if you were going in the same direction and just want to have a relaxed conversation before you arrive.

Instead of getting her phone number, you can try getting her email with some pretext. If she is a foreign student there should be things in town that you want to give her information about, like a place with a great view, and you want to send a picture of the place in email, something like that. Then you are not hitting on her. You are just being friendly. Same as with text messages, you should not send emails too fast, you wait a while. Eventually you have some nice event you want to go to and you ask her to go with you. Still relaxed, just two friends hanging out, so she doesn't need to worry that you expect something more. Of course you both know it's a date. But both are saving face in case it doesn't lead anywhere. Which means she is more likely to say yes.