Is Tiger Woods a *good* husband/dad even though he cheated on his wife?

[Inquisitus]

Integrity is commitment, in other words, integrity is honoring your word. To do what you say, to mean what you say.

Commitment is giving your word, integrity is honouring it. There is a significant difference.

You made a commitment and you were willing to sacrifice X, Y, and Z because you feel it was quote 'equitable.' Now circumstances change, so should you now abandon honor and commitment and just walk away? The thing is, in any other area of your life, the answer is NO. For example, you take out a 30 year mortgage, because you had a nice job and could pay the interest. Now you lost your job and can't pay the interest, so you think it is ok to just walk away from the home and the mortgage? Of course not.

It's called bankruptcy. You pay a price but you can walk away.

Same thing with marriage. Yes life is a one-shot game, that's why you must be careful about the commitments you make. Sometimes you get screwed due to "Acts of God." That's life. Live with it and roll with the punches.

So would you stay in a marriage that both you and your partner both agree will not work for you? Should you subject your children to two unhappy people forced to co-exist in close proximity?

Tiger did wrong, he's paying the price, life goes on. I personally do not understand this underlying need to have a "clean" cut hero and role model. Admire Tiger for his golf game but why does his life off the course need to serve as a role model?

 

[IamMyownMan]

Trader-drop your social conservative tripe or go find a website where your views will fit in better.

Aren't you still a virgin? How do you know what you'll do when you find the love of your life and then a few years later want to try something new?

And FWIW-Jim Rome is and always has been a pencil-neck douchebag...Has he ever even played a sport?

Tiger's biggest mistake besides getting married was sending texts/letters and using his own phone...I'd think he has enough money to pay someone else to do that.

In the words of RT...Stop making your necessity a virtue.

 

[ElChoclo]

That would mean that a woman who has an extra helping of man meat is an unfit mother. But society doesn't see it that way.

 

[azanon]

"Is Tiger Woods a *good* husband/dad even though he cheated on his wife?"

He certainly could be. Some people, men especially, can quite effectively compartmentalize more than one relationship, be it physical or emotional.

I'd answer the question with a question: Can you have 2 or more sincere, nurtured friendships, where one friendship doesn't adversely affect the other? I would think the answer would be ... of course that's possible.

"Marriage" and its restrictions is a creation of society and culture. And everyone is going to define "good" different. At the end of the day, depends on who you asks, and even his kids and wife's opinion will just be an opinion. Remember, sometimes one's expectations are unreasonable, so you'd never ultimately know for sure even if you were to have all of their opinions.

I could say my parents did a horrible job, but if I were a successful man today, would I be in a concrete position to declare that?

Everyone has their own, custom set of rules that they play life by, so the most important thing to realize here is that the OP was asking for opinions, and anything that follows will be exactly that.

I do think he needs to at least get to the point in his life where he has no apologies. When you're fully mature, you basically have no regrets.

 

[azanon]

I have one more comment on this:

I believe it is pretty clear from what we've read that Tiger's other relationships seem to have been purely "physically" motivated.

I can only speak for myself, but it has been my observation that my need for sex doesn't differ very much from my need for sleep and eating. Like getting tired and hungry, sometimes I can't think straight or clearly until I "get off". Also like eating and sleeping, I can do it anywhere, and even by myself, and it does the job. Even before marriage, I could sleep with any woman I found attractive and even knowing her name was optional. Likewise, I'm equally inpersonable when it comes to where/what I eat, and where I sleep.

I have no doubt Erin feels the marriage is threatened and is considering leaving, because one of her expectations of the marriage was for him to be physically committed to her. But I also suspect Tiger never felt like there was a problem with the marriage because I "suspect" sex is no different for him than it is for most men.

Tiger is going to do what he has to do for his sponsors and because Erin requires it. Not because he personally needs it, per se. We men are built and designed to have multiple sex partners, and arbitrary cultural rules are going to be no match for that hardwired programming.

Tiger talked about the rules also apply to him. To be clear, he meant society's rules, as evidenced by his estranged wife and lost sponsors. Other than that, he's just fine I assure you. The "treatment" he's getting is a necessary evil to restore his relationship and hopefully the sponsors too.

 

[Reyaj]

I have one more comment on this:

I believe it is pretty clear from what we've read that Tiger's other relationships seem to have been purely "physically" motivated.

I can only speak for myself, but it has been my observation that my need for sex doesn't differ very much from my need for sleep and eating. Like getting tired and hungry, sometimes I can't think straight or clearly until I "get off". Also like eating and sleeping, I can do it anywhere, and even by myself, and it does the job. Even before marriage, I could sleep with any woman I found attractive and even knowing her name was optional. Likewise, I'm equally inpersonable when it comes to where/what I eat, and where I sleep.

I have no doubt Erin feels the marriage is threatened and is considering leaving, because one of her expectations of the marriage was for him to be physically committed to her. But I also suspect Tiger never felt like there was a problem with the marriage because I "suspect" sex is no different for him than it is for most men.

Tiger is going to do what he has to do for his sponsors and because Erin requires it. Not because he personally needs it, per se. We men are built and designed to have multiple sex partners, and arbitrary cultural rules are going to be no match for that hardwired programming.

Tiger talked about the rules also apply to him. To be clear, he meant society's rules, as evidenced by his estranged wife and lost sponsors. Other than that, he's just fine I assure you. The "treatment" he's getting is a necessary evil to restore his relationship and hopefully the sponsors too.

Excellent feedback! I agree. Plus men are able to seperate the physicality of sex from emotions.

 

[Trader]

Excellent feedback! I agree. Plus men are able to seperate the physicality of sex from emotions.

Probably true

Tiger is going to do what he has to do for his sponsors and because Erin requires it. Not because he personally needs it, per se. We men are built and designed to have multiple sex partners, and arbitrary cultural rules are going to be no match for that hardwired programming.

Staying sexually faithful to your wife is not an arbitrary culture rule. It is a contract that Tiger got into.

This is how to be a man 101, honor your contracts and your word. If you want the freedom to sexually cheat on your wife, then fine, discuss it with your fiancee before you get married and *modify* the traditional contract so to speak. If she is cool with you sleeping around (i.e. both parties agree) then move forward with the marriage. Simple as that.

Obviously guys are too weak to do that and be straight-up with it, so they resort to running around behind the wife's back. How girly.

Again, you don't have to sign on the dotted line for marriage, but if you do, you damn better know what you are getting yourself into - you can be divorced on the grounds of sexual infidelity.

This is contract law 101.

 

[speakeasy]

Do you believe that you can be a good husband if you cheat on your wife?

Ask the wife that was cheated on and let her decide if the guy is a good husband. Unless you are in an open or some sort of freaky relationship, you shouldn't be messing with other women on the side. You made that commitment and if you aren't going to take it seriously, then why get married? There are always exceptions though. If my wife of 20 years becomes paralyzed from the neck down and is in a wheel cheer the rest of her life, hey, I'm going to get some ass on the side. I think it would be understandable in such a case. Or let's say the guy stays in shape but wife let's herself go and the husband can no longer get it up for her. I honestly can't blame him if he goes out and gets some nookie. In Tiger's case though, his wife is a model so he doesn't have that excuse. He was just being gluttonous.

Can you be a good president, CEO, or sports coach, if you cheat on your wife?

Of course you can be a good president, ceo or coach. What does infidelity have to do with your ability to perform a job? Would you rather fly on a jet with an experienced pilot who cheats on his wife or a rookie fresh out of flight school that is loyal to his lady?

 

[azanon]

Staying sexually faithful to your wife is not an arbitrary culture rule. It is a contract that Tiger got into.

This is how to be a man 101, honor your contracts and your word. If you want the freedom to sexually cheat on your wife, then fine, discuss it with your fiancee before you get married and *modify* the traditional contract so to speak. If she is cool with you sleeping around (i.e. both parties agree) then move forward with the marriage. Simple as that.

Obviously guys are too weak to do that and be straight-up with it, so they resort to running around behind the wife's back. How girly.

Again, you don't have to sign on the dotted line for marriage, but if you do, you damn better know what you are getting yourself into - you can be divorced on the grounds of sexual infidelity.

This is contract law 101.

I can't express to you how delighted I am knowing that the world is full of people like you. One of my greatest sources of power don't come from me, rather from so many others who self-impose all sorts of restrictions on themselves.

And by the way, one doesn't need "sexual infidelity" to get a divorce. If you have no reason at all, you can state the infamous "irreconcilable (sp) differences" even if none at all exist and you're just tired of the other person.

Just generally speaking, I think always playing life by the rules is naive. This world was, is, and always will be dog-eat-dog. The sooner you realize that is the sooner you actually get a-hold of some tangible personal power.

And finally, don't post asking for opinions then turn around and poo-poo on someone when they do what you wanted them to do. If nothing else, it's rude.

 

[Trader]

I can't express to you how delighted I am knowing that the world is full of people like you. One of my greatest sources of power don't come from me, rather from so many others who self-impose all sorts of restrictions on themselves.

Self-imposed restrictions? Far from it.

These restrictions are mutually agreed upon by all parties who enter into the game. If you want to play the game, you have to play by the rules. Otherwise, don't play the game.

You seem pretty smug about yourself - you think you're so much smarter than the others: 'let others play by the rules, I'll just willfully violate them for personal expedience.

Hey you're free to do whatever the hell you want.

But to call yourself a man for doing so, is laughable.

And by the way, one doesn't need "sexual infidelity" to get a divorce. If you have no reason at all, you can state the infamous "irreconcilable (sp) differences" even if none at all exist and you're just tired of the other person.

I acknowledge that.

Just generally speaking, I think always playing life by the rules is naive. This world was, is, and always will be dog-eat-dog. The sooner you realize that is the sooner you actually get a-hold of some tangible personal power.

You can choose to live by the sword, but don't be surprised when you get massacred by the sword.

And finally, don't post asking for opinions then turn around and poo-poo on someone when they do what you wanted them to do. If nothing else, it's rude.

You're free to discuss with me, but if you can't handle a little heat, then get out of the kitchen.