Is this teasing or just being an ass/jerk?

[Sebastian0001]

This woman I've been dating put up a picture on social media. I kind of assumed she wanted some attention (don't most women on social media?) and she did look pretty in the picture. However, I told her that "I have never noticed how enormously big her ears were until I saw this picture. Are you dumbo the elephant (reference from the cartoon of the elephant with humongous ears)? Can you fly with them?" She then deleted the picture and put a rolling eyes emoji and a thinking emoji.

I kind of felt bad, especially because she deleted the picture and I know women can be sensitive. Should I have not said this? Or does this count as teasing? She knows that I think she's attractive because we have kissed and I've flirted and given her compliments too. However, I'm not sure if I should have made this above comment.

 

[jimwho]

Here's how I would proceed.. Becky, why did you take down that picture? It was adorable. Tell her if people tease
you and harass you playfully it means they like you. Stop giving her compliments and do not apologize, accept
For telling her you were kidding. And maybe work on your charm a tad Casanova.

 

[BadBoy89]

- This woman I've been dating put up a picture on social media.,
- I told her that "I have never noticed how enormously big her ears were until I saw this picture. Are you dumbo the elephant (reference from the cartoon of the elephant with humongous ears)? Can you fly with them?"
- She knows that I think she's attractive because we have kissed

How are you attracted to a girl with big ears?

 

[Striker_93]

Bruh, WTF is wrong with you?

 

[Mike32ct]

That was over the top. Basically insulted her.

 

[Mike32ct]

I don’t recommend negging to most guys. If you’re not naturally a sarcastic/teasing/ball buster type (who can pull it off effortlessly), it’s way too easy to overdo it and insult the chick. It typically fails and tends to be overdone when you are purposely TRYING to “knock her down a peg.”

If you must, focus on being playful instead.

 

[Barrister]

This woman I've been dating put up a picture on social media. I kind of assumed she wanted some attention (don't most women on social media?) and she did look pretty in the picture. However, I told her that "I have never noticed how enormously big her ears were until I saw this picture. Are you dumbo the elephant (reference from the cartoon of the elephant with humongous ears)? Can you fly with them?" She then deleted the picture and put a rolling eyes emoji and a thinking emoji.

I kind of felt bad, especially because she deleted the picture and I know women can be sensitive. Should I have not said this? Or does this count as teasing? She knows that I think she's attractive because we have kissed and I've flirted and given her compliments too. However, I'm not sure if I should have made this above comment.

One of the golden rules is to never insult a woman (even jokingly) on her actual physical appearance. Assuming you care about this woman in any way (plate, LTR prospect, or otherwise), this was a bad move on your part. Women are very insecure about their appearances. The hotter the woman, the more insecure she is about it. You can still potentially salvage this, but I don't envy the task.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Why did you insult her?

Where did this advice to insult women come from?

 

[Dr.Suave]

Its over for DumboCels.

Maybe if you were talking to her, either in persdon/phone/facetime with no one else listening, you could have pulled it off. But posting those words on social media for everyone to see was a bit much.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I’ve learned the hard way that teasing a woman about her looks, even in good fun, is s bad idea.

 

[Konada]

3 things to never tease a woman on:
1. Looks
2. Weight
3. Age

Burn it into your mind.

 

[2Rocky]

Last time I made that kind of gaff was when I was 9 years old and I met a kid on my little league baseball team. I couldn't remember his name and called him "Dogface". I learned that was not a good move socially....

SOCRATES’ TRIPLE FILTER TEST: THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!
In ancient Greece, Socrates (the famous philosopher) was visited by an acquaintance of his. Eager to share some juicy gossip, the man asked Socrates would he like to know the story he just heard about a friend of theirs. Socrates replied that before the man spoke, he needed to pass the “Triple Filter Test”.
SOCRATES’ TRIPLE FILTER TEST: HOW IT WORKS
The first filter, Socrates explained to his acquaintance, is truth.
“Have you made absolutely sure that what you were about to say is true?”
The man shook his head. “No, I actually just heard about it, and…” Socrates cut him off.
“You don’t know for certain that is true, then? Is what you want to say something good or kind?“
Again, the man should his head. “No! Actually. Just the opposite. You see...”
Socrates lifted his hand to stop the man speaking.
“So you are not certain that what do you want to say is true, and it isn’t good or kind. One filter still remains, though, so you may yet still tell me. That is usefulness or necessity. Is this information useful or necessary to me?”
A little defeated, the man replied, “No, not really.”
“Well, then,“ Socrates said, turning on his heel. “If what you want to say is neither true, nor good or kind, nor useful or necessary, please don’t say anything at all.”
Consider this. Before you answer a question or voice your opinion, ask yourself:

• Is it true?
• Is it good?
• Is it kind?
• Is it useful?
• Is it necessary?

If it passes these filters, speak up. If not, either find a tactful way to make it pass the test or better still, keep it to yourself.
Most people leave it at that and assume that the story is just about the information we spread.
What is the real truth behind it, however, is about the information we seek and create. Imagine how different the world would be if we only chose to seek and create information that was true, or good, or useful.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Last time I made that kind of gaff was when I was 9 years old and I met a kid on my little league baseball team. I couldn't remember his name and called him "Dogface". I learned that was not a good move socially....

Good advice. Doc Love’s filter was even simpler:

“Will saying this raise her interest level?”

If not, keep your mouth shut.

 

[Sebastian0001]

ok guys so EVERYONE is saying I effed up - can you tell me what to do now to fix this?!

I told her I was kidding and that she is good looking and big ears don't change and plus she can fly. She said haha silly.

 

[Sebastian0001]

Its over for DumboCels.

Maybe if you were talking to her, either in persdon/phone/facetime with no one else listening, you could have pulled it off. But posting those words on social media for everyone to see was a bit much.

it was a private DM

 

[Konada]

Being an Ass 100%, and not even in a good way. You’re in the cringe category here.

This is why you have to stop reading about tactics like “neg-ing” without understanding the female mind. You’re trying to use tactics without having any proper Game framework or understanding. You’re a chimp at a typewriter pushing buttons and hoping something works.

Your attempt at a flirtatious neg would have gone down like a burst balloon full of sh1t.

It’s needlessly mean, uncalibrated, autistic. You never criticise women for things they can’t change. You playfully rib them about stuff they can change.

What do you she can't change it?? Obviously she can get ear surgery!

 

[Alvafe]

I hope you are not dumb enough to have done this on her social media, if it was in person only you 2 you can write it off as teasing or just being annoying, writing that up will make her lose face and that will not be good for you

 

[Scars]

Cringy attempt at ****y + funny that backfired. You just come off looking like a d!ck.

 

[Sebastian0001]

you are very good at criticizing people and acting like you know everything without actually showing any shred of evidence that you actually do know anything. Yes I failed in the above but you could very well be failing out there too in different ways, otherwise why would u be here constantly criticizing people and posting a response to everyone when ppl tell you that ur responses are useless and unwanted?

Being an Ass 100%, and not even in a good way. You’re in the cringe category here.

This is why you have to stop reading about tactics like “neg-ing” without understanding the female mind. You’re trying to use tactics without having any proper Game framework or understanding. You’re a chimp at a typewriter pushing buttons and hoping something works.

Your attempt at a flirtatious neg would have gone down like a burst balloon full of sh1t.

It’s needlessly mean, uncalibrated, autistic. You never criticise women for things they can’t change. You playfully rib them about stuff they can change.

 

[mattinzane]

This woman I've been dating put up a picture on social media. I kind of assumed she wanted some attention (don't most women on social media?) and she did look pretty in the picture. However, I told her that "I have never noticed how enormously big her ears were until I saw this picture. Are you dumbo the elephant (reference from the cartoon of the elephant with humongous ears)? Can you fly with them?" She then deleted the picture and put a rolling eyes emoji and a thinking emoji.

If you are going to make a joke like this you need to do it in person, jokingly, playfully, when you are in bed and just teasing her. My ex wife had larger than normal feet for a woman and I used to tease her about it sometimes in bed and she would playfully hit me and we would laugh about it. The key here is it has to be a Private joke between you and her, so it is not insulting. And I would not do this with someone you just met or started having sex with, this is for when you know each other and sometimes tease each other in the privacy of your bedroom.