Is this some kind of red flag?

[Purpleheron]

This is a friend of mine who I've known for a long time(more than 10 years). We'd actually went on trips before but nothing happened. I found out that she was still single recently and kinda flirted with her to see her reaction. The response was kinda positive though we never get down to it.

So around few weeks back I suggested we do a road trip and the trip happened last week. On the first night as I expected we hooked up but after that in the day she kinda behaved differently. She was more aloof and didn't want to make eye contact much. My first question : Was she just being embarrassed or shy? Or was it a sign of something else.

Here comes the interesting part. The second night we got on to the kisses and all but she refused to go to the sex. Her hands would push my hands away when I wanted to pull her pants down. The funny thing is she went on to fondle my d### and helped me masturbate..and even blow me. What was actually happening?

After the trip, there was no contact. No messages from her. No thank you. No nothing. What could be in her mind? Or is she playing some games to fcuk my mind up? Thanks.

 

[SW15]

If hooked up means penis in vagina sex, be glad you had sex with her.

No contact is a strong enough signal.

Move on from her mentally. I think she's moving on from you.

Men with an abundance mentality will not think much of this but will focus on other women.

 

[Purpleheron]

If hooked up means penis in vagina sex, be glad you had sex with her.

No contact is a strong enough signal.

Move on from her mentally. I think she's moving on from you.

Men with an abundance mentality will not think much of this but will focus on other women.

Kinda agree with you. Moving on.

 

[New_Journey]

behaved differently

Could be:
- Sex was no good
- She perceived you were more into her than her into you (this could be)
- You became needy from the get go and that repulsed her (this could be also)

The funny thing is she went on to fondle my d### and helped me masturbate..and even blow me

I'm assuming she was stuck with you, so out of politeness, she prefered to give you a hand job, than having you d!ck inside of her,. I'm assuming you didn't come in her mouth, correct?

After the trip, there was no contact.

With all those signs, predictable

No thank you

Do you feel entitled for a thank you? Why does she have to thank you for?

Or is she playing some games to fcuk my mind up?

Nope, she just doesn't like you

 

[Purpleheron]

Could be:
- Sex was no good
- She perceived you were more into her than her into you (this could be)
- You became needy from the get go and that repulsed her (this could be also)


I'm assuming she was stuck with you, so out of politeness, she prefered to give you a hand job, than having you d!ck inside of her,. I'm assuming you didn't come in her mouth, correct?


With all those signs, predictable


Do you feel entitled for a thank you? Why does she have to thank you for?


Nope, she just doesn't like you

No. Didn't *** in her mouth. But I've slept with enough women to know that if they don't bother to fcuk, they won't bother using hand or mouth because it is a lot more work. Even many who are willing to fcuk are not willing to blow. I've done lots of road trips with girls. Most would send a polite thank you message for the planning and of course driving and all. And the fact that I paid for the trip. Well almost everyone I met would send a thank you message, even if it just a dinner and drop home kind of night. But I kinda agree that either she didn't enjoy the sex that much or that she not into me.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Was she on her period?

 

[Purpleheron]

Was she on her period?

Could be. I didn't ask her but I did feel something stiff at the bottom of her pants when I was rubbing her and all...thanks for that detail. Anyway I'm gonna be practicing getting scarce and see if she comes back.

 

[The Duke]

Seems like it was a little awkward. I'd of addressed that right away, and for sure by now. Pick up the phone and call her. Clear the air.

My guess is she isn't into you as much as you want her to be.

Or there are some details you haven't shared or didn't pick up on.

And why did it take you 10yrs to fuhk this girl?

 

[Purpleheron]

Seems like it was a little awkward. I'd of addressed that right away, and for sure by now. Pick up the phone and call her. Clear the air.

My guess is she isn't into you as much as you want her to be.

You are right. It could be it was awkward for her.. We were not that good friends to start with. Only met up once a year kind of stuff. But she was a lot more relaxed before the sex. We were chatting loads and there was eye contacts every single time. She kinda became 'cold' and quiet and aloof and avoided communicating and may times conveniently turn her head away instead of making eye contact. That got me puzzled as the ice has been broken and in my opinion, we are more connected more and should feel more at ease with each other but she behaved kinda tensed up. Having said that she isn't a very talkative girl to start with, demure, modest and quiet kind of girl. I doubt she was playing games with me and making me thinking of her but her actions and no contact are making me thinking of her.

 

[Barrister]

That’s a long time to know a chick and not bang. Considering you finally did, I’m guessing she did it more because she wanted some c0ck and not so much because she’s that into you. More of a rebound.

The second night sounds more like she knew you’d want more but she was turned off after thinking about it. I’d say a period is an unlikely reason if she said nothing as far as it coming on. Chicks will bang dudes they’re into whether they’re on their periods or not. I’d say she feels you’re more “friend” material but she just wanted some d1ck. Time to stop thinking about it and find other women.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Sounds like she knows you are way more into her than she is into you and that going any further would give you the wrong idea and give you expectations of things progressing.

Maybe she was curious what it would be like to fvck you and she found out and that was all she was interested in, but you made it obvious that you wanted more so she felt the need to back way off so you understood that she wasn't interested in that.

Not even close to a red flag.

Just a woman letting you know she isn't interested in becoming a FWB or your girlfriend.

Stop paying for trips with random women who aren't your girlfriend. Makes you look like a simp.

 

[Purpleheron]

That’s a long time to know a chick and not bang. Considering you finally did, I’m guessing she did it more because she wanted some c0ck and not so much because she’s that into you. More of a rebound.

The second night sounds more like she knew you’d want more but she was turned off after thinking about it. I’d say a period is an unlikely reason if she said nothing as far as it coming on. Chicks will bang dudes they’re into whether they’re on their periods or not. I’d say she feels you’re more “friend” material but she just wanted some d1ck. Time to stop thinking about it and find other women.

Well she was never on my radar though she was kinda innocent looking and I didn't want to game her. That was in the past. She had quite a few bfs since then and I thought why not try my luck. I did joke about coming up to her place one night for a drink and I'll bring condom along just in case, she didn't get offended but laughed it off instead by saying I am welcome but nothing will happen. By the sheer fact that she still talked to me after knowing my intention..and still agree to go on a road trip with me...puzzles me. It seems to be she is game for a hookup but just felt very curious at her attitude after that. I never asked for anything more than a hook up..to be frank..I never see her as a gf or wife material kind of girl but am just really curious if the sex was that bad.

 

[Purpleheron]

W

Sounds like she knows you are way more into her than she is into you and that going any further would give you the wrong idea and give you expectations of things progressing.

Maybe she was curious what it would be like to fvck you and she found out and that was all she was interested in, but you made it obvious that you wanted more so she felt the need to back way off so you understood that she wasn't interested in that.

Not even close to a red flag.

Just a woman letting you know she isn't interested in becoming a FWB or your girlfriend.

Stop paying for trips with random women who aren't your girlfriend. Makes you look like a simp.

Well but we never discussed and I never said we were gonna be fwb or get into gf/bf kind of relationship. If I wanted to date her seriously I would have treated her much better..dating her locally more and certainly won't try my luck on her..coz it might all backfire and I might lose a friend. It was all for good fun and the fact is I knew i might lose a friend after that. But if was gonna dump me even as a friend...which means i mean little or nothing to her....why would she still bother to fondle and blow me....she did it for a while..maybe 20 mins or so.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

W

Well but we never discussed and I never said we were gonna be fwb or get into gf/bf kind of relationship. If I wanted to date her seriously I would have treated her much better..dating her locally more and certainly won't try my luck on her..coz it might all backfire and I might lose a friend. It was all for good fun and the fact is I knew i might lose a friend after that. But if was gonna dump me even as a friend...which means i mean little or nothing to her....why would she still bother to fondle and blow me....she did it for a while..maybe 20 mins or so.

You seem really inexperienced to say you've been with a lot of women.

 

[Purpleheron]

You seem really inexperienced to say you've been with a lot of women.

I have bedded a lot of woman. It doesn't mean I am very experienced. Sometimes it's the woman who wants it. Sometimes I got the easier ones. I never said I am good and great and skillful. You seem to have a single perspective of things.

 

[LSUtiger1776]

Yes

 

[The Duke]

W

which means i mean little or nothing to her....why would she still bother to fondle and blow me....she did it for a while..maybe 20 mins or so.

You have to take your male brain out of gear for a moment. You won't figure out an emotional woman using analytical logic. Its not x+y=z.

I don't know why she did what she did, and she might not even know. But here are a few reasons that come to mind in situations like this:

-She was at the right part of her cycle and she was horny.
-Her period started before the 2nd attempt.
-She didn't want to disappoint you.
-She was fearful of getting pregnant from a guy she wasn't into.
-She didn't want to say no and have you get angry.
-She was curious.
-She was drunk.
-She isn't a very strong woman.
-She was physically attracted to you, but not mentally. That mental part is big for women.
-She felt pressured.
-She felt obligated.
-She didn't feel a connection after sex.
-She felt guilt afterwards.
-You wanted way more than casual sex and she didn't want that. Or the total opposite.

Knowing each other for 10yrs and you two never making a previous romantic connection says a lot.

Don't try and fuhk your female friend just because your reptilian brain says you should. Take some ownership in this interaction. If she was truly your friend you should of had some discussion about your feelings for each other beforehand. This wasn't just some random girl off the street.

Going forward, learn to read women better and you won't be left confused dealing with awkward situations. When a man sets the stage properly, things like this don't happen.

Are you going to call her and discuss this? It would probably be a good thing for your personal development and help you gain insight into how women think and feel.

 

[Barrister]

Well she was never on my radar though she was kinda innocent looking and I didn't want to game her. That was in the past. She had quite a few bfs since then and I thought why not try my luck. I did joke about coming up to her place one night for a drink and I'll bring condom along just in case, she didn't get offended but laughed it off instead by saying I am welcome but nothing will happen. By the sheer fact that she still talked to me after knowing my intention..and still agree to go on a road trip with me...puzzles me. It seems to be she is game for a hookup but just felt very curious at her attitude after that. I never asked for anything more than a hook up..to be frank..I never see her as a gf or wife material kind of girl but am just really curious if the sex was that bad.

That kind of comment is never my style and sounds pretty cringe UNLESS she was really into you and it was hot and heavy both ways. But from what you're saying it was never like that. I think you got a bang from her because she wanted sex on that date and time and you were who she was with.

Her behavior since then is not the behavior of a woman who is into you and wants to continue to sleep with you. You were just in the right place right time for her. I am guessing she actually probably feels somewhat awkward/uncomfortable now judging by how you say she hasn't even reached out. I would say to stop wasting your time thinking on this one and tell yourself it is time for you to be "on to the next."