Is this normal in a Long Term Relationship? Need Advice...

[Analysis]

What's up..DJ's,
Personally, no matter who I am in a relationship with, I think about other women. My question is how do you take it when a woman comes to you and tells you that she was thinking about another guy at work and feels guilty about thinking about it. Do you tell her that it is ok to think about other people as long as you don't act on it...I think about other women at work but I don't act on it...That's basically what I told my girl of 2 years...I also told her that maybe it is a sign you need to date other people...She told me I don't want to date other people...I just felt guilty about even thinking about it....I don't know how do you respond to something like this...Because like doc love says you always judge a woman by her actions not by what she says....and from day 1 my girl has always done stuff for me....She's dependable, buys me stuff all through out the year...takes me out to dinner...Put it like this...She does everything for me that an AFC would do for a girl...The only difference is I'm a man and I follow all the Don Juan stuff....What do you all think....

 

[strong like bull]

from day 1 my girl has always done stuff for me....She's dependable, buys me stuff all through out the year...takes me out to dinner...Put it like this...She does everything for me that an AFC would do for a girl...The only difference is I'm a man and I follow all the Don Juan stuff


bingo. shes treating you like a king. thats the ticket. actions always speak louder than words. its one thing for her to sit back and ramble about how sweet, compassionate and giving she is. its another to go out of her way and actually do it.

let me ask you, are you worried because youre afraid of her actually cheating, or because youre insecure? if you search the forum for similar threads, youll notice a reoccuring statement...

the key is what she wants. if she wants to imagine herself fvcking other guys, she will. if she wants to flirt with other guys, she will. if she wants to cheat on you... basically, her desires are the root. and attacking her on this, such as telling her who she cant talk to, will only push her further from you and closer into the arms of another man.

imo the best course of action is to make it clear that thoughts and some flirting with others may in fact be healthy. explain to her too though, that physically cheating/infedility in any way is utterly unacceptable and you would drop her like a sack of old, dirty, ****ty, smelly underwear the instant she was unfaithful.

basically youve gotta do two things:

- set a few reasonable, yet firm limits and stand by them. respect yourself. but give her the freedom to make her own choice. because she will make a choice, whether youd like the outcome or not.

- be such a great catch, that she would never want to be with another man. make it so that youre the man in her fantasies.

you can sit back and make all the rules you want, but if you dont have her desire, it doesnt matter. she wont give two ****s about your rules. give her the freedom to branch out and make that decision, but be magnetic enough to pull her back to you.

be cool about how you respond to her. personally, ive always thought about other girls while im in a relationship. to me its just natural. but i am very careful about how i take things further than flirting. to me infedility in an exclusive relationship is absolutely unacceptable, both ways. its interesting that she told you about the guy at work; i cant tell if shes just really honest, or trying to make you jealous.

if it is her innocent honesty, and she does have a high attraction for you and showers you with gifts and affection, hang on to her. go easy on her, and keep her close because giving girls are very hard to come by nowadays. and if you can find unwavering loyalty to go with that compassion...? yeah bro, keep her close.

-SLB

 

[Kaine]

Would like to comment, anymore details.

What DJ stuff do you pull?

How do you reward her?

How much time do you spend together?

How old is she and what's her history?

 

[DeathDealer]

It's normal to think about other women and "what if" with that other woman. It's great the girl is being the provider of the relationship cause all we know is that the majority if b1tches out there take men for granted. Now that the relationship has entered a mature stage, it's a good time to show "investment" in one, such as possibly taking a class together (art or physical) or planning a vacation more than a month away. I'm sure you two talked about the future too by now (marriage, kids, etc.)

 

[Analysis]

Thanks for the comments....

Yea, she talks about marraige constantly...At least for the past 13 months..seriously...She will bring up marriage..She asks me what type of ring I'm going to get her all the time...at least once a week..usually more...


How do I reward her?

I'm am a Doc Love fanatic...I bought his system when I was 20 and have had success with it ever since....Every woman I have dated since I started practicing the techniques were really into me...The only reason I am not w/ them is because my interest was not into them....but back to the question " How do I reward her? " Doc Love says that once the girl his madly in love w/ you, you have to apply the maintainence program which is doing for her once a month - whether that be a card, teddy bear, special romantic evening...whatever... it will keep the woman from nagging..He said thats a small price to pay to prevent her from acting up...Thats how I reward her...

How old am I?

I'm 25 and she's 24.....

What is her history w/ men?

Very intelligent...I'll just say she is in med school...and got one of the highest scores on the MCAT....

A pattern that I noticed w/ her past relationships is that she has been ultra giving..and other dudes have taken advangtage of her...She like alot of other girls in the sense that she will take a certain amount of abuse (Challenge) and stay w/ a dude....Her past 2 dudes broke up w/ her...but now they both are trying to get back w/ her but she ain't having it....Rejection is the ultimate challenge..and I think they thought they could get rid of her in hopes that she would come running back...I think they realize the mistake they made because 2 years later they still be leaving messages w/ her but she never returns there calls...

How much time do w/ spend together...

Typically, the weekend because we both are busy but we chat for a bit at the end of every night...sometimes we might hit each other during the day if we have something to really important to say...

What type of DJ stuff do I pull?

- Challenge ( I always stand my ground, I compromise but am willing to say no ( Doc Loves says you should tell your woman no at least once a month )- I'm ****y and funny..
- Self-Control ( I don't call her a million times, I call her once and expect a call back when get the time...I check up on her, She tries to test me sometimes by saying so and so guy is cute...I laugh...and will make a ****y and funny statement...like Oh..for real..I think your best friend is the bomb...I kind of like her....She tries testing me in other ways but I maintain a smooth demeanor..
-Confidence - Decisive w/ what I want to do w/ my life..although I don't I was feel that way..I know woman like that...I'm Confident w/ most of the statements I make...Never talk about my accolades or volunteer info unless she wants to know...I focus on her and pick her brain....

Sex: I try to be unpredictable..spontaneous...all that....

I can go on w/ other things I do..but you get the gist...
I'm not perfect...but I would say I more things right than wrong...That's why I come her and get advice when I'm unsure..

 

[Analysis]

LDR's and thinking about guys....

Here is my history...above...Anymore comments...