Is this girl trouble?

[mrksmpsn124]

I have been seeing this girl I go to college with for about 4 months now and we are pretty serious. We are exclusive and have told each other that we love each other. However, she claims she doesn't want a relationship and seems to give me a different reason every time. Anyways, this hasn't bothered me too much because I'm in no rush to put a title on it and make it official, things are fine how they are for the most part and I feel no need to rock the boat. I guess I'm just curious if I should be worried there's some underlying reason she's not saying for why she really doesn't want a relationship.

On top of that, she told me the other day she was bored of us and that she feels like we go in circles and nothing ever changes. I told her I thought part of that could be because we are home from school on our winter break and have only been able to see each other twice in the last 3 weeks. She later apologized for telling me she was bored of us and that she wasn't bored when we were able to see each other more frequently at school.

Finally, for New Years me and some friends are going to my buddy's cabin for a couple of days and are allowed to bring a plus 1. I invited her and she said she wasn't sure because she may be going to disneyland with her cousins. I told her okay and to let me know when she found out. Turns out the Disneyland trip ended yesterday so I asked her if that meant she would be coming at first she said she still didn't know and I said okay you need to decided in the next 2 days. An hour later she told me she wasn't coming because she wanted to spend her last week of break with her mom. I told her okay and left it at that. Then later that night she told me a group of her friends was gonna be in the same area of my friends cabin for New Years and that now she wanted to come with us but that she would wanna meet with friends as well. What happened to being with her mom was that just some bull**** excuse and now that her friends are gonna be where I am she wants to come. Should I confront her about this or just let it be and tell her she can stay with us?

I know this post is long but I'm a newcomer and would really appreciate some help with all three of this problems and be on my way to becoming a DJ

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

No. If a girl says no to the being your girlfriend but say yes to exclusive thing then that means she still wants her freedom. She doesn't want to feel bad if she is chillin with another dude. This girl is mad disrespectful and she is not 100% co-operative. If she was co-operative she would want to spend any time SHE COULD get with you. She didn't want to go the cabin with you in the first place. But since her friends will be near she changed her mind. That's fkng trifflin as hell. You need to charge this girl to the game because she already is disrespectful and she is unsure about yalls relationship.

What kind of girl will say she wants to be exclusive with you but doesn't want a relationship. A girl that likes multiple d!cks or is ashamed of you. DUH.

You have more invested in her then vice versa. Don't just take a step back. Just charge her to the game. She takes you as a brother who can't lead and the disrespect will just accumulate.

 

[MikeOck]

It is obvious that you are more into her than she is into you. She is willing to keep seeing you for now, but when someone she likes more comes along she will drop you for him and if you act mad or upset about it, she will bring up the fact that you aren't in a "relationship".

Personally, I'd keep sleeping with her, but I'd drop my interest level waaaay down and start gaming other women immediately. Ironically, if you do this her interest level in you will increase (women LOVE to have things that other women want).

 

[mrksmpsn124]

I guess I was asking for this, she's told me in the past she was worried I cared more than her and I always ignored it

 

[seethehoop]

Tell her she can't come to the cabin, she is just using you unless she is wanting you to meet her friends she is using the cabin for a place to stay.

Also don't try and reason with her, when she says you are going round in circles just agree with her and tell her you have been thinking the same and want to cool off a bit, she'll react to this far better than if you try and use logic.

 

[rhythmic]

Didn't read your post. Just needed the title:

"Is this girl trouble?"

The answer is always the same - yes, if you let her be.

 

[Trump]

An hour later she told me she wasn't coming because she wanted to spend her last week of break with her mom. I told her okay and left it at that. Then later that night she told me a group of her friends was gonna be in the same area of my friends cabin for New Years and that now she wanted to come with us but that she would wanna meet with friends as well. What happened to being with her mom was that just some bull**** excuse and now that her friends are gonna be where I am she wants to come. Should I confront her about this or just let it be and tell her she can stay with us?

She told you that to protect herself and to increase her value to her friends. I would tell her exactly what you said, but in a non confrontational way.

But dude she's not trouble...she just doesn't care about you as much as you thought. Trouble is when a girl steals your money or kills you or hides your medicine, not when her interest level is decreasing because of your game.

 

[Aristippus]

Your relationship is dying a slow death. I agree with the guy who said that she just wants to use you for a place to stay. When a woman loves you, you'll know. She will make excuses to see you. She will do whatever she can to spend time with you because time with you is valuable to her.

When a woman avoids spending time with you or finds excuses not to spend time with you, she doesn't love you. She will gladly string you along for gifts and favors for as long as she can milk it. If she can get a free stay at a nice cabin or gifts from you or dinners of if she can get you to do her homework for her or do chores or favors for her, she will.

She'll leave you in limbo land and string you along indefinitely if you let her because even though she doesn't love you, she'll gladly take the ego boost she gets whenever she receives male attention. She'll dangle a carrot or two and play you like a sucker. I suggest, contrary to what some of the others have suggested, that you NOT have sex with her again. That you break off all contact with her and cut her off like a cancer.

She will continue to suck away your time, energy, money and will drain you emotionally if you let her. She doesn't care about you so why should you care about her? In reality, she has very low interest in you. That's the bottom line. This simply means it's time to drop her like a bad habit and look for women that are worth your time.

 

[VladPatton]

At the first whine or whimper of a girl saying negative things about a relationship, give her a time out indefinitely. If she is so bored, unsure, and wants to branch swing, by all means, let her be free. Be indifferent to her complaints about you and set her free. Show her you are not needy (which you shouldn't be). You cannot convince a girl to stay with you, or force her to be happy.

Hit the nuke button, take a few months out to get your mindspace back, and start hitting up girls that actually appreciate you, your time, and your character.

Good luck.

 

[mrksmpsn124]

Aistippus I would agree with some of that; the part about how if she had a high interest level she would make excuses to hangout all the time. However shes not stringing me along for gifts and favors. We didn't do christmas gifts, whenever we go out for food we always split it, when we went on a road trip we split gas and food, and I don't do any chores for her.

 

[Renegade357]

Sorry dude, if they don't ask to be your girlfriend between dates 6-12 you're pretty much screwed. Drop her or just continue to enjoy the free milk.