is this girl playing hard to get or is she not interested?

[tbhforever]

ok so theres this girl that ive been friends with for over a year now and we used to hang out a lot (she dated my friend) but they broke up last winter, so, we text a lot (she usually messages me first) and we sometimes hang out (in bursts, like a few times in a week but then not for a week or two)

so then i text her one day at like eleven cause i was bored at summer school, and then she asks me if i want to see the ugly truth with her that day.and at first im like never heard of it, so then she suggests orphan. and im like no i dont like those kinds of movies what else is out.
and shes like orphan, orphan, and then theres orphan (trying to be cute)
and so im finally like alright. then shes like i probably cant see it today but i for sure can tomorrow so im like alright.
so later that night at like 1 i text her asking "do you still wanna see that movie tomorrow?
i get no response, hey maybe shes sleeping already
so the next day i text her the same thing, no response.
i havnt talked to her in 4 days now. im pissed she didnt text me back and i have a morbid fear of rejection.
what do you guys think?
also, if a girl says your so lucky to be a guy, is that flirting? and if so, whats a good thing so say back to that? at least 10 girls have said that to me.

 

[jeffthechef]

so then i text her one day at like eleven cause i was bored at summer school, and then she asks me if i want to see the ugly truth with her that day.and at first im like never heard of it, so then she suggests orphan. and im like no i dont like those kinds of movies what else is out.
and shes like orphan, orphan, and then theres orphan (trying to be cute)
and so im finally like alright. then shes like i probably cant see it today but i for sure can tomorrow so im like alright.


sounds normal


so later that night at like 1 i text her asking "do you still wanna see that movie tomorrow?
i get no response, hey maybe shes sleeping already
so the next day i text her the same thing, no response.
i havnt talked to her in 4 days now. im pissed she didnt text me back and i have a morbid fear of rejection.what do you guys think?

First text..fine...but teh second text is eh..i mean she probably got that first text..dont overtext or you'll seem clingy
as for her not responding, tehre are several reasons:
1. Her phone broke.
2. She went on vacation.
3. She thinks you're annoying and wants to avoid you for a while.
4. She's testing you. She's withholding contact to see how you'll react.

now.. i think it's either 3 or 4. If it's 3, you should do a little push/pull..give her attention like you are already..but pull it away after she's so entranced by you..kinda seems like she's doing that to you...if it's 4, don't contact her until she contacts you..and make her pay for semi-flaking on you.. something playful and not serious but make sure she's gets the idea that she can't waste your time

What you should do...you're giving her too much attention..start trying to look at other girls and explore those possibliities..as for this girl, wait until she contacts you and make her pay..

also, if a girl says your so lucky to be a guy, is that flirting? and if so, whats a good thing so say back to that? at least 10 girls have said that to me.

is that flirting? doesn't sound like it to me...my sister says that all the time to me whenever something painful relating to women only comes up..like pregnancy or salary discrimination..so no, that's not flirting to me...
there are several reasons why girls are saying this to you..
1. you guys tlak about a lot of cool guy things..
2. You're not manly enough and she wants you to be more like a guy. She's trying to sell the idea of being a guy to you.

you haev 3 posts so i assume you're new
Here's wht to do:
1. Read the dj bible.
2. Stop thinking/fantasizing about these girls.
3. Get more girls on your internal list.

 

[Ease]

sounds like your friendzoned anyway, push and pull sounds good.

Act interested and flirty with her one day, and then take it away and act disinterested the next. Let her be confused, you dont want her to put u in a 'just friends' position in her head and get too comfortable around you. Have you ever made a move or kissed her?

Forget about the text, confront her about it and dont let her get away with making plans and then just forgetting about it, but play it cool and dont think about it.

 

[tbhforever]

sounds like your friendzoned anyway, push and pull sounds good.

Act interested and flirty with her one day, and then take it away and act disinterested the next. Let her be confused, you dont want her to put u in a 'just friends' position in her head and get too comfortable around you. Have you ever made a move or kissed her?

Forget about the text, confront her about it and dont let her get away with making plans and then just forgetting about it, but play it cool and dont think about it.

i havent made any moves yet because i dont want my friend to find out... but im pretty sure shes physically attracted to me.
i saw her staring at me/my body when we were at the beach

 

[eaglez1177]

sounds like your friendzoned anyway, push and pull sounds good.

Act interested and flirty with her one day, and then take it away and act disinterested the next. Let her be confused, you dont want her to put u in a 'just friends' position in her head and get too comfortable around you. Have you ever made a move or kissed her?

Forget about the text, confront her about it and dont let her get away with making plans and then just forgetting about it, but play it cool and dont think about it.

Terrible advice.

First off, she doesnt have a "just friends" position in her head about this kid, shes already made it pretty clear that she wants to hookup and do stuff (shown by how she wants to see a movie with him, which everyone knows should be a guarantee hookup, because "just friends" dont go see movies together without hooking up or doing something).

Secondly, do not, I repeat, DO NOT confront her about the situation and do not hound her and try to not "let her get away with making plans and then just forgetting about it". That will just make you seem completely needy and desperate. Just dont say anything and wait for her to come back to you.

You already messed up once by texting her at 1am (obviously shes asleep why the heck would you text her then? No wonder you didnt get an answer), and then you messed up BIG TIME by texting her again (showed that you're clingy and needy).

Push and pull is a good idea right now, but I would only use a small amount of it until you are definitely ensured to hang out with her and have a shot at hooking up. Don't overuse the push and pull because then she may just get completely frustrated and confused, and may just decide to forget about you for good (yes, this has happened to me before).

And wait for her to text you first, don't text her again if she never texts back.

 

[tbhforever]

alright, and to clarify the 1 am thing, thats when she usually texts or calls me

ive even had some at 3 am it was ridiculous

 

[saturos]

Terrible advice.

First off, she doesnt have a "just friends" position in her head about this kid, shes already made it pretty clear that she wants to hookup and do stuff (shown by how she wants to see a movie with him, which everyone knows should be a guarantee hookup, because "just friends" dont go see movies together without hooking up or doing something).

Wrong. I won't claim to be any "Don Juan" of any sort, but this is just wrong. Are you even in high school? People go to the movies, boys and girls, all the time, no hook up, just friends. Friends i know do it, i've done it, most people who aren't faggots have done it.
Let me ask you before you give advice: Do you have success with girls? And if the answer is yes, then kudos, but your advice here is just wrong.

At the TC: just relax about the girl. Don't confront or anything, just relax.
I went away from this site for quite a while now, visited once in the last two months or so. When i first came i wasn't bad in any sort with girls, but this site didn't really make me any better, just more concerned, more paranoid about wtf do i do here, wtf do i do there.
And its like, just fvcking don't think about it. She didn't text you back? Whatever, i've got great friends who sometimes just don't text back. Sometimes i don't text back to people, girls even, because i don't feel like it, then i just don't ever bother doing it.

And texting her at 1am is fine. Its the god damn summer, everyone is up late

Just go out and fvck around. One month left before you got school on your ass, go have fun and you'll run into her, and maybe you'll hook up, maybe you won't. Whatever.

 

[eaglez1177]

Wrong. I won't claim to be any "Don Juan" of any sort, but this is just wrong. Are you even in high school? People go to the movies, boys and girls, all the time, no hook up, just friends. Friends i know do it, i've done it, most people who aren't faggots have done it.
Let me ask you before you give advice: Do you have success with girls? And if the answer is yes, then kudos, but your advice here is just wrong.

At the TC: just relax about the girl. Don't confront or anything, just relax.
I went away from this site for quite a while now, visited once in the last two months or so. When i first came i wasn't bad in any sort with girls, but this site didn't really make me any better, just more concerned, more paranoid about wtf do i do here, wtf do i do there.
And its like, just fvcking don't think about it. She didn't text you back? Whatever, i've got great friends who sometimes just don't text back. Sometimes i don't text back to people, girls even, because i don't feel like it, then i just don't ever bother doing it.

And texting her at 1am is fine. Its the god damn summer, everyone is up late

Just go out and fvck around. One month left before you got school on your ass, go have fun and you'll run into her, and maybe you'll hook up, maybe you won't. Whatever.

Wow then I guess my town must be different from yours or something cuz that just sounds very weird to me. I've NEVER gone to a movie with a girl, or with my friends and her friends, without having intentions of hooking up. And yes, I am in highschool, and thats exactly my point lol; people in highschool (at least where im from) dont just go to movies with friends who are girls just to see the movie and not hookup lol.

On top of that, the OP was planning on going to a movie with this chick being just him and her. You don't think that would be weird if the two of them just went and didnt hook up at all? Or just went as "friends" and didnt even have intentions of hooking up? The whole point of going to the movies with another girl is to hook up with her, not to watch the movie lol. If youre actually interested in seeing the movie, and dont wanna be distracted by hooking up with a chick, then go with your guy friends (something I see all the time where im from, if a couple guys actually wanna see a movie, they go with their own guy friends and no girls, but if they wanna get some ass, they'll go with girls).

Obviously, this chick liked the OP when she asked him to go to the movies with her, so why the heck would the go just as friends and do nothing? Thats SO awkward lol.

I think what you may be referring to is a GROUP of guys going with a GROUP of girls to the movies, in which case maybe only one or two guys may hook up, and the rest may just go as friends.

But as for one guy and one girl going to the movies without intentions of hooking up, that is just weird, awkward, and quite pathetic on the guy's part (its the freakin movies how can you not get a hookup its so easy!!)

 

[tbhforever]

alright she talked to me first again now and its all cool and im just wondering if i should come at her for flaking?

 

[saturos]

Nope i have girl friends that i have gone to the movies alone with, or gone to starbucks alone with, as have a lot of people. I'm sure it happens around you too, maybe you don't notice it.
I've gone to the movies with just one guy too. I guess it depends on whether you are comfortable, but i never run out of things to talk about, and when we do, its not awkward silence, we're just hanging out.

 

[saturos]

alright she talked to me first again now and its all cool and im just wondering if i should come at her for flaking?

Well she didn't flake, did she?
I mean just ask her casually about it, or mention it briefly to let her know that you actually were planning on it, like "yea we never saw that movie" or something, she'll probably tell you why. Or you can just ask. Don't rip on her for it.
I mean if she keeps setting up and then not committing though, just fvck her.

 

[tbhforever]

alright so i was talking to her and was like "so why didnt we ever see that movie?" and she was you "you tell me!" wtf.
then she said she felt like she was forcing me into it

 

[faiNt`]

ok so theres this girl that ive been friends with for over a year now and we used to hang out a lot (she dated my friend) but they broke up last winter, so, we text a lot (she usually messages me first) and we sometimes hang out (in bursts, like a few times in a week but then not for a week or two)

so then i text her one day at like eleven cause i was bored at summer school, and then she asks me if i want to see the ugly truth with her that day.and at first im like never heard of it, so then she suggests orphan. and im like no i dont like those kinds of movies what else is out.
and shes like orphan, orphan, and then theres orphan (trying to be cute)
and so im finally like alright. then shes like i probably cant see it today but i for sure can tomorrow so im like alright.
so later that night at like 1 i text her asking "do you still wanna see that movie tomorrow?
i get no response, hey maybe shes sleeping already
so the next day i text her the same thing, no response.
i havnt talked to her in 4 days now. im pissed she didnt text me back and i have a morbid fear of rejection.
what do you guys think?
also, if a girl says your so lucky to be a guy, is that flirting? and if so, whats a good thing so say back to that? at least 10 girls have said that to me.

Ok first of all, you're doing it all wrong. YOU should have been the one to tell her that you two are seeing a movie. YOU should have been the one to tell HER what movie it will be. She doesn't reply to your text that day? CALL HER the next day if it's something as important as your time. Doesn't answer or reply that entire day? Plan something else. If she calls or texts after that, suggesting X or Y because something came up, or whatever, decline.

Simply put, NEXT.

EDIT:// read what eaglez said and tbh, that is completely true; if your point was to hook up there, you could tell her you don't care what you saw etc