Is this girl just playing games with me or what?

[Juggaloryda]

I've been dating this girl for about 3 weeks. Everything seems to have been going great. She seemed really into me. She always told me she really liked me and misses me. We would text each other all day every day. We saw each other at least 4 times a week. We haven't had sex, but we've kissed and made out. I really like her and I want a relationship with her, not just a hit it and quit it kind of thing. Most girls I've had sex with, I usually ****ed them within a week after I met them. Me and this girls have decided we want to take things slow and actually get to know each other first. She seems like a good girl, but she's not a virgin.

Everything was great with her, until a couple days ago. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, she tells me "Don't take this the wrong way. I like you and you're a good person. I just want to be friends." This came to a total shock to me. Then, she said she just doesn't know what she wants, and she wants to be friends, but she said something may happen between us in the future. She says she does like me, but she just doesn't know what she wants. She then tells me she started talking to another guy. She said they didn't do anything except talk. She said she obviously doesn't know what she wants, and that's why she was talking to that other guy. So, she just wants to be friends with me until she realizes what she wants.

I think this is all a bunch of crap! I think she's just playing games with me. I'm not gonna be friends with her if there's no chance of us ever being more than just friends. For the past couple days, she still texts me and she even said she misses me. Whatever. I don't know what to do. I really like her, but it just seems like she's just playing me. I already cut down contact with her. I stopped calling her, and I don't text her unless she texts me first. Does she just not wanna be with me or do I still have a chance with her? I don't know what to do. I could use some advice on what I should do with this girl.

Thanks!

 

[PectoralisMajor]

yup she's playing you and this other fella.

basically she is biding her time to see which one of you (if any) is best for her.

meanwhile she keeps both of you on a string until she decides. Its a rubbish position to be in, and clearly shows she's not mad about you in any way.

my suggestion - if you have plenty of friends / opportunities, either

a) forget about her and tell her you have enough friends
b) stay friends and never expect anything to happen between you romantically

DONT whatever you do stay friends in the HOPE something else may happen. chances are it wont.

 

[oakraiderz2]

Grow some balls and hit it. Continue to do so as you get other girls.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I think what made her want to be friends with you... Is the fact you talked on the phone all day and spent so much time with her.

 

[Nutz]

First off, you had too much comfort and not enough seduction. Always be escalating or things will fizzle out. She'll become attached once you have sex, so that should be the first order of business if you want rid of the other guy. Chalk it up to the bonding chemicals from sex. Even if she likes the other guy a ton more, if you bed her first he's done for (or vice versa).

Second, I'm already seeing HPD red flags. Keep your eyes open on this one as she looks to be playing games with you. If she really was interested in the other guy and was socially adept then you'd be wondering why she went cold. The fact she told you says volumes about her character.

 

[More Cowbell Please]

How are you going to stay with a chick without sex? That doesn't make sense.

 

[JJMcLure]

You waited too long to escalate and fell into the friend zone. Within that, you have seen too much of each other so early on (you said 4 times a week) - better to show you have a busy life, pursuits and other options on the go that you can't just drop for someone you haven't known very long. So a lack of challenge/mystery combined with a lack of escalation equalled friends zone.

She won't give you a definitive answer, she will leave you hanging - chicks want to collect as many male admirers as possible (they feed on attention which boosts their ego so they can go after the guy they do want).

Forget about her and focus on other chicks (that doesn't mean ignore her or be rude, it means set in your mind that you have nothing to gain from her but friendship - which you've said you don't want - and act accordingly).