Is this girl just a tease???

[Cowboy1015]

I think I know what to do... ignore her... but i just want to vent right now...

Well, I've been dating her the past few weeks. No sex nothing really amazing. The last time we saw each other was few days ago, when I tried to kiss her twice and she only offered her cheek. And I was vocal and told her that I don't want to be a friend and that I like her. And she just told me that we'll talk about it next time.

Then I was suppose to pick her up at her office 2 nights ago when all of a sudden she can't. That same night she gave me her new office number (i don't get this, why does she have to give her new # to me). Yesterday, I called her she was busy and said would call me back. She did not, instead texted me after couple of hours saying sorry and some excuse why she failed to return my call.

Now I feel that she's just a tease and maybe not really interested to me.

Now I'm thinking of just ignoring her don't contact her anymore and move on base on my hunches.
Should I? Or should I talk to her one last time about what really the deal is???

 

[teddy240]

I totally understand why this is frustrating. The best thing is to move on thou. I mean, she is driving you crazy, which doesnt feel good, your not happy because your not getting an answer. Problem is, this bothers you to the point it makes you look desperate. Look, I think girls take longer to see if they want to stay or not, they like to keep their options open, thats why they never straight out say their not interested. But, regain some ground, realize you never have to say what you feel, show it. Dont text her, but dont next her right away.

 

[Cowboy1015]

I totally understand why this is frustrating. The best thing is to move on thou. I mean, she is driving you crazy, which doesnt feel good, your not happy because your not getting an answer. Problem is, this bothers you to the point it makes you look desperate. Look, I think girls take longer to see if they want to stay or not, they like to keep their options open, thats why they never straight out say their not interested. But, regain some ground, realize you never have to say what you feel, show it. Dont text her, but dont next her right away.

You're right... she's it's frustrating.

I mean why didn't she she just flat out say she's not interested when I told her I like her. She just said we'll talk about it next time. Why does she have to make an excuse about not returning my call. She can just ignore it. And why does she have to give her new office number?? After I opened up and tried to kiss her, she would say she want to see me, but then something else would come up sometimes.

I don't know if she got caught in surprise when I opened up.

I think you're right, don't talk... but just show it. I guess I won't contact her for few days for now.

 

[Chickfight]

Well, I've been dating her the past few weeks. No sex nothing really amazing. The last time we saw each other was few days ago, when I tried to kiss her twice and she only offered her cheek. And I was vocal and told her that I don't want to be a friend and that I like her. And she just told me that we'll talk about it next time.

A few weeks is too long if you haven't been steadily escalating throughout, even the slowest paced escalation should get a makeout by date two. You failed to raise the intimacy and attraction to the point where she would kiss you. That should be the most obvious sign her interest is low. She didn't "offer" you her cheek, she turned her head so you wouldn't get her on the lips.

And I was vocal and told her that I don't want to be a friend and that I like her. And she just told me that we'll talk about it next time.

Your mistake is was verbalizing it, you don't EVER tell a girl you like her until she says she likes you and the only situation you tell her you don't want to be friends is if she LJBF's you.

The trick is to show her this without verbalizing.

So yes, follow your hunch. She's losing interest, so withdraw your attention. That's a basic rule and one of the only things that works to regain interest, the other one is jealousy.

 

[Cowboy1015]

Fvck! I don't know why I verbalized it... well.. that's done. But I did try to kiss her after verbalizing...

Well, let me see if this is still salvageable...

The bad thing is, she has my expensive sunglasses. For some reason, it seems she doesn't want to return it to me. I don't know how to ask her to give it back... lol.

 

[LoneWolf]

for me, if i go for a kiss on a first date, and get the cheek.. thats okay. second date, cheek again? one last try... third date and still cheek? i move on. but almost always first date ends and you go for a kiss, that's the gold right there. only second date is usually the last deal in most cases. if a girl likes you man she will let you kiss her.. obviously she doesn't like you that much.

text her to give your glasses back. nothing more. move on after that man.. let her contact you otherwise just forget it.

 

[Cowboy1015]

Well, that was actually my first try to kiss her. It didn't seem she was really avoiding it. It's more like... it's not the right time yet. But I guess... I'll lie low for now... and let her think.

But I will contact her in the next few days to get my glasses back...

 

[Cowboy1015]

What's more frustrating about this is... she gives me a lot of mixed signals...

So the following morning, after I tried to kiss her and told her I like her... she texted me "Hey good morning". We pretty had a good text exchange then I cut her off and told her I'll just call her after work. That call went fine as well.

That was the same day that I was suppose to see her again at her work, but something came up that she can't.

So following day, I called her at work to see if she can do dinner with me, she wasn't able to talk to me and said will call me back. She did not call me back... and just texted me back with some excuse after few hours. So i guess that excuse was pretty good... unless she's lying.

So tonight we had a couple of text exchanges... but when I tried to call her after few minutes, she didn't pick up and not even called me back.

So let's see what's gonna happen the next few days. I'm pretty sure she will contact me... now I'm not sure what to do when she does..

 

[ENIGMA16]

This girl isn't a tease, she just has low interest because you failed to escalate. You should've had a make out on the first date and sealed the deal on the second or third, at the very least. You also shouldn't have told her your intentions. This tells me that you're not seeing other women and are probably reeking of desperation.

Finally, her interest level has remained low, or has been plummeting. This tells me that you have persistently failed to correct your behavior/attitude since this started.

Get your sunglasses back, meet up just to get them. Pick them up from her house or something. Be friendly and leave, don't try kissing her or being sexual at all.

Then stop talking to her for a few weeks and try again later. In the mean time spin some other plates and get rid of your desperation. If she contacts you saying she's interested in meeting up, tell her you're busy whenever she tries to nail down plans, maybe cancel once, then go for it again.

 

[Cowboy1015]

This girl isn't a tease, she just has low interest because you failed to escalate. You should've had a make out on the first date and sealed the deal on the second or third, at the very least. You also shouldn't have told her your intentions. This tells me that you're not seeing other women and are probably reeking of desperation.

Finally, her interest level has remained low, or has been plummeting. This tells me that you have persistently failed to correct your behavior/attitude since this started.

Get your sunglasses back, meet up just to get them. Pick them up from her house or something. Be friendly and leave, don't try kissing her or being sexual at all.

Then stop talking to her for a few weeks and try again later. In the mean time spin some other plates and get rid of your desperation. If she contacts you saying she's interested in meeting up, tell her you're busy whenever she tries to nail down plans, maybe cancel once, then go for it again.

I thought her interest was high until i tried to kiss her. Maybe it's early to tell... my first effort to kiss her happened 4 nights ago.

But thanks. I think this is pretty good advise.

 

[Cowboy1015]

Damn it... I felt like she didn't want to talk to me last night...

Just now, she sent me a "Good Morning" text. I think she doesn't know what she wants.

I haven't replied. And I feel like I should not and let her do the work now..

 

[Iceberg]

Damn it... I felt like she didn't want to talk to me last night...

Just now, she sent me a "Good Morning" text. I think she doesn't know what she wants.

I haven't replied. And I feel like I should not and let her do the work now..

Yes. Do that.

Even from your original post, when you tried to kiss her and she said "We'll talk about it next time", it felt like this girl was comfortably in control of this "relationship". Ignoring her will knock her off whatever pedestal she thinks she's on.

The "We'll talk about it next time" thing....That would piss me off on principle alone. Some girl trying to dictate to me how we escalate. It's a kiss, for God's sake. It ain't like you're trying to knock her up.

 

[BadNews]

Maybe she doesn't want to rush things? She could very well be interested in you, but is still deciding if you're the kinda guy she wants to spend more time with. You need to tone it down a little in my opinion. Let her take it slow, but don't let yourself get too caught up with her.

Going to her work as often as you - sound like - you do is a bad play. Make her miss you a little bit, the interest is probably there...but shes not going to know how much she likes you untill she MISSES you, and REALIZES it. Don't talk about your feelings with her...unless she initiates THAT conversation.

I would pull back a little bit, give her some space, let her realize that she does in fact like you. This is sounding dangerously close to a serious case of oneitis. Let her be the one to initiate contact. Texting her/calling her every day is going to be a mistake. Texting her back RIGHT away is a mistake. Making yourself too available (read: going to her work when she asks????) is a mistake.

Busy yourself with other things in your life, and let things play out how they play out. Also, in my opinion, I WOULD ONLY CALL HER FOR THE PURPOSES OF SETTING UP A DATE...unless you have some other IMPORTANT reason to call her.

 

[Cowboy1015]

Maybe she doesn't want to rush things? She could very well be interested in you, but is still deciding if you're the kinda guy she wants to spend more time with. You need to tone it down a little in my opinion. Let her take it slow, but don't let yourself get too caught up with her.

Going to her work as often as you - sound like - you do is a bad play. Make her miss you a little bit, the interest is probably there...but shes not going to know how much she likes you untill she MISSES you, and REALIZES it. Don't talk about your feelings with her...unless she initiates THAT conversation.

I would pull back a little bit, give her some space, let her realize that she does in fact like you. This is sounding dangerously close to a serious case of oneitis. Let her be the one to initiate contact. Texting her/calling her every day is going to be a mistake. Texting her back RIGHT away is a mistake. Making yourself too available (read: going to her work when she asks????) is a mistake.

Busy yourself with other things in your life, and let things play out how they play out. Also, in my opinion, I WOULD ONLY CALL HER FOR THE PURPOSES OF SETTING UP A DATE...unless you have some other IMPORTANT reason to call her.

She kinda said to me it takes long for her to know the guy when I opened up to her. Maybe you're right. Because I thought she really likes me.

I guess I was seeing her too often and maybe she felt I'm always there for her. Or maybe she's dating other guys and she has other options. And so she can't make up her mind.

I will take a break and let her realize things.

 

[Johnnyventana]

"We'll talk about it next time." <- This is why she canceled. She doesn't want to talk about it. Either should you. You pressured her too soon. Also, like everyone else told you, you showed your hand by expressing your feelings.

Somehow let her know that you have no intension of talking to her about this. (It shouldn't be a negotiation anyway, it should just happen.) You need to take the pressure of her (real or perceived) and make it about fun. If there is anything to follow, it will, by itself.

 

[Cowboy1015]

"We'll talk about it next time." <- This is why she canceled. She doesn't want to talk about it. Either should you. You pressured her too soon. Also, like everyone else told you, you showed your hand by expressing your feelings.

Somehow let her know that you have no intension of talking to her about this. (It shouldn't be a negotiation anyway, it should just happen.) You need to take the pressure of her (real or perceived) and make it about fun. If there is anything to follow, it will, by itself.

You maybe right. Because I really felt she was having a good time with me. I just wanted to escalate where we are by trying to kiss her. Maybe verbalizing was the mistake. Maybe I made a move too soon. Maybe she got pressured.

Maybe she doesn't want to talk about what she's expecting I'm gonna bring up if we see each other... so she's flaking.

Earlier today she texted me again asking me "How is work". I replied hours late just before I left work.

Now I'm thinking of sending her text something like "Hey... forget about what I said the last time. We don't have to talk about it... I don't even know how that came up...". Do you guys think this is ok to send?

 

[Johnnyventana]

Regarding your question about sending her that text. If possible, simply see her again, don't bring it up, and make her laugh! Make sure she has fun. Let it go, unsaid. Maybe say, "Hey, talking is over rated. Let's chill on X day and watch a movie (at her place or yours, so you can be close.) Not a movie theater. She'll get the hint. p.s. Yes, just kiss, don't verbalize it.

 

[ENIGMA16]

Now I'm thinking of sending her text something like "Hey... forget about what I said the last time. We don't have to talk about it... I don't even know how that came up...". Do you guys think this is ok to send?

No, for fvcks sake stop talking about it! Just ignore it like it never happened and move on, don't say anything about it.

 

[Iceberg]

No, for fvcks sake stop talking about it! Just ignore it like it never happened and move on, don't say anything about it.

Haha. Seriously. What the hell.

"That thing you don't want to talk about.....well, I just want to talk about it real quick, to let you know that we don't have to talk about it."

Just don't mention it. It's not f**kin rocket science.

 

[Htienvu]

Listen to the guys, go NO CONTACT! read the DJ bible a bit more. You will learn more about the games that girls play on us guys and how to deal with them.

If she contacts you DO NOT talk about what happened that day, act like nothing had happened. You've put out enough, it's time to pull back and see what she does.