Is this girl a user?

[Mtrain]

Hellow fellow DJ's, do you think this girl is a 'user'? Let me explain.. I met this girl at a party and so far i've gone out with her on 2 dates. One for dinner and one for lunch. During my first date with her she mentioned to me how difficult it was to go shopping by herself since she couldn't carry too many groceries by herself... So anyhow, after my first date with her, she had asked me if I would like to accompany her either to go shopping at the furniture store or go with her grocery shopping. She's a graduate student and she doesn't have a car. (I have a car though - both shopping trips would need a car since public transportation would be inconvenient for either venue.) Since I was busy that weekend, I couldn't go with her shopping.

I mentioned this to one of my close female buddies, and she tells me- "This girl is a 'USER'! why is she so dependent, and why can't she go shopping by herself!!" "Why is she asking you to go with her shopping after only the first date??" I thought to myself hmmm, maybe my buddy is right, or is she is overreacting to perhaps an innocent request???

Before my second date with her she had asked to borrow my USB cable for my MP3 player. She was having trouble transferring music between her PC and her MP3 player, so she asked to borrow mine. Since I have an extra cable, I lent my cable to her. I spoke to her a couple of days ago and she mentioned about the cable and will return it to me the coming week when her final exams are over. I have plans of getting together with her and celebrating end of semester..

My question to you guys is do you think this girl I'm dating is a 'USER' and really has no romantic interest in me or perhaps those requests to drive her to go shopping are innocent? What kind of 'red flags' do you guys look out for to avoid getting involved with a 'user'? Thanks in advance for your input! Mtrain

 

[Docs]

She could just need someone to depend on. Remember a user is someone that takes without giving, so to turn that to you..

If you don't ask for anything back, then she's using you. Once it's a relay of things you both do for each other, then it turns into a better relationship.

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by Mtrain
During my first date with her she mentioned to me how difficult it was to go shopping by herself since she couldn't carry too many groceries by herself... So anyhow, after my first date with her, she had asked me if I would like to accompany her either to go shopping at the furniture store or go with her grocery shopping. She's a graduate student and she doesn't have a car. (I have a car though - both shopping trips would need a car since public transportation would be inconvenient for either venue.) Since I was busy that weekend, I couldn't go with her shopping.

When you are dating a girl and first getting to her, do not volunteer your free time outside the date. Your chick sounds like a princess if she can't take a bus to go shopping, that is an excuse for lazy people (I wonder how did she survive this far when you weren't in the picture??)

Originally posted by Mtrain
Before my second date with her she had asked to borrow my USB cable for my MP3 player. She was having trouble transferring music between her PC and her MP3 player, so she asked to borrow mine. Since I have an extra cable, I lent my cable to her. I spoke to her a couple of days ago and she mentioned about the cable and will return it to me the coming week when her final exams are over. I have plans of getting together with her and celebrating end of semester..

Don't give anything to a girl you just started dating. Keep it simple, you don't know her yet and you shouldn't trust her with your personal possessions. She can break up with you tomorow and go out with another guy and you will never see your USB cable again. Remember you two are not dating exclusively.

Originally posted by Mtrain
My question to you guys is do you think this girl I'm dating is a 'USER' and really has no romantic interest in me or perhaps those requests to drive her to go shopping are innocent? What kind of 'red flags' do you guys look out for to avoid getting involved with a 'user'?

Next time she asks you for a favour tell her that you are too buzy. If she gives you attitude then you know she is a user and you should next the b1tch!

 

[JackPrescott]

Originally posted by Mtrain
Hellow fellow DJ's, do you think this girl is a 'user'? Let me explain.. I met this girl at a party and so far i've gone out with her on 2 dates. One for dinner and one for lunch. During my first date with her she mentioned to me how difficult it was to go shopping by herself since she couldn't carry too many groceries by herself... So anyhow, after my first date with her, she had asked me if I would like to accompany her either to go shopping at the furniture store or go with her grocery shopping. She's a graduate student and she doesn't have a car. (I have a car though - both shopping trips would need a car since public transportation would be inconvenient for either venue.) Since I was busy that weekend, I couldn't go with her shopping.

I mentioned this to one of my close female buddies, and she tells me- "This girl is a 'USER'! why is she so dependent, and why can't she go shopping by herself!!" "Why is she asking you to go with her shopping after only the first date??" I thought to myself hmmm, maybe my buddy is right, or is she is overreacting to perhaps an innocent request???

Before my second date with her she had asked to borrow my USB cable for my MP3 player. She was having trouble transferring music between her PC and her MP3 player, so she asked to borrow mine. Since I have an extra cable, I lent my cable to her. I spoke to her a couple of days ago and she mentioned about the cable and will return it to me the coming week when her final exams are over. I have plans of getting together with her and celebrating end of semester..

My question to you guys is do you think this girl I'm dating is a 'USER' and really has no romantic interest in me or perhaps those requests to drive her to go shopping are innocent? What kind of 'red flags' do you guys look out for to avoid getting involved with a 'user'? Thanks in advance for your input! Mtrain

If you are having naked sleepover parties with her, no problem, continue to do her favors. If she wants to "LJBF" you, forget it, tell her to hire a cab company, or rent a car and a U-Haul.

 

[Reagan]

Originally posted by Mtrain
Hellow fellow DJ's, do you think this girl is a 'user'? Let me explain.. I met this girl at a party and so far i've gone out with her on 2 dates. One for dinner and one for lunch. During my first date with her she mentioned to me how difficult it was to go shopping by herself since she couldn't carry too many groceries by herself... So anyhow, after my first date with her, she had asked me if I would like to accompany her either to go shopping at the furniture store or go with her grocery shopping. She's a graduate student and she doesn't have a car. (I have a car though - both shopping trips would need a car since public transportation would be inconvenient for either venue.) Since I was busy that weekend, I couldn't go with her shopping.

I mentioned this to one of my close female buddies, and she tells me- "This girl is a 'USER'! why is she so dependent, and why can't she go shopping by herself!!" "Why is she asking you to go with her shopping after only the first date??" I thought to myself hmmm, maybe my buddy is right, or is she is overreacting to perhaps an innocent request???

Before my second date with her she had asked to borrow my USB cable for my MP3 player. She was having trouble transferring music between her PC and her MP3 player, so she asked to borrow mine. Since I have an extra cable, I lent my cable to her. I spoke to her a couple of days ago and she mentioned about the cable and will return it to me the coming week when her final exams are over. I have plans of getting together with her and celebrating end of semester..

My question to you guys is do you think this girl I'm dating is a 'USER' and really has no romantic interest in me or perhaps those requests to drive her to go shopping are innocent? What kind of 'red flags' do you guys look out for to avoid getting involved with a 'user'? Thanks in advance for your input! Mtrain

Girl: Do you want to come shopping with me?
Me: I'm not some bag carrying man, b¡tch!!! *Up comes the double middle fingers* I need monetary compensation.

That's how Jesus Christ would handle it.

 

[superchristx]

I say you can take her, but only AFTER you've fvcked her a couple times AND she's proven to be a good/giving lover. If she's the type of girl who doesn't give head, spreads her legs and says "lets get it over with" then no deal.


Really, you should be careful about the women you sleep with. You don't like this woman enough to carry her bags but you'll put your d!ck inside her? Sounds like you value your Volvo more than your pecker! I wouldn't sleep with a woman who I wouldn't do a favor for... but again that's not just any woman. Whatever your standards, I say it's okay to take her bags after you've closed the deal. Then at least she's using you for your car AND for sex.

ps. EVERYBODY is a user.

 

[Jamaicanballer]

There is this girl that I work with. She sees me everyday, but yet doesn't say a word to me. I try talking to her, I even tried to ask her out. She told me she had a boyfriend, but even before that she always asks me to get her food, but that is the only time she ever talks to me?

 

[Last Man Standing]

There is this girl that I work with. She sees me everyday, but yet doesn't say a word to me. I try talking to her, I even tried to ask her out. She told me she had a boyfriend, but even before that she always asks me to get her food, but that is the only time she ever talks to me?

Next time be prepared and have some food in the trunk of your car when she asks you again say "sure, I'll be right back". The food that you bring her and that is in your trunk and that which you give her is a small bag of dog food!!! She won't ask again!

 

[Potbelly]

There is this girl that I work with. She sees me everyday, but yet doesn't say a word to me. I try talking to her, I even tried to ask her out. She told me she had a boyfriend, but even before that she always asks me to get her food, but that is the only time she ever talks to me?

One time, a girl told me to throw something away and she was closer to the garbage than I was. The following takes place that day from 3:00PM to 4:00PM

Her: throw this away for me
Me: hey...you have some really nice legs...
Her: thanks
Me: now use them.
Her: :O

The end. No one shoudl use you as a doormat.

 

[juanita]

One time, a girl told me to throw something away and she was closer to the garbage than I was. The following takes place that day from 3:00PM to 4:00PM

Her: throw this away for me
Me: hey...you have some really nice legs...
Her: thanks
Me: now use them.
Her: :O

The end. No one shoudl use you as a doormat.

i wonder if u ever had a gf. sounds like a lonely angry loser

 

[KSoze]

i wonder if u ever had a gf. sounds like a lonely angry loser

What? I actually think this guy said the right thing...

 

[Deadly_Assassin]

its too early to say if shes a user or not. It might be that she is making excuses to spend more time with you? Does she ever offer to pay on the dates? Girls that have interest in you will offer to pay for the date out of courtesy even if they want you to pay for it. But eventually by the third or fourth date they do insist on paying and do actually do it.

 

[juanita]

What? I actually think this guy said the right thing...

well it depends what is the final purpose: to tease or insult a girl or to get into some kind of relathions with her.

 

[JonJack]

My question to you guys is do you think this girl I'm dating is a 'USER' and really has no romantic interest in me or perhaps those requests to drive her to go shopping are innocent? What kind of 'red flags' do you guys look out for to avoid getting involved with a 'user'? Thanks in advance for your input! Mtrain

Dude, you're going about this the wrong way.

You don't deny a person your help and assistance because you're afraid they're just using you.

And you don't render your help and assistance because you want someone to like and love and fvck you.

You do it because you want to and because you feel good doing it. If you're constantly worried about being used, my only advice would be to never offer your time and help to anyone. The fact is, everyone uses everyone they know for whatever purpose they have. It only becomes a problem to you when they use you in a way in which you do not like. If this girl is using you so that she knows whether you can be a dependable and helpful guy to her so that she can fvck you, then I'm sure you won't have any problem with that whatsoever. If she's using you so that she can have a new best buddy to hang with and do stuff with and relieve some of her burden, then you're probably gonna have a problem with that. Remember that it is never her fault for treating you that way. You just were looking at it differently. Besides, I don't blame a user. A user is smart because they can get what they want out of another person. The person getting used should know better than to rely on helping someone to get things from them.

The act of helping someone should give you a sense of happiness and joy directly after doing so. Not after the person you're helping fvcks you. Her fvcking you later on is like a bonus.

 

[Zonder]

user

well it depends what is the final purpose: to tease or insult a girl or to get into some kind of relathions with her.

It doesn't depend. His line was a classic.

But in response to the original post. Asking you to go shopping with her was hardly a sexual invitation. It's more likely that she was using you. Female friends are often good at analysing other women, if you handle them properly. Listen to your female buddy. The chick's probably a user. By the third date you must

Also, she said she didn't want to see you for a few weeks (until the end of the semester). That's definitely a red flag. On the other hand, maybe she's really overwhelmed with work, and by borrowing your cable she makes sure she'll be able to see you when she has more time. It's not likely, but it's possible. Sometimes chicks do logical stuff too.

I used to do stuff like that all the time. I didn't have a car, so I'd just ask chicks to give me a ride when I needed to move something. I made sure it was early on, before they figured out I didn't actually feel any sexual attraction.

I'll give you another hint. If you thought a chick was really hot, would you be thinking about her in terms of USB cables and furniture, or in terms of hot, steaming sex? Plus, you'd be worried that if you asked for a favor too early on, you might lose your chances.

Whatever you do, don't take her too seriously, and when you see her the third time make sure you get some action. If she doesn't want to make out by the third date, she's not interested.

 

[Tomatoes]

One time, a girl told me to throw something away and she was closer to the garbage than I was. The following takes place that day from 3:00PM to 4:00PM

Her: throw this away for me
Me: hey...you have some really nice legs...
Her: thanks
Me: now use them.
Her: :O

The end. No one shoudl use you as a doormat.

I think that is a very good response. Good use of C+F with a passive neg included. Fair play.

Back to the topic at hand. This girl is starting to show red flags as she is either a user or a highly dependant girl. Neither you want to get stuck in with. I would personally give her another chance (You need to get your USB back anyways). If this dependant/user behavior contiues. Next her.