Is this a test?

[Starrie]

She asked me to deliver food and sundries.

She underwent a surgery yesterday. This morning she called and asked me—Pretty please? It would mean the world to me—if I'd pick up and deliver some things because she's stuck in the house/doesn't want to go out while her face is freshly swollen. She also wanted me to drop the stuff and leave without seeing her, because she's embarrassed about her face. I only live five minutes down the road.

We just started. No sex yet.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Tough one.
Why can't she ask one of her girlfriends to run her errands? I'm leaning towards gracefully exiting the situation.
I'd feel like she was trying to make me her little lapdog errand boy, especially since you guys haven't fvcked yet. And she doesn't even want to see you when you deliver the goods? Fvck that.
Be strong and make an excuse for why you can't do it.
If she goes cold on you for not jumping through her bullsht hoop, then congratulations! You've just culled another unworthy bytch from your herd.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Nothing in life is free playa.

No sex no service. Since she has yet to suck your c0ck or bang you.. she hasn't earned the right to ask you for favors.

Tell her you can't do it. No justification is needed. Even if you agree to do it.. make sure you flake out when its time to show up. Give her a bullsh!t excuse if she questions you about it.. say you had to wash your car.

Women who are not boning you are not important.

 

[Starrie]

Why can't she ask one of her girlfriends to run her errands?

Normally, you'd be right. She moved here for work just over a month ago. So, not many friends.

I'd feel like she was trying to make me her little lapdog errand boy, especially since you guys haven't fvcked yet.

This is exactly what I kinda-sorta feel. I mean, she is genuinely post-surgery fvcked up, BUT she wasn't not in fact physically incapable of helping herself, just extremely self conscious.

No sex no service.

True.

Be strong and make an excuse for why you can't do it.

I'd already done it when I posted. I felt bad for her, and afterward wondered if I had just made myself a *****. Yep. Not good.

 

[Omerta]

Just tell her she has to pick up ingredients and cook for you at your place now.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Not so fast. How long have you been dating? If it's two dates then not having sex yet isn't a big deal. She just had surgery -- by not helping her you're potentially doing more harm than good.

 

[VladPatton]

Too late now, you did it. Once isn't a big deal, especially if it's 5 mins away. However, don't let her get used to the convenience, people forget your generosity when they get healthy again. Make sure you state "you owe me dinner when you get better" to let her know it's expected.

 

[Starrie]

The Plot Thickens

So last night I ended up in the ER with her.

She txted me at about 8:00pm.

HER: What kind of bribe would you take to come do me a favor? [she's still messed up, so I knew it wasn't that kind of invitation]
ME: Sorry Frank. I'm across town. What's up?
HER: Need some help. Something's wrong. Cant move well. Cant see much. I'm dizzy and coold. I think I should go to the hospital but I don't know.
ME: I guess I'll make a house call. I hope you can afford all the dinner you owe me at [5 star place we like]. ETA 30 min.

I call her when I arrive. She's locked the door but can't really get out of bed. She sounds in and out. She has a wicked cough and she's crying. I force her front door and go inside. She's a mess. She's all sweaty and dazed. I measure her temp at 106.1 so I call 9-1-1 and wait for the troops with her.

They wrap her up and I follow them to the hospital, wait for about an hour until I get called to her room to see her. They brought her temp down and she's a lot better. She has pneumonia, but she'll be ok. We talk a bit in the room, trade some jokes. They want to keep her for a few hours. I go home to shower and come back to pick her up and drive her home.

Today I txt her to check up, and tease her a little of course. She's perky. Implies some things. "I hope you know what it means that you saved me hun "

I don't know what to do next. Should I call her tonight?
I'm thinking maybe maintain radio silence on my end all day tomorrow and call if I don't hear from her by 7:00 or maybe 8:00. Any ideas?

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

You are in a tricky situation.

A lot of advice on not doing favors for women assumes (1) you are not in a relationship with them yet and (2) the situation is "normal", i.e., she's healthy and capable of doing things herself and doesn't really need you to jump through a hoop.

At the same time, guys on these forums remind each other that women like strong men who can be their rock, can stay calm in the storm, provide protection and safety.

A man takes care of those around him. Though you are not banging this girl, she has a real debilitation and needs help, especially as she is new to the area.

But, since you are just starting out with her, you providing her help she really needs could set a precedent where she thinks you are pushover. Ideally, she'll give you credit for being there when she has an honest to goodness need for assistance and you stepped up like a man should.

That said, if you are at her beck-and-call she'll see a needy guy with little going on whose desperate to please.

You have a fine line to straddle here.

From what I've read, you seem to be doing okay.

Don't call her constantly and see how she's doing. If she's in real need, tell her you'll help her but (like you did) tell her it will have to wait a bit until you've got the time (and hour or two, or whatever).

If you have to bring her something, don't stay at her place hovering for hours and hours. Drop it off and go after about 30 minutes.

Remind her gently here and there (like you have) that your favors will "cost" her, i.e., making dinner or something. When she's well enough to go out again, it's going to be her treat, not your's. You've done your work.

 

[Greasy Pig]

The more I think about this, the more I can see the OP posting very soon about how he dropped by to see how she was and finds her with some guy's c0ck in her mouth.
I'm not being a smart arse. It's just the nature of women to convince a guy to do nice things for them with the faint promise of some sweet poontang, and then turn around and give it up to some arsehole who told her to harden the fvck up when she had asked him to help her out.
I really, really hope I'm wrong.

 

[supadocnz]

Come on guys. Not everything in life regarding women are "tests"

If your guy friend just had surgery and asked you to do favors or if your guy friend is really sick asked you to come check up on him, what would you do? You go and help. That's what friends are for - regardless of whether they are guys or girls, hot or ugly.

Help them and help them because you want to, not because you want any "favors" in return.

Asking or expecting favors in return is what AFC's do.

 

[Igetit!]

While I agree that her asking the Op to do random things for her isn't good,what I'd REALLY like to know is.......WHEN did all these requests start?


Surely he knew her BEFORE she had surgery and before she got pneumonia. So how was she then....was she asking all these favors when she was well,or did they just start when her health started to decline?

 

[Trump]

As above. You have to be careful here as well, she is not emotionally connected to you as haven't had sex yet and she hasn't spent money on you. There is no reason for her to talk to you once she is well.

My brothers wife married her boyfriend 3 hours after she killed him and got all his money....perfectly legal and the law couldn't marry them fast enough. Don't trust anyone.

 

[Starrie]

WHEN did all these requests start?

First time was when she asked me to bring that stuff last week.

At the same time, guys on these forums remind each other that women like strong men who can be their rock, can stay calm in the storm, provide protection and safety.

A man takes care of those around him. Though you are not banging this girl, she has a real debilitation and needs help, especially as she is new to the area.

^^This. I've been hoping things are in this state.