Is this a good thing or a bad thing to hear?

[JCballin88]

One of the girls I've been seeing lately says things like this a lot (mostly via text) :

"You're impossible to figure out"
"You're so confusing"
"Has anyone ever told you you're extremely frustrating?"

I think the reason she's saying things like this is because I am trying to dodge exclusivity with her while keeping my stoke in the fire with a couple other options.

But anyways what are your takes on things like this? Good or bad? I was thinking after reading Pook/DJ Bible that it's generally good to be a bit mysterious and such...but I also don't want to completely mind**** them so much that they're unwilling to hang out (although that hasn't been a problem so far).

Thoughts?

 

[window]

this is a good thing...it is her way of saying I like you and she has positive feelings. She is also fishing for your feelings. Dont give them to her. Just keep what you are doing until she asks for a relationship at which time you make the decision...at some point you will need to let her know though. It can be as simple as hey I enjoy your company but I want to date a few girls at the moment you included. As long as you are honest she wont mind.

 

[YAboi]

It is not good cos you are not being totally honest and exclusive. When ur like this you eventually hurt women and turn them to bitter creatures.

 

[floydb25]

It's not what they say that's important - its how they respond via actions. Is this actually turning women off, and causing them to lose interest, or does it bother them, while maintaining high interest? That's the real question. A lot of what bothers people attracts them. It keeps them guessing; something to figure out and dissect. I'd wager that, even though it bothers them, they're still pursuing you. Whereas, if you were open and honest, you'd get the opposite results.

 

[pdx1138]

You can't lose when a woman says such things. They are hot to trot for you for sure.

You can when she drops the exclusivity bomb and you decide not to and she chooses to move on to someone else....thats the only negative I see.

 

[JCballin88]

You can when she drops the exclusivity bomb and you decide not to and she chooses to move on to someone else....thats the only negative I see.

Ironic you should say this because that's exactly what just happened and I lost her when I basically said "sorry, I'm not ready to be exclusive with anyone right now..."

 

[YAboi]

Ironic you should say this because that's exactly what just happened and I lost her when I basically said "sorry, I'm not ready to be exclusive with anyone right now..."

You were apologetic/too brash in your Expression of honesty and this coupled with your skepticism of losing her, led to her being put off. That's my assumption. It's the emotiOn behind what u say that matters with women.

 

[Desdinova]

When a woman focuses energy on trying to figure you out, it means she's obsessing about you. Obsession leads to attraction.

 

[Halcyonique]

The things that go through my mind when I hear women say things like this:

"You're impossible to figure out" - Shakes her head and walks away.
"You're so confusing" - Exasperated tone, at a bit of a loss.
"Has anyone ever told you you're extremely frustrating?" - Extremely angry, walks off.

Of course, don't take those as definitive, by any means, but I can't envisage rampant sex or passionate kissing paired with any of those quotes. Look at what they are telling you. Confusion and frustration (with the person, rather than for the person) aren't generally compatible with arousal.

But really, it entirely depends on your experiences of these things: how DID these women react to you? The proof is in the pudding.

 

[st_99]

"Has anyone ever told you you're extremely frustrating?"

Last time i said this about a girl it was because I had extreme oneitis over her. So, I would say its a good thing.

 

[Zarky]

It is not good cos you are not being totally honest and exclusive. When ur like this you eventually hurt women and turn them to bitter creatures.

I assume this is a joke or a troll.

Yes, OP, those are good things to hear.

 

[PapiChulo]

Ironic you should say this because that's exactly what just happened and I lost her when I basically said "sorry, I'm not ready to be exclusive with anyone right now..."

She ll be back, just dont run after her and lay low.

 

[floydb25]

Ironic you should say this because that's exactly what just happened and I lost her when I basically said "sorry, I'm not ready to be exclusive with anyone right now..."

Exactly... So, when she couldn't figure you out - she was intrigued. When you came out and told her what was up - she lost interest. Even if you came out and admitted your interest to her, and said you wanted to be exclusive - I can almost guarantee that her interest would still drop.

Girls used to tell me all kinds of things in this same vein. "You're so difficult, You seem like a player who likes messing with girls emotions, I cant figure you out, this is bothering me and I want to know"... When I came out and admitted my interest, it changed to "You already like me, it doesn't bother me, do what you want, we're just friends". The same people who were previously chasing with incredible zeal when I was being confusing! It happened countless times. Back and forth based on how I was acting.

These same girls would do the same things about their exes, or other guys. "He's such a jerk, I can't figure him out", etc, as they were pursuing them harder - while feeding the same " yeah, but you already like me" lines to whoever was open and available.

 

[YAboi]

I assume this is a joke or a troll.

Yes, OP, those are good things to hear.

It's not a joke Zarky. It's said in a vague manner I'll admit but I'm too tired to start explaining myself. I will say though that once you learn basic DJ principles you should just show presence of having a backbone and be honest in your interactions with women.

 

[DJDamage]

When a woman focuses energy on trying to figure you out, it means she's obsessing about you. Obsession leads to attraction.

This.

 

[JCballin88]

Thanks for the input guys. Basically this chick has been texting me a lot since initially saying like "well it's been real, cya around" in a this-is-over kind of tone.

Now she's coming back and saying things like "I'm just confused...I really liked you a lot...and you kissed me and initiated everything physical...so why would you do that if you don't want me..."

Now this chick does have a few loose screws and I really can't envision myself dating her long-term. But I'm afraid that I have done even more damage here. Unfortunately we do have to see each other one afternoon a week at work.

She's been really flip-floppy in her messages...like she suggested just cutting off contact and only interacting when we absolutely have to that one day per week. I said "well hey I'm fine with it your way, but if you DO want to see me outside of that, it's an option" and kinda left it at that. But I can tell that she is still thinking about me like crazy since she keeps texting me...grrrrr

 

[nismo-4]

It's a good thing! But, remember that these are words, not actions. Watch her body language and tone of voice.

Still, don't get lost in translation. Keep on truckin'! She seems attracted to you.

Stay mysterious and exciting. That's my ruling.

Case closed. Good luck on this girl!

 

[pdx1138]

A final statement, if it pleases the court...

yeah pay only attention to her actions....pretend what she is texting or saying is all a lie or made up.

I once had a girl tell me she moved on and was done with me.

2 weeks later we were in bed and every other weekend for the rest of that year.

 

[nismo-4]

A final statement, if it pleases the court...

yeah pay only attention to her actions....pretend what she is texting or saying is all a lie or made up.

I once had a girl tell me she moved on and was done with me.

2 weeks later we were in bed and every other weekend for the rest of that year.

It pleases the court so much this is going to my files!

Judge by actions, not by words.

And this gets repped!:rockon:

 

[Zarky]

It's not a joke Zarky. It's said in a vague manner I'll admit but I'm too tired to start explaining myself. I will say though that once you learn basic DJ principles you should just show presence of having a backbone and be honest in your interactions with women.

You're 23, I'm 36. I've been dating seriously since you were wearing diapers. Talk less, listen more.