Is this a friendzone text or just some casual womenese “she says what thinks is right”

[BackInTheGame78]

This, but ONLY because you're already sort of on the hook to hang out with her. She doesn't really want to hang out either, ironically, lol

I think there is a high probability of a flake incoming on her end.

 

[Robert28]

This is the definition of a friendzone text. Why would you be friends with someone you barely know?

It’s an indirect friendzone, kinda wordy. The telling part was when she said “I like to get to know someone and start out as friends”. She’s been on dates with you and just now saying this? Not good. If she’s said it before the first date that’s one thing.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

So I’ve been dating this girl for about a month now, we’ve been on 3 dates. On the second date she suggested to sleep over at my place. Did not have s3x because she was on her period. Third date, went out drinking with her, her cousin and room mate.

I texted her yesterday to make plans for Saturday to which she said she had plans and errands to do that day but suggested to hang out Friday instead.

Then I received this text message from her (photo attached below)

On the first two dates, she’s been showing high interest, asking many questions, paying for rounds of drinks, kissing, touching etc.

On the third date we kissed here and there but I did not get to isolate her as much and did not escalate the sexual tension. I know I shouldn’t have hung out with her and her friends if we still haven’t had sex yet but it is what it is.

My dilema is, if she’s friendzoning me, why would she still suggest to hang out if she’s unavailable on the day I asked ?

See her text below along with my response

Two options (among others):

1) If my interest is low, I reply with "K" and let her take the initiative for the next date (Stop doing group hangouts and escalate when appropriate).
2) If my interest is high, I agree, amplify, and minimize my attention/availability to the girl (still avoid group hangouts, focus on 1 on 1 hangout, and prioritize physical and verbal escalation to avoid her seeing me with friend eyes).

Girls tend to make up their minds about whether you can be a potential sexual/romantic partner or not the first or second time they meet you. But if she has several options (which sounds like she does) then she will continue to asses you until she feels too invested in you to give you priority. You are far from this which is essential to stop being too available and over-invested.

 

[The Duke]

Girls that are really hot for you will never risk losing you... for example putting off sex, putting off dates, changing date venues, bringing her friends on dates.

 

[LTG71]

I hear you man, I agree also... What would you do in my position? Cancel tonight? Or continue to try and escalate?

I’d back off and let her miss you for a little bit. Her reaction will tell you where you stand. Women are stupid this way, they get turned off if a guy is too interested. Make her work for your time.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Just read that text. She put a bit of effort into saying "I don't want to have sex".

Imo she's trying to use OP for emotional healing. To make herself feel good again about guys in general.

OP this girl is a trap.

 

[Lover_boy]

She just left my apartment, she came over and I made some ****tails for us. We talked all night, music and made out. I can tell she likes me by the way she kisses me. She said she couldn’t spend the night “had to meet her gf early in the am”

She’s going away to her home state Tennessee for the next month so I won’t be seeing her for at least a month and a half.

That should be enough time to back off and let her miss me for a bit

 

[BillyPilgrim]

She just left my apartment, she came over and I made some ****tails for us. We talked all night, music and made out. I can tell she likes me by the way she kisses me. She said she couldn’t spend the night “had to meet her gf early in the am”

She’s going away to her home state Tennessee for the next month so I won’t be seeing her for at least a month and a half.

That should be enough time to back off and let her miss me for a bit

And time for you to game other girls

 

[Stanley]

She just left my apartment, she came over and I made some ****tails for us. We talked all night, music and made out. I can tell she likes me by the way she kisses me. She said she couldn’t spend the night “had to meet her gf early in the am”

She’s going away to her home state Tennessee for the next month so I won’t be seeing her for at least a month and a half.

That should be enough time to back off and let her miss me for a bit

should've smashed tbh

 

[Lover_boy]

should've smashed tbh

Yeah but if she says she has to go I’m not gonna beg her to stay. She can leave

 

[Stanley]

Yeah but if she says she has to go I’m not gonna beg her to stay. She can leave

Sure, but she'd be thinking about you alot more if you hit it

 

[Dr.Suave]

She said she couldn’t spend the night “had to meet her gf early in the am”

In these situations you could try to Ignore and continue escalating. With your words you can say something like "Yeah, of course. We dont have to do anything. Your should probably get going." But while you are saying these words, you are kissing her neck or something, make her horny.

 

[Lover_boy]

Sure, but she'd be thinking about you alot more if you hit it

Oh definitely

I’m getting “taking it slow” kinda of vibes from her

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She just left my apartment, she came over and I made some ****tails for us. We talked all night, music and made out. I can tell she likes me by the way she kisses me. She said she couldn’t spend the night “had to meet her gf early in the am”

She’s going away to her home state Tennessee for the next month so I won’t be seeing her for at least a month and a half.

That should be enough time to back off and let her miss me for a bit

But you didn't fvck her.

If your goal is to get to first base mission accomplished. That's the goal for the first date, not the 4th.

 

[Lover_boy]

But you didn't fvck her.

If your goal is to get to first base mission accomplished. That's the goal for the first date, not the 4th.

You're right, would you say that in these types of situations to just escalate and seduce until she gives in or tells you to stop?

 

[Stanley]

You're right, would you say that in these types of situations to just escalate and seduce until she gives in or tells you to stop?

I mean don't go TOO far but I believe it was Roger Alan Currie who is quoted saying

"Make the hoe say no"

 

[Dr.Suave]

You're right, would you say that in these types of situations to just escalate and seduce until she gives in or tells you to stop?

Yes. Until she gives in or tells you to stop, but she has to tell you stop with her actions, not her words.

Her words could be saying "no, stop" but her tone of voice and body language could be saying hell yeah give me some vitamin D!!!!!

 

[Dr.Suave]

in the US, you are looking at serious criminal liability if you dont take the words VERY seriously.

If you say so. You guys should be careful then.

 

[BadBoy89]

in the US, you are looking at serious criminal liability if you dont take the words VERY seriously.

If she is fertile and / or hot.

If she is over 38 or fat, you got leeway. They don’t care as much then,

 

[Bingo-Player]

Whenever you get this, always agree and amplify. "Yes, I know what you mean and I think we need to dial back how often we're seeing each other. I feel like this is moving way too fast." Then stop texting altogether until your next date and become very unavailable in general. Watch her head spin off.

Regardless, this chick is feeling out her options and I wouldn't do anything more with her other than give her plate status. She clearly wants to play the field.

i would have just done the above