Is this a friendzone text or just some casual womenese “she says what thinks is right”

[Lover_boy]

So I’ve been dating this girl for about a month now, we’ve been on 3 dates. On the second date she suggested to sleep over at my place. Did not have s3x because she was on her period. Third date, went out drinking with her, her cousin and room mate.

I texted her yesterday to make plans for Saturday to which she said she had plans and errands to do that day but suggested to hang out Friday instead.

Then I received this text message from her (photo attached below)

On the first two dates, she’s been showing high interest, asking many questions, paying for rounds of drinks, kissing, touching etc.

On the third date we kissed here and there but I did not get to isolate her as much and did not escalate the sexual tension. I know I shouldn’t have hung out with her and her friends if we still haven’t had sex yet but it is what it is.

My dilema is, if she’s friendzoning me, why would she still suggest to hang out if she’s unavailable on the day I asked ?

See her text below along with my response

 

[Mike32ct]

The third date being a "group date" sort of broke the momentum you two had.

It's good that she counter-offered to Friday.

Anyway, I won't say she friendzoned (FZ) you just yet. But it is definitely on the edge of FZ and is concerning.

Better get at least a decent makeout on this next date or I'd start looking for the door. It's unlikely that she's going to have sex with you on this next date based on what she said.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Ignore her friendzoning text. Just keep escalating

 

[Robert28]

I’m different than most on here but I wouldn’t even go out with her again. She hasn’t friendzoned you but you’re on the path, that’s why I wouldn’t waste my time or money bothering with another date.

 

[FlirtLife]

Your "kissing, touching" sounds like more than friends:
"On the first two dates ... kissing, touching"
"Third date, went out drinking with her, her cousin and room mate ... we kissed here and there"

"she suggested to sleep over at my place". I think you two went back to your place, and were again kissing and touching. Then she said "she was on her period". I claim she paused at this point and waited for you to make a decision. Hm, what do we do about this ... You decided "her period" was a problem, agreeing with her it was a problem. But if you were okay with it, you two would have had s3x. She let you make the decision.

If you want a "friends with benefits", you should keep seeing this girl. You can see other people, and she can see other people. She does not want to get involved "romantically" in an exclusive "relationship", and for some reason she thinks "dating" is part of that. Don't get hung up on the word "dating", though. This is non-exclusive friends with benefits that is not going "to the next level".

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You friendzoned yourself just like I told you was going to happen in the other thread. Constantly available at the drop of a hat to hang out with her = she knows you are thirsty and it dried her pvssy up faster than a sunny day in the desert.

 

[FlirtLife]

You friendzoned yourself just like I told you was going to happen in the other thread. Constantly available at the drop of a hat to hang out with her = she knows you are thirsty and it dried her pvssy up faster than a sunny day in the desert.

How often are you "kissing, touching" with your male friends?
Do any of those guys "suggested to sleep over at my place. Did not have s3x because she was on her period"?

 

[Lover_boy]

"she suggested to sleep over at my place". I think you two went back to your place, and were again kissing and touching. Then she said "she was on her period". I claim she paused at this point and waited for you to make a decision. Hm, what do we do about this ... You decided "her period" was a problem, agreeing with her it was a problem. But if you were okay with it, you two would have had s3x. She let you make the decision.

Well at the end of the night on our second date, I was on my way to drop her off and she suggested in the car, "how about I sleep over at your place"? "But I cant have sex cause im on my period". I said sure thats fine with me. We drank tequila shots until 6am, made out with no pants on and then she went to my bed and k.o. The next day I found a tampon in my bathroom trash.

I think she wants to make it clear that she wants to keep her options open and be non-exclusive. Perhaps she's used to guys getting clingy after a couple "romantic" dates.

 

[Lover_boy]

You friendzoned yourself just like I told you was going to happen in the other thread. Constantly available at the drop of a hat to hang out with her = she knows you are thirsty and it dried her pvssy up faster than a sunny day in the desert.

Lmao thanks bro...

Just gotta bring A game tonight lol

 

[Robert28]

How often are you "kissing, touching" with your male friends?
Do any of those guys "suggested to sleep over at my place. Did not have s3x because she was on her period"?

If friendzoning myself is not sleeping with a woman on her period then oh well. That’s just nasty.

 

[LTG71]

I used to hang with this woman on the regular and one day she says, “I don’t want to be exclusive“. She then started making these same types of excuses. She only wanted to hang out if we were in a group setting. The group setting was a buffer to stop any type of escalation or closeness. I said fine. I don’t care for group settings because you can’t really get to focus on one person when everyone is there, watching and listening. After this I basically said fvck this and stopped giving her any of my time and attention. Few years have passed and now she’ll randomly say, ”I’d like to eat lunch together.” I’m thinking, “nah, I’m good”.

Think of how many hours we have in a day. “Yoga on Sunday”. That is one hour out of 16 if she sleeps 8 hours. “I have errands.” What, are you going to Target for several hours? Think about all the passions you have in life. You might get up at 3am to drive to the mountains to go skiing this weekend. You would do whatever it takes to fill that desire. Doesn‘t matter how tired you might be or how long you could be stuck on the road. This chic Is like, “ah, I’m kinda busy. I gotta wash my hair tomorrow.”

I hear the friendzone a comin'
It's rolling round the bend
And I’ve seen this type of bullish!t since I don't know when

 

[Barrister]

Whenever you get this, always agree and amplify. "Yes, I know what you mean and I think we need to dial back how often we're seeing each other. I feel like this is moving way too fast." Then stop texting altogether until your next date and become very unavailable in general. Watch her head spin off.

Regardless, this chick is feeling out her options and I wouldn't do anything more with her other than give her plate status. She clearly wants to play the field.

 

[Lover_boy]

I used to hang with this woman on the regular and one day she says, “I don’t want to be exclusive“. She then started making these same types of excuses. She only wanted to hang out if we were in a group setting. The group setting was a buffer to stop any type of escalation or closeness. I said fine. I don’t care for group settings because you can’t really get to focus on one person when everyone is there, watching and listening. After this I basically said fvck this and stopped giving her any of my time and attention. Few years have passed and now she’ll randomly say, ”I’d like to eat lunch together.” I’m thinking, “nah, I’m good”.

Think of how many hours we have in a day. “Yoga on Sunday”. That is one hour out of 16 if she sleeps 8 hours. “I have errands.” What, are you going to Target for several hours? Think about all the passions you have in life. You might get up at 3am to drive to the mountains to go skiing this weekend. You would do whatever it takes to fill that desire. Doesn‘t matter how tired you might be or how long you could be stuck on the road. This chic Is like, “ah, I’m kinda busy. I gotta wash my hair tomorrow.”

I hear the friendzone a comin'
It's rolling round the bend
And I’ve seen this type of bullish!t since I don't know when

I hear you man, I agree also... What would you do in my position? Cancel tonight? Or continue to try and escalate?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

How often are you "kissing, touching" with your male friends?
Do any of those guys "suggested to sleep over at my place. Did not have s3x because she was on her period"?

OP had a shot and once he showed he was far more invested than he should be at this stage, her pvssy dried up. This is a common thing...guys get overexcited that something seems to be going well and basically jump into the deep end of the pool with no lifejacket on instead of dipping their toe in and pulling it back out for a bit before entering.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If friendzoning myself is not sleeping with a woman on her period then oh well. That’s just nasty.

No, it had nothing to do with that(well maybe a little...and how did he know she wasn't full of sh!t about that? It's a common thing for a woman to say even when they aren't to avoid escalation), friendzoning himself was him jumping at a chance to hang out on no notice with her and a few others. OP showed he was too thirsty and had nothing better to do or anything else going on other than to spend time with her.

This was a trap she laid to see how invested he was and he walked right into it.

Guys don't seem to understand that women do things to disqualify men within the first month of dating to ensure they aren't wasting time with someone who is too needy/desperate/clingy/etc

 

[Lover_boy]

No, it had nothing to do with that(well maybe a little...and how did he know she wasn't full of sh!t about that? It's a common thing for a woman to say even when they aren't to avoid escalation), friendzoning himself was him jumping at a chance to hang out on no notice with her and a few others. OP showed he was too thirsty and had nothing better to do or anything else going on other than to spend time with her.

This was a trap she laid to see how invested he was and he walked right into it.

Guys don't seem to understand that women do things to disqualify men within the first month of dating to ensure they aren't wasting time with someone who is too needy/desperate/clingy/etc

So what would you do ? Cancel tonight or keep it and seduce ?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

So what would you do ? Cancel tonight or keep it and seduce ?

If you are hanging out again then I would try again. Maybe she is testing to see if you will still try to go for it or not.

If you get shot down again then you were already friendzoned anyway, there isn't really a downside.

 

[Robert28]

If you are hanging out again then I would try again. Maybe she is testing to see if you will still try to go for it or not.

If you get shot down again then you were already friendzoned anyway, there isn't really a downside.

This. But I would add plan a cheap ass date, just so incase it doesn’t go like you want you aren’t out hardly any money. Maybe she will offer to split the bill since she said she likes starting out as friends, friends don’t pay for friends when they hangout.

 

[kavi]

So what would you do ? Cancel tonight or keep it and seduce ?

Bro you dont need to 'seduce' imo. This just looks like the problem here. Idk the background like other posters but it could just be that she wants to take things slow, sometimes women are in an emotional place where they wanna move slow, other times they want to move quick. Maybe she had some experience of guys pumping and dumping.

All you gotta do is as the other posters have said, move slow, dont jump in, dont be too available, but also imo there is no need to try and escalate at every chance, cos that can push her away too. You dont need to cancel, go on the date, have fun, escalate a bit but definitely tone it down cos she literally told you she dont wanna bang soon so you pushing for that kinda makes you a bit desperate and I can guarantee that will friendzone you even faster.

Men need to understand that one can be friendzoned by being too desperate and wanting it too much ie too much 'masculinity' and its important to have pride and self-respect and not want to do it with someone unless they are 100% wanting it too.

 

[The Duke]

My dilema is, if she’s friendzoning me, why would she still suggest to hang out if she’s unavailable on the day I asked ?

Because, women are rarely direct. Her being indirect and not being 100% honest in her communication keeps her safe. She doesn't have to listen and feel hurt when you get mad that she doesn't want to go out anymore. This is a slow fade that is best for her. She would prefer you just go away.

Plus she doesn't want to stop the attention. She'll take the free attention(texts messages) all day long if she doesn't have to fuhk or hang out with you.

Your best move is to cancel your plans with her at the last minute, and don't talk to her for several days. Hit her up in 10 days. Then set up a date and make sure you fuhk.

With all that said, this girls interest level isn't as high as it should be. I'd spend my time looking for other girls and forget this one.

Judge a woman by her actions, not her words. They make a lot more sense this way. They are all great actors. Either they follow your lead or you find another one. None are all that special.

And don't do anymore of those dates with her friends. One, they aren't conducive to sehx. Two, her friends will determine your fate and you will be judged. Women(her friends) have a hard time containing jealousy and being fair so they'll paint you in a negative light. Wait until a girl is more invested in you before you hang out with her friends.