Is there such thing as waiting too long to reply to a text?

[pikachu69]

Can you wait too long to reply to a text?

I know the mistake I've been making is replying to texts too quickly (either immediately if she replies immediately or within and hour or within a few hours of same day)

If her interest has dropped or you are negotiating a time to meet up again can waiting an extra day p1ss her off?

I'm just thinking to what happened last week where this HB counter offered a day after cancelling, I couldn't do it so i offered a different day, she said she couldn't do that but instead of offering another day she put it back on me to offer 'another day?'

She sent this that evening, I didn't want to reply there and then cos I'd look too available and I didn't reply the next day as I should, I replied the day after telling her to make it Saturday evening (I didn't say is that ok or whatever just straight make it sat evening 9pm).

She never replied, I saw her while out on Sat and she was avoiding me pretending not to see me etc.

Can you really p1ss a girl off by waiting too long to reply i.e. she thinks you're playing games rather than just being busy?

 

[YouKnowI'mRight]

Can you wait too long to reply to a text?

I know the mistake I've been making is replying to texts too quickly (either immediately if she replies immediately or within and hour or within a few hours of same day)

If her interest has dropped or you are negotiating a time to meet up again can waiting an extra day p1ss her off?

I'm just thinking to what happened last week where this HB counter offered a day after cancelling, I couldn't do it so i offered a different day, she said she couldn't do that but instead of offering another day she put it back on me to offer 'another day?'

She sent this that evening, I didn't want to reply there and then cos I'd look too available and I didn't reply the next day as I should, I replied the day after telling her to make it Saturday evening (I didn't say is that ok or whatever just straight make it sat evening 9pm).

She never replied, I saw her while out on Sat and she was avoiding me pretending not to see me etc.

Can you really p1ss a girl off by waiting too long to reply i.e. she thinks you're playing games rather than just being busy?

It doesn't matter what she thinks, it's not like you were setting up your wedding day. Obviously, she was emotionally effected by you.

I AM busy 90% of the time and I only take care of texting and email when I'm done with important things. I hate texting as well as emailing people I know in RL that aren't very far in location away from me. So, my email doesn't beep on my computer, and my text is set to silent on my phone.

Some women get upset when they first start texting me since I only notice and text back a few times a day. This isn't a bad thing at all because they're quite embarrassed later when they biatch about it in front of people I know and they say "he's busy most of the time, he does that to everybody". I just smile

If you want a texting relationship, text a lot and reply quickly. If you'd rather actually be with girls, text rarely, only about important things, and be brief. Also, if it's a nonsense text like "if you liked me you'd text back faster" I DO NOT REPLY. This is just the same as if I was given a shait test like that in person.

 

[Iceberg]

I'm not sure if a delayed response would pi$$ a girl off, but why wait to reply?

I have no problem with replying immediately to texts. Just keep the texting short--use it as means of establishing a few pleasantries and setting up a date. When you ask her to meet up, you'll know very quickly if she's interested. I have no problem responding quickly and asking for a meetup right then and there. No delays, etc.

The problem I see with texting is that guys rely on it as a conversation piece. They want to show off their humor and wit, and they often shoot themselves in the foot.

I'm proud to say that I'm a pretty boring texter. I save the humor and wit for the face-to-face encounter.

+1

If you have to even think about "Should I text 60 minutes later or 120 minutes later?" then you're already operating from a losing position.

You're worried about appearing desperate, I know. But that isn't expressed through replying too quickly. Desperation is expressed through texting all day. Sending a girl smiley faces. All that nonsense.

Either way, it doesn't sound like your girl got pissed off at you because of texting. She just wasn't interested.

 

[pikachu69]

This makes sense. But what if a girl then THINKS you are playing games?

It might be a turn off, I dont know what's going on in their head.

Especially if I'm normally replying quite swiftly or what not.

I don't use texting to conversate to make that clear, only to set up dates, confirm times etc. The only time I do 'conversate' so to speak is if i haven't contacted for a while and don't want to go straight into a date time location text as it seems a bit too desperate.

 

[pikachu69]

I'm not sure if a delayed response would pi$$ a girl off, but why wait to reply?

I have no problem with replying immediately to texts. Just keep the texting short--use it as means of establishing a few pleasantries and setting up a date. When you ask her to meet up, you'll know very quickly if she's interested. I have no problem responding quickly and asking for a meetup right then and there. No delays, etc.

The problem I see with texting is that guys rely on it as a conversation piece. They want to show off their humor and wit, and they often shoot themselves in the foot.

I'm proud to say that I'm a pretty boring texter. I save the humor and wit for the face-to-face encounter.

I dont want to come across too available. Like for instance say I text her at lunch during the day and say I made plans that evening, and she texts me in the evening, I'm not going to reply straight away purely because it looks like I am stopping whatever I'm doing to text her.

At the same time if she starts thinking I'm playing games (I am technically) I dont know if that's going to work in my favor or against. I'm just thinking that if i usually reply within a few hours, at most that night and I wait till the next day to do it, is this going to p1ss her off and she won't like me anymore just on basis of pettiness?

 

[Iceberg]

This makes sense. But what if a girl then THINKS you are playing games?

What if a girl THINKS you are an alien from outerspace?

Who gives a sh*t, man? If she thinks you are playing games, then she won't date you. Or she will. Or...who freakin knows.

We're talking about a girl you haven't even banged. so why are you thinking so deeply about this? Either she will date you or she won't. Wondering about when to text her, or if she thinks you're playing games is just a waste of time. Maybe she never wanted you in the first place.

If you think you waited too long to text, then just don't do the same thing with the next girl. But for the love of god, stop all this worrying about ONE girl. She will not make or break you. "Ohh some girl I barely know might be mad at me." Boo hoo.

 

[pikachu69]

What if a girl THINKS you are an alien from outerspace?

Who gives a sh*t, man? If she thinks you are playing games, then she won't date you. Or she will. Or...who freakin knows.

We're talking about a girl you haven't even banged. so why are you thinking so deeply about this? Either she will date you or she won't. Wondering about when to text her, or if she thinks you're playing games is just a waste of time. Maybe she never wanted you in the first place.

If you think you waited too long to text, then just don't do the same thing with the next girl. But for the love of god, stop all this worrying about ONE girl. She will not make or break you. "Ohh some girl I barely know might be mad at me." Boo hoo.

Yeah you're right.


Didn't someone say though that if you wait a little longer to text a reply than normal it helps? i.e. creates anxiety especially if you've been so keen and swift to reply before.

I'm trying to not come across too eager and available this time.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Yeah you're right.


Didn't someone say though that if you wait a little longer to text a reply than normal it helps? i.e. creates anxiety especially if you've been so keen and swift to reply before.

I'm trying to not come across too eager and available this time.

About 4 or 5 people came here and gave you pretty much every piece of advice on texting imaginable.

Can you be THIS incapable of figuring out the rest on your own?

Do what you want to do. Just stop asking the same stupid question 50 different ways.

 

[HariPoter13]

@Espi & Iceberg: Thanks for the advice, twas just what I needed. I too suck at texting.

 

[tafakna]

I'm just thinking to what happened last week where this HB counter offered a day after cancelling, I couldn't do it so i offered a different day, she said she couldn't do that but instead of offering another day she put it back on me to offer 'another day?'

I replied the day after telling her to make it Saturday evening (I didn't say is that ok or whatever just straight make it sat evening 9pm).

She never replied, I saw her while out on Sat and she was avoiding me pretending not to see me etc.

The issue here has nothing to do with taking too long to reply.

She has cancelled a date, didn't take on your offer for the alternative date, and then ignored the offer for Saturday.

She probably thinks you're a nice guy, but she's not interested.

She avoided you on Saturday because it was an awkward situation.

People should use more of a Occam's Razor principle. The issue here is her lack of interest, not the exact timing of text replies.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Well, again:

The key, in my opinion, is to keep the texts minimal. Save the good stuff for the dates.

But I generally like to respond (MINIMALLY!) to all texts. Sometimes I'll text back within a minute; other times, I'll wait several hours. But I'll always keep it short and sweet, and after a couple of texts back and forth, I'll simply stop texting.

:yes:
That's the way to handle it, in my opinion.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

Wait what? Who cares what she thinks, go for it.

Yes there is too long to wait for a text. If she's sitting in a retirement home when you finaly get around to replying obviously you have crossed that line.l

 

[pikachu69]

The issue here has nothing to do with taking too long to reply.

She has cancelled a date, didn't take on your offer for the alternative date, and then ignored the offer for Saturday.

She probably thinks you're a nice guy, but she's not interested.

She avoided you on Saturday because it was an awkward situation.

People should use more of a Occam's Razor principle. The issue here is her lack of interest, not the exact timing of text replies.

She counter offered with another day, i said i couldn't do it and said to make it Friday, she said she couldnt do Friday and said 'another day?' that's when i waited a couple days before offering Saturday.. no wait actually it was Sunday I offered (i remember this cos i didn't want to make it seem i had fri and sat free)

then i see her in town in the coffee shop where i picked her up in exact same place, go in to use the bathroom she pretends to be reading the newspaper and pulls it up covering her face then when i come out she's looking down.. i go to her 'hey' and wave, she looks up, duno what her reaction was exactly she didn't look pleased but im short sighted and besides i didnt stop i just walked out. as i passed the window (she was sitting by the window) on my way out she was pretending to be on the phone.. what a tramp.

 

[pikachu69]

Well, again:

The key, in my opinion, is to keep the texts minimal. Save the good stuff for the dates.

But I generally like to respond (MINIMALLY!) to all texts. Sometimes I'll text back within a minute; other times, I'll wait several hours. But I'll always keep it short and sweet, and after a couple of texts back and forth, I'll simply stop texting.

Basically what you're saying is write as little as possible. Keep it concise. I usually write too much as i feel i need to demonstrate DHV's and look less available, be busy etc. Maybe I'm trying too hard to appear that way that's why it comes across as try hard.

The thing is if you reply the next day or day after do you apologize for the late reply? (you dont need to obviously if you normally only respond 1-2 times a day max but if you're normally replying swiftly or within a few hours it's a dramatic change)

 

[BlackMack177]

If you have to appear busy and not desperate then you have a bigger problem...

You really SHOULD have things going on in your life besides this girl. Only then will you not be desperate because you will have a life and have more important things to worry about than how long you should wait to respond to a text silly message.

 

[pikachu69]

Responses in bold.

how about this variation, if you do keep it minimal and keep it cool not showing too much interest, say she cancelled or whatever.. how long should you wait before you recontact after showing you're a bit more aloof?

would waiting a day in between just show you're still keen?

 

[Iceberg]

how about this variation, if you do keep it minimal and keep it cool not showing too much interest, say she cancelled or whatever.. how long should you wait before you recontact after showing you're a bit more aloof?

would waiting a day in between just show you're still keen?

In case you guys are noticing the theme:

Pickachu asks a question. You take time out of your busy day to help him with an answer.

....then Pickachu asks another question. The cycle continues...

This is why I stopped responding in this thread. I'll never understand how a guy gets off on getting attention from male strangers on the internet.