Is there such thing as a "Real Don Juan"? (My Take)

[Ashlee Angel]

I have been on this site for almost two years and I have changed alot. When I first came here I read the bible everyday coming home from h/s.

Most of the post were talking about how you should be a man and have rules you live by. The ones I remember off the top of my head. Wait at least 3 days to call girls, Never ask a girl to be with you, Be a challenge.

I lived by those rules then I read some post from guys who like to be players and who love to fvck diffrent women all of the time. Most of the guys on this forum dissed those people. Saying they had no morals and it's not right for them to do stuff like that.

When I lived by the rules of the "Bible" I was happy with myself but my social life was still not even close to where I thought it should be.

Over time I began to forget rules I began to make my own judgements.

I studied stuff bascially about confidence and once my confidence was high I just went for it. I never really posted about " how can I get this girl" Or anything like that.

So I had almost a diffrent chick every night. Doing this gained respect from my male friends. But females who knew me called me names like slut,wh0re, player. But how could I be a player and I didn't have a girlfriend? During this period I was having a great time. But I had no time for me.

When I began to get good results once I started approaching girls. I no longer wanted a gf that was on of the main reasons why I came to this site. I had DJ triats already in me this site just brought them out.

So now I am in a LTR and I am trying to find that balance between, Having a good social life and a great personal life. It's very diffcult I have to spend time with family, friends, gf. I also need time for school, work.

What I am saying I think a "Real Don Juan" is somebody who has goals, doesn't take sh!t from women and is a man and not a pushover.

Just because I use to fvck alot of girls all of the time doesn't mean I am any less of a DJ than a man who is in a LTR.

Just because I only have one girl doesn't mean I am any less of a DJ than somebody who has 10 girls.

 

[K-Daddy]

I think you've got the right idea, Ashlee. I just logged onto this site for the first time in a while and read your post first...it fit right into an issue that I was going to post on regardless. Here are my feelings on the matter (read: this is my rant):

I used to read the site religiously as well, and really, it all worked for me usually. I mean, I'm not the ultra-outgoing type anyway so I couldn't be the life of the party or just approach any girl I wanted to...because I didn't wanna be. I did apply the rules that applied to my life, though, like having confidence and going for what you want. I did that. I tried dating lots of girls at once and it worked a few times, but that's not the type of dude I am. I enjoy just having one girl. It means a lot more to me.

What brought all of this to my mind was that I've recently started dating a very cool girl that does mean a lot to me. I've been getting kind of apprehensive about a lot of the stuff going on with her, but any fear I have is fear instilled by what I thought was "right." I have lots of legitimate opportunities to see her, but one issue has been whether or not I should take those. I find myself thinking "Ruh roh, if I spend too much time around her I'm going to look like a puppydog, and girls don't like that!" or "If I see her too much she'll think I'm clingy!" or whatever...but then I catch myself and realize that hell...if I want to see her, I wanna see her. I don't want to see her all the time. I want my time to myself and I want my time with my buddies...but I also want time with her. I think it's supposed to be "wrong" or something to spend more than one night a week with her so you can remain a challenge...or something. Whatever.

The tie-in here is that I, like you, could probably still get girls if I tried. It's not a big deal, and it's not rocket science. Right now I've found what I want, and I'm struggling with convincing myself that what this site taught me was "right" isn't always right...it's just always situational. I don't feel like any less of a man (like I need a site to tell me what a man is, but still...).

I don't think you should worry about what anyone might think of you regarding your having just one girl. It's all about you, man. And everyone else remember that as well.

 

[RKTek]

Agreed. I used to hang with a male slut/natural Don Juan. He was an aircraft mechanic who had the face and hair to be on the cover of GQ. He worked out a lot and watched his diet so that he had a hard body. He also frequented all the dance clubs in town and knew how to dance. Every time I saw him he was with a different woman. Some were hotter than others but it was always someone new and he later confessed that he'd bedded hundreds of women.

He eventually found the woman of his dreams and married her. I saw her just before the wedding and she was stunning; tall, slim, large natural chest, reddish brown hair, legs up to her armpits, green eyes, wow.

Two years later, she's overweight and has fooled around. He's miserable.

The point is, quantity does not mean quality and you MUST PAY ATTENTION TO HER REAL INTEREST LEVEL. This guy was simply bedding women and not paying attention to their real interest in him. He never kept one woman for more than a few weeks so had no idea how to tell if she would have been a keeper.

So what is the definition of a real DJ. You'd think he was, but I agree that a real DJ should also know how to shift gears and turn things into a committed LTR when 'she' seems to come along. To me, the whole point is to eventually get into an LTR, and the DJ way is the best method for large volume sampling. But it should not be mindless banging as many women as possible before you die. Men live longer and are generally happier in LTR's. The DJ way is a tool to find the right one.

 

[Ashlee Angel]

I agree with both K-Daddy and RKTek on your views. Another thing with my relationship I'm in I broke all of the "Rules".

During the first month my gf and I told each other we loved each other. Some of the things I did were very AFCish. I think sometimes when your in love it turns you a bit AFCish.

You guys might disagree with me on this point I have about LTR's. I don't think guys under 25 should be in a real LTR. I am not say go out and be a slut.

I don't think you should fully commit to a woman unless she has everything or almost everything your looking for in a woman. I mean she must have the looks the goals the personality the everything to put your 100% in.

To older men this may not apply to. But I think youth is all about exprience and lessons. Seeing what you like and dislike in women.

 

[aBAzLLnA]

amen, rules dont apply once you start journeying into the "true DJ" phase. everything there evolves around what YOU think is right.

yeah, guys under 25 shouldnt attach themselves to a chick, UNLESS she has everything he wants...can perform...etc...

~ivan