Is there such a thing as being TOO indifferent?

[tryst type]

I've heard and witnessed how girls thrive off of emotion and we've all seen how some relationships there's a constant roller coaster of that with constant bickering/arguing yet relationships chugs along.

With me I'm pretty carefree and shrug off anything that would otherwise easily turn into an argument with a woman.

I was wondering if in the long run this would pose as a no challenge to them and they'll seek guys who treat them badly to get that emotional ride they secretly crave.

Should I force myself to argue/debate more? Lol

 

[Greasy Pig]

I'm keen to hear answers on this too. Considering women thrive on drama, is it wise to always ignore tantrums or shyt tests?

 

[Boilermaker]

I think there is.

Some people are naturally like that, they are "emotionally deaf". (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexithymia)
Some of us on the other hand, play the DJ game a tad too hard, and come off as too superficial and fake.

As I try to digest and internalize all this DJ stuff, I am learning to be more like myself (emotionally involved) but very hard on some boundaries. As long as you know your priorities and you don't do catastrophic stuff, you can have a lot of liberty in dealing with these sh!t tests. Being very stiff in day-to-day stuff makes us brittle and fake.

 

[BeDJ]

Indifference will only work for moderate to high interested women. Ironically, this is how you identify moderate to high interested women.

 

[Bumsniff]

Indifference will only work for moderate to high interested women. Ironically, this is how you identify moderate to high interested women.

And how does that work? And how do you know when it's gone too far? When she finds someone else or better?

 

[jhl]

In pickup, indifference is great. It's been discussed to death and I'm not gonna go into that. However, I have a very different view on indifference in a relationship. In a relationship, the provisioning needs kick in when women fall in love and if you're too indifferent, they will leave because you show signs of being a bad provider. Of course, this doesn't apply to BPDs and psychopaths so if that's your choice of women then what I just wrote doesn't apply to you.

So how indifferent should you be?

Well, I think it's more of how woman perceives the situation and you. Several girls I've dated in the past were quite in love and scared stiff that I would leave them. In a half-as*ed attempt to arouse anxiety in me, they would give hypothetical scenarios of them leaving me and marrying someone else, etc. If they do this a few times, I would be sarcastic and act beta and they'd get all happy.

The thing is...I'm just playing dumb and going with the flow. These girls are not dumb. They have a 7th sense and know exactly how I'm feeling and it's that I'm INDIFFERENT. I can act beta like this from time to time and get away with it b/c my core projection of myself is completely different. If the girl senses and she knows she can lose you at any time, a girl in love will always be anxious. A lot of that is bad, but a little of that is good. The key is to make her feel like she's got some hold of you, but also make her feel that she's not quite in control. I think it takes trial and error to figure out how to calibrate this. It's kind of like cooking. You follow a recipe book and the dish never turns out the way you think it does, but give it a few shots and you'll get close.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Indifference is a powerful tool when you've already set the hook. If you've started by showing extreme high value, hook her interest, and then make her chase you from then on, always holding a frame of "I'm happy or I walk," then indifference can be invaluable to control her behavior.

The underlying message to her is:

When you're behaving right (the way I want) I'll give you my attention which will create in you those emotions you enjoy so much.

When you're misbehaving (being difficult, moody, creating drama, etc) then I pull away (e.g. show indifference) and place my focus somewhere else. This teachers her that when she behaves in a way you don't like, YOU AREN'T ATTRACTED to her.

So long as you hold the stronger frame, your indifference will have an effect.

However, if you're always fighting over who controls the frame (who can walk the easiest) then it will just turn into a pissing contest to see who can NC the longest.

However, if you show indifference when she's doing something that got her some good rewards before, it will create anxiety/confusion and can decrease her interest (or make her even more batshyte crazy), so make sure you're REALLY consistent with when you choose to show indifference.

If you do it just for the sake of playing head games, all bets are off.