Seek some help !
I am a long time lurker on the forum that i found out about while researching bdp and various seduction topics.
My ex oneitis broke up with me almost 9 months ago.
To make a long story short I know her since we are small. She is a wild girl and has been with many partner. I never dated her when we were young but she defenitly wanted too. Fast forward a decade or 2 we meet again but we are 28 now while she is coming back from Asia to visit her familly.I am very sick with Lyme disease but she fall in love with me anyways. Over the course of a few date and 4 months where she has to go back to Asia to finish her contract. She is madly in love with me tell all her friends and familly. She wrote me 1-2 emails everyday. Big idealization phase.
When she come back I am still sick but on top of my game mentally. I have learn to meditate and control my mind and emotion pretty good. Also my American abusive bdp ex of 4 year tough me a lot about relationship and never tolerating poor behaviour anymore.
So my ex is madly in love with me for almost 1.5 years her interest level is in de 90% - 100 % she is secretly thinking about asking my hand. We are like soul mates. She always comment on how manly and confident I am. I own a business and that's also a turn on for her. I guess she was not used to being with someone who does not tolerate poor behaviour and have a lot of self respect.
I make a bunch of mistakes that come with being too idealized and love and start taking her for granted and having doubts about the relationship and MY love for her. She was being very pressing about babies and one night I snapped telling her I was not sure about that and that once I healed from my health issue I might want lead a carefree life for a while and that I had dreams about my ex that troubled me ( she heard me speak in my sleep) . Pretty bad mistake I know. After that moment I committed to her in my head and told myself she was the girl of my life.
Anyways thing continue to go well but one night she is different and I start acting distant and I ask her what's wrong. **** test number one . She says she is unsure that I broke her hearth with my doubts and being rude to her she start crying and I start crying with her too. We made up a week after that but I guess from that moment she saw she had more control then she tough in the relationship.
The coming months start becoming hell for me. My manager at work ( who was one of my best friend) is stealing money and trying to bad mouth me to other employee. Very stressful situation. He ended up leaving the business but he took my second in command with me. Big lesson ( NEVER TOLERATE poor behaviour not just from your gf but also your friend and employees I saw this coming from a mile away but never acted on it soon enough.
After all this happen at my business one night another employee that I really liked called me drunk and quit. I had a total breakdown in front of my girlfriend who told me she would always stay by my side no matter what. Thinks with her are going rapidly downhill. In those months I was severely depressed and stressed. I started acting very needy and weak in general.
Anyways. One night she write me a big letter telling me she loved me but we needed to work and make the relationship better. I told her over the phone we might need a break. The next day she leave the house crying and saying we are taking a break but that she loved me. I Act very compose and dignified.
I see her a few day latter and she his taking another apartment. I act very compose to all this and tell her she need to follow her hearth. She cry in my arm and tell me if I am the one we will meet again.
I almost lost my business. I was still sick from all the stress and now my gf was dumping me like I had never been dumped before. Let me tell you guys life was not great...
No contact for 5-6 week ( minimal contact for house stuff and that's it)
Then one day after her exam are done she call and text me like a maniac and tell me she tough about me.
Now this is where I get very afc.
I was tired and had not sleep in almost 2 days. I go see her right aways to ask for explanation. She tells me she left before not loving me anymore. That no man in her life has never turned her on sexually like I did but she could not deal with my depression anymore etc.
she ask if we give each other a chance can I change my way. I tell her yes and try convincing her to give it a shot. We order some food and i start feeling like crap that I open my hearth to her without her committing to anything ( giving my power away) So I crab my coat and decide to leave. She run after me outside and I ask her take it or leave it and that I am not playing games. She says she has to ask her best friend. After she say this I start walking and get tears in my eyes and light sobbing. ( learn this technique on the immature man forum at notsosuave.com)
I emediatly stop and tell her I messed up and that I like her. She ended up saying yes for a chance and kissed me and left to her appointment.
I had proven her ...
1- I was ready to take the blame . Were it was more 50/50
2- she could have me anytime she wanted
3- I did not respect myself very much
4- I was still very weak and depress.
I basically turned her off while it could have been an easy recuperation on my part because she still had strong feelings for me.
Anyways like you all expect it now we saw eachother once more and she was without pity. Blaming me for a bunch of nonsens. I tried reasoning with her but it was too late. We said our goodbye with my tail in between my leg.
Voilà been NC 6-7 months. 1 contact attempt from her witch was very lame. She left our pictures on Facebook for 4-5 months and her profile picture of her and me little together.
I have been seeing 2 girls and my game is becoming good( Altough indont have a lot of extra energy for that at the moment)
All my business **** are back in order . My health is improving fast nowadays but not at the level I would want it.
Should I make a contact attempt ?! Could I recover from that ?!
Anyways let me know what you guys think.
Sry for imperfect English ...
Yoyo
I am a long time lurker on the forum that i found out about while researching bdp and various seduction topics.
My ex oneitis broke up with me almost 9 months ago.
To make a long story short I know her since we are small. She is a wild girl and has been with many partner. I never dated her when we were young but she defenitly wanted too. Fast forward a decade or 2 we meet again but we are 28 now while she is coming back from Asia to visit her familly.I am very sick with Lyme disease but she fall in love with me anyways. Over the course of a few date and 4 months where she has to go back to Asia to finish her contract. She is madly in love with me tell all her friends and familly. She wrote me 1-2 emails everyday. Big idealization phase.
When she come back I am still sick but on top of my game mentally. I have learn to meditate and control my mind and emotion pretty good. Also my American abusive bdp ex of 4 year tough me a lot about relationship and never tolerating poor behaviour anymore.
So my ex is madly in love with me for almost 1.5 years her interest level is in de 90% - 100 % she is secretly thinking about asking my hand. We are like soul mates. She always comment on how manly and confident I am. I own a business and that's also a turn on for her. I guess she was not used to being with someone who does not tolerate poor behaviour and have a lot of self respect.
I make a bunch of mistakes that come with being too idealized and love and start taking her for granted and having doubts about the relationship and MY love for her. She was being very pressing about babies and one night I snapped telling her I was not sure about that and that once I healed from my health issue I might want lead a carefree life for a while and that I had dreams about my ex that troubled me ( she heard me speak in my sleep) . Pretty bad mistake I know. After that moment I committed to her in my head and told myself she was the girl of my life.
Anyways thing continue to go well but one night she is different and I start acting distant and I ask her what's wrong. **** test number one . She says she is unsure that I broke her hearth with my doubts and being rude to her she start crying and I start crying with her too. We made up a week after that but I guess from that moment she saw she had more control then she tough in the relationship.
The coming months start becoming hell for me. My manager at work ( who was one of my best friend) is stealing money and trying to bad mouth me to other employee. Very stressful situation. He ended up leaving the business but he took my second in command with me. Big lesson ( NEVER TOLERATE poor behaviour not just from your gf but also your friend and employees I saw this coming from a mile away but never acted on it soon enough.
After all this happen at my business one night another employee that I really liked called me drunk and quit. I had a total breakdown in front of my girlfriend who told me she would always stay by my side no matter what. Thinks with her are going rapidly downhill. In those months I was severely depressed and stressed. I started acting very needy and weak in general.
Anyways. One night she write me a big letter telling me she loved me but we needed to work and make the relationship better. I told her over the phone we might need a break. The next day she leave the house crying and saying we are taking a break but that she loved me. I Act very compose and dignified.
I see her a few day latter and she his taking another apartment. I act very compose to all this and tell her she need to follow her hearth. She cry in my arm and tell me if I am the one we will meet again.
I almost lost my business. I was still sick from all the stress and now my gf was dumping me like I had never been dumped before. Let me tell you guys life was not great...
No contact for 5-6 week ( minimal contact for house stuff and that's it)
Then one day after her exam are done she call and text me like a maniac and tell me she tough about me.
Now this is where I get very afc.
I was tired and had not sleep in almost 2 days. I go see her right aways to ask for explanation. She tells me she left before not loving me anymore. That no man in her life has never turned her on sexually like I did but she could not deal with my depression anymore etc.
she ask if we give each other a chance can I change my way. I tell her yes and try convincing her to give it a shot. We order some food and i start feeling like crap that I open my hearth to her without her committing to anything ( giving my power away) So I crab my coat and decide to leave. She run after me outside and I ask her take it or leave it and that I am not playing games. She says she has to ask her best friend. After she say this I start walking and get tears in my eyes and light sobbing. ( learn this technique on the immature man forum at notsosuave.com)
I emediatly stop and tell her I messed up and that I like her. She ended up saying yes for a chance and kissed me and left to her appointment.
I had proven her ...
1- I was ready to take the blame . Were it was more 50/50
2- she could have me anytime she wanted
3- I did not respect myself very much
4- I was still very weak and depress.
I basically turned her off while it could have been an easy recuperation on my part because she still had strong feelings for me.
Anyways like you all expect it now we saw eachother once more and she was without pity. Blaming me for a bunch of nonsens. I tried reasoning with her but it was too late. We said our goodbye with my tail in between my leg.
Voilà been NC 6-7 months. 1 contact attempt from her witch was very lame. She left our pictures on Facebook for 4-5 months and her profile picture of her and me little together.
I have been seeing 2 girls and my game is becoming good( Altough indont have a lot of extra energy for that at the moment)
All my business **** are back in order . My health is improving fast nowadays but not at the level I would want it.
Should I make a contact attempt ?! Could I recover from that ?!
Anyways let me know what you guys think.
Sry for imperfect English ...
Yoyo
