So I'm writing this to help myself regain my focus. I recently went through a powerfull emotional experience. I had decided that I lost the girl I loved at the time, and I cried as hard as I would when I was a little boy. It really took me by surprise and hurt a lot. But at the same time I felt very alive and like a weight was lifted. But the wound is not fully healed yet and I still find myself thinking about her even though I've accepted the fact that I lost her. This is hitting me hard because I've never felt such strong feelings for a single woman. So what should I focus on? The obvious answer is myself because that's the only real thing that matters in my life... my well being. But what about her? She is going to leave for college in 20 days so there is no hope for a relationship. A part of me still wants to move forward with her and enjoy the time we have left. The other side says to let her go completely and move on with my life, the tricky part is what should I do if SHE tries to remain imitate. I know if I respond to her intimacy I'll probably become attached again. Also noted the reason we had our blunder is because I misread a situation, where we were in the car fooling around. I told her to give me head and she said no, some part of me thought she was kidding or teasing and proceeded as if she said yes. Yeah that's an ugly situation. So she then left the car and we didn't talk for a few days. I then text her and she was obviously acting cold. I figure out she is really upset and no longer wants to move forward with me unless I regain her trust. I also get upset and have my balling incident. I was upset because I hurt her, I was mad at myself for having such a huge lapse of judgement and I was most upset because I put a huge chinc in our relationship. So I then proceeded to impulsively quit my job, which I was scheduled to work with her the next day. I didn't care much about the job but it was still probably the wrong decision. She told me I didn't have to quit which I already knew. Since then I had a two hour long conversation with her where we sort of patched things up. I tried calling her the next day with no reply so far. So to conclude things I pretty much know which direction things are headed. But what do you guys think? Should I maintain the connection (we click well) even though shes off to college? Or is it all to damaged already and I'm acting to AFC to even get her back? Any advice will help, thanks guys!