FUBAR,
On a spiritual level, I want to suggest that you do more internal work to better yourself. I'm constantly fighting to stay on this path myself.
I believe that everything in our physical life has a spiritual cause or origin. And if I may quote Jim Morrison (I think?), "There are things known, and things unknown. And inbetween...are the doors." Our job is to keep opening or knocking down the doors that block us---the doors that we must enter through to reach new areas of growth in our lives.
The job of recreation/regeneration HAS to begin spiritually first. Confidence is situation specific. You can be solid in one area of your life (physically) and incredibly shakey in another(self-love).
Example:A physically strong man can still be enslaved and rendered powerless by a physically weaker, yet more manipulative woman. (see SAMSON and DELILAH).
Why is this so? Because Samson's approach to self-mastery was too narrow in focus. Had he taken a more holistic approach to conquering his inner demons and harnessing his wayward emotions, it's quite possible he would never have fallen prey to his weakness for the "love" of a woman.
His emotional scale was out of balance. He loved a woman MORE than he loved himself. This is evidenced by his willingness to put his own life at risk by revealing his secret weakness (see-- that CUTTING OFF HIS HAIR would make him powerless), to Delilah---a woman who HAD NOT yet proven herself loyal and faithful to him.
She was his One-itis. Around here, the definition of One-itis is a raging irrational infatuation, or unrequited love and affection for someone who DOES NOT return it back to you.
So I would suggest to you also, in addition to building your body, do the internal work of prayer, self-reflection, and meditiation. These practices will help you discover better who you are right now, who you were while you were in that marriage, AND most importantly---WHO YOU WANT TO BE NOW THAT YOU HAVE THIS CHANCE AT A NEW BEGINNING.
In a Nutshell:
Like I say to the troops all the time around here @ sosuave: This is WAR my friend. It's ALWAYS a fight, either to constantly better YOURSELF, or to ensure that NO WOMAN ever gets the better of YOU.
As it is said, and pardon me as I paraphrase and expound on this Biblical text:
"The weapons of our warfare are NOT just physical. But they are mighty and effective when it comes to pulling down personal spiritual strongholds and mental mindsets that seek to keep us enslaved to our emotions and desires."
Do your battle in the realms of the seen AND the unseen, soldier!
Focus just as much on bettering and loving who you are on the INSIDE as you do on what's on the outside. Why is this necessary? Remember, many anorexics somehow STILL manage to look at themselves in the mirror and see a FAT person---no matter how much weight they have lost.
Why? Because their inner view of themselves has NOT changed. As you can see, the key to changing who you are on the outside is an INSIDE job. It can't really be done AND sustained if you choose to do it the opposite way.
That's why you will NEVER hear somebody talking about changing their "inlook". But you will ALWAYS hear somebody talking about changing their "OUTLOOK".
Why? Because the former CAN'T be changed. But the latter is changed ALL THE TIME.
Hell, even Bill Gates of Microsoft was in the habit of changing HIS "OUTLOOK" whenever he felt like it.That is, until the government's anti-trust taskforce started gettin' on his @ss!!! lol
But seriously, learn a lesson from architects. Before you build anything, lay the foundation first. Your foundation is your inner self---your spirit. Strengthen and stablize that part of you first, then build the more superficial parts of you ON TOP OF THAT. That way, when the storms of external CHANGE are blowing through your life, you will have confidence built deep inside----which will be the anchor that allows you to weather it.
Don't get it twisted, soldier. We men are all icebergs. There's ALWAYS more to us UNDER THE WAVES than what other people can see on the surface of the water. The parts of us that people DON'T see is who we truly are.
When you can fight this battle of self improvement from both the inside AND the outside----that's when you will experience the most significant progress.
That's when you will discover for yourself that you are not just a human BEING...but you will have become a human DOING.
Onward solder. Much Success.
Peace...one day.
