is there ever a transition in a relationship?

(JJ)

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I and my girlfriend have dated for a long time. We both just graduated high school, and have been together since junior year. She and I were both virgins when we met, and have had sex. she is possessive over me, and I have done pretty much everything perfectly DJ as far as training her to treat me nicely, pay for more than her fair share, blah blah blah, all firsts for me (thanks to SS).


Alright, background information complete.

Today, one of my buddies invited me to a concert that I didn't really have THAT much interest in attending. Meaning, I wouldn't have gone unless I had nothing else to do. My Gf was over at my house at the time, and the entire time I was on the phone, she was giving me pissy looks. When I got off the phone she told me what she "heard" and it turned out that she misheard and was all *****y for no reason. We ended up having a fight about how she shouldn't eavesdrop and it ended less than great.

I made it a lot more clear that I see her only as a source of fun in my life and that once the fun stops happening (aka a lot of arguments like the above one) then I think it would be time to break up and "just move on to the next one." (a quote from me)

She appeared to be taken aback. She asked if I thought I'd "ever find someone who did all that she did" for me, like be nice and pay for things, etc.

I said "well if the next one doesn't, then there's still 3,499,999,999 girls to test out. I'm sure one of em will."

She halfheartedly agreed, and then left shortly thereafter, but only so I could go out with my buddies.

Thinking back on it, however, I feel kinda bad about how she appeared to interpret that realization.

So having all that information, do you guys think I'm being too callous seeing as how I'm in a relationship of close to two years with a "high school sweetheart"?

Is there ever a transition into being more personable within a relationship and only using the donjuan stuff sparingly? I know that most the time you shouldn't change anything because once you stop doing what attracted a girl to you, she leaves, but still. Any response/discussion is cool.
 

Captain

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(JJ) said:
I made it a lot more clear that I see her only as a source of fun in my life and that once the fun stops happening (aka a lot of arguments like the above one) then I think it would be time to break up and "just move on to the next one." (a quote from me)
This is the perfect mindset.

The most important thing to have in any relationship is the will to walk away when things start to go bad.

I said "well if the next one doesn't, then there's still 3,499,999,999 girls to test out. I'm sure one of em will."
Correct mindset, but you shouldn't have said it. You should have just left and her ignored her.

Is there ever a transition into being more personable within a relationship and only using the donjuan stuff sparingly? I know that most the time you shouldn't change anything because once you stop doing what attracted a girl to you, she leaves, but still.
No, keep doing what what attracted her in the first place.

If you're an attractive person, it won't require any effort, which is why it's best to mold yourself into an attractive, strong, and assertive person.
 

(JJ)

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So continuously be a ballbuster and all that? i mean, she is completely in love with me. She takes it offensively when there's a day that we can't hang out. As I said before, she buys things for me, makes me brownies, gets me cards, and is super sweet to me. AND we've been together a long as s time. AND we lost our virginities to each other.

all these things make me think that maybe i should start being nicer.

the will to walk away the moment things go bad doesnt seem to be a part of the formula for a successful marriage. That's what I'm more worried about. At what point do you say "you know what, this could be something serious..." and then treat it as such by working out issues?
 

WhitePimp

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(JJ) said:
So continuously be a ballbuster and all that? i mean, she is completely in love with me. She takes it offensively when there's a day that we can't hang out. As I said before, she buys things for me, makes me brownies, gets me cards, and is super sweet to me. AND we've been together a long as s time. AND we lost our virginities to each other.

all these things make me think that maybe i should start being nicer.
Like Captain said, being the way you are attracted her in the first place and kept her around enough for her to fall in love, lose her virginity, etc. When you start changing and being nicer, that attraction is bound to change and/or wane. Don't change what works!!!
 

Raikojo17

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Sounds Like she has the Virginity Complex

meaning that she feels like she has to be with you because you were her first

You shouldn't have said that too her. But you have a good mindset in not being afraid to walk away if things go bad.

but i think if that chick had an once of self respect then she would have never settled for something she doesn't want

Also, i know from personal experience that women get tired of "Supporting" their man after a while. if you keep letting her baby you and buy you stuff and pay for everything then she'll get tired of that eventually and lose respect for you. again, this is just from my experience. I've tried the Dj mindset of letting her pay more and do more work in the relationship. doesn't always workout that way.

Just putting that out there....
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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