I "cut off" a LTR from sex after after about 6 years.
I was in a 9 year LTR. I don't believe in marriage. The first 3 years we're fantastic, second 3 pretty good, and last 3 we were like platonic roommates.
She was a hot HB8+ Croatian woman. 30 when I met her, pretty and in really good shape. But over time, I lost interest in her sexually. Part of it was boredom, lack of variety, so to compensate I did look at porn more than normal which probably exacerbated things. The last 3 years were a joke, when she left for work, I got up. When she came home, I left for the gym. On weekends, she took the dog for a walk early, I as cooked breakfast for myself, our schedules rarely meshed. I really didn't care and had no enthusiasm to work it out. Strangely, you get "comfortable" with your situation. In addition, she said early on (first year of living together) that she couldn't sleep in the same bed because "I made noise and moved around too much." She was the only gf to ever say that. But, she was VERY anal retentive, picky, and detail-oriented. Great in one's career, bad traits in a relationship and it led to some resentment from me because I could never meet her expectations with all the critiquing and complaining about trivial matters.
Talk about an erection killer...
About 3 months before we split, she started taking a dance class. I encouraged her, it got her out of the house so I could watch football or whatever in peace. We were living together for 5-6 years and had combined households, so those SS posters thinking "just dump her", well, it's not quite that easy. After about 3 months into the dance classes, she started staying out late "practicing." Then I noticed a distinct change in her behavior towards me, cold, aloof, very b*itchy. I knew who the guy was she was "practicing" (f*ucking) with; a feminine beta male about 14 years younger. I knew him from our gym. I just didn't give a f*ck though.
So one night, with tensions sky high, no words being spoken, I'd had enough. I calmly told her "I can't live this way." She got a look on her face I'd never seen; almost demonic. I said "I know what you're doing, too." She smiled like a sly fox and said, "I've done nothing." Right. I told her she had two weeks to move out, let's do this as cleanly and unemotional as possible. She did cry a bit but never clamored to get me back. I held frame 100%.
Three days after she moved out, I was eating dinner, watching TV and my Doberman was sleeping at my feet. The amount of relief and lowered stress was incredible. I felt alive again. My blood pressure felt like 60/40. I was at peace. The future was bright. I was...HAPPY.
So, yes, men DO withhold sex but usually because the relationship has soured and gone boring, there is resentment, and the connection is long gone.
I love hot fudge sundaes, but I get sick of eating one every day of the week for 9 years. I'm just not wired for marriage or LTRs.
Yes, we both could have done things to work on the relationship, but we didn't.
AND, had we been married, after the divorce, I would have been financing her trysts with her beta male lover on my dime. But because I refused to get married, I got off owing absolutely nothing money-wise.
I've been NC with her for well over a year. I just don't care what she's up to. No hard feelings, I JDGAF. I'm future-focused.
Hope this story helps some here on SS.
Ciao,
~Dash