Is there any hope? 37 year old and broken

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Work for what? What work? Dedication for what?

I am a human being with human needs and human desires.
My loneliness and pain are killing me. It drains my life.
At this point it is nothing but cruelty and torture.
No words or lies or mental trickery will change that.

This is the sort of mental midget mindset that has yielded you rubbish results.

MAN up. Grow a pair. Go get girls or kindly **** off. More girls for me. 0 ****s given.

You have a choice. Continue onto the amateur hour path you are on or step up. Nobody gives a ****.

Execute or your genes are weeded out of existence. The choice is yours.

Nobody cares either way.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I already found a woman I really like and I screwed up. She is the only one on a pedestal. I screwed up because of my lack of experience with woman. I will continue to screw up until I gain this experience. I couldn't even **** her while she gave me chance after chance.

This is exactly why you are not ready.
You cannot handle a women or attract the ones you really want at this point of your life. To do that you need to self improve and that take on lot of hard work which all guys here on the forum can sign on the paper on for it that they have done too, (E.g. To improve themselves).

Now you can continue to ignore what we guys here are trying to tell you or take our real life into advise into account and take action on it.
The choice if of course yours.

Life is fvcking hard for everyone and everyone has sad story. You are not unique in that. Period!
And just like @DEEZEDBRAH said to you. Nobody gives a flying fvck, but you.
Life is hard. Get your big boi pants on and get over it.
Get up from the floor, stop feeling sad for yourself and get going because nobody cares.

Work for what? What work? Dedication for what?

We guys already done the journey and yes that requires a lot of just hard work and dedication to self improve which takes time.

Your current mindset is one of losers and you have very scare mindset. Women are craving for and want the most confident guys that can lay and slay the world for them and they have built in radar that will within a few millisecond scan and sort out guys like you that has no confidence.
At best you be her pen pal, or follower like tons of other hungry simps she has in her friend zone. But with your desperation and neediness you will not only be friend zoned, you will be considered a creepy guy and be in the creep zone.

As I said before; You are not ready this.
Sorry but that is the harsh truth of life.
You need to change yourself and improve to get the results you are craving for.

Women are born into this word with an innate value from their birth (their youth and beauty) and is highly valued by society for that; men on the other hand are born into this world without any value as the disposable sex (We're sent to die in wars etc.), and must create ourselves valuable over time by self improving and creating values such as wealth.

This is why women over time loses value the older they get, while men increases in value over time as we get older.

However as already mentioned; you are not at this point yet. To have something of value you must first create value first.

You're only 37, but as wise men said; time waits for no one.
So I kindly suggest you better get started right now and stop whining about how hard it is and how sad it is for you. It is hard for everyone, get busy with improving yourself and create a better mindset and learn from guys here. Read the older material on the site. It could help you a lot too if you decide to take action.

I wish you the very best.
Good luck mate, I hope you make the right choices for you that will lead you to where you want to be.

 

[madeit]

One can't seduce a girl who doesn't want to be seduced by you. Nothing a coach tells you or nothing you read in a book is going to force sexual attraction in a girl. Not the negs or the teases or the DHV stories or the good eye contact or anything else. That stuff can help, but she decides the important bit before you've even finished saying 'hi'. And you can learn anything they can teach you on youtube in 10 mins
None of these coaches are any more 'skilled' than the normal guy off the street.

The difference is the normal guy from the street never tries his luck and approaches girls and asks for their number or whatever. But he'd have extremely similar results to the PUA if he tried (assuming he looked identical to the PUA)

Game actually totally works. Likes seriously it really really does. What you say absolutely matters a MASSIVE amount. This "she decides if she will sleep with you before you say 'hi' " thing is totally ridiculous - people just parrot it but it doesn't have much basis in reality.

It is just VERY hard to actually get good at game - so in that sense you are right, it's not like some magic trick - the vast majority of people end up thinking "game doesn't work" after a few days, weeks or months before they make progress.

Here is a simple way to look at it -

Who are the most desired men in the world?
Male models???

No, musicians, actors etc. sure many look okay - but not as good as male models. Another thing, for example I do public speaking ( I am quite good) and it is CRAZY how interested just about every woman is after I give a speech.

Think of men - if an overweight or even just plain woman gives a great speech, we won't be attracted to her. But women, will become more attracted based on a man being competent at something or especially having status and social value .

So basically being able to convey through what one says and how one acts on the approach can either convey status, pre selection etc. the things that women find attractive, or it can convey the opposite.

It also varies from girl to girl.

If I earnestly tell an 19 year old girl she is cute = creep.
If I tease her to start a conversation she'll be friendly.

 

[madeit]

The truth always reveals itself! It was unavoidable.

Not necessarily. Man, thanks for the post - honestly it is motivating to me to make sure I make the most of the time I have. Massive congrats on getting that first kiss - keep doing what you are doing.

What worked for me when I was very down and insecure was to focus on actions, being logical, basically learning game or what works and what doesn't. Then I got results and felt better.

So - you made a mistake, you were in a good position and you unloaded emotions on her - that is NOT unavoidable. Next time

1) Don't do that
2) Have a different plan for how to "close the deal" - so you have something to focus on and do other then your emotions.

In terms of if it is too late - you literally were like a half step from closing the deal and just made a mistake. So keep doing what you are doing that got you there, and just do something differently next time.

Also - since you have not had sex before I recommend 1) Avoid porn - if you watch it 2) Do kegel exercises daily.
So you are more likely to have good sex, good erection etc.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I will use some of master's Oogway wisdom:

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

Go and now do the exact opposite of what you did for 15 years. \


Modern Man Advice

 

[corrector]

Yeah, OP, listen to what they are saying. Congrats on your first kiss. The next girl would be better experience since you already unloaded so you cant do that again. These behaviours are just an isolated incident and not a pattern.

 

[Fruitbat]

OP is definitely not ready. I was in the same spot as him when I came here.

The BIG mistake I made was getting out there when I was still an incredibly broken man.

It is SO hard to process this when you are wounded but here is the truth:

- Your own mindset is incredibly important and people in general, not just wamen, will pick up on it. When you’re in that spot, you think that’s BS and you have some odd curse which others don’t have.

-If you’re in this well of negative despair, would you find a person like that attractive? What TF can you offer another human being?

- As my grandmother (RIP) said, you cannot help others unless you yourself are in a good spot. You cannot offer a woman a life, a family, if you yourself are wounded and negative and hopeless. This is why you fix yourself first before trying to enhance the lives of others.

OP - I was exactly in your spot too. I fixed myself (with the help of some people on here) and I had a happy couple of years banging off OLD and then found a great girl and got married. Before anyone else chips in, yes, she’s an Asian girl (apparently this makes it a lesser achievement but I’m quite happy with a family oriented, hard working, slim and attractive woman 11 years younger than me, thank you!)

Here’s what worked for me:

- I did a few sessions of therapy and found it as above. A waste of time. The entire system is set up for middle aged women with middle aged middle class womens problems to pay someone to moan at for an hour a week. They have no single clue how to help Men, and if you explained your problems properly, they would try to gaslight your needs as the problem. Not make you a stronger man.
What helped for me was a long and Frank discussion with other men: My boss and my friend, both of which tough-loved me and told me to grow a pair of balls. This hurt terribly at first but then I saw the light.

- Hit the fkin gym. Lift weight and eat well. This is the key to everything. Forget about results. It’s about how it makes you feel.

- How you get a man out of a rut is not talking, it’s about setting goals and challenges and working towards them.

- Stoic and eastern philosophy helped me a great deal. Not simply the art of meditation but the ideas contained therein. It will teach you to stop wanting what you don’t have, and see life as something to play with and enjoy.

- Eventually you stop going through life as a whiny victim, and you are being a whiny victim. I only say this as I was this whiny victim and anyone who’s known my posts on here for a long time will attest. Eventually you see your life as a series of problems and incidents which you attempt to solve. You need to be courageous. If you can’t get dates you need to work on appearance, image and approach. If you can’t find women, you need to move. You are not subject to the whims of fate. Actually you are, but your task is to turn this around and stomp that MFer until it can’t get up. Do NOT give in, don’t feel a victim. Become the VictOR.

 

[Aristippus]

I am confronted with my reflection in the mirror and do not like what I see. I wonder if there is any hope and if anything can be done.

I am 37 years old, had a very traumatic youth and then I spend about 15 years of my adult life living in isolation playing video games. Avoiding life, withering away in my own misery, doing nothing. Absolutely nothing!

I never had a girlfriend and only recently I kissed a woman for the very first time. Yes, you read this right. I kissed a woman for the first time at age 37. I am afraid of woman, afraid of sexuality and have no idea what they are about.

Dreams, nightmares, reality and fantasy are all the same to me. Every day I am tortured by the demons of all the things I desire and do not have and all the things I never did and never even attempted to do. I cannot enjoy anything for I live in the shadow of my own misery which dominates my existence. Regret is what rules over me. I feel powerless and helpless.

Now I realize I could have done anything I wanted. But I didn't. I did nothing except looking out of the window and see life go bye bye.

If I can give one advice to young people it is to do something, anything, anything except nothing. You will have plenty of time to fail, to screw up, be an idiot and even be a lazy bastard. The road to hell is to do nothing. Countless of souls in hell scream "I am innocent. I have done nothing. Why am I here? What have I done?"

I did volunteer work and by working hard I managed to improve myself, gain some confidence and status being able to show some of my good qualities. A woman got attracted to me and we spend time together and I got my first kiss and after a long while she ended naked next to me. Nothing happened except me fingering her for a bit.

Although I was able to attract her by showing my good qualities at work I did nothing to improve the emptiness of my life. Frustration, desperation and neediness got the upper hand and I unloaded it all onto her. She recoiled quickly. I managed to turn myself into a pile of puke in minutes and her reaction to me showed this. She was nice, understanding and friendly, yet I could see her attitude change.

Although I never made a secret of my life of misery and never pretended to be better than I was the moment I opened my rotten mouth and uttered my frustrations and desperation I killed any left over attraction. I dug my own grave.

The truth always reveals itself! It was unavoidable.

This woman looks innocent, sweet and cute. The type you find in a library studying. She made me feel very comfortable for she did not show much of sexuality. How wrong could I be? At some point it became clear she was made out of sexuality. More sexual than I could even imagine; going far beyond anything I can fantasize about.

I am sure some other guy knows what to do with her. I don't.

It is a nightmare. One that makes me cry like nothing else because I have become fully aware of my flaws and weaknesses and failures. I cannot bull**** myself out it. I cannot blame anyone except myself.

I have no family and no friends. I cannot talk to anyone. I can only wipe my tears to a wall and maybe ask some strangers on the internet for help.

Is it still possible to turn my life around? How?

There are 3 areas you need to work on. Making friends, meeting women, and working on your personal issues. The good news is you can work on all three at the same time.

There are 2 books that will help you if you take your time and apply what you read. Mind and Emotions by Matthew McKay will help with your internal stuff. Undercover Sex Signals is a good book to help you learn how to find women that are already
interested in you. Most men live in the land of missed opportunity simply because they don't understand that there are groups of behaviors and body language signals that women will give off if they're interested. These signals aren't 100 percent guarantees but the probability of interest is much higher if you see them. Take your time and apply what you learn.....If you notice huge improvements in a few months or in a year, then that's a pretty quick resolution to a problem you've dealt with for decades.

 

[SMU Brah]

Your post was TLDR, but i'm assuming your employment is ****ty. Best advice I can give to you is to bear with that for a year, save money then go on an extended vacation junket to Central/Eastern Europe or South America/ SEA where you can stay at a long term hostel or airbnb for something like 1/3 of the cost of living in US. I did something similar when I was younger and had time of my life, and got out of some toxic social environments I was in, and developed some valuable skills & confidence.

Without knowing too much, check out Panama, Belize, Costa Rica, PR or in Europe Czech Republic, Hungary, Slovakia, Romania, Croatia, Serbia or Poland. People think it's not feasible to live overseas without work or whatever, but go on a sabbatical and take money you've saved from work to live there 3-6 months and travel or leverage the Cost of Living differential of US compared to these places. ~$1000USD per month of total expenses, depending on the country.

Do not worry about women. Get a psychologist, LPC asap, start working out, and reading self improvement material. Jordan Peterson is a good start. You will have to give up pron and drugs/ alcohol to start developing healthy living habits. They're an impedient to everyone and self development.

 

[SteR]

I don't think it's ever too late. Let's face it, your life is going ahead regardless, so you may as well start now and do something to have a good future.

If your youth was as traumatic as you say, then definitely seek therapy. In the mean time just try to date as many women as possible and get all the experience you can. You'll probably trip and fall the first few times, but you'll get the hang of it as long as you learn from your experiences.

I'd also suggest https://bookofpook.com/ as a starting point for game / frame

 

[Poonstra]

I never had a social circle in my life. It's a complete mystery to me.

Seeing your username I'm going to assume you're Dutch. Check out this app: nmlk, nieuwe mensen leren kennen.
It'll cost you 5E/month and you just sign up to activities you like. Everybody is a stranger to eachother and this will give you a chance to polish your social skills. Don't use it for dating.

While on the subject of your name, why don't you change it into something more positive. Calling youself a ****roach says a lot about how you see your self and it's the first thing that need to change.

 

[RickTheToad]

I am confronted with my reflection in the mirror and do not like what I see. I wonder if there is any hope and if anything can be done.

I am 37 years old, had a very traumatic youth and then I spend about 15 years of my adult life living in isolation playing video games. Avoiding life, withering away in my own misery, doing nothing. Absolutely nothing!

I never had a girlfriend and only recently I kissed a woman for the very first time. Yes, you read this right. I kissed a woman for the first time at age 37. I am afraid of woman, afraid of sexuality and have no idea what they are about.

Dreams, nightmares, reality and fantasy are all the same to me. Every day I am tortured by the demons of all the things I desire and do not have and all the things I never did and never even attempted to do. I cannot enjoy anything for I live in the shadow of my own misery which dominates my existence. Regret is what rules over me. I feel powerless and helpless.

Now I realize I could have done anything I wanted. But I didn't. I did nothing except looking out of the window and see life go bye bye.

If I can give one advice to young people it is to do something, anything, anything except nothing. You will have plenty of time to fail, to screw up, be an idiot and even be a lazy bastard. The road to hell is to do nothing. Countless of souls in hell scream "I am innocent. I have done nothing. Why am I here? What have I done?"

I did volunteer work and by working hard I managed to improve myself, gain some confidence and status being able to show some of my good qualities. A woman got attracted to me and we spend time together and I got my first kiss and after a long while she ended naked next to me. Nothing happened except me fingering her for a bit.

Although I was able to attract her by showing my good qualities at work I did nothing to improve the emptiness of my life. Frustration, desperation and neediness got the upper hand and I unloaded it all onto her. She recoiled quickly. I managed to turn myself into a pile of puke in minutes and her reaction to me showed this. She was nice, understanding and friendly, yet I could see her attitude change.

Although I never made a secret of my life of misery and never pretended to be better than I was the moment I opened my rotten mouth and uttered my frustrations and desperation I killed any left over attraction. I dug my own grave.

The truth always reveals itself! It was unavoidable.

This woman looks innocent, sweet and cute. The type you find in a library studying. She made me feel very comfortable for she did not show much of sexuality. How wrong could I be? At some point it became clear she was made out of sexuality. More sexual than I could even imagine; going far beyond anything I can fantasize about.

I am sure some other guy knows what to do with her. I don't.

It is a nightmare. One that makes me cry like nothing else because I have become fully aware of my flaws and weaknesses and failures. I cannot bull**** myself out it. I cannot blame anyone except myself.

I have no family and no friends. I cannot talk to anyone. I can only wipe my tears to a wall and maybe ask some strangers on the internet for help.

Is it still possible to turn my life around? How?

Have you sought a professional (male) therapist to unpack these issues and grow from them?

 

[SMU Brah]

Have you sought a professional (male) therapist to unpack these issues and grow from them?

Was gonna add, here in the US, and elsewhere, a lot of them work on a sliding scale if you're short cash because of poor income. This is a good thing, and depending on your circumstances the cost isn't 100euro/200 euro an hour (like you would assume), but something more like (40-50 euro) which is quite managable and good for you if you meet with them for one hr, every week or two-- which is all you need to get started and get a professional solving your problems for you.

 

[Romjuan]

I think what youre going through is hard. Your basically getting a late start developing social skills which majority people get in highschool. The good news its not too late. You need to start working on your personality. The best quote ive heard, comes from Joe Rogan. "You have the opportunity to be a new person NOW. Think of a hero in a movie. Think about the qualities he has, the things he does. You can be a hero in your OWN movie and it can start now. "

When talking to women, dont think about the end result of ****ing a girl or even try to get a number. Just try having good conversation and quality game. Mystery use to always say that he developed his skills from trial and error. Try talking to everyone. Guys, girls, doesnt matter. Try and just smile, complimentary and enjoy human interaction. If youre scared to talk to a woman still, start small. Start by just smiling and saying hi as you walk by them. Dont worry about the conversation. Just walk by and say "i just wanted to mention your hair looks beautiful today." Or I love that color on you. Whatever. Just try and brighten other peoples day and this will bring joy to you.

Once you feel more confident to talking to people you can work on your game. Get phone numbers but the number isnt for ****ing the girl. Just feel free to call and talk. or text. Anything to keep working on your personality. I think the process of doing this will make you feel better about yourself and its work to make you a better person.

Oh and the obvious you have to do that everyone will always say, workout, workout and workout. Make sure your endorphins are kicking and you look good and groomed with nice fit clothing.

 

[Dragonfly]

You have a lot of intense emotions going on.

My advice is to keep things simple, become a gym rat and get muscles.

Write a list of negative things you do with your life, then write a list of the total opposite direction to go.

You need to flip flop a ton of things. Definitely stop jerking off and eliminate porn.

 

[Solomon]

Do you believe in Jesus cause only Jesus will give you that fulfillment you shouldn't even be thinking about women right now
Your main focus is your mental, spiritual and physical health!

 

[kakkerlak1985]

About two years ago I began doing volunteer work and this has a large positive impact on me. I got some social contacts and figured out that I can do a lot more than I thought about myself. I actually got a lot of compliments for my hard work. (I never imagined myself to be a hard worker and in my opinion I didn't even work THAT hard)

It is because of this work I attracted the attention of this amazing girl. Spending this much time with a girl has been an unique experience for me and I enjoyed it a lot (for a year we met up once a week). However it turned into one big drama for me because...you know...I don't know what I am doing, afraid, insecure and terrified of sexuality. She was literally naked next to me and I couldn't do it. Too much pressure, too little experience.

I didn't want to screw it up and because of this I screwed up.

I am 37 years old and never had a girlfriend and only recently got my first kiss. This "girl problem" I have is the very thing holding me back in my life. It makes me feel completly powerless, helpless and hopeless for I don't even know how to get a date. I literally don't know.

Should I do this cold approach thing? And where? Street? Shops? Bars (I never go there)?
I tried online, but even getting a response back is nearly impossible. I would also like to have social circle, but I have no idea how to get one. How do people make friends? Where to find people (especially girls because that is the goal)?

I am sitting at home right now and I don't want to. I want to take action to meet and date girls and I just cannot even think of what to do. This has been a problem for many years and I cannot think of a solution. So I end up playing yet another video game I don't want to play to distract me from this misery. I want to spend those hours, days, weeks, months on working on getting girls and I don't know what to do.

I have plenty of time and I could spend it all on solving this "girl problem" if I just knew where to begin. How to get dates? Normal people go on dates; where in the hell do they get them?

Is pickup still a thing? Is there anyone still doing it? Should I just go to a bar and approach every single girl? Many years ago I knew a guy, the most ****ty guy I ever met and he did this and managed, to my great surprise, to have lots of girls over at his place. But this was 20 years ago.

I want this ****ing problem to be dealt with as fast as possible. Only two years before I turn 40.

I understand the value of going to the gym and such things. However lifting weights does not automagically get me a date. Those are two separate things. Going to the gym takes me about a hour and no date.

And one date is not enough. I probably need a large amount of dates to get the experience and hopefully to finally get to **** a girl. Which in itself is nothing but practice for when I meet a girl I actually like (I did meet an amazing girl but screwed up because I never dated).

I am not ugly or fat or anything like that. Sure improvements can be made and I am not protesting improvements. That would be stupid even for me.

What do I spend my time on in order to get dates and to finally get to **** a girl? At this point I am not even aiming for a girlfriend because this idea alone is surreal to me. It must be amazing. The best thing in the world. And if anyone says a girlfriend is overrated I would like to judge that for myself.

I have many many hours, days and weeks at my disposal. I am willing to immerse myself completely. To go all-inn. To break all my limits. I don't care about rejections anymore. Why would I? It is not possible to hurt me more than I have done myself already.

Should I follow the PUA route? Is it viable? Or just fantasy used to sell books and bootcamps? What alternatives are there? What to invest my time in? What to go all-out at? What to immerse myself into?

Sorry for my long text. I feel horrible lost for such a long time.

 

[Gamisch]

About two years ago I began doing volunteer work and this has a large positive impact on me. I got some social contacts and figured out that I can do a lot more than I thought about myself. I actually got a lot of compliments for my hard work. (I never imagined myself to be a hard worker and in my opinion I didn't even work THAT hard)

It is because of this work I attracted the attention of this amazing girl. Spending this much time with a girl has been an unique experience for me and I enjoyed it a lot (for a year we met up once a week). However it turned into one big drama for me because...you know...I don't know what I am doing, afraid, insecure and terrified of sexuality. She was literally naked next to me and I couldn't do it. Too much pressure, too little experience.

I didn't want to screw it up and because of this I screwed up.

I am 37 years old and never had a girlfriend and only recently got my first kiss. This "girl problem" I have is the very thing holding me back in my life. It makes me feel completly powerless, helpless and hopeless for I don't even know how to get a date. I literally don't know.

Should I do this cold approach thing? And where? Street? Shops? Bars (I never go there)?
I tried online, but even getting a response back is nearly impossible. I would also like to have social circle, but I have no idea how to get one. How do people make friends? Where to find people (especially girls because that is the goal)?

I am sitting at home right now and I don't want to. I want to take action to meet and date girls and I just cannot even think of what to do. This has been a problem for many years and I cannot think of a solution. So I end up playing yet another video game I don't want to play to distract me from this misery. I want to spend those hours, days, weeks, months on working on getting girls and I don't know what to do.

I have plenty of time and I could spend it all on solving this "girl problem" if I just knew where to begin. How to get dates? Normal people go on dates; where in the hell do they get them?

Is pickup still a thing? Is there anyone still doing it? Should I just go to a bar and approach every single girl? Many years ago I knew a guy, the most ****ty guy I ever met and he did this and managed, to my great surprise, to have lots of girls over at his place. But this was 20 years ago.

I want this ****ing problem to be dealt with as fast as possible. Only two years before I turn 40.

I understand the value of going to the gym and such things. However lifting weights does not automagically get me a date. Those are two separate things. Going to the gym takes me about a hour and no date.

And one date is not enough. I probably need a large amount of dates to get the experience and hopefully to finally get to **** a girl. Which in itself is nothing but practice for when I meet a girl I actually like (I did meet an amazing girl but screwed up because I never dated).

I am not ugly or fat or anything like that. Sure improvements can be made and I am not protesting improvements. That would be stupid even for me.

What do I spend my time on in order to get dates and to finally get to **** a girl? At this point I am not even aiming for a girlfriend because this idea alone is surreal to me. It must be amazing. The best thing in the world. And if anyone says a girlfriend is overrated I would like to judge that for myself.

I have many many hours, days and weeks at my disposal. I am willing to immerse myself completely. To go all-inn. To break all my limits. I don't care about rejections anymore. Why would I? It is not possible to hurt me more than I have done myself already.

Should I follow the PUA route? Is it viable? Or just fantasy used to sell books and bootcamps? What alternatives are there? What to invest my time in? What to go all-out at? What to immerse myself into?

Sorry for my long text. I feel horrible lost for such a long time.

Why wouldn't you hit the gym if you have so much time on your hands? Ofcourse you would rather be with a woman but she isnt there yet so..

Besides that, the gym is just a brick, and you wanna build a castle that will stand the test of time. Gym , clothes , money ,mindset ect all need to come together to yield results. Its never 1 thing.

You gotta wonder what stops you from going ALL IN. Is it shame? What stops you from going to festivals and talk to women? You are just a peasant in rgus life, a grain of sand in this universe. Nobody will lose sleep because you did or did not get rejected/ laid. You gotta live NOW. Dont wait.

Temporarily pro help might have a boost. Once you figure out what's the cause of your depression, you can build up other areas.

Remember , women should never (NEVER) be the endgoal for a man. They compliment your life but they dont make it. Because believe me , if that's the case there is a world full of hurt awaiting you..

 

[kakkerlak1985]

Why wouldn't you hit the gym if you have so much time on your hands?

Its just a hour a day and muscles will not grow harder if I spend 10 more hours a day at the gym. I am not arguing against it; I am saying that there are about 16 waking hours in a day and the gym only takes one. Let it be two and there are still 14 hours left.

You gotta wonder what stops you from going ALL IN.

I don't belief. I don't know what to do. I don't know what is real or fantasy. Countless guys who have girlfriends. What does everybody know that I do not? All I can see is a puzzle I cannot solve. I don't know how to even get a date.

What stops you from going to festivals and talk to women?

Fear. And I don't know what to say especially in such environments. Its a mystery to me why people even go there. Its like clubs or bars or restaurants. I don't understand what is supposed to be fun or enjoyable about it. Seems like a waste of money.

I feel like an alien from Pluto visiting Earth and observing all these weird human beings doing things that don't make sense. I don't belief people. I think they are lying or fooling themselves or something.

women should never (NEVER) be the endgoal for a man. They compliment your life but they dont make it.

I truly do not understand this. I am alone since birth and never wanted anything else than to not be alone anymore. The idea of a girlfriend is paradise to me. If you have a girlfriend then I consider you blessed by the gods themself. The only higher goal than this would be a family, something I never had. If you have one I consider you blessed by the gods themself.

world full of hurt awaiting you.

I only know hurt. I only know pain. My world is made out of it. A woman is the solution not the cause. I do not understand how a world full of hurt can await me when I am already in the middle of hell enduring endless torture.

Once you figure out what's the cause of your depression,

I am alone and confused. Is that not enough reason to be depressed? For more than 20 years there is only one thing on my mind and all I can do is try really hard to distract myself from it. I don't feel human.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Summary of my thoughts:

-If your foundations are rocky, a woman will just topple you over. The fact that you think that a woman will be a magic solution to your problems, proves that you are not ready, and you are not aware of how much damage they might inflict on you.

-Never open up to women. Many on this board, myself included, have done this mistake in the past, and as you can see, it'll bite you in the @ss. Women are children who need a strong adult, they can't handle vulnerability or our emotions.

-An extension of the above, see a psychiatrist. Sounds like you need an SSRI/SNRI + months of therapy. Women are NOT going to help you with this.

-Fill your day with activities. Gym, learn to play an instrument, build furniture, join a salsa club, go to an open mic night, go to concerts. Find what gives you pleasure and keep doing it.

-You're not that old. You're just giving up on yourself waaay too much.