Is there a time where "Nice guys finish first?"

[pipe007]

my girl told me that I'm nicer than other men she has dated, which I think its true, I am a really nice guy. I admit.

However, I have set my rules and expectations clearly, and I dont tolerate disrespect or dishonesty AT ALL, and she knows it, she knows perfectly that at the first sign of disrespect or dishonesty, she out of my life forever....

she has told me she is aware of this... so that's good, this is when beign a nice guy still works, because you have character and a backbone and you dont let other people walk over you... at all.

I make the decisions, and sometimes I wanna have her join me with my friends. I also am ok with her making plans and going out with her friends as long as she is aware of this dynamic where we can both make plans and be ok with that... there is no arguments about it.

this is a girl with high values and raised by a good family, so I guess that has to do a bit with it too.

 

[EvilAgenda]

Nice guys do not finish first. Ever. A woman will get bored and try to break away from the nice guy.

@$$holes attract women (but these relationships never last), and you do NOT have to be one to attract the woman you want.

If you want to attract and KEEP the woman you want almost effortlessly, you have to be a complete package. Most of us already have a rebellious intriguing bad side and a sweet sensitive good side.

Work on becoming a complete package. Just like when you spot a beautiful woman, she effortlessly grabs your attention, so can a woman spot a man who is a complete package. A man who is a complete package is way more rare than a beautiful woman. (in fact beautiful women are common, but what we call "real men" are extremely rare). Imagine someone who is confident, a great conversationalist, charming, determined, has his life's path and his goals figured out, well groomed, sensitive, and commanding, etc. How many guys do you know like this? Maybe one throughout your life if you are lucky. And how many beautiful women do you know or have you seen? Probably lots and lots.

Women fight for such a man, because women know, this man is a black diamond, rare, intriguing, confident, provides security and safety.

Once again, complete package means NOT BEING A BAD BOY JERK (women try to change these bad boys after they sleep with them, but it never works, and the relationship sooner or later falls apart).

With age, women might settle for a nice guy who provides safety and security and will treat them like a queen. A beautiful woman knows a nice guy will not cheat on her. But such a relationship has a lack of lust & attraction, and it is not why you are here.

 

[Maxtro]

No, nice guys never finish first.

I've been turned down by five (non-random) girls this semester. I had a little rapport which each of them.

My definition of a nice guy is somebody who doesn't stand out that much and doesn't posses the qualities that attract women.

Ugh, I think I'm done with this country. I wonder if I'll have a better chance in Japan?

 

[Cherokee]

do I need to say this again... its all about who gets them wet.

Nothing else matters. From the strict intelligent religious girls, to the skanky club generation.

What do you have going for you that makes them wet?

When you can answer this question, you will win.

Why is this all that matters?

Because its all about procreation.

 

[LoneWolf]

i've always been the nice guy but not JUST nice. i'm very charming, ****y and funny. i dress very well and always smell nice and look clean. i'm very polite and friendly and social.. i rarely meet someone who doesn't like me. i'm very confident and intelligent or at least it shows when i'm talking. very affectionate too.

so really in general i am a very nice guy to anyone. but when the time comes i know how to put my foot down if it comes to that. i'm not afraid of telling a girl to fuk off if needed. but yeah i do agree being JUST nice with no other qualities is very boring. you need more than that for attraction.

i've always been a real charmer with ladies so it gives me that vibe, especially if i'm seeing someone. the girl will try to hold on to me knowing many other girls are interested.

 

[CJ 101]

Nice guys do eventually get lucky with girls who've dated bad boys and left the relationship with 5 kids and alot of emotional baggage.

 

[f283000]

Nice guys do eventually get lucky with girls who've dated bad boys and left the relationship with 5 kids and alot of emotional baggage.

You mean the fatties on POF? :crackup:

 

[Mike32ct]

do I need to say this again... its all about who gets them wet.

Nothing else matters. From the strict intelligent religious girls, to the skanky club generation.

What do you have going for you that makes them wet?

When you can answer this question, you will win.

Why is this all that matters?

Because its all about procreation.

Agree. Whether she is a good girl, a bad girl or something in between, she will go after whatever guy makes her gina tingle.

The only thing I would add is that single moms like nice guys. They need a good provider to help them raise the kid she made with a bad boy.

 

[f283000]

Agree. Whether she is a good girl, a bad girl or something in between, she will go after whatever guy makes her gina tingle.

The only thing I would add is that single moms like nice guys. They need a good provider to help them raise the kid she made with a bad boy.

True but we have to differentiate between a milf and a single mom

single moms = the low quality women you see on POF looking for a daddy for their kids or a free meal, the bad boys got them pregnant, left them, now they like nice guys. These are usually younger in age (mid 20's to mid 30s) with young kids. Just browse POF and see what I mean.

There's an old saying "if you chase a**holes you will end up in S***" and for this women this actually happens as they ended up single moms on a bad situation.

For most women however this doesn't happen. They'll jump from jerk to jerk through their 20's only to finally settle for a nice guy around mid 30's or so after they have been banged like 20 times by different jerks and are used goods.

milfs/cougars = they don't like nice guys, 40 and above with kids out of the house or on their way out, these are your normal hot mature women who are either married or divorced and are not looking for a man as a way out of poverty or a daddy for their kids like single moms. They can support themselves or already have a man supporting them (husband).

There is a difference..

 

[mahoney]

Most "nice guys" really aren't very nice at all, but overly sensitive creeps with stalkerish undertones who are self-obsessed with how supposedly nice they are, focusing on themselves instead of others

Really struggling to see what is so "nice" about some of these nice guys

 

[( . )( . )]

Most "nice guys" really aren't very nice at all, but overly sensitive creeps with stalkerish undertones who are self-obsessed with how supposedly nice they are, focusing on themselves instead of others

Really struggling to see what is so "nice" about some of these nice guys

Wow took this long for someone to state the obvious.

Ive yet to meet a consistently "nice guy" and if I did I'd be scared shytless and looking for the battery at the back.

No such thing as "nice guys" , however there are fraudulant cowards who adopt the "nice guy" persona around chicks.

 

[PappyS]

Nice guys can get older women who are done having their fun- especially if the nice guy is financially secure. They can get single mothers who might see them as good, nurturing rent-a-dad material. But that isn't exactly finishing first.

They might finish first with good girl types. They can get foreign women. Finally, being nice can get them points with prostitutes. Working prostitutes are some of the only women who will reward men sexually just for being nice to them.

 

[Maxtro]

Since it needs to be said, "nice guys" are just guys who do poorly with women and don't act like total assholes or have anything particularly wrong with them.

The best way a woman can describe him is by calling him nice.

There is none of this "overly sensitive creeps with stalkerish undertone" shit.

 

[ArcBound]

Since it needs to be said, "nice guys" are just guys who do poorly with women and don't act like total assholes or have anything particularly wrong with them.

The best way a woman can describe him is by calling him nice.

There is none of this "overly sensitive creeps with stalkerish undertone" shit.

For anyone that hasn't figured it out a women calling you nice is usually an insult and a woman calling you an asshvle usually means you are doing something right!

 

[mahoney]

There is none of this "overly sensitive creeps with stalkerish undertone" shit.

Who is actually saying they are nice here? Themselves. Not the girl (certainly not the girl when asked by other people)

What is it that makes the 'losing out guy' so nice? And what is it that makes 'the guy she goes off with' an a$$hole?

Of the two, who is more likely to

a) be passive aggressive or overbearing, bringing up fact girl might have not responded to an email or text
b) pressure a girl into knowing 'where they stand' when its really not appropriate
c) bombard with texts
d) get overly attached too soon
e) expect contact within a specific time frame
f) be a stalker

and who is more likely to be

g) fun
h) give a girl they don't really know a bit of space

so who is the nice guy really?

i'm not saying 'all nice guys are stalkers' what i am saying is, out of this weird binary thats been made up here, which of the two is more LIKELY to be a stalker, and do you think girls are more wary of stalkerish types or players?

the risk is that the a$$hole is a player
the risk is that the nice guy is a stalker

a player is a lot less stressful and easier to get rid of than a stalker-type. and players can still be nice, stalker-types...not really

 

[handle]

Nothing wrong with being nice. Just don't be spineless and don't be afraid to be direct in your approach.

 

[powpow]

I was thinking about this today.

Yeah, nice can get you poon. Im talking quality poon. Poon that can differentiate between a d!ck and a true man.

Like when someone is being a ****, slinging around ******* vibe, you can come to the defense of the weaker person, as to say be cool. People will side with you, and you come out looking dominant.

Also, the most powerful people I know are nice. Bottom rung yakuza? Mean. Top rung yakuza? Nice as can be. But they will fvcking cut you to pieces if they want to. I think niceness to a certain degree radiates confidence. Girls dig that I think.

 

[zekko]

Who is actually saying they are nice here? Themselves. Not the girl (certainly not the girl when asked by other people)

What is it that makes the 'losing out guy' so nice? And what is it that makes 'the guy she goes off with' an a$$hole?

Of the two, who is more likely to

a) be passive aggressive or overbearing, bringing up fact girl might have not responded to an email or text
b) pressure a girl into knowing 'where they stand' when its really not appropriate
c) bombard with texts
d) get overly attached too soon
e) expect contact within a specific time frame
f) be a stalker

and who is more likely to be

g) fun
h) give a girl they don't really know a bit of space

so who is the nice guy really?

Very good point. The "nice guy" as described in pickup circles is not a nice guy at all. He's just a creepy, needy, pvssy. These guys describe themselves as nice because they think they are nice but they're not. They say "I'm a nice guy, why do I always get screwed over?". They're just trying to rationalize and justify themselves as to why the fail by claiming the deck is stacked against them - when it's really their own behaviors that are causing their problems.

 

[Maxtro]

Then I guess I'm not a nice guy because that list doesn't apply to me. I've also been called nice and too nice by girls.

I just classify myself as a decent guy who women aren't attracted to.

 

[RSanders219]

This is an interesting thread. I have a friend who fits in to the "nice guy" category with women, but this guy can be a total d0uche to me and the rest of our friends at times!

Example:
A couple of friends and I drive about 2 hours to go see a concert. The "nice guy" friend of mine has a girl he's been trying to get with who happens to be a friend of mine. She texts me asking what I was doing that night and I told her about the concert.

She then gets in touch with the "nice guy" friend and he goes to her house, picks her up and drives her all the way to this concert (without her throwing a single buck toward gas!).

So we're at the concert, and she's completely ignoring my friend who drove her during the whole concert. She's hanging out with me and my other friend and we're all having a ton of fun. He seemed kinda pissed and was being a pr1ck to us the whole night.

Then after the concert and going to a few parties, we all head home. The girl who had him drive up there gets in the car with me and the rest of our group, leaving the "nice guy" to drive home alone for the next 2 hours.

Did I mention this "nice guy" did not even like the music that was being played at the concert? What a waste of time on his part.



In retrospect of seeing these events take place, I would not say it's a Nice guy vs. Jerk debate. It's more of a Fun vs. No Fun debate. Exciting vs. Unexciting. Unique vs. The Same Coffee/Bar Date Guy debate. You have to keep the lady guessing, make her emotions jump around, and NEVER talk to her when you are in a bad mood.