Is there a time where "Nice guys finish first?"

women haze

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 20, 2009
Messages
485
Reaction score
23
Or is being a "nice guy" useless...Where would this world be if there were no nice guys?

I'm curious to see what would happen to civilization if there were no nice guys.
 

DJ422

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 25, 2011
Messages
57
Reaction score
1
Personally, I find the whole "Nice guy VS Bad Boy (or jerk as some people put it)" Debate to be a bunch of BS. It's all about confidence, being bold and acting. There are plenty of girls who like "nice guys". There just happens to be 5 times as many who for one reason or another are attracted to "bad Boys". Thats why it SEEMS that bad boys finish first, but They attract a different type of girl. I say, to each his own. You don't have to be a jerk to get girls, just confident.

Take this how you will. It doesn't matter if you subscribe to my philosophy or not, I just know what I've found to be true for me. I am a "nice guy" and I've had pretty good success so far, but I'm not a pro and will not claim to be one. That is... I'm not a pro YET.
 

Tiguere

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 15, 2009
Messages
1,023
Reaction score
64
yea niceguys always finish first with over the hill women. right after the bad boys have used them for years and turned them into damaged goods.
 

IamJosan

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
Messages
230
Reaction score
9
Location
LA
I think people misunderstand the 'nice guy' mentality. Being the 'nice guy' is doing what others want you to do, and allowing people to take advantage of you. As oppossed to the 'bad boy' who does what he wants and doesn't care what people think about him. It has nothing to do with being nice or bad.

I'm a nice guy, but I do what I want and I will never let anyone try to take advantage of me!
 

Packers2010

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 21, 2010
Messages
1,174
Reaction score
31
Age
34
Location
The Wild Wigga From the West
Tiguere said:
yea niceguys always finish first with over the hill women. right after the bad boys have used them for years and turned them into damaged goods.

this is so true man.

even the girl i had oneitis for 7 years decided it was a good idea to fvck me, MORE then once after she broke up with a LTBF.

so it CAN happen. in the RAREST of cases.
 

LuisGarcia10

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 9, 2004
Messages
311
Reaction score
8
Location
England
Some girls probably like it, at the end of the day this advice is not about machines, it's about humans, and everyone is different.
The so called "laws of attraction," are really only hazy rules, some people will be different to others, but there is however, a very noticeable pattern.
I have met women who have gone out with "nice guys" for ages, good looking women as well, but the vast majority do not.
The whole concept of being a "jerk," I find to be idiotic. I would never want to spend time with a girl so immature as to be turned on by some stupid teenage crush that she had on Colin Farrel or something.
It's not about being a jerk, or a nice guy, it's about being confident in your self, considering yourself to be of value, and worthy, and to convey that to a woman. There's no fool proof way to success with women sadly, but being confident, funny, popular, good job, plenty of hobbies interests, head strong amongst other things is probably the best start you can give yourself.
The thing is I don't see why anyone would want to be a nice guy, in the sense that it is meant on here. If you have all the things listed above, then why on earth would you be needy, clingy, self-doubting etc? You wouldn't. If you have all the things above you would never be short of opportunites with women, sure, you won't be able to get ANY girl, but there will always be options, good options as well, so you lose that neediness and desperation organically, without having to force it.
My personal opinion is if you focus on improving yourself then success with women will follow automatically, it's certainly worked for me.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,074
Reaction score
8,922
Sadarac152 said:
Personally, I find the whole "Nice guy VS Bad Boy (or jerk as some people put it)" Debate to be a bunch of BS. It's all about confidence, being bold and acting.
I pretty much agree with that.

The problem is that the pickup definition of "Nice Guy" is spineless wussy. That's always a formula for losing. A lot of people out in the real world would think of a nice guy as a friendly, social, guy who treats other people with respect, and will help out another person in need. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact that guy will probably get a lot of chicks. But the pickup community twists "nice guy" into being someone who is a doormat for others and lets them take advantage of him. Which is a different thing altogether.

I would say nice guys (not the pickup version) finish first all the time. No one ever notices it however, because then they can't get outraged and say "Why do women always go for the jerks?".

Actually, the pickup definition of a "jerk" probably isn't really a jerk, either. In pickup terms, a jerk is just a guy who maybe uses some C&F and goes after what he wants. In the real world, a jerk is a rude, selfish, worthless person.
 

DonGorgon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 28, 2007
Messages
4,685
Reaction score
103
Location
Studying the fact that all lies contain fragments
women haze said:
Or is being a "nice guy" useless...Where would this world be if there were no nice guys?

I'm curious to see what would happen to civilization if there were no nice guys.
Nice guys do well with girls who:

are ugly
are crippled
are not popular
are fat
are not players
are not turned out
are friendless

or are genuinely nice good people (.01% of the female population so dont expect to find her)

no humans are all good or all bad .. try and find a balance and that is best
 

Cherokee

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 12, 2009
Messages
157
Reaction score
9
The thing about a girl being raised by a good family with proper morals rings true to an extent. This type of girl will go for a nice guy, although he may not spark that instantaneous animal attraction...

The guy who gets the girl, is the guy who makes her wet. End of discussion. It doesn't matter who you are or what you do. Get her dripping and shes yours, nothing else matters. Most girls interpret attraction for love, because love without sex is just a friendship.

It's nature and nurture which decides who you are.
 

badboyjmm

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 25, 2010
Messages
424
Reaction score
47
Location
Canada
zekko said:
I pretty much agree with that.

The problem is that the pickup definition of "Nice Guy" is spineless wussy. That's always a formula for losing. A lot of people out in the real world would think of a nice guy as a friendly, social, guy who treats other people with respect, and will help out another person in need. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact that guy will probably get a lot of chicks. But the pickup community twists "nice guy" into being someone who is a doormat for others and lets them take advantage of him. Which is a different thing altogether.

I would say nice guys (not the pickup version) finish first all the time. No one ever notices it however, because then they can't get outraged and say "Why do women always go for the jerks?".

Actually, the pickup definition of a "jerk" probably isn't really a jerk, either. In pickup terms, a jerk is just a guy who maybe uses some C&F and goes after what he wants. In the real world, a jerk is a rude, selfish, worthless person.

I agree that the PUA community uses the definition of nice guy as being a doormat, but they do have a point.
Here's the origin of the word nice: http://www.answers.com/topic/nice

"Middle English, foolish, from Old French, from Latin nescius, ignorant, from nescīre, to be ignorant."

I also agree that it's not black or white, nice guy vs jerks. IMO most people are in the middle, but often are too eager to please somebody else or they are too full of themselves and people take it as confidence. Perhaps it was more easy and more profitable for the pua community to explain the way to behave with women by explaining the two extremes rather that trying to included every type of personally between those two extremes.

I rather say to a guy that dating is a filter to get a good girl than saying that he should just wait until that right girl come to him...
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,074
Reaction score
8,922
badboyjmm said:
Here's the origin of the word nice: http://www.answers.com/topic/nice

"Middle English, foolish, from Old French, from Latin nescius, ignorant, from nescīre, to be ignorant."
Ha, ha, very good, I wasn't aware of that. But even if that's what the root of the word is, that isn't the actual meaning in our language. Check the definition from the link you provided.

badboyjmm said:
Perhaps it was more easy and more profitable for the pua community to explain the way to behave with women by explaining the two extremes rather that trying to included every type of personally between those two extremes.
Yeah, I agree that's probably what it is - just a teaching tool. The problem is guys read this and aspire to be actual jerks, and go around acting like actual jerks, thinking it will get them women. And if they BELIEVE this, they will be more confident and act more boldly and succeed, and then they will conclude that being a jerk is the right thing to do, when it was actually the confidence and bold action that worked for them.

It's good to maybe be a BIT of a jerk though - being C&F, having some swagger, maybe being a little too self absorbed - I've found this works out well with my personality. But that's not the same as being a full on @sshole.
 

Wolfgang D

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 11, 2011
Messages
242
Reaction score
23
The thing is, "Nice guy" is used sarcastically. It's about when a woman says to someone who can't get a girlfriend, "You're such a nice guy, I'm sure you'll find someone." (Just not her.)

"Nice guy" is what women say about good guys who they don't date. And a guy gets tired of hearing how nice he is. "If I'm so nice, why won't she date me?" You'd think working hard and being a good person would be enough. It isn't. Not if you want to get the MOST ATTRACTIVE, MOST DESIRABLE WOMEN who everybody else is also after. Then you need more to stand out from the crowd.


Lots of other guys than jerks get women. But what is strange is that the jerks get women who shouldn't be touching them with a ten-foot pole. "Why the hell does she go out with that jerk?" So that's why looking at what they do is interesting.

So it's not about not being nice. It's about being able to thrill.
 

rum

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 20, 2011
Messages
140
Reaction score
4
Nice guys with money clean up pretty nicely...
 

Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

bankai

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2008
Messages
48
Reaction score
0
I saw this old lady struggling with her groceries and decided to help her to the parking lot. When we got there she was waiting for her ride to arrive, her ride turned out to be her grand-daughter.

I ended up dating that girl for awhile.

so YES, being nice is good. Keep in mind there's a difference between nice and being a push-over.
 

PapiChulo

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 30, 2010
Messages
1,295
Reaction score
61
Location
Canada, eh?
Badboyjmm is right on the money!
 

powpow

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 6, 2011
Messages
382
Reaction score
11
Location
Hawaiian Jungles
I have "saved" a few girls by being a nice guy.

and by "save" I mean "steal her away from her d!ck boyfriend".

If you can combine alpha and nice, then you can get some poon.
 

nismo-4

Moderator
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
4,422
Reaction score
1,128
Location
From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
DonGorgon said:
Nice guys do well with girls who:

are ugly
are crippled
are not popular
are fat
are not players
are not turned out
are friendless

or are genuinely nice good people (.01% of the female population so dont expect to find her)
And even then an @$$hole still wins!

Nice guys finish first when they're extremely handsome, popular, and rich.

Nice guys finishing first is some fairytale sh*t and only happens in the movies.

Case closed.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,074
Reaction score
8,922
Wolfgang D said:
"Nice guy" is what women say about good guys who they don't date.
To add to the confusion, women will often describe the guy they're really into as "nice". "What's he like?" "Oh, he's so nice". I've heard this a gazillion times, and yes the girls are genuinely very attracted to them. In fact, if they are attracted to the guy, they will consider him nice (give him the benefit of the doubt) whether he is or not.

nismo-4 said:
Nice guys finish first when they're extremely handsome, popular, and rich.
That's the whole key. It's all about value.
Being "nice" in itself is not an attracting factor.
You have to have something going for you, being fun, tall, dominant, handsome, having social proof, fame, wealth, something.

Once she's attracted, and it turns out you're nice (not the pickup definition), that's fine, that's a plus. But you have to attract her first, being nice will not attract her.

It's like a guy wants a nice girl. But he isn't going to be attracted to the ugly fatty. It doesn't matter if she's nice or not. He's going to notice the pretty girl first, and then find out if she's nice or not.
 

At this point you probably have a woman (or multiple women) chasing you around, calling you all the time, wanting to be with you. So let's talk about how to KEEP a woman interested in you once you have her. This is BIG! There is nothing worse than getting dumped by a woman that you really, really like.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Top