DOES RACE REALLY MATTER? I THINK I'M JUST RAFC WHO NEEDS TO LEARN
I go back and forth on whether an Asian male specific guide is necessary or not. In the meantime, I'm in the field pursuing white, asian, persian, indian, latin women, whatever whatever. The following example is of a cold approach on a white female target. I'm not sure what difference race made in this approach (I'm Asian, she's white), but it just goes to show race is not necessarily a barrier. I thought I'd post this field report here since my original thread (mature man's bootcamp is dying a slow death due to lack of participation and defections).
Question: Did I essentially flub an invite back to her place that night when she told me where she lived? My gut reaction is that I stupidly followed a "venue change to a bar, followed by an excuse to go to her place" script too dogmatically in the following approach. Feedback welcome. Live and learn....
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DJ Boot Camp,
Week 7, Day 13 (Friday):
6/10/2005, 6 PM:
I head over to another cafe after number closing a HB7.5 Asian girl at Starbucks. I walk in the door and scan the environment. There are two HB7.5's; one to my left and one to my right. The HB on the right has a pretty face and a cute dress. She is seated alone but the table closest to her is six feet away from her, too far to have an intimate chat with her table to table.
There's an empty seat right next to the HB on my left however. I take that seat. I take out my papers and start working for about five minutes. She's studying and seems to be concentrating intently, occasionally looking out of the cafe window. She's about 5' 2",
blonde streaked hair, maybe 21 yrs. old. She has a thin body and very pretty face. I'd say she's 7.5, at least.
Me: do you have a final coming up?
Her: (This girl's body language is much better the Asian HB earlier this afternoon. She has a big, big smile, her eyes are wide open, and she immediately turns her body to me, with her arms back and on the armrests rather than folded across her body). Yes! I had one yesterday and I have one on Tuesday.
We fluff for a while. I ask her what her major is, where she works what she likes to do for fun and so on. I ask her name. She asks mine. I give her my hand. She shakes with one hand, and places the other on top
of my hand. Nice.
I tell her we should get a drink and celebrate the end of the year. She looks very, very surprised. Her mouth is wide open and she just stutters: uuuuuuh. I tell her to give me her number. I get out my cell, punch in her name and major...
Her: Yea, that's good.
...and give her the cell to punch in her number.
I click 'call' on my cell after she punches in the digits.
Me: hey, you're (cell) phone's not ringing.
Her: It's my home phone.
Me: oh ok, I wanted to call you so you'd have my number.
Her: you'll get my answering machine. You can leave the number on there if you want.
I ask her when she's finishing up her studies today. She says she's going to go to another cafe and study for another two hours. She asks me how long I'll be working tonight. I remain vague and say I have to work a bit longer.
Me: I'm getting a drink later. Come with me.
Her: She thinks for a second. Nooo, I have finals. I can't!
Me: Yea, I shouldn't drink either. Come get a drink with me.
Her: ha ha ha! Noooo, I can't!
Me: yea, I shouldn't either. Come get a drink with me.
Her: haha ha! Nope, I can't!
I repeat this like three more times, kinoing her by rubbing her arm or tapping her arm each time.
We talk about some good bars and cafes in LA. I tell her there's a great place I want to check out within walking distance of my place. I tell her she should get a drink with me when her finals are over.
Her: (Next) Wednesday? Maybe!
She asks me where I live. I tell her I live a couple of miles from here (the cafe). She tells me she lives on street x, cross street y. 'Do you know where that is?' She says her place is right around the corner from the cafe, pointing outside. I tell her I have to get going. I tell her that I'm going to give her a
complimentary massage.
Her: oooooh.
I get behind her and rub the base of her neck, her shoulders and upper arms.
Me: oooh, you're really relaxed through the shoulders--if you were tense, you'd be scrunched up like this (I imitate someone with their shoulders scrunched up).
Her: (moans softly). ooooooh, mmmmmm. I slowly rub her shoulders and arms, up and down.
Me: I better get going. (I lean down and place my cheek next to hers).
Her: she leans over and gives me a wet kiss on my cheek.
Me: I bail, but as I swig the last of my coffee, I'm so nervous I spill the coffee on my shirt! I hope she didn't see that!
Lesson learned: I need to work on my inner game. I have some self defeating/self limiting beliefs. I tend to believe that you need to 'take a girl out' or 'date' her before she wants sex. This is totally untrue. The second girl above was good to go with me back to her place within the hour, even with her finals coming up. She gave me her exact address and wanted to know where I lived. She reacted well to my kino/massage and initiated kino with hand holding and a kiss.
