Is there a female equivalent of a DJ?

[wait_out]

Perhaps I'm opening up a can of worms here... what I mean are women who dedicate themselves to self-awareness, self-improvement, and holding themselves and their partners to fair principles of behavior in their relationships.

Perfection, no. Girls are emotional, so are we, it's ok to have a tantrum in a relationship as long as fault is ascribed fairly afterwards and atoned for. But seriously, where's the drive towards excellence and accountability in women?

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Here's the context.

After getting a solid head check years ago and putting in the effort to develop myself as a person in every facet of my life, I've found that I've come out as the prize and that compatible women are depressingly limited. Most girls slide by on sex appeal and have expended very little effort to become interesting, unique, or developed people. And no you can't tell from looks. When I was I bike courier, I saw so many bored looking secretaries sitting on their ass all week, waiting for life (by which of course I mean a man) to intercede and save them... hottest chicks I'd ever seen by far and they lived like slugs. And they're snobs based on looks? Unreal.

I meet cool girls rarely and every time it kicks ass. The problem is, my life is chaotic, I don't see them that much, I end up living in places without a social circle to help filter women. I feel like I'll have to sleep with 100 girls who are total strangers to find 1 who doesn't misrepresent herself... I am not so keen on the drama to follow, boys. I want good times and relaxation included with the 'tang, not more stress.

Shouldn't there be some kind of nascent female movement or at least an online community that says girls need more than a tank top to be owed a good relationship? Maybe it's our own fault for not holding women to high standards of behavior... but seriously, aren't there women out there who realize this sh_t has to be 2-way to work? Why do so few women understand they need to match the levels of effort than a guy will put into his life, if good relationships are tied to equality?

Maybe we could send out a collective message to women: "start trying harder"?

The Mature Man sub-forum: "The emotionally-developed, more-or-less rational and acceptably non-cluster B woman?"

I've seen individual girls who knew what was up -- god bless em -- but why have I never seen a *socially encouraged* drive towards achievement, knowledge of self, and personal responsibility towards others in women?

Granted I'm pretty far removed from everyday society -- but after reading about the f'n Twilight phenomenon I'm in despair. Unremarkable high school chick nabs gorgeous superpowered vampire for committed LTR because she "smells good". If this is any indication of the relationship expectations of the modern female, our society is totally ****ed.

Sometimes I really want to stab myself in the eyes for being physically attracted to certain girls. Oh man they're stupid. My body and my mind are going radically different directions on this one.

Their taste in music usually sucks too

 

[Jitterbug]

I've seen individual girls who knew what was up -- god bless em -- but why have I never seen a *socially encouraged* drive towards achievement, knowledge of self, and personal responsibility towards others in women?

There's no such thing for men either. This DJ self improvement gig, if made mainstream, would be attacked left, right & center by feminazis, manginas and the PC brigade.

This stuff doesn't make anyone rich (but the individual). That's why it's not encouraged. Can you imagine those individual girls you mentioned spending huge amount of money on fashion & some other lame sh!t that women burn their CCs on?

I second your disgust for the Twilight BS. It's disturbing how many 15-30 yo women are so obsessed with it.

 

[horaholic]

I think they're called Nuns.

 

[jophil28]

What the f' is "Twilight" ? Eye shadow?

 

[dubAllStar]

Brilliant post.

 

[Colossus]

Great post.

The short answer to your question is no. There isnt any appreciable collective social movement of such parameters in the world of women. To add perspective, however, keep in mind that our 'community' here is really pretty small. I mean were talking a few hundred guys; maybe 50 or so who post and contribute regularly. It's not like the SS army has been churning out Men of Value by the gross.

I think the ATTITUDE and frame we try to live by here is more common among men; even men who have had no exposure to SoSuave or another related resource. I know this is a massive over-simplification but it's a socio-biological thing. Men collectively reinforce this phenomenon by taking whatever they can get or choosing women primarily on looks alone. The media doesnt help either.


I think the bottom line is there really hasnt been a sufficient impetus for women to develop this and promote among their peers. When it comes to mate selection women are horribly cutthroat and deceitful amongst each other. What benefit would it be to Sally if Jane has the same tools as her?

Maybe it's our own fault for not holding women to high standards of behavior...

Their taste in music usually sucks too

I know!! I'm trying to think of the girls Ive known who had a nice, diverse palatte for music, AND were hot...less than 10, for sure.

 

[Colossus]

What the f' is "Twilight" ? Eye shadow?

Hahahaaha...Twilight is this uber-disgusting book series about a high school girl who falls in love with some dreamboat vampire. They dont even have sex until the fourth or fifth book!!! Who the hell would want to read that...



Oh, right. Women.

 

[jophil28]

Hahahaaha...Twilight is this uber-disgusting book series about a high school girl who falls in love with some dreamboat vampire. They dont even have sex until the fourth or fifth book!!! Who the hell would want to read that...



Oh, right. Women.

Sounds likle a remake of the old "Beauty and the Beast" story. Phantom of the Opera..King Kong ?

"Woman falls in love with horrible ugly monster, Only she can see his "soft " side. They fall in love and she transforms him into a prince through the "power " of her love.
Why do women have an insatiable appetite for stories of relationships which are doomed, or f'uked from day 1, or just impossible but seem to come true in literature only ( or the monster dies tragically and she suffers ).

Are women addicted to the emotions aroused by "the struggle and the turmoil " .

When are we going to see " Woman falls for short, nervous CPA who still lives with his mother ".

 

[Warrior74]

When are we going to see " Woman falls for short, nervous CPA who still lives with his mother ".

When you watch a woody allen film, that's when!:crackup:

 

[SoylentGreen]

I have always noticed this about women, they think cause they are pretty and are wearing the high fashion clothes that they are the "sh!t" and often, they have NOTHING else going on for them - they aren't especially good at work, have no creative talent, no real opinions on anything outside of the television or the telephone. A lot of women have NO depth of character

I even made a post about it once ---->

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=156040

I was kind of annoyed how some guys thought it didn't matter if a girl was interesting or not, but to me, I like brains AND beauty, thats just how I roll I guess...

 

[Duffdog]

I don't think that there ever will be any kind of movement that takes away from the primary female job of "being hot." While its nice to think that men are able to look beyond the allure of beauty to some higher form of attraction, its highly unlikely that it will ever happen. Imagine if you will, meeting your soulmate who has everything in the world you could possibly want-- but is not attractive or is an amputee. It is very difficult for a male, whose initial attraction is based solely on visual cues, to look beyond those defects. Attraction is basically a form of filters with smaller and smaller orifices. It starts out with all the attractive girls, then out of that group comes the smart girls, out of that group comes the loyal girls and so on until you have found the one you want. But, no ugly girls are allowed into the smaller filters because they have been screened out in the beginning.

Asking people to go the other way and hope that the female has virtuous qualities first and is physically attractive second borders on hopeless. It is akin to asking females to bypass their genetic programming to have offspring with the greatest chance of survival and just go for the "nice guys."

 

[mrRuckus]

Asking people to go the other way and hope that the female has virtuous qualities first and is physically attractive second borders on hopeless. It is akin to asking females to bypass their genetic programming to have offspring with the greatest chance of survival and just go for the "nice guys."

No one said this i don't think.

The problem is that by the SECOND filter you already filtered them all out.


There are still lots of guys who aren't AFC and are good looking. But few women have much more than looks.

Men do everything interesting. Best writers, best comedians... I can't even think of one female comedian that's funny. But lots of women think male comedians are funny. The female comedians i can think of my head are horrible.

Women just aren't all that entertaining or interesting for the most part. They have their moments sometimes, i guess, sure. But i know way more guys who have interesting things to say and do quite frequently... and guess what.. while i don't care they are often still good looking guys. Why do guys possess both things but women don't?

 

[jh0]

I disagree, there are two pretty funny chicks out there, Sarah Silverman and Chelsey Latley.

 

[Colossus]

While its nice to think that men are able to look beyond the allure of beauty to some higher form of attraction, its highly unlikely that it will ever happen. Imagine if you will, meeting your soulmate who has everything in the world you could possibly want-- but is not attractive or is an amputee...

Interesting you mentioned that.

I recently dated a girl who was born without the lower half of her right arm. She wore a prosthesis. At first it didnt really bother me; I mean she was pretty cute and had a really sweet disposition, so there was enough attraction there for me to overlook the arm.

But after we became sexual---that's when it got weird. Obviously she doesnt leave her prosthesis on all the time, so when clothes came off, so did the arm. I tried to ignore it but it got to the point where it totally bugged me out. It was just too bizzare for me when mixed with sex and touching.

We only hung out a few times so it wasnt bad breaking it off---but I felt bad. She actually complimented me on how relaxed I was about it, which tells me other guys must really get bugged out. It wasnt just the arm, to be fair---she was kind of an early-stage clinger so I had to cut it either way.

Women just aren't all that entertaining or interesting for the most part. They have their moments sometimes, i guess, sure. But i know way more guys who have interesting things to say and do quite frequently... and guess what.. while i don't care they are often still good looking guys. Why do guys possess both things but women don't?

I totally agree. If you point this out around most people you will get blasted and shamed for being a sexist, but it's true. When was the last time you met a girl who was really compelling? Or funny? Or just a girl with fresh, interesting views? I for one, cant remember. They love to shame you on this saying "you just didnt take the time to get to knoowww her". Yeah whatever.

On the other hand, I know a number of interesting guys...and even more who are freaking hilarious. And they were hilarious from day one.

Women mostly just look good and flap their gums. Sorry ladies, I know you arent all like that, but your sex is pretty boring.

 

[wait_out]

Woman’s role is being a giver of temporal pleasure and physical producer of man’s children, in each role she earns her worth by and through men.

Basically, woman means sexuality. Funnily enough as a part of living in denial some women got persuaded in this. I have witnessed several times women far from being attractive (not only by my standards) were behaving as if they were sexual goddess, worth kilos of gold and were even accusing male colleagues of sexual harassment (a thought which would have never crossed a sound mind of an accused man).

Surprisingly women who have managed to master the survival strategies derive a certain pride from living this way. Some, apparently educated, learned how to exploit the concept of being inaccessible sexual goddess and coming out with ways how to sell themselves expensively and worthy. Ironically, the repression of women maintained to a large extent by other women.

The collary of objectification is narcissism.

This quote refers not to the narcissism of Western women, but that of Afghan women, who've internalized the lessons of a highly repressive Islamic society. Despite the fact that our societies that treat women in ways that are about 1000 years removed, the EXACT same dynamic of objectification is at play here, and these girls react in the same way.

So much for the "modern woman"... I found this by accident on the same day as the original post totally by accident. Point being women are sacred (or defiled) sexual icons in both our societies and little else and respond identically.

I don't think much else could illustrate what an abject failure feminism was in the personal/sexual sphere -- a rigidly conformist philosophy putting gender identity, victimization and meaningless 'solidarity' ahead of women realizing their individual potential. Every cool independent girl I've ever met detests it. Curiously enough most of the women I get along with, respect, or considered a serious relationship are full-on beautiful, not compensating. I wonder how they managed to stay grounded... it's unusual.

I was at a thanksgiving dinner once in the US with a family I didn't know. They had a beautiful 14 year old daughter who swanned in and everyone fawned over, she was obviously getting off immensely on the attention and fishing for more... all I could think is "this is going to create a monster". Nobody told her sadly... people ask nothing of women, and they deliver.

Twilight is remarkable for having nothing but self-involved drama at the core of it's story. Nothing of value is achieved and the characters have value inherently, rather than through their actions and thinking. I can imagine ten years later when the 102-year old vampire is still attending high-school classes and Bella is bored stiff watching soaps all day getting fat because the drama's ended. Kill me now.... honestly it's fascinating to look at the criticisms of it and see what's applicable to our female friends.

It seems sexist to say that women serve best as light entertainment and sexual release most of the time, but other than flirting teasing and fvcking what can you do? They are in a matrix of their own.

 

[STR8UP]

I totally agree. If you point this out around most people you will get blasted and shamed for being a sexist, but it's true. When was the last time you met a girl who was really compelling? Or funny? Or just a girl with fresh, interesting views? I for one, cant remember. They love to shame you on this saying "you just didnt take the time to get to knoowww her". Yeah whatever.

I've known ONE. I dated her for about a year.

I think the last time I had my IQ tested I was like 120-130ish and she is smarter than I am. She was worldly, cultured, open minded, and in many ways was unplugged from the matrix.

The big problem was that she wasn't feminine enough.

It would seem that "interesting" is actually a masculine quality......

 

[insidious]

Most girls slide by on sex appeal and have expended very little effort to become interesting, unique, or developed people.

A prized realization for a 28-year-old to stumble upon

Hold on to that thought and do not ever let it go, for it shall be the guiding principle for the remainder of your life.

 

[wait_out]

A prized realization for a 28-year-old to stumble upon

Hold on to that thought and do not ever let it go, for it shall be the guiding principle for the remainder of your life.

I've known *that* since I got manipulated out of a cool job teaching kids to ride bikes for the first time in their lives, when I was 16 or so, by 2 other teenage girls that knew how to flirt, drink, and show their party pictures to the boss. To be fair that rests mostly on the program director; his choice, but not something 2 guys my age could have accomplished. That's really not BS: I had tons of positive support from the kids and clients, as well as the most experience there, since I was invited in at the inception by the program founder (who also got pushed out under shady circumstances). I was really quite bitter about it at the time.

That's no new realization, but after all the garbage we get fed about women "maturing faster", the way they seem to plateau out has surprised me.

STR8UP, regarding femininity & sexual attractiveness being shallow, making the effort to be attractive to guys is an empathetic quality. It means they understand what we want, and want to satisfy us without judging us for it. I once saw a comedy-horror film where the ditzy playboy bunny morphed into the gritty moral center of the anti-zombie war effort, with the admission the act is for the boys... yes as long as it's an act we appreciate it LOTS.

This is different from girls who break the bank on fashion to push their own sexual value, and then demand special and entitled treatment... like I say looks are not an indicator because they don't speak to motivation.

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BTW Sarah Silverman's piece in The Aristocrats was by far and away the funniest thing in that movie. The joke is actually at 5:30 and it's brilliant.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3GnuJPy9QA

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I don't believe that girls are any less capable of being excellent human beings than guys. It's just for men we acknowledge it takes hard work, effort and dedication -- while for women... ah... the problem is too many guys are actively oppressing them?

So, relationship dialog:

Girl: You're an amazing person!
Guy: Thanks, are you?
Girl: No... but you have to fvck somebody, right? I'm in love!

FFS.

There's worse problems to have in life than this (women showing up for dates covered in cvm anyone?), but the one-sided and oblivious nature of the female thought process here is a little aggravating. It's actually easier to find girls who understand they underqualify and are only down for a fling, than girls who understand they need to be amazing themselves.