ok, i thought i'd start a topic which im sure is going to get me reamed like there is no tomorrow, but so be it.
a lot of guys go on about how there aren't enough hot chics, or how hot chics are b*tches / AW / disrespectful, or how every hot chic has 20 guys pursuing her at any given time.
now i'm goign to lay down some truth that a lot of guys do not want to hear. and it goes against the DJ principles that you can score any chic.
you can't. some women are going to be out of your league.
the reality is that some people are more attractive than others. that's life. and while people don't want to acknowledge this it is a HUGE factor. if you can't tuck in your shirt with your flab hanging over your belt you have a very low probability of scoring with a hb 9.
and yes, i know everyone is going to throw out examples that prove me wrong. examples of a short guy with a tall hot chic and stuff. but in those scenarios i guarantee you that there are other factors at play (status, money, etc.).
if you're an average looking joe, with an average job and average income and average status - using DJ principles will not score you the hb9. or to score her you are going to have
1) work your ass off like no tomorrow
2) constantly be working your ass off to keep her
3) will eventually lose her to guy with higher status.
that is life.
what i think a lot of guys need to do is ask themselves... honestly and brutally... what league they are in terms of looks. I have a feeling there are lots of guys who average looking in here (which isn't a bad thing!) who want to believe they are da bomb. who wan't to believe that the only thing holding htem back from scoring all the hotties is their attitude / technique.
this is what id call the DJ matrix.... this absurd belief that you can score any chic with the right attitude.
instead, what guys should be doing is coming to grips with who they are. there is nothign wrong with being average in looks! and theres nothing wrong, in such case, with hooking up with average women. things are going to flow much more naturally in that pairing than if you manage to score some chic that is in a different league.
now when i say different league, im not saying that she is better than you. what im saying is that she is being chased by guys who are more attractive, and who know all the same DJ skills you've got (but in truth they dont need the skills to get hte girl, looks and personality will do that. although they could use the skills to keep the girl, which they are often bad at doing).
anyway, the only problem with the DJ matrix is that it almost creates a fantasy world. im all about REALITY, which is why im making this post.
ironically, the problem with both the DJ matrix and the common world matrix, is that they both espouse (directly or indirectly) that men MUST score hot women.
but both matrices are flawed. because the reality is that there are only so many hot women to go around and 95% of them are going naturally hook up with guys of respective attractiveness.
what would serve men better is coming to grips with who they are in terms of their attractiveness. once a man can say 'you know something, i've got what god gave me, and i'm probably about a 6 on the attractiveness scale' , so much of life would fall into place for them.
they could then either hit the gym to get their rating up, or they can stop worrying that they can only score hbs 5-7.
this is a tough post to make because im encouraging men to acknowledge that there are limitations to the dating world. that sometimes they have to lower their standards.
but im saying this because i think it needs to be said. i think there are a lot of guys out there who don't appreciate women who are interested in them because they are secretly wishing they had a hb9. then the relationship goes to sh*t and they can't figure out what happened. what happened was that they were often giving off vibes that they weren't happy with their partner.
women do this also. plenty of women will date a couple notches below their own hb rating. and over time they start getting b*tchy and what not for no apparent reason - but the reason is that they don't feel satisfied, they don't feel like they got all they could.
i know, this makes the world sound pretty cut throat, but this is the way it works.
if you are a 6, and a woman is an hb9, she is NEVER goign to value your attention, opinion, etc. the way she should.
whereas if you are a 6 and are dating a hb6, she's going to appreciate you a hell of a lot more.
i think the guys who are REALLY successful with women have a very realistic understanding of the range they can work in. the guys who score tons of numbers know, for instance, that their chances are very good with hb7-9 or hb4-6 or hb5-7, etc.
anyway, the reason im posting this is that there is so much discussion on these boards about hb9s and 10s. and i'm not upset or saying anyone has to stop, but i really wish people would stop. i wish folks would re-orientate their focus from this obsession with hb9s to how to best interact with women.
but to do that people have to accept that we all have limitations. until you can look in the mirror and say 'you know, i'm a 7 and that's fine. because im a 10 out of 10 as a person! so im goign to go find me a good woman who is at least a 7 and she's going to go nuts for me." - until you can do that i don't think you're really ready to be scoring with chics.
the reality is i think a lot of guys on here are not even thinking about their own attractiveness rating, and they are going out into the world and ignore women in their own class and pining over the hb9's and 10s (which is why these women are such b*tches, because they get way more attention than they should).
hey, i wish i could come on here and tell everyone that how you look doesn't matter. but it does.
and i think a lot of guys are not dealing with reality. sometimes you've got to just say to yourself 'forget the hb10s, they aren't worth my time. i'm going to plough the fields that will reap me the harvest."
and when you do this, often times, you will no longer resent the hb10s. heck, its not their fault they are hot. if god made you a 7, he made them a 10, so be it, no big deal. and you will actually find yourself appreciating women who would actually be good for you and your life.
and the big kicker is that you may even find yoruself being able to be friends with an hb10 without wanting to get in her pants. and ironically enough, a few of them may actually jump your bones for this exact reason!
alright, i've said my peace. i think there is a DJ matrix and a real world matrix, and i think guys need to unplug from both of them.
i dont want to see guys constantly having issues with AWs and being in relationships where they are treated like crap just because they are playing the game a little out of their weight class.
now, a lot of you are going to say 'oh thats bullsh*t. no chic is out of my class". and im not saying that most chics are. most of them probably aren't.
but i think a lot of guys pain would go away if they'd stop focusing on picking fights with heavy weights when they are middle class. there are lots of middle class fights that you'll enjoy a lot more and probably win.
anyway, its a mistake i've made in my life. i'd say im about a 7. but im a VERY good conversationalist. i mean, i'm VERY VERY good at getting inside a woman's head. you know those guys 'in the hood' who can strip a car bare in like 5 minutes, that's me when it comes to people (including women).
as a result i've had the interest of plenty of 8's and 9s. and i passed up on tons of 6s and 7s (not all, but many). and looking back on it, it was stupid. while i was able to score the 9, keeping her was another story.
a week? fine. a month? ya, ok. 3 months? mmm, ya. 6 months? no way.
because at the end of the day, as time goes on, discrepancies in your compatibility will erode the interest level you have in each other.
as usual when i post on a whim my thoughts are not as clear and precise as they should be. but the ultimate point is that i really wish most gusy would STOP pining for the hb9's and 10s (in essence putting them up on pedastals) and woudl start eating some of the fruit that is readily available to them! if they did that many of them would go from low self esteem guys to suddenly high self esteem ladies men.
a lot of guys go on about how there aren't enough hot chics, or how hot chics are b*tches / AW / disrespectful, or how every hot chic has 20 guys pursuing her at any given time.
now i'm goign to lay down some truth that a lot of guys do not want to hear. and it goes against the DJ principles that you can score any chic.
you can't. some women are going to be out of your league.
the reality is that some people are more attractive than others. that's life. and while people don't want to acknowledge this it is a HUGE factor. if you can't tuck in your shirt with your flab hanging over your belt you have a very low probability of scoring with a hb 9.
and yes, i know everyone is going to throw out examples that prove me wrong. examples of a short guy with a tall hot chic and stuff. but in those scenarios i guarantee you that there are other factors at play (status, money, etc.).
if you're an average looking joe, with an average job and average income and average status - using DJ principles will not score you the hb9. or to score her you are going to have
1) work your ass off like no tomorrow
2) constantly be working your ass off to keep her
3) will eventually lose her to guy with higher status.
that is life.
what i think a lot of guys need to do is ask themselves... honestly and brutally... what league they are in terms of looks. I have a feeling there are lots of guys who average looking in here (which isn't a bad thing!) who want to believe they are da bomb. who wan't to believe that the only thing holding htem back from scoring all the hotties is their attitude / technique.
this is what id call the DJ matrix.... this absurd belief that you can score any chic with the right attitude.
instead, what guys should be doing is coming to grips with who they are. there is nothign wrong with being average in looks! and theres nothing wrong, in such case, with hooking up with average women. things are going to flow much more naturally in that pairing than if you manage to score some chic that is in a different league.
now when i say different league, im not saying that she is better than you. what im saying is that she is being chased by guys who are more attractive, and who know all the same DJ skills you've got (but in truth they dont need the skills to get hte girl, looks and personality will do that. although they could use the skills to keep the girl, which they are often bad at doing).
anyway, the only problem with the DJ matrix is that it almost creates a fantasy world. im all about REALITY, which is why im making this post.
ironically, the problem with both the DJ matrix and the common world matrix, is that they both espouse (directly or indirectly) that men MUST score hot women.
but both matrices are flawed. because the reality is that there are only so many hot women to go around and 95% of them are going naturally hook up with guys of respective attractiveness.
what would serve men better is coming to grips with who they are in terms of their attractiveness. once a man can say 'you know something, i've got what god gave me, and i'm probably about a 6 on the attractiveness scale' , so much of life would fall into place for them.
they could then either hit the gym to get their rating up, or they can stop worrying that they can only score hbs 5-7.
this is a tough post to make because im encouraging men to acknowledge that there are limitations to the dating world. that sometimes they have to lower their standards.
but im saying this because i think it needs to be said. i think there are a lot of guys out there who don't appreciate women who are interested in them because they are secretly wishing they had a hb9. then the relationship goes to sh*t and they can't figure out what happened. what happened was that they were often giving off vibes that they weren't happy with their partner.
women do this also. plenty of women will date a couple notches below their own hb rating. and over time they start getting b*tchy and what not for no apparent reason - but the reason is that they don't feel satisfied, they don't feel like they got all they could.
i know, this makes the world sound pretty cut throat, but this is the way it works.
if you are a 6, and a woman is an hb9, she is NEVER goign to value your attention, opinion, etc. the way she should.
whereas if you are a 6 and are dating a hb6, she's going to appreciate you a hell of a lot more.
i think the guys who are REALLY successful with women have a very realistic understanding of the range they can work in. the guys who score tons of numbers know, for instance, that their chances are very good with hb7-9 or hb4-6 or hb5-7, etc.
anyway, the reason im posting this is that there is so much discussion on these boards about hb9s and 10s. and i'm not upset or saying anyone has to stop, but i really wish people would stop. i wish folks would re-orientate their focus from this obsession with hb9s to how to best interact with women.
but to do that people have to accept that we all have limitations. until you can look in the mirror and say 'you know, i'm a 7 and that's fine. because im a 10 out of 10 as a person! so im goign to go find me a good woman who is at least a 7 and she's going to go nuts for me." - until you can do that i don't think you're really ready to be scoring with chics.
the reality is i think a lot of guys on here are not even thinking about their own attractiveness rating, and they are going out into the world and ignore women in their own class and pining over the hb9's and 10s (which is why these women are such b*tches, because they get way more attention than they should).
hey, i wish i could come on here and tell everyone that how you look doesn't matter. but it does.
and i think a lot of guys are not dealing with reality. sometimes you've got to just say to yourself 'forget the hb10s, they aren't worth my time. i'm going to plough the fields that will reap me the harvest."
and when you do this, often times, you will no longer resent the hb10s. heck, its not their fault they are hot. if god made you a 7, he made them a 10, so be it, no big deal. and you will actually find yourself appreciating women who would actually be good for you and your life.
and the big kicker is that you may even find yoruself being able to be friends with an hb10 without wanting to get in her pants. and ironically enough, a few of them may actually jump your bones for this exact reason!
alright, i've said my peace. i think there is a DJ matrix and a real world matrix, and i think guys need to unplug from both of them.
i dont want to see guys constantly having issues with AWs and being in relationships where they are treated like crap just because they are playing the game a little out of their weight class.
now, a lot of you are going to say 'oh thats bullsh*t. no chic is out of my class". and im not saying that most chics are. most of them probably aren't.
but i think a lot of guys pain would go away if they'd stop focusing on picking fights with heavy weights when they are middle class. there are lots of middle class fights that you'll enjoy a lot more and probably win.
anyway, its a mistake i've made in my life. i'd say im about a 7. but im a VERY good conversationalist. i mean, i'm VERY VERY good at getting inside a woman's head. you know those guys 'in the hood' who can strip a car bare in like 5 minutes, that's me when it comes to people (including women).
as a result i've had the interest of plenty of 8's and 9s. and i passed up on tons of 6s and 7s (not all, but many). and looking back on it, it was stupid. while i was able to score the 9, keeping her was another story.
a week? fine. a month? ya, ok. 3 months? mmm, ya. 6 months? no way.
because at the end of the day, as time goes on, discrepancies in your compatibility will erode the interest level you have in each other.
as usual when i post on a whim my thoughts are not as clear and precise as they should be. but the ultimate point is that i really wish most gusy would STOP pining for the hb9's and 10s (in essence putting them up on pedastals) and woudl start eating some of the fruit that is readily available to them! if they did that many of them would go from low self esteem guys to suddenly high self esteem ladies men.
