Is theory detrimental?

[Bossman90]

Has anyone found that PU theory to be detrimental to your social skills and game?

 

[DonJuanabe]

PU being different than DJ, right? I don't do PU but I've tried to ingrain the DJ mindset which I think is good for a man's emotional health.

 

[youngmack]

Not really, but dont listen to them...Just whip out your WeeWee and put it on her hand

 

[Buddha_Mind]

If you start seeing the world as alphas vs betas and get wrapped up in that psychology...well...you're going down a dark and twisted road...

If you learn to see yourself as strong and work to actualize your dreams...some of these principles can jive nicely...or, can sure help you see where to waste your time less.

The big message is don't let this board turn you Sinister.

I have found after reading a slough of depressing threads it just breeds cynicism...this is not always helpful nor will help you get to where you ultimately want to go.

Take things with a grain of salt. Make your own truths based on your experiences and your research.

 

[jglide123]

If you start seeing the world as alphas vs betas and get wrapped up in that psychology...well...you're going down a dark and twisted road...

If you learn to see yourself as strong and work to actualize your dreams...some of these principles can jive nicely...or, can sure help you see where to waste your time less.

The big message is don't let this board turn you Sinister.

I have found after reading a slough of depressing threads it just breeds cynicism...this is not always helpful nor will help you get to where you ultimately want to go.

Take things with a grain of salt. Make your own truths based on your experiences and your research.

Agreed. Guys spend entirely too much time theorizing about seduction, especially PUAs. The funny thing is, I've yet to meet a normal guy who claims to be a pick up artist. Show me a guy who is a Mystery Method practitioner, and I'll show you a weird and lonely fella....

Basically, I've come to realize that really all you need are social skills, basic flirting skills, and time interacting with people--women primarily--to become skilled at dealing with people/women.

Along the way, you find out what works the best for you. Most of this stuff is common sense when you really think about it.

 

[Droz88]

I'm starting to really believe that it is. However, this site is full of so much good info. Being aware of what attracts women (confidence, sexuality) and how certain behaviors can "friendzone" you while others can make her think of you as a sexual partner is priceless info. Also, knowing about the games that women play is very beneficial so you don't let them use you and waste your time. But yes, I agree that thinking about it and letting it consume your every waking thought is detrimental.

 

[muscleman]

"Pickup theory" is just focused social skills and fundamentals of power as it relates to seduction.

Now, when you do unplug from the Matrix and see how you've been wrong, how "I can't believe this stupid sh!t works", you will most likely become disenchanted at some point. It's a phase of a larger process of self development, and a passing one at that.

Eventually you will realize how much power you actually have (self-actualization), and that's when life becomes really fun.

Your chances of finding a "quality woman" off the bat are almost nil. They need some semblance of malleability, but they need to be trained. By you.

PS. If you want to take a break from the "tips and techniques" and learn the CORE philosophies, I strongly suggest you read The 48 Laws of Power and The Art of Seduction (both by Robert Greene) and begin applying. It will change all aspects of your life.

 

[csycpr]

Yes, when you put in in terms of "PU theory" I tend to think it's been detrimental. It's not to say I disagree with the concepts, but it has made my interactions "less natural," in the sense that I tend to overthink things and try to apply (my loose grasp of) theory to what is going on. It's probably case of information-overload more than anything. I think fixing one or two key concepts in mind and then just taking action (rather than thinking) is the best way forward. I have a weakness for theories and ideas in general, though, so this is probably more of a problem for me personally than it is for other people.

 

[JohnChops]

"Pickup theory" is just focused social skills and fundamentals of power as it relates to seduction.

Now, when you do unplug from the Matrix and see how you've been wrong, how "I can't believe this stupid sh!t works", you will most likely become disenchanted at some point. It's a phase of a larger process of self development, and a passing one at that.

Eventually you will realize how much power you actually have (self-actualization), and that's when life becomes really fun.

Your chances of finding a "quality woman" off the bat are almost nil. They need some semblance of malleability, but they need to be trained. By you.

PS. If you want to take a break from the "tips and techniques" and learn the CORE philosophies, I strongly suggest you read The 48 Laws of Power and The Art of Seduction (both by Robert Greene) and begin applying. It will change all aspects of your life.

That and I reccoment book of look and how to be an alpha male. Two great books that have helped me so much.

 

[The Gambler]

I first read "The Game" by Neil Strauss a few years ago, and really enjoyed it. I decided to reread it just a couple of weeks ago, and can barely make it halfway through.... I'm not saying he isn't being truthful in the book, but frankly I don't see most of the information there being a fit for me. And yes, I understand that "The Game" is a sensational, impractical, milquetoast essay that was written more for entertainment than as a true guide on how to pick up women.

Frankly, the nuggets of useful information from that book can be found right here in this forum -- the stuff that IS practical and helps to boost your confidence, and to get yourself in good mental and physical shape.

It usually takes a while for an aspiring DJ to sift through all the information and decide what is best for himself or herself personally. Many tips and theories seem to contradict others, but in reality different tips are meant for different types of people (different personality types, different ages, different goals, etc.)

On thing is certain. I will NEVER tell someone to wear a pink feather boa and use the line "I would SO be into you if I weren't gay."

The Gambler

 

[Kbomb]

I first read "The Game" by Neil Strauss a few years ago, and really enjoyed it. I decided to reread it just a couple of weeks ago, and can barely make it halfway through.... I'm not saying he isn't being truthful in the book, but frankly I don't see most of the information there being a fit for me. And yes, I understand that "The Game" is a sensational, impractical, milquetoast essay that was written more for entertainment than as a true guide on how to pick up women.

Frankly, the nuggets of useful information from that book can be found right here in this forum -- the stuff that IS practical and helps to boost your confidence, and to get yourself in good mental and physical shape.

It usually takes a while for an aspiring DJ to sift through all the information and decide what is best for himself or herself personally. Many tips and theories seem to contradict others, but in reality different tips are meant for different types of people (different personality types, different ages, different goals, etc.)

On thing is certain. I will NEVER tell someone to wear a pink feather boa and use the line "I would SO be into you if I weren't gay."

The Gambler

minus the pink boa that line would probably work wonders.

 

[Boilermaker]

Has anyone found that PU theory to be detrimental to your social skills and game?

You ask a valid and good question. Probably yes. It's really like how too much theory is detrimental in science and engineering.

The more complicated the theory; the better chances of it being bull-sh!t.


Beginners tend to respect theory more than "real world experience" and that's the danger. Over-analyzing menial stuff, theorizing instead of trying can lead to eventual failure creating bitter old men, who complain about the women because they "figured out" that their theories have come to a dead end.

As long as you have a sound, simple understanding and you really try it out outside, without respecting anything a priori, you are probably on the right path.

What did Master Nimzo say? (Not Nizmo)

Theory , And Practice hold the key.

 

[zekko]

Yes, when you put in in terms of "PU theory" I tend to think it's been detrimental. It's not to say I disagree with the concepts, but it has made my interactions "less natural,"

Yeah, all this stuff is just life. I think you're better off just engaging girls in a natural way, being yourself. Unless yourself is a total raving pvssy. The point is to be bold, lose your fear, talk to the girls you're attracted to, don't be afraid to touch them, etc. Other than that, I think most of the "tips and tricks" are largely bullsh!t, even if they are based on a solid principle.

 

[csycpr]

Yeah, all this stuff is just life. I think you're better off just engaging girls in a natural way, being yourself. Unless yourself is a total raving pvssy. The point is to be bold, lose your fear, talk to the girls you're attracted to, don't be afraid to touch them, etc. Other than that, I think most of the "tips and tricks" are largely bullsh!t, even if they are based on a solid principle.

Ya know, I've been such a damn pessimist lately that I had to really stop and think about that. But nah, although I admit I'm too timid when it comes to escalation, it's a stretch to call me a "total raving pvssy." Phew, close one.

But this is where tips and stuff come sometimes come in handy: when I want to escalate and know that I should escalate and can tell that the time is right to escalate...and I still freakin don't. But this is also where too much theory just trips me up. I think "keeping it simple, stupid" would be the best principle here. (After all, it's only a girl, sheesh. lol)

 

[betheman]

Yeah, all this stuff is just life. I think you're better off just engaging girls in a natural way, being yourself. Unless yourself is a total raving pvssy. The point is to be bold, lose your fear, talk to the girls you're attracted to, don't be afraid to touch them, etc. Other than that, I think most of the "tips and tricks" are largely bullsh!t, even if they are based on a solid principle.

succinct but correct in my opinion.

 

[Kbomb]

Everything we do is laden with "Theory". It can be helpful or detrimental depending on each situation.