Is the DJ way really better or am I just missing something?

[B0SS MAN]

A little bit of background:
During middle school, I would develop these severe one-itis for these girls but I would eventually get over them. Even still, some of these girls would like me but I would become too clingy and scare them off. Going into ninth grade, I never got any physical act from this girl but she would send me pictures and all that stuff but I was too scared to make a move (I had pretty bad confidence issues back then). Anyway, my one-itis with her got ridiculous and she ended up with an older guy and I went through that whole depression thing. It was then that I realized I wanted to change so I started looking for techniques and all that.

So for the end of freshman year and the whole summer, I downloaded a lot of DeAngelos stuff and started trying that. I had success with one girl but it failed to work on the ones I wanted (Sometimes I even wonder if this hurt me more than it helped me). So that eventually landed me here last October. And while I have gained a lot of confidence in myself and am no longer a sensitive, submissive guy anymore, I have less success than I did before. None of the girls that I have tried talking to have ended up liking me.

Besides for this fat chick (eww) and this one girl over the summer, I can't even remember a girl liking me since that one-itis before freshman year. Why is this? And I am a lot happier as a person now than I was years ago but I still haven't been able to wrap my hand around the opposite sex.

 

[MrP]

Same here man. Just go approach a bunch of girls. I'm preparing myself for a lot of approaches over the next couple of weeks. We can do it together!

 

[War Against Betaism]

What exactly are you doing differently? The one thing that many people pick up on first is trying to be indifferent/being too much of the "reward" and avoiding conversation with the girl as much as possible. I think people like this technique the most because it's the easiest. It's also the most self destructive. It actually reminds me of me kind of; before learning about all this stuff, I would talk to girls for 3 hours a day on MSN, and then learned about "being indifferent", and reduced it to only like 10 to 30 minutes a day.

I've noticed that my success has actually went down because I would never really connect with the girls since I spent even less time talking to them. The being indifferent technique really only works if you have super tight game and can gain rapport in an instant/have super good looks.

 

[B0SS MAN]

Yea, part of it was indifference. I also started not trying to be so sweet, not trying to impress the girl, and having more self respect for myself and not putting up with their nonsense instead of taking it personal and say sorry after everything she got upset about.

 

[War Against Betaism]

You have to remember that those books that you're reading were tailor made for adults aimed to pick up beautiful but b*tchy women who have been exposed to clingy men their entire lives. You're in high school, the girls you're targeting have little to no experience with that type of stuff. Besides, for high school people I hate David DeAngelo's stuff. In reality, David D's material is manipulated to make his words sound more appealing and marketable for desperate men to gobble up.

In high school the most important thing is having good social skills, which is an area that is NEVER or poorly covered in most dating books. If you want a real book that will actually help you get anywhere in high school, "How to Make Great Conversation and Small Talk" is what I recommend.

 

[eaglez1177]

A little bit of background:
During middle school, I would develop these severe one-itis for these girls but I would eventually get over them. Even still, some of these girls would like me but I would become too clingy and scare them off. Going into ninth grade, I never got any physical act from this girl but she would send me pictures and all that stuff but I was too scared to make a move (I had pretty bad confidence issues back then). Anyway, my one-itis with her got ridiculous and she ended up with an older guy and I went through that whole depression thing. It was then that I realized I wanted to change so I started looking for techniques and all that.

So for the end of freshman year and the whole summer, I downloaded a lot of DeAngelos stuff and started trying that. I had success with one girl but it failed to work on the ones I wanted (Sometimes I even wonder if this hurt me more than it helped me). So that eventually landed me here last October. And while I have gained a lot of confidence in myself and am no longer a sensitive, submissive guy anymore, I have less success than I did before. None of the girls that I have tried talking to have ended up liking me.

Besides for this fat chick (eww) and this one girl over the summer, I can't even remember a girl liking me since that one-itis before freshman year. Why is this? And I am a lot happier as a person now than I was years ago but I still haven't been able to wrap my hand around the opposite sex.

Well first off, I personally am against all those stupid books. Heck, in my opinion, I think any who charges money to give someone dating advice is not doing it for the right reasons, and is just in it to simply make money. When this happens, the quality of the "advice" given is sacrificed. It isnt as good compared to a guy who genuinely wants to help others truly improve themselves, rather than just say what everyone wants to hear and just make money.

I think your real problem here is that you rely too much on the result. You cant do that when it comes to girls. If every man put soo much on his results, putting them as "successes" or "failures", he would go crazy. You have to shake off failures like theyre nothing, and realize that what your going through is a big period of change. Nobody said that you would automatically start getting all the girls you wanted. Its going to take time. Its going to have its ups and downs. You say that you are more confident, and have changed alot on the inside, but have you truly done that? Or are you just fronting a cover?

It would help if you could be a little bit more specific on what exactly your problem is, idk maybe give us examples of your failures or something. What your saying is pretty much "Ive changed myself alot, but still dont get girls. Why?" Its a very general question, to which I will admit, I could only really respond with a general response.