Is taking a break ok or weak.

[Foe]

Week four out of a 2.5 year BPD relationship, everything is bland.

When my marriage ended (13 years) I had this real drive and hunger to hit the single scene and take as many woman as I could but this time I just cant seem to get into it. Ive resigned myself to just focusing on myself for a while but is this a beta/weak move? Is it going to rob me of momentum or opportunity that I should be embellishing (is it too black pill?) or is it considered ok?

Im still f%$d from this stupid thing and looking to get out of this head space asap, getting under a new woman hasn't really seemed to do anything.

 

[DarwinTaurus]

Im still f%$d from this stupid thing and looking to get out of this head space asap, getting under a new woman hasn't really seemed to do anything.

I think you answered your own question here. Ie: You need to focus on yourself, get your headspace right, before you are ready to get out there again. I'm going through a similar situation. I'm going to work on my health: diet and exercise, style, and overall well-being.

 

[BuckledWheel]

Take the time out. Get your head right & as @DarwinTauris has said concentrate on yourself. You need to build back your confidence. 4 weeks is not enough to clear your head. Be selfish. Don’t go looking for it. If it comes to you spin a plate or two. It happens to us all at some point.

 

[Fruitbat]

Definitely take a break.

If you’re emotionally weak, it will go wrong. I don’t mean this as an insult - we all get like this after bad experiences.

i came out of a really bad breakup and got in it right away, and the wrong sorts of women will see it on you like a tractor beam.

 

[CoandaEffect]

Definitely take a break, it’s a very healthy thing to do. I wish women would do it but most seem to just move from one guy to the next.

Get you head straight, your instinct will tell you when it is time to put yourself out there again.

 

[RBK]

Take a break bro, work on you. If you like reading Marcus Aurelius "Meditations" is a great book on stoism and might be good for you in the headspace you are in right now.

 

[ubercat]

Yep guy time. Fix something or make a project on you car etc. Play some sports. Sports meetups r good for lightweight social with minimal drama

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Take a break bro, work on you. If you like reading Marcus Aurelius "Meditations" is a great book on stoism and might be good for you in the headspace you are in right now.

+1
Just started re -reading it for the 3rd or 4th time. He makes you feel like it's your duty to be the best man you can be.

 

[jaygreenb]

Week four out of a 2.5 year BPD relationship, everything is bland.

When my marriage ended (13 years) I had this real drive and hunger to hit the single scene and take as many woman as I could but this time I just cant seem to get into it. Ive resigned myself to just focusing on myself for a while but is this a beta/weak move? Is it going to rob me of momentum or opportunity that I should be embellishing (is it too black pill?) or is it considered ok?

Im still f%$d from this stupid thing and looking to get out of this head space asap, getting under a new woman hasn't really seemed to do anything.

Focus on strengthening any area of weakness in your life. Get a hard workout in every day, it will help you mentally. You probably have some unresolved issues from childhood if you get drawn into this type of relationship. Find a therapist that has experience with cluster b relationships. If you focus heavily on self improvement for a few months, by the time you are getting over it you will be a new man and ready to hit the scene. The most important thing you can do is no contact, that includes social media. Block her everywhere. It is like getting over a drug addiction. Any contact just resets the timer.

This is the thread that brought me to this site 10yrs ago. A ton of good info in it

BPD ex.... 3 months out - need some advice

I've been really struggling lately getting over my BPD ex. I finally broke it off for good over 3 months ago and immediately went into my "get over it" routine of the gym and dating multiple girls. I have never had a relationship that was so hard to get over and honestly feel like a loser for...

www.sosuave.net

 

[Foe]

Unbelievable guess who just messaged me after 4 weeks.......

"Did you know that studies show that people who are really emotionally connected synchronise their breathing and heartbeats when they make love. "

This is the test to myself Ive been waiting for.......Must....remain.....strong......

 

[SW15]

It's ok. Sometimes it is needed. There can be a need to resolve certain life issues prior to actively attempting to meet someone.

 

[DarwinTaurus]

Take a break bro, work on you. If you like reading Marcus Aurelius "Meditations" is a great book on stoism and might be good for you in the headspace you are in right now.

Great book, I have a copy in my personal library.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Ive resigned myself to just focusing on myself for a while but is this a beta/weak move?

That is the best thing a man can do in my opinion and a strong move.
Focus on your own sh$t and build your life the way you want it, the rest will come as result out of that.

Or said in another fashion:
Don't chase girls, chase excellence.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Marcus Aurelius

Is awesome.

 

[2Rocky]

Find Joy in yourself and your own accomplishments. +1 to the advice to take on a project. BPD has you addicted to external validation. Gotta wean off that.