backbreaker
Master Don Juan
this is kinda a running motif here on this forum you will hear someone say something to the linking of "only if you want to have children should you get married" or " i don't want kids"
you get the sense by some that kids is not something that is seen as a want here on this forum at least that's how i take it. Kinda like saying the fact that you want kids, or children one day is saying you can't be an alpha male with children.
or it could be that kids generally equal LTR / marriage.
I don't think having kids is a bad thing. obviously lol. I think that personally however people have kids way too soon in life and people know too many people with kids that should not for various reasons have kids and it kinda puts a damper on things.
I personally and this is my personal opinion don't take it for gospel, that everyone shoudl strive to be a parent at some poi n their lives. i think you should go out and live your life, have your fun, do you for a while but some point, look to raise a child when you are emotionally and financially stable enough to have so.
I personally would not have a child if i did not know i could pay for him to go to private school and could not easily handle all of the regular kid things that come up in a child's life.. little league baseball, trips to the doctor, the slumber parties, toys, toys, clothes, ice cream, toys, etc, random trips to mc donalds for happy meals, the basketball goal in the back yard, piano /karate/whatever lessons
i think the problem is that children have become a strategic access in the game of the sexes. women, who control reproduction, see kids as a way to tie a man up and you have too many 23-24 year olds having children who can barley take care of themselves and it's stressful.
having a son is pretty bad ass honestly. and this coming from someone who never saw himself as a dad, and today i consider myself a father first and foremost before anything. but i also know that i am emotionally and financially able to support my son. i am emotionally able to not take out my day or my feelings on him when he does something I don't like. I work from home so he sees me /climbs on me pretty mjuch all day long when he's home.
at the same time we have a babysitter on call whenever WE want to do something she can be here in 20 minutes usually or we can drop him off over her house. he doesn't eat crap we don't have a house full of ****ty food, we aren't weaning him on fried chicken and little debbies.
I remember seeing this girl with a child some years ago and one night she wanted to go out but she could only afford to pay a babysitter 1 night a week to go out and she had already went out. i could not live like that or see how people do.
anyway, i am just see a lot of animosity towards having kids. It just has to be done on the males time table not the females.
I look at me and my little sister. my mother had me when she was 19 years old. we were not poor, but we were not well off either. my mom was still in college, we lived in a very middle class life style. I didn't want for very much as a child but i mean we weren't rich. we lived in a small house, i went to a pretty avg public school growing up, we didn't take any real vacations, my mom drove a petty avg car. i did not leave the state of Arkansas until i was what, 13 years old.
not only that, my mother, and father sacrificed a LOT because of me. I did not want for a lot but at the expense of them wanting a lot. i harp on my dad's issues and my mom's religion but they were pretty sweet parents honestly for the most part. made sure i did good in school, kept me busy with stuff outside of school, etc.
left
on the other hand, my mother had my sister, the DAY i left from high school (no joke). i left my graduation and went to the hospital.
my mom since having me and growing up now makes over 100k a year, lives a very upper middle class lifestyle. and you can just see how much easier and natural it is for her now than it was with me. my sister has never been to a public school in her life. they travel somewhere just about every other month. my sister has already been on a cruise. hell I have never been on a cruise. she's already been out of the country. i did not leave the country for the first time until i was in my 20's.
also, like, my now deceased grandmother (miss you grandma
) basically "raised me" for all intents and purposes. I stayed at her house before i caught the bus i stayed there after i ggot dropped off from school, i stayed there just about every other weekend with my other cousins. if i needed help with my home work she would call one of my cousins to help me. my mom was in college and when she got out of college she was a career woman.
but now, my mom is home everyday at 4:30-5pm and after that her entire attention is to my sister. my best friends dad would have to pick me up to go to our little league baseball games because mom was at work, my mom now is front row to ever one of my sisters basketball games.
the difference is now my mom can financially and emotionally support her. There is some draw back to that. she's much more spoiled than i ever was. i knew at an early age if i wanted something i had to go get it. like my mom bought me a PlayStation but if i wanted more than 1 game a year lol i hato go make money to support my video game habit myself. she got me my first car but if i wanted it to not look like crap and to have a nice sound system i had to get to work and do it myself. now my mom can't walk into best buy without buying 2-3 games for my sister and her wii.
you get the sense by some that kids is not something that is seen as a want here on this forum at least that's how i take it. Kinda like saying the fact that you want kids, or children one day is saying you can't be an alpha male with children.
or it could be that kids generally equal LTR / marriage.
I don't think having kids is a bad thing. obviously lol. I think that personally however people have kids way too soon in life and people know too many people with kids that should not for various reasons have kids and it kinda puts a damper on things.
I personally and this is my personal opinion don't take it for gospel, that everyone shoudl strive to be a parent at some poi n their lives. i think you should go out and live your life, have your fun, do you for a while but some point, look to raise a child when you are emotionally and financially stable enough to have so.
I personally would not have a child if i did not know i could pay for him to go to private school and could not easily handle all of the regular kid things that come up in a child's life.. little league baseball, trips to the doctor, the slumber parties, toys, toys, clothes, ice cream, toys, etc, random trips to mc donalds for happy meals, the basketball goal in the back yard, piano /karate/whatever lessons
i think the problem is that children have become a strategic access in the game of the sexes. women, who control reproduction, see kids as a way to tie a man up and you have too many 23-24 year olds having children who can barley take care of themselves and it's stressful.
having a son is pretty bad ass honestly. and this coming from someone who never saw himself as a dad, and today i consider myself a father first and foremost before anything. but i also know that i am emotionally and financially able to support my son. i am emotionally able to not take out my day or my feelings on him when he does something I don't like. I work from home so he sees me /climbs on me pretty mjuch all day long when he's home.
at the same time we have a babysitter on call whenever WE want to do something she can be here in 20 minutes usually or we can drop him off over her house. he doesn't eat crap we don't have a house full of ****ty food, we aren't weaning him on fried chicken and little debbies.
I remember seeing this girl with a child some years ago and one night she wanted to go out but she could only afford to pay a babysitter 1 night a week to go out and she had already went out. i could not live like that or see how people do.
anyway, i am just see a lot of animosity towards having kids. It just has to be done on the males time table not the females.
I look at me and my little sister. my mother had me when she was 19 years old. we were not poor, but we were not well off either. my mom was still in college, we lived in a very middle class life style. I didn't want for very much as a child but i mean we weren't rich. we lived in a small house, i went to a pretty avg public school growing up, we didn't take any real vacations, my mom drove a petty avg car. i did not leave the state of Arkansas until i was what, 13 years old.
not only that, my mother, and father sacrificed a LOT because of me. I did not want for a lot but at the expense of them wanting a lot. i harp on my dad's issues and my mom's religion but they were pretty sweet parents honestly for the most part. made sure i did good in school, kept me busy with stuff outside of school, etc.
left
on the other hand, my mother had my sister, the DAY i left from high school (no joke). i left my graduation and went to the hospital.
my mom since having me and growing up now makes over 100k a year, lives a very upper middle class lifestyle. and you can just see how much easier and natural it is for her now than it was with me. my sister has never been to a public school in her life. they travel somewhere just about every other month. my sister has already been on a cruise. hell I have never been on a cruise. she's already been out of the country. i did not leave the country for the first time until i was in my 20's.
also, like, my now deceased grandmother (miss you grandma
) basically "raised me" for all intents and purposes. I stayed at her house before i caught the bus i stayed there after i ggot dropped off from school, i stayed there just about every other weekend with my other cousins. if i needed help with my home work she would call one of my cousins to help me. my mom was in college and when she got out of college she was a career woman.but now, my mom is home everyday at 4:30-5pm and after that her entire attention is to my sister. my best friends dad would have to pick me up to go to our little league baseball games because mom was at work, my mom now is front row to ever one of my sisters basketball games.
the difference is now my mom can financially and emotionally support her. There is some draw back to that. she's much more spoiled than i ever was. i knew at an early age if i wanted something i had to go get it. like my mom bought me a PlayStation but if i wanted more than 1 game a year lol i hato go make money to support my video game habit myself. she got me my first car but if i wanted it to not look like crap and to have a nice sound system i had to get to work and do it myself. now my mom can't walk into best buy without buying 2-3 games for my sister and her wii.
