Is she trying to keep me a secret?

[vanballmoos]

So I’ve been with my girlfriend coming up on a year. She is a complete knockout. Has 1500 followers, but only follows 500.

She’s posts some selfies every once in a while...like every few months? But she’ll also posts quotes, scenery, etc. every once in a while too. My issue is not in the single year that we’ve been together has she posted a picture of us together. She has posted a pic of us together on her insta story like twice, but that disappears after 24 hours.

I brought this up to her and she said until we’re more solid she’s not posting pics of us (we’ve been on and off quite a bit). She added that’s she’s done the whole adding pics of her boyfriends before just to end up taking them down when they’ve broken up and she doesn’t want to do that because people get all in her business and know that a breakup has occurred. She ideally would want pictures up when she’s engaged.

I haven’t posted any pictures of us either BUT that’s only because I’m following her lead.

Is she trying to keep me hidden?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Bringing this up to her shows insecurity on your part and that's also a turn-off for her. You shouldn't care if she posts pictures of the two of you on social media, and the fact that you have been on and off again quite a bit in that year really negates any seriousness that the total timespan would otherwise imply. If you have been on and off, she probably thinks there is a good chance you won't end up long-term so her explanation does make sense and if I were in her position I'd do the same thing (and I HAVE done the same thing with past plates or GFs).

I'm sure you'll get a lot of replies of people saying she doesn't want you in the pics so she can keep her options open and how awful of her that is, but honestly we should all be keeping our options open when we are dating someone we don't see as an ideal match for us. In the last four years, there has been only ONE girl I have posted pics of myself with on social media, despite my dating many women in that time period (the exception is that I will often post pics of myself with multiple attractive women in a group setting, but almost never pics that clearly show I am with one specific woman).

You want HER asking YOU why YOU aren't posting pics of the two of you on social media. Not the other way around. You are definitely in the wrong frame here. I would consider spending more time analyzing why you've been on-off so much and why she isn't head over heels for you.

 

[LuksSkywalker]

Has 1500 followers, but only follows 500.

There's your answer my friend.
If after almost a year she's not posting any pics with you, she doesn't want to lose her followers.
She either doesn't take you seriously or has a huge ego problem and just your attention isn't enough for her.

 

[CopperHead]

What @oldmanofthesea said. It sounds like she is being straight forward with you. She said she would post them when you are more solid, you aren't at that stage yet. As you said yourself, you have been off and on, and haven't been together for a year. If you are trying to lock her down, you may end up just pushing her away with your neediness.

 

[vanballmoos]

Bringing this up to her shows insecurity on your part and that's also a turn-off for her. You shouldn't care if she posts pictures of the two of you on social media, and the fact that you have been on and off again quite a bit in that year really negates any seriousness that the total timespan would otherwise imply. If you have been on and off, she probably thinks there is a good chance you won't end up long-term so her explanation does make sense and if I were in her position I'd do the same thing (and I HAVE done the same thing with past plates or GFs).

I'm sure you'll get a lot of replies of people saying she doesn't want you in the pics so she can keep her options open and how awful of her that is, but honestly we should all be keeping our options open when we are dating someone we don't see as an ideal match for us. In the last four years, there has been only ONE girl I have posted pics of myself with on social media, despite my dating many women in that time period (the exception is that I will often post pics of myself with multiple attractive women in a group setting, but almost never pics that clearly show I am with one specific woman).

You want HER asking YOU why YOU aren't posting pics of the two of you on social media. Not the other way around. You are definitely in the wrong frame here. I would consider spending more time analyzing why you've been on-off so much and why she isn't head over heels for you.

That’s the thing, we are serious. We’ve been on and off because of arguing.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

That’s the thing, we are serious. We’ve been on and off because of arguing.

Obviously not serious enough for her not to post pictures of the two of you on social media and her not asking you why you aren't posting pics of the two of you on social media.

You should never argue with a woman. They may try to argue with you, but there is a specific way you should respond when they do. I can give you some advice, input, and examples of how to do this if you describe some of the arguments you have had that have lead to the on and off nature of your relationship. What was the argument? Who brought it up? Over what? What did she say, what did you say? How was it resolved?

 

[BaldandBrazy88]

Bringing this up to her shows insecurity on your part and that's also a turn-off for her. You shouldn't care if she posts pictures of the two of you on social media, and the fact that you have been on and off again quite a bit in that year really negates any seriousness that the total timespan would otherwise imply. If you have been on and off, she probably thinks there is a good chance you won't end up long-term so her explanation does make sense and if I were in her position I'd do the same thing (and I HAVE done the same thing with past plates or GFs).

I'm sure you'll get a lot of replies of people saying she doesn't want you in the pics so she can keep her options open and how awful of her that is, but honestly we should all be keeping our options open when we are dating someone we don't see as an ideal match for us. In the last four years, there has been only ONE girl I have posted pics of myself with on social media, despite my dating many women in that time period (the exception is that I will often post pics of myself with multiple attractive women in a group setting, but almost never pics that clearly show I am with one specific woman).

You want HER asking YOU why YOU aren't posting pics of the two of you on social media. Not the other way around. You are definitely in the wrong frame here. I would consider spending more time analyzing why you've been on-off so much and why she isn't head over heels for you.

Was gonna say something but you nailed it. Come on brothers we are not in highschool anymore

 

[vanballmoos]

Obviously not serious enough for her not to post pictures of the two of you on social media and her not asking you why you aren't posting pics of the two of you on social media.

You should never argue with a woman. They may try to argue with you, but there is a specific way you should respond when they do. I can give you some advice, input, and examples of how to do this if you describe some of the arguments you have had that have lead to the on and off nature of your relationship. What was the argument? Who brought it up? Over what? What did she say, what did you say? How was it resolved?

We’ve talked about kids, marriage, went to go look at apartments together, she just spent the week with me and family out of state before quarantine.

 

[BaldandBrazy88]

We’ve talked about kids, marriage, went to go look at apartments together, she just spent the week with me and family out of state before quarantine.

What a picture gon do to the relationship?.. seriously. And honestly think about this, she post it ( after you pressure her into) you will not be completely happy because the caption wasn't as you'd liked, the picture gets like 50 likes instead of the 1k she gets when she posts something by herself, so even if you "win" the win will not be as satisfactory and you think it'll be. Been through that trust me ( I was 16 and blue pill). And by the way, she should be the one asking YOU to post things with her so other girls can see it. Who's the prize here? You or her? But you re deeply in love and hopefully not on the verge of a rude awakening. Good luck

 

[Glassguy]

Just keep fvcking her and let her worry about the relationship. As soon as you worry about it (like you already have), she will lose interest.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

We’ve talked about kids, marriage, went to go look at apartments together, she just spent the week with me and family out of state before quarantine.

Need the specific info I asked for in my last post if you are interested in my input on what could be causing her current attitude.

 

[vanballmoos]

Need the specific info I asked for in my last post if you are interested in my input on what could be causing her current attitude.

My communication basically. I tend to just shut down and not say anything. Before we became official I just disappeared for 3 weeks. Once we got together she said that I don’t communicate my issues or what’s going on instead I’m a jerk about things. So when we fight we won’t talk for a week. We’ve been fighting a lot.

 

[Robert28]

Doesn’t want to upset her orbiters.

 

[backseatjuan]

If she posts a pic of every guy she's dating at the moment she will come across as a slvt.

 

[bizzym]

My communication basically. I tend to just shut down and not say anything. Before we became official I just disappeared for 3 weeks. Once we got together she said that I don’t communicate my issues or what’s going on instead I’m a jerk about things. So when we fight we won’t talk for a week. We’ve been fighting a lot.

So you act like an immature jack a$$ and not talk to her, she tells you she’d want to post if things were more stable, and you’re worried about being kept a secret?

She’s taking you around friends and family and had quite literally told you you’re the issue.

This has nothing to do with keeping orbiters-you’re focusing on the wrong thing. Your communication, or lack thereof is causing lots of issues. If she was ugly I’m sure you wouldn’t be as worried. You’re dating an attractive woman who is putting up with your bull crap. Disappearing for weeks and you want her to posts pictures of you? Nah, you haven’t earned that. I’d dump a woman with no hesitation for doing that.

You talk about being serious about her. Then act like it.

 

[CopperHead]

My communication basically. I tend to just shut down and not say anything. Before we became official I just disappeared for 3 weeks. Once we got together she said that I don’t communicate my issues or what’s going on instead I’m a jerk about things. So when we fight we won’t talk for a week. We’ve been fighting a lot.

This doesn't sound too healthy. Can you give some examples? You may want to work on your communication skills. Not just for your relationship, but for your personal and professional life as well.

 

[vanballmoos]

This doesn't sound too healthy. Can you give some examples? You may want to work on your communication skills. Not just for your relationship, but for your personal and professional life as well.

So we had been planning this trip for about a month. I had this important tournament that I wanted her to go to. She tells me last minute she didn’t think she could go because of her new job and didn’t want to take that much time off. I felt like she could’ve told me that sooner and was just playing games. I got pissed and hung up on her. Then we didn’t talk for 3 weeks.

 

[AttackFormation]

Lol, i thought this thread was by a woman asking about Chad. After reading the OP thats still what it looks like to me haha.

 

[BaldandBrazy88]

Lol, i thought this thread was by a woman asking about Chad. After reading the OP thats still what it looks like to me haha.

Dude right here don't even know he's losing her already haha.. shes not yours just your turn (hence don't expect no pictures) lol

 

[BackInTheGame78]

So I’ve been with my girlfriend coming up on a year. She is a complete knockout. Has 1500 followers, but only follows 500.

She’s posts some selfies every once in a while...like every few months? But she’ll also posts quotes, scenery, etc. every once in a while too. My issue is not in the single year that we’ve been together has she posted a picture of us together. She has posted a pic of us together on her insta story like twice, but that disappears after 24 hours.

I brought this up to her and she said until we’re more solid she’s not posting pics of us (we’ve been on and off quite a bit). She added that’s she’s done the whole adding pics of her boyfriends before just to end up taking them down when they’ve broken up and she doesn’t want to do that because people get all in her business and know that a breakup has occurred. She ideally would want pictures up when she’s engaged.

I haven’t posted any pictures of us either BUT that’s only because I’m following her lead.

Is she trying to keep me hidden?

Why do you care?